CHERYL STRAYED IS IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT
SUBJECT
Cheryl Strayed
OCCUPATION
Writer
INTERVIEWER
Berry Liberman
PHOTOGRAPHER
Joni Kabana
LOCATION
Portland, USA
DATE
August 2018
ANTIDOTE TO
Lack of direction
UNEXPECTED
Is her own therapist
Some people write in a way that is so honest, so raw, so impactful that you get a bit of a shock and have to look up from the page and take a breath. That was me reading Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild, about her 1,100-mile hike of the Pacific Crest Trail when she was 26—after the devastating loss of her mother and the end of her marriage. It was gut-centred, warm and strong; a book about freedom and choices, rage and grief, and being born into adulthood. Mostly, it was a book about self-love, and the process of walking back to oneself after a period of soul-shattering loss. We never hear these stories as women. Freedom and self-love always come at a terrible price. The heroine never gets the reward of herself fully embodied, unpunished and powerful.
Since putting that book down, I felt a kinship to Cheryl that had me follow her work to The New York Times podcast Dear Sugars, an advice show “for the lost, lonely and heartsick” co-hosted with Steve Almond. In every episode, the wonderfully empathic Steve and ever-authentic Cheryl gave agony aunt advice to poignant letters that listeners sent in. The advice came from that same real, compassionate and deeply human place that narrated Wild. It gave permission to all of us to be complex, nuanced and human. We need that in the shared public discourse—men and women giving us permission to be kind, compassionate and whole.
“When I was at the bottom point of my life, when everything was fucked up and all was lost and I was just really desperate, I made the decision to go hike a trail. That’s what I decided to do. So that is about strength. That is not about weakness or frailty or being fucked up. That’s about clarity and strength.”
On the day I speak to Cheryl, we are Skyping from her home study to mine, and the very person I had hoped to meet greets me. She is honest, kind, authentic, grounded and brilliant. We discuss her decision to finish the Dear Sugars podcast—because it feels like the work is done. And because popularity isn’t a reason to continue doing something when you have other things you want to do in the world. What? Nobody actually does things like that. I’m so moved and challenged—do I stay true to what I’m being called to do in the world, or am I staying on a comfortable treadmill? As the conversation ended I felt full-up with nourishment and was reminded that it is in the gentle doing of our work, contributing our voice with thoughtfulness and staying true to self, that is important.
Cheryl holds an open heart-space that most of the world tries to keep defended and closed. She goes straight to the deepest parts of our common humanity with her piercing truth-telling. She names things, as though it were the only way, and stands in her wisdom with sureness as a healing balm. We need these voices at this time. Voices that are resolutely human in the face of the violent degradation of our shared values, giving permission to stay true to our deepest instincts.
BERRY LIBERMAN: I was listening to the podcast yesterday and I got a shock because in the episode, you and Steve Almond—my best friends and mentors in my car after school drop off—said that it’s the end of the podcast.
CHERYL STRAYED: It is.
And you’re moving on. One half of me was completely crushed and the other. Can we talk about that? About next chapters and having the courage to end something in order for it to be whole. It feels like that might be what this is about.
