Audiobook8 hours
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Narrated by Susan Bennett
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
“This parenting book actually made me a better parent.”—Lydia Kiesling, The New York Times
From #1 New York Times bestselling authors, the ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe)—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child.
This bestselling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:
· Cope with your child’s negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
· Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
· Engage your child’s willing cooperation
· Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
· Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
· Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, Faber and Mazlish’s down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
From #1 New York Times bestselling authors, the ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe)—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child.
This bestselling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:
· Cope with your child’s negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
· Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
· Engage your child’s willing cooperation
· Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
· Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
· Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, Faber and Mazlish’s down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
Author
Adele Faber
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed, award-winning experts on adult-child communication. Both lecture nationwide, and their group workshop programs are used by thousands of groups throughout the world to improve communication between children and adults.
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Reviews for How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Rating: 4.742990654205608 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
214 ratings34 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This was a great book with good examples and questions to ask yourself about the challenges with your child. I feel like I have new tools for my parenting skills. I would recommend this book to anyone needed help with parenting challenges.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This isn't the first re-read of this book for me, but of all the parenting books I've read over the years it's my favourite. The schmaltz is limited, and a lot of it is good common sense that's useful to be reminded of every now and again. I was conscious that I've not been properly listening to my 8 year old recently, and that I can be quick to respond to things he says with a 'told-you-so' response, or to try and suggest for him how he fixes a problem. He's definitely reaching a new stage of independence, so this book has reminded me to allow him to be more autonomous, and to do his own problem solving. So, this bit of calibration has already had two successes today. Firstly, I told my son I was going to try really hard to acknowledge his feelings more about things rather than immediately telling him what to do. His immediate response was "Mum - that's what I've been really wanting you to do". OK - point taken.Secondly, I decided to use his desire for increased autonomy to both our benefits. He normally takes a year to pick his way through his dinner, but tonight I said - "I'm going to allow you to be independent and grown up about how you eat your dinner this evening". And what do you know, he did much better than usual (still at his speed rather than mine, but there was no battle).4 stars - a useful tool for the most important job you ever get without a handbook.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is thoroughly engaging and I'm glad I bumped into this while browsing for something. It talks about various ways in which you can allow of your kid to talk and open up themselves, while making them better listeners themselves. There are practice questions / exercises throughout the book that'll help you ingrain the concepts in your mind.I found many parts of the book ingenious and easy to implement. The section on alternatives to punishment was absolutely eye-opening. My wife and I have discussed many pointers in this book and are on the way practice them with our 6 yr old.I thought I was a good (at least decent) parent, but the book said otherwise. Time to improve now!The best part of the book is that the relationship rules / guidelines mentioned can be applied to any relationship - so technically the title could have been 'How to talk so others will listen...'.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was a very helpful book, in getting my kids to focus to important words and directions, and also to get them to share more of their world with me. My 6 year old has responded particularly well to the one-word directions and choices given when needing to get certain tasks accomplished. (Would you like to take a bath or a shower? Would you like to put on your coat first or your shoes?)My 9 yo has taken incredibly well to the theory that by showing him that I am listening, he will take a more active role in coming up with his own solutions. (Oh, I see that you are upset... hmm... I bet that made you angry...")
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5At the beginning I get impression that its one of the silly books that are worthless, but going deeper with the examples and how this is not just some spoilying-kid kind-of.
More impressive when you try it and works for real! - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A blameless way of communicating. Concrete tips on how to deal with difficult and ordinary situations; suggestions on how to break negative cycles; and assurances that both children and parents have needs! A definite recommend.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A must read for not only parents but people in all stages of life.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wonderful book about parenting and relationships with kids.
This book saves you a ton of headache in the long run.
Thanks
-Manfred - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I began using techniques as soon as I started the book and it worked right away. Immediate shift. Thank you so much for the insight ??
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wish I'd read this when my son was young. Life gives you second chances. It will help me be a better grandma.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5An easy read with lots of practical tips and examples that every parent can relate to.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5While there are some good tips, she advocates no punishments for kids. No wonder there are so many entitled spoilt kids around thinking the world owes them everything. Reality is that you don't do your work, you'll get fired and you won't get paid. Why do kids think they should get passing grades despite not doing homework. Reality is that they do crimes, they go to jail. They do irresponsible stupid things, and there are consequences.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The concepts seem great, but not all parents have the happy hippie mentality.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It really helps put things into perspective and made me realize that I can approach many situations in a different, more effective way. I just got the paperback so my husband can read it and we can have it on hand as a reference.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This had a good, clear, often-repeated central message and technique, which in its way, is good. I get that it is based on the teaching sessions the authors engaged in, but this makes the read fairly swift.
Worth reading for reminders, and I have somewhat adopted the central message, so it does the job. I only liked it though - the tone of the writing? The quality? Maybe... - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book made me realize how most of how I was raised actively damaged the way I relate to others. I sought this book out so that I didn't pass these bad habits to my children. I plan to use the principles explored not just with my children but with everyone else around me
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a must for all parents! Great ideas, great examples. A loving method for our children. It's like somebody it's teaching me, again, how to walk.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Must-have for parents or just people in general! Very good listen
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Oh dude this book is awesome! It's intended as a guide for parents and educators to help them communicate with kids, but instead I got my hands on it when I was about nine years old, and it helped me refine my own immature communication skills. A life-changing book for me, for all the wrong reasons.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I hope I can put these things into practice.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This should be a mandatory read for all parents. It really made me think and start to change the way I interact with my children. I borrowed this book from the library but plan to purchase a copy so I can refer to it as the children go through there phases.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pretty well-written but a little idealistic. Still good tips one should take to mind, and it makes you think about things from a kid's perspective, something we too often forget to do.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I read this book when my son was young. He's 28 now. The book helped me. Its recommendations have application outside of child rearing. Highly recommend this for anyone's reading. Very surprised at the few ratings below 3. This is an excellent and helpful book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Brilliant and simple parenting ideas, especially for non-confrontational discipline. Well, at least it seems that way, but I'll have to see how it works. So far I've used it quite a bit with my 3-year-old and had significant success, some absolutely startling. It's just amazing what you your child will do when you give them a chance to think things through themselves. There have been a few failures. And it feels a bit awkward to strategically think through whole conversations.What was strange was that while reading this sometimes I would be on brink of tears. I would read the "bad" example and the consequences and realize that's what I've been doing. I've been pounding away at her self-esteem, and I've done it thinking I was teaching a good lesson.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5great, classic parenting book!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The first chapter, on acknowledging your child's feelings and engaging in the fantasy (Ice cream for dinner WOULD be tasty and I wish we could have some! But ice cream is for AFTER dinner...): pure magic. Whining has dropped precipitously. Later chapters haven't been tried yet--getting the child to problem-solve with us, getting them to come up with solutions and cooperate--but I can see them working; I just haven't had need of it yet.
This was a slightly older edition, but even within that I'm a little disturbed at how often the authors assume that, without their wisdom of "say THIS to your child:" my interaction would be more like "do you want a smack?" and other physical threats. Uh, no.
Worth at least a skim, if there's a lot of whining and defiance in your household. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The theme of this book can be summed up thusly: Treat your children like human beings. Sounds simple in theory but if you have kids, you know it?s not as easy as it sounds. It can be hard to treat your children like regular human beings when they don?t always act like regular human beings. Or is it just mine that can be irrational monsters at times? I really liked all the practical examples and situations that the authors used throughout the book. My husband listened to this book as well and we?ve been putting a lot of the tips into practice with our three children. So far, it?s working really well.I enjoyed listening this book in its audio format. The narrator, Susan Bennett, was dynamic and brought a lot of inflection to her reading ? it was anything but dry, which non-fiction audio can easily be. I liked this book so much that after listening to it, I bought the paperback so that I will be able to go back and refer to specific parts again and again. That?s the one drawback of wonderful instructional books like this in audio ? it?s hard to use an audio book for reference. Also, the paperback version has a lot of cartoons, which of course don?t translate into the audio format. However, I did like that my first reading was in the audio format as I often digest this type of book more easily if I listen to it. And my husband never would have read the printed version as he falls asleep after reading for about 10 minutes, no matter what kind of book it is! He was able to listen to this book on his daily commute, which worked out nicely.I highly recommend this book to all parents interested in gentle, effective alternative methods to yelling and nagging (and spanking if anyone still does that.) That should be pretty much all of us, right?
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I remember when Hazim Ginott showed up regularly on the Today Show demonstrating these practical ideas of talking to children..well, actually LISTENING to children. I love these "before and after", the "wrong way and the right way" cartoon strips giving actual scripts for parents to quit doing or follow. My grandchildren will go to college in 2 years, this book may no longer be needed, but I hope it is around when they become parents.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This text was so accessible and simple, yet so in depth. The index helps this book remain a constant resource I can refer to and the examples offered more explanatory solutions that I can relate to. I had to laugh at some of the suggestions, not because they were silly but because I had many ?Why didn?t I think of that?? moments. The most important thing this text has to offer is that it is not about what you say, it is often how you say it. The text didn?t do this in a condescending way either, especially as it used comic like examples that were a great reflection of real life. It is most important to remember that just as our children grow, we, too, will grow with them over the years.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was a great book that I found comical. It addressed some of the in your face issues parents and kids deal with. I personally found it interesting since I will be having my first child soon. It can also be used as a reference in my classroom if I'm faced with a similar situation.