Dear Therapist: I Can’t Stand My Sister-in-Law
Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.
Dear Therapist,
My husband’s family is extremely close-knit, and my immediate family spends lots of time with them. I value raising my children in a warm extended-family environment, but I am finding it harder and harder to be with my sister-in-law.
She is an honest, trustworthy person and has never done anything to hurt me or anyone else in the family. Unfortunately, I can't stand her. Everything about her rubs me the wrong way. She sees the world in black and white, while I see infinite shades of gray. She’s quite accomplished in her academic discipline, but has zero emotional intelligence, which is the main characteristic I appreciate in people. For example, she’s always asking whether things are “good or bad,” even when we’re discussing a topic like an interpersonal relationship, which doesn’t usually fit into
