LIVE AND LET LIVE
A highly contagious mystery virus with the sinister name Covid-19 originates in the heart of China. It spreads swiftly. Conspiracy theorists rush to the conclusion that a Chinese bioweapon has been unleashed. With frightening rapidity the virus races around the globe. The death toll mounts. Stock markets tumble. Governments panic. Public order threatens to collapse. The world teeters on the brink…
Time for Daniel Craig — muscular upper body bulging through a close-fitting Tom Ford dinner jacket, and Omega watch glimpsed on the wrist — to perform a handbrake turn in the latest offering from the beleaguered British motor manufacturer Aston Martin and leap to the rescue. Hectic action ensues at casinos, on beaches, up mountains and in sundry exotic locations around the world; by now Bond’s air miles account must be so bloated it would be no surprise to learn that Greta Thunberg has put a contract out on him… A starting point for Bond No.26, working title ‘No Time to Fly’. With the help of a few nifty gadgets, a squirt of Q-department hand sanitiser, some breathtaking action sequences, and a script seasoned with a judicious sprinkling of Me Too appropriate millennial witticisms courtesy of Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the day is saved. Order returns, stock markets soar, and the 25th James Bond film does not need to be postponed…
Alas, of course, this is no James Bond plot to be solved with a few martinis, a bit of gunplay, and some Fleabag-style soliloquies. At the time of writing, the shadow of coronavirus is lengthening over the world, there is not a bottle of hand sanitiser, nor a face mask, to be bought, and yes, the year’s most important cinematic event, the release of No Time to Die, has been delayed.
It is hard to think of a more enduring popular culture franchise than James Bond. Stars Trek and Wars are but infants by comparison. Avengers, X-Men, Jack Reacher… just passing trends, mere specks of lint to be brushed from the sleeve of cinematic history. Perhaps only Dracula
