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    Manic: A Memoir
    Manic: A Memoir
    Manic: A Memoir
    Audiobook6 hours

    Manic: A Memoir

    Written by Terri Cheney

    Narrated by Coleen Marlo

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    On the outside, Terri Cheney was a highly successful, attractive Beverly Hills entertainment lawyer. But behind her seemingly flawless facade lay a dangerous secret-for the better part of her life Cheney had been battling debilitating bipolar disorder and concealing a pharmacy's worth of prescriptions meant to stabilize her moods and make her "normal."

    In bursts of prose that mirror the devastating highs and extreme lows of her illness, Cheney describes her roller-coaster life with shocking honesty-from glamorous parties to a night in jail; from flying fourteen kites off the edge of a cliff in a thunderstorm to crying beneath her office desk; from electroshock therapy to a suicide attempt fueled by tequila and prescription painkillers.

    With Manic, Cheney gives voice to the unarticulated madness she endured. The clinical terms used to describe her illness were so inadequate that she chose to focus instead on her own experience, in her words, "on what bipolar disorder felt like inside my own body." Here the events unfold episodically, from mood to mood, the way she lived and remembers life. In this way the listener is able to viscerally experience the incredible speeding highs of mania and the crushing blows of depression, just as Cheney did.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateApr 10, 2018
    ISBN9781977376909
    Author

    Terri Cheney

    Terri Cheney, once a successful entertainment attorney representing the likes of Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones, now devotes her advocacy skills to the cause of mental illness.  On the boards of directors of several mental health organizations, she also facilitates a weekly community support group at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute.  Her writings about bipolar disorder have been featured in the New York Times, the Huffington Post, and countless articles and blogs.  She currently resides in Los Angeles.  

