‘I WORK ON A DIFFERENT operating system’
My autism went unnoticed my whole life – that was until I bumped into a relative at a family event. We were in a highly social situation, and I had withdrawn. I was flinching in the bright sunlight and I was dressed completely differently to everyone else, in very bright colours. As she had an autistic son, she recognised the signs and said to me: ‘You know you’re autistic, right?’
My first thought was that I didn’t want another thing wrong with me, and I rejected it out of hand because my idea of autism was the [starring Dustin Hoffman]. I’m not mathematical, I talk a lot, I’m OK socially. Sometimes I mess up, sure, and I’m quite anxious. But when I did look up how autism presents in women and I completed the Aspie test – an autism checklist – it was a real penny-dropping moment. I was in shock, but suddenly my whole life made perfect sense. It’s easy to diagnose yourself with a checklist, but these things were so unusual and presented so severely in my life there was no question for me.
