My first time (with a vibrator!)

There are a plenty of vibrators on Amazon, and lots of reviews. They range from one star, like this:

It’s rubbish. It was very noisy, the dog ran in barking, then it did nothing but vibrate. I can’t return it, obviously, so absolute waste of money.

To this, which scored an orgasmic five stars:

I’m 99% sure I passed over into the afterlife for a brief moment. I will never leave the comfort