Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
Written by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Narrated by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
Yes, you can say no to your child and still be a loving parent. Discover how setting biblical boundaries can make your parenting better today!
Join Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, as they share the research and guidance you need to raise your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. What Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your family.
Using biblically backed principles, including respect, stewardship, and self-control, Drs. Cloud and Townsend share the lessons they've learned firsthand after decades of working with families across the country. The tools and support they provide in Boundaries with Kids will change the way you view healthy boundaries, no matter where you are in your parenting journey.
With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives. You'll learn how to:
- Define appropriate boundaries and consequences for your kids
- Set limits and still be a loving parent
- Bring balance to an out-of-control family life
- Apply the ten laws of boundaries to your parenting
- Understand the six steps to implementing boundaries in your home
Don't forget to check out the Boundaries family collection of books and workbooks dedicated to key areas of your life, including dating, marriage, raising teenagers, and leadership.
Henry Cloud
El doctor Henry Cloud es un conferencista de gran popularidad. Junto al doctor John Townsend es anfitrión del programa de radio New Life Live!, además de ambos ser fundadores de la Clínica Cloud-Townsend y de la organización Cloud-Townsend Resources. Es autor de varios libros premiados con el reconocimiento Medalla de Oro, entre ellos Límites y El poder transformador de los grupos pequeños. El doctor Cloud, su esposa y sus dos hijas radican en el sur de California.
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Reviews for Boundaries with Kids
121 ratings29 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A good friend of mine read this book and recommended it to me. Then coincidentally my son started reading it. So I thought I'd pick it up, not expecting it to be as good as it is! This is probably one of the best books I've read this year. The authors are Christian and come from that orientation, but anyone could read this book and be transformed by its truths. The chapters cover boundary setting in different spheres of life- work, marriage, with children, aging parents, and with oneself. They talk about guilt, and for me one of the most important concepts- owning one's problems. So ( and this is an oversimplification) if you are annoyed by someone's being consistently late- just let him/her know that next time you hope she'll be on time but if not you'll leave w/o her. Whoa! It's so simple, but so few people actually do this! They, including me, will cajole, remind, nag, family members to get ready, hurry up, c'mon, we're going to be late, etc.. Instead of setting a boundary... So.. I tried it with my daughter. And lo and behold.. now she knows I'll leave for the gym w/o her if she's not ready. And guess what? She's prompt now! So... not that this is a magic cure.. but just one simple example of taking control of yourself and letting consequences happen naturally . Love it. I plan to re-read this from time to time. Highly recommend.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I'm surprised to be giving this a full five stars, seeing as Dr. Cloud is an evangelical Christian - and writes like one! - and I'm agnostic/atheist. But it earns the full five stars. What he says about boundaries (and the way to sanity) is something pretty much everyone in the modern world needs to hear in some form. If you can deal with a bit of Christianity without it driving you totally nuts (and, really, it's not all that strong, doesn't sound like a Bible study or anything), then I'd highly recommend this book.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5So helpful for me and for my children! Thank you!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wish I had this book 10 years ago! So much was familiar but took what I wanted to accomplish and gave the tools to show me where I went wrong. Praying for the next generation to learn from my mistakes and raise my grandchildren even better!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5As a new mom, this book was very insightful and encouraging. Lots of great principles. Enjoyed it thoroughly.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A good book that convicted me of areas to improve.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I’d give it 6 stars if I could. Very useful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Brilliant book and concept. It is foundational reading for parenting.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Some good things to say but alot of unhelpful advice. Read I Kissed Dating Goodbye it's much more clear.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I first read this book in the 1990s, at about the same time I read The Joshua Factor. Cloud and Townsend integrate their psychological and theological understandings in a refreshing manner. It is unashamedly Christian in focus, but that need not deter the non-Christian from taking note of the lessons, and adapting the spiritual aspects to their own faith or spirituality. What I like about the book is the applicability of boundary lessons, especially to areas of one's life that are deeply familial and personal. This is the book's strength, and when combined with the psychological foundations and research, the messages are powerful. I am pleased to have re-read this book, and the timing was perfect. The quote I wrote down over and over again while reading this was "Own the problem" (p. 207). And Proverbs 19:3 kept coming back to me: "The foolishness of man twists his way, and his heart frets against the Lord" (NKJV). If the non-Christian reader can identify with the philosophical and spiritual bases drawn upon in the book, there is much wisdom to be gained. A work well worth reading as part of one's end-of-year reflection.