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    Reviews for Manic

    4/5

    205 ratings23 reviews

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    • 3/5
      I had to read this book for my Co-Occuring Disorders class in 2015. Basically it's an autobiograpical tale of a woman dealing with Bi-Polar Disorder along with her addiction isues. I cannot remember a single other thing about it. Like I said, it was required reading and I would never have picked it up if I hadn't had to read it for the class. I got an "A" on the report though.
    • 5/5
      Funny and eye opening about bipolar Disorder. Well written I enjoyed it
    • 5/5
      Second time is just as good. Her other book is great too
    • 5/5
      Exceptionally written. Raw relatability for other bipolars like myself. Very helpful and inspiring story. Thank you Terri!
    • 3/5
      A Beverly Hills lawyer writes a memoir about the ups and downs of her bi polar disorder. Not a very long book, was finished in a few hours, but easily kept my interest.
    • 5/5
      As a parent to a child with both developmental and learning disabilities, I am constantly seeking resources that will enhance my daughter’s quality of life. With her recent diagnosis of mood disorder co-morbid severe ADHD (age 8) we are already looking into the possible diagnosis of bi-polar when she is older. After countless hours at the psychiatrist’s office and the diagnostic center, I can only imagine what the future might be for her. I am both scared and hopeful that she might have a productive life. However, I realize that we are going to have one hell of a ride ahead of us in the future. As of now I am embracing her diagnosis rather than running away and looking for ways to prepare for the future. This book is one of those ways. I enjoy reading book about how a person can take their demons and conquer them to the point of control and have a fairly normal life. This book was an intense read and was very hard to pick up at times. The opening chapter was the toughest believe it or not for me. The lack of control, impulsive, super hyper, manic mood swings; all reminded me of my own child and this broke my heart. This book might seem difficult for others to read since the author is in the Hollywood environment and is somewhat glamorous. However, I would ask the readers to look beyond that and see the importance of the message. The idea that one can survive and live with bi-polar disorder is something to celebrate. The struggles that these souls have to go through is horrible and the author gives the reader a small window of what that is like. As a parent to a special needs child I have to recommend this book to the special needs community. It is worth your time and please read it all the way through. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel even when we can’t see it.
    • 4/5
      First of all, this was so well written. Unlike other memoirs I have read, there was no sense of rambling or getting off track. Each chapter had a point and was both self contained and yet part of the whole. And then the subject itself - Ms. Cheney manages to create a real sense of what she experiences without resorting to sensationalism. Finally, I loved the final chapters where she describes her choices to stay sane - the struggle to resist the more appealing parts of her disease in order to stay with sane. There is raw courage in those moments. Well done.
    • 4/5
      Terri Cheney is one of my favorite authors. She shares her most personal emotions while dealing with bi-polar disorder. Having the disease myself, she confidentaly has shown that even the worst episodes can be overcome, which encourages me I am so glad she finally has stability in her life.
    • 5/5
      Wow!!!! This book completely grabbed me. I've know a few people in my life that I could relate this story to and it was like getting struck by a hammer. I can't begin to say I understand now what someone with this illness goes through but, this book sure helped me understand some things. I couldn't put it down and finished it in a few hours. I definitely would recommend to anyone needing a understanding of this disorder.
    • 5/5
      I need a dozen copies of this book. She captured so many of the feelings so well that everyone who loves me needs to read this. I kept nodding along going "yes, exactly! Oh thanks the gods I'm not alone!"So many of the books written about individual bipolar patients are about the extreme cases, this one is about those of us who can pass when we want to. Thank you, Terri, thank you thank you a thousand times for writing this.If you know or are a manic-depressive, please do yourself the favor of getting your hands on a copy of this book. Graspable language and honest admissions make this book a must read for the loved ones who suffer along with us, and frank descriptions of mood shifts and her own truth make this one a must read for those of us whose brain chemistry causes the suffering.I want to mark this with highlighters and make all those who care for me read it, she spoke my truth better than I've been able to in so many places.
    • 4/5
      Very interesting memoir of a woman with bipolar disorder. I've read other memoirs of depressives, but this may be the first one I've read that goes into the mindset of a person in a manic phase. Really terrifying. I've seen close up depression in its depths. While that's a dismal state, it strikes me that it doesn't come close to the insanity of a manic on a mission.
    • 2/5
      Interesting but I cannot keep up with a manic-depressed person. It was tiring. It must be a horrible disease.
    • 4/5
      Join Terri Cheney in her bouts of manic-depression. Fly with her when she is manic, and flirts with the partners of her best friends; shop with her when she cleans out her savings accounts; when ever cell of her body is on fire; and then when she decends into hell and join her in her many suicide attempts or when she is suffering from malnutrition. This is the closest I ever want to come to this awful disease!
    • 4/5
      Manic takes its readers on a journey through the treacherous bouts of mania and the bleak depths of depression. Terri Cheney is a prime example of how mental illness and tragedy can afflict even the brightest, most educated, wealthy and above all pristine looking individuals. As a powerful and respected entertainment lawyer, she represented high profile clients and mingled with A-list celebrities, all while keeping up the illusion of normalcy. For most people, there is no such thing as too much happiness. However, for Cheney, surges of happiness tend to foreshadow danger because they signify a descent into mania. The manic episodes become charged by bursts of unlimited energy which spurn sexual impropriety and complete lack of self control. Her portrayal of her experience with depression reveals her vulnerability and loneliness, leading to a number of suicide attempts, both spontaneous and planned. There is no chronological order to the book, as Cheney explains, because “life for me is not defined by time, but by mood”. While this disjointed style takes some getting used to, it is also effective in mirroring the chaotic nature of manic depression, just as Cheney had wanted. Cheney’s writing style is personal and inviting, as though she is recounting her tragic tales to a close friend. Many events in her life are quite shocking and the vivid descriptions of her suffering are sometimes hard to digest. Nonetheless, these stories are an important part of her past and a reality of those who must cope with manic depression. They remind us of how fragile human beings can be and that appearances are not always as they seem. Cheney’s pain is clearly manifested throughout the novel but the humor intertwined in her narration shows a sense of acceptance and maturity. Her ability to look back upon the most excruciating years in her life with insight and understanding is remarkable. Terri Cheney should be applauded for her courage to open up to the world about her struggle with bipolar disorder. I know I am grateful to her for letting me in.
