Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexuality to the Grave

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

I’m a 65-year-old man. I am gay but have never admitted this to anyone. I have gone through life pretending. My friends probably suspect I am gay, but we have never discussed it. I always joke about never meeting the right girl, and how I love traveling so I could never settle down.

I have secretly fallen in love with male friends over the years, but never told them, as they are heterosexual and usually in a relationship. Eventually I get over these crushes,