The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: Should I Contact My Birth Mom?

I feel an urge to get in touch, but I’m worried my adoptive parents will be hurt.
Source: The Atlantic

Editor’s Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

I was adopted at birth by two amazing parents who also adopted my younger sister. Whenever people have asked, “Are you interested in meeting your birth family?,” I’ve been consistent with my response: My adoptive family is my only family, and I have no interest in searching out my natural family.

I’m now a 34-year-old man with a young daughter and aging parents. Recently, I stumbled across a box of records in my parents’ attic that included the name of my birth mother. This was a particular shock since my parents have always maintained that I was adopted in a blind adoption. The records also revealed the name of the hospital where I was born, the city where my birth

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic6 min read
Florida’s Experiment With Measles
The state of Florida is trying out a new approach to measles control: No one will be forced to not get sick. Joseph Ladapo, the state’s top health official, announced this week that the six cases of the disease reported among students at an elementar
The Atlantic6 min read
There’s Only One Way to Fix Air Pollution Now
It feels like a sin against the sanctitude of being alive to put a dollar value on one year of a human life. A year spent living instead of dead is obviously priceless, beyond the measure of something so unprofound as money. But it gets a price tag i
The Atlantic8 min readAmerican Government
The Most Consequential Recent First Lady
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. The most consequential first lady of modern times was Melania Trump. I know, I know. We are supposed to believe it was Hillary Clinton, with her unbaked cookies

Related Books & Audiobooks