    • 1/5
      I recently read this memoir and frankly, found it to be poorly written and confusing. There was not a continuous narrative, rather the chapters seemed to be incoherently strung together. I found it very frustrating to read, not knowing in what stage of the author's life I was placed at the beginning of each chapter. I would not recommend this to a curious reader. There are other, better, memoirs on mental illness and manic depression.
    • 4/5
      (3.5 stars) I'm a big fan of mental illness memoirs and other books about mental health issues, so I was excited when "Manic" came out. It looked really interesting. It was a pretty good read. It held my attention, which can be difficult sometimes, because I get distracted easily. The writing is easy rather than fantastic and sometimes I feel it is a little lacking in depth or explanation of the author's actual feelings during her emotion states. Sometimes her descriptions are a bit repetitive as well as when she describes the hair raising on her arms. I think the author is still a bit hidden in regards to her mental illness. However, I think this is a book worth reading and one I wouldn't want to miss. It is a good addition to the spectrum of mental health memoirs out there and I would ultimately recommend it.
    • 4/5
      Terri Cheney provides a raw, unflinching account of her mental illness, specifically the manic states of her bipolar disorder. Told in brief, non-chronological order chapters, the memoir mimics the unpredictability and jarring nature of mania, leaving the reader slightly unmoored.One of Cheney’s stated goals is to reduce the stigma of mental illness. She illustrates the lengths that those suffering from mental illness go to in order to hide their disease from colleagues, friends, and strangers. She also shows that once she shares her “secret” she finds more support and understanding than she expected. More factual information about bipolar disorder would have been nice. Placing Cheney’s illness and behavior in context and along a continuum would have been more educational. As a memoir, this book provided good insight into Cheney’s most extreme episodes and behaviors. However, readers should not assume that Cheney’s experience is typical of all manic depressives. A disclaimer to this fact would have been appreciated.
    • 3/5
      A very gripping, in-depth look inside the life of someone suffering from manic depression. The narrative style was a bit disjointed and at times repetitive, but overall worth the read if you are interested in this subject or just curious as to what manic depression feels like. I think I would have enjoyed it a bit more if the story had been told in some type of order, but I understand why the author chose to tell the story the way she did. By the end you feel like you've read a bunch of short stories, rather than an actual cohesive memoir.
    • 4/5
      A captivating look inside the mind of a bright and successful young woman living with manic depression. Brilliantly captures the sparkle and despair, and the places in-between where she struggles to find balance. A gritty and fascinating story, well-told and ultimately hopeful; required reading for anyone wanting to better understand this disease and the people who live with it.
    • 4/5
      Terri Cheney writes with skillful and evocative prose an unflinching, candid travelogue of her mind's landscape as her extreme bi-polar mood swings hold her life and her personal dreams hostage. In the depths of her despair, she is suicidal. But when she is manic, she says "I may think you are fascinating . . . I already know that I am fabulous." Yet as she develops a greater awareness of her illness, she learns to recognize the warning signs of when she is tipping into a more extreme phase -- and she describes the mental effort and strategems she employs to keep herself from crossing that line. If she just keeps swiveling in her chair, she can keep the torrent of manic words at bay.The author's approach of describing vignettes of her life out of chronological order was effective in conveying a sense of being adrift -- out of place, out of time -- without the usual cues and structure that we take for granted in our lives.Cheney ends on a positive note, describing a poignant moment when she makes a conscious decision to let go of alcohol -- a step toward greater mastery over her illness. The reader is left with the impression that she can better manage her illness and has found a career path better tailored to her. Like other reviewers, I found myself wanting to know more about that -- I wanted more of a sense of closure -- but perhaps that was deliberate, and indeed consistent with her overall approach, if the author continues to live in the Land of Uncertainty.
    • 4/5
      This memoir was written not in chronological order, but in brief, powerful bursts that detail the author's harrowing life with manic depression. Some of the episodes described are shocking, like her arrest and her time in a mental institution. They come alive with detail and emotion and you feel as if you are watching Terri as she goes through these experiences. You feel her pain of trying to find a relationship with a person who not only can deal with the fact that she is a manic depressive, but realizes that it is an integral part of who she is. I am amazed that someone in the depths of depression or in the height of mania could manage to retain a high powered job as a lawyer. I guess it's a testimony to the strength of her character. I would reccomend this novel to anyone who's suffered from a mental illness, known someone who's suffered, or just to someone who has felt lost in the world.
    • 3/5
      Cheney's details her struggle with manic depression through a series of non-chronological chapters. She explains at the start that this more truthfully mirrors her life as she has experienced it. It does, however, result in some repetition in the chapters that may or may not have been a result of the editing. For example, in a number of chapters, Cheney describes how acute each sense becomes during mania. The descriptions do not differ much from chapter to chapter although the situations do. That said, it's comforting to read about another person's experience of mental illness, how that intersects with social relationships and work. While each person's experiences are unique, Cheney's memoir sheds light on her experience and hopefully will help some of it's readers feel more "normal" and less alone. Manic is interesting and honest.
    • 3/5
      This is a very fast read, and Cheney offers incredibly vivid descriptions of what it is like to be in both manic and depressed states. Readers will quickly be swept up in the horror and confusion of Cheney's experiences, but overall the book lacks a certain amount of cohesion and organization. Cheney's intention in offering her experiences out of chronology and in an almost stream-of-consciousness manner seems to be to keep the reader as unbalanced as she is. This works, but unfortunately it also keeps the reader from gaining much in the way of understanding the practical fallout of the experiences she describes. For example, she describes in great detail how, under the influence of a delicious mania, she seduced her best friