BAND AID

The shops are closed. You’ve scoured the web, clicking hopefully, endlessly, but you’re forever thwarted. It’s no use. No matter where you look, you can’t find any dumbbells. Goddamnit. You were supposed to get ripped during lockdown! You let out a piercing shriek, setting off a nearby car alarm. You can feel your muscles wasting away. You begin to weep. It wasn’t meant to be like this.

Then, over the wind, carried by the soft summer breeze, you hear two words: band training. If you’ve never considered resistance band training, let this