Audiobook9 hours
The Highly Sensitive Person
Written by Elaine Aron
Narrated by Barbara Caruso
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., is a world-renowned psychologist and speaker. The Highly Sensitive Person is an indepth look at characteristics that define sensitivity. Through self-assessment tests and techniques, Aron shows listeners how to identify their own personality traits. This exceptional book can lead to remarkable results for many who suffer from constant stress and anxiety.
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Reviews for The Highly Sensitive Person
Rating: 4.459016393442623 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
122 ratings12 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5When I read Aron's The Highly Sensitive Child about six years ago, the friend who'd recommended it said I'd really only need to read that one to get the main ideas of this one. I pretty much agree with her.
There were several things I found useful in this book. The first is a simple one. Aron suggests that, while we may be used to tensing our shoulders up by our ears even in sleep as an attempt to block out excess stimuli, we try situating our bodies in a posture consistent with relaxation. Even if we don't initially feel relaxed, if we move our shoulders down and back and center our heads over our shoulders and hips as though we were relaxed, our minds will gradually follow and calm down, too. I've found this to work for me to a degree.
The other really helpful thing is just to focus on the stimuli in my environment, trying to maintain a balance between very stimulating things and calmer things. When I become overwhelmed, I tend to lash out and yell. Then I bad-mouth myself for my lack of discipline or control and tell myself that I'm a bad person for yelling at my wonderful children. This new focus, though, seems to be more productive (surprise, surprise). Instead of trying to identify when I'm feeling angry (which is difficult for me), I try to identify when I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. Then, if I have enough presence of mind, I can look at the various stimuli in my environment and try to cut out one or more of them. Sometimes this means turning off the radio or asking my children to speak one at a time instead of making their requests simultaneously (you can guess which one of those is more effective).
Along with these helpful things, though, I found the book to be very repetitive. In addition, she uses a different definition of "introversion" and "extraversion" (her spelling) than the one I use (mine's more a Myers-Briggs definition about whether we get our energy from inside ourselves or externally, while hers seems to be more a matter of where we direct ourselves, which is a subtle but significant difference), so her discussions about HSPs in relation to introversion and extraversion were a little irrelevant to me. She also seems to go on a lot of tangents (something of which I'm guilty, too) and spends a lot of time really rah-rahing for HSPs, which feels a little unnecessary to me. Sure, talk up the positives of the trait, but I find a cheering section a little patronizing.
Aron puts a lot of focus on healing insecure attachments in childhood, to the point that one of her exercises is suspiciously like a re-birthing exercise. That's all a little woo-woo for me, but it might float someone else's boat. Oh, and the anecdote she tells about the highly sensitive child who grows up, goes to college, and hangs himself...yes, that was a little jarring and I think I'd kind of rather not have that story in my brain.
But despite all of this, I did find the book gave me insights into the kinds of things that overwhelm me and how to manage them in my everyday life. Doesn't mean I always follow her suggestions though. I mean, right now I'm trying to type a book review while sweating in a bathrobe that's way too warm and while one child is strewing paper clips all over and the other is yelling from the bathroom that she needs more toilet paper even though there's an extra roll just a couple of feet from the toilet. The stimulus I ought to cut out is the book review (or maybe the bathrobe, or maybe I ought to just give my child the toilet paper), but am I doing that?8 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I knew from what I'd heard of this book that it was a book for and about me, so when I started to read it there was just a sort of comfortable affirmation. There were a few early chapters that were way too heavy on the psycho-babble to sit well with me, talk about regressing to your infant self and trying to imagine how you saw the world, then a whole long chapter about your "infant-body", a term that just made me want to throw the book every time I came across it (which was quite often). I've figured a lot of this out for myself over the years though, so I suppose if this was all new information to someone, this approach could be useful. I also thought the overall tone of the book was a bit coddling and/or condescending, but I suppose a lot of people need that kind of hand-holding in therapy, and the book was written by a psychologist. Once I got past those chapters on early childhood there were enough moments of stunning revelation that reading this book proved to be an invaluable and life altering experience for me. Most of the experiences in my past that still troubled and/or puzzled me are re-framed in a new way now that I can see how differently things would've likely played out if I weren't such a highly sensitive person. I am deeply at peace with myself and my past like I never would've thought possible. I no longer suspect/fear I'm half crazy. Most importantly, I can see the benefits to having this kind of a nervous system, and I now have an even better awareness and some new tools for getting a grip when the world starts to overwhelm me. I am relieved, soothed, educated and prepared. I've always thought it would be awfully handy to have an owner's manual to give to my loved ones so they might better understand why I get in certain moods and say and do certain things. I've found two books previously that filled that need extremely well, and this book is definitely volume three of my personal series of owner's manuals. I truly love this book for the changes it's brought about in how I think about myself, my history and my future.
4 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I highly recommend to anyone who has always thought there is something different about you. You just might have a sensitive personality trait. It provided clarity to my sensitivity and I hope to use this new found knowledge of myself to mange it.
Also it does bring up some buried memories that you may think you’ve forgotten. I got through that by talking to whoever was involved in the memory about the memory.
Overall, it is an insightful book.1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5While, I expected more insight from this book, I did discover that there really could be other people out there who seem to feel the way I do. I hoped this book would offer me some insight as to why I feel that way, but it really didn't. It just said that I do feel this way...and that's all I'm going to be able to do about it.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5So very validated on things I speculated about myself and feel encouraged to embrace what makes me different.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Worth the read, this book is valuable techniques and advice for adjusting to a dominance centered world
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It was very educational though kind of repetitive at times and with a lot of information that can be overwhelming. But overall is a good book with an important and interesting topic that validates feelings and gives suggestions for help.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5As a hsp, this is much much needed. Thank you.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5amazing book! this helped me learn so much about myself and her voice is so comforting...I almost cried when the book was over...felt like saying goodbye to a guardian who understands you.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent, informative book to learn about HSPs. I enjoyed the style and tone of the author.
Narration by Barbara Caruso is fantastic. Highly recommended. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This. Book is truly life changing for me. I can already feel it. I have never felt so understood in my life
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Awesome. So helpful in offering great insight in detailing the life of an HSP. Thank you. The book has allowed me to be more patient with my highly sensitive self with gained knowledge from these miraculous words.