The Atlantic

Letters: ‘Parenting Is Hard. We All Do Our Best.’

Parents of trans children respond to <em>The Atlantic</em>’s July/August cover story.
Source: ballyscanlon / Getty

When Children Say They’re Trans

In The Atlantic’s July/August issue, Jesse Singal reported on the choices facing the parents of children who say they’re trans. “The current era of gender-identity awareness has undoubtedly made life easier for many young people who feel constricted by the sometimes-oppressive nature of gender expectations,” Singal wrote. “But when it comes to the question of physical interventions, this era has also brought fraught new challenges to many parents. ... How can they help their children gain access to the support and medical help they might need, while also keeping in mind that adolescence is, by definition, a time of fevered identity exploration?”


I write to you, Mr. Singal, as someone who previously dismissed my child when he said he “feels like a boy in my heart and in my mind” at the age of five, when I convinced myself that he was just bending gender norms. I write to you as someone who had to face that her child was self-harming at the tender age of eight. I write to you as a mother of a transgender son: This piece penned by you is highly problematic. It muddies the water

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic5 min read
The Strangest Job in the World
This is an edition of the Books Briefing, our editors’ weekly guide to the best in books. Sign up for it here. The role of first lady couldn’t be stranger. You attain the position almost by accident, simply by virtue of being married to the president
The Atlantic5 min readAmerican Government
What Nikki Haley Is Trying to Prove
This is an edition of The Atlantic Daily, a newsletter that guides you through the biggest stories of the day, helps you discover new ideas, and recommends the best in culture. Sign up for it here. Nikki Haley faces terrible odds in her home state of
The Atlantic3 min read
The Coen Brothers’ Split Is Working Out Fine
It’s still a mystery why the Coen brothers stopped working together. The pair made 18 movies as a duo, from 1984’s Blood Simple to 2018’s The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, setting a new standard for black comedy in American cinema. None of those movies w

Related Books & Audiobooks