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved the book. It's very simple but will take work to implement. It showed me several things in my life that may indicate that I, personally, was not taught boundaries. It will be harder to impart to my children the things I don't have, so I'm going to choose to read the first book about adult boundaries. These steps are so logical! It's just that the author really make you feel like you have permission to set boundaries, you aren't the only one that feels the pain when your children don't like boundaries. I have the ability to create a game plan and I do hope this helps my young children grow into emotionally mature adults. I'm thankful for this book and it's teaching.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very good Book.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Good, basic thoughts on setting boundaries in your life.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Certainly need to listen to the full version. Such a powerful body of work. This is what I need right now.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5just ok as a book. The concept is simple and straight forward but the book is rather tedious.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a book that I have to read many times over, the concept of letting go of the bad to let in the good resonated more than anything. Yes the book is repetitive, but the more you read something, the more you will understand and retain. Each person carries their own daily load, but we all share our burdens.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I agree with the concepts put forward in this book, though I found it almost impossible to read from a literature point of view. I assume that Cloud and Townsend have tried to write it so that it can be read and understood by anyone, which leaves it extremely bland, repetitive and poorly written. Rather than expand well on the topic or go into greater depth, they have repeated their concepts over and again, applying the same formula to multitudes of case studies. This book could be condensed to about 20 pages, if people can't get the same thought process out of that they aren't going to. It was a good idea, but very poorly executed, they may have done better to employ a ghost writer.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5AMAZING!! I learned so much overnight through this book that I’ve learned from multiple counselors and classes in 14 years as a parent. Thank you!!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A helpful book in understanding how to define and set healthy boundaries for the Christian life.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Many good insights. I can understand those who say it was life-changing. It was recommended to me with the caveat that I'd have to not be distracted by the many Christian and biblical references. I find that's good advice. Don't avoid reading it just because you're not from a religious background; that can just be considered window dressing. The book offers a lot of help to those who are burned out or stressed by daily demands or difficult people.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Found this book very helpful. Easy to read and grasp the principles. Essential advice for survival in marriage and parenting and friendships
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent read. It was recommended to me by someone who encouraged me and prayed with me. It changed the way I dealt with people, and my way of perceiving in general. If there is one book I'd recommend without reserve, it'd be this one.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Front row placement on my bookshelves, so I can refer to it often. This book is beautifully written, with scriptural and historical data to explain and clarify sociological expectations and create more functional relations.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I would give this book 10 stars if I could... life changing.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a very helpful book. The authors cover a wide variety of different types of boundary issues, so naturally, the reader will find it difficult to relate to some of them. My experience was that I related quite strongly to some and couldn't relate at all to others. Still, it's certainly a very worthwhile book to read if you or someone you know is struggling with a personal boundary issue of some kind - be it spouse, family, friends, work or church. They're all pretty well covered here.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5There is some very useful stuff in this book, but I do not believe the authors distinguish enough between keeping those boundries up about the bad while loosening up about the good. They SAY that, but in their examples they do not encourage that.To explain, let me use the story at the end of the book, which is a woman's day when she has her boundaries functioning "properly." The discipline she teaches her childing is good, but as for the rest of it, what love does she show? Does she help bear the burdens of those around her, as we are instructed to do in Galatians 6?Obviously not. In fact, she dumps her work onto her assistant so she can skip out early, makes herself a pest to her husband until he conforms to her wishes, and hangs up on a friend who had called her for help.Before boundaries, she was a wreck, it is true. Yet is the solution to being stressed an abandonment of Christian responsibility, or is it to lean on God for more patience?I would rather be tearing my hair out in service than to assert myself in what I would consider an unchristian way. The authors have laid out a method by which you can make everyone around you do your bidding. And yet the first shall be last in the end. Let me be a servant!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5An excellent resource for parents attempting to raise their children to have proper discipline in life. The authors do quite well at explaining how the concept of boundary formation and maintenance assists children in learning how to grow up and function in a responsible and mature way in the world. The authors are believers in God and provide judicious use of quotations of Scripture. The authors' explanation of how a lack of development proper boundaries in childhood leads to various challenges in adulthood is extremely illuminating and helps provide the "big picture" of parenting and what it is all about. The principles of maintaining firm boundaries while showing empathy for the challenges they provide for the child and also the distinction between hurt and harm are also quite beneficial. Extremely good resource-- one that every parent should consider.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5SYNOPSISHelps parents set boundaries with their children and teach the concept of boundaries to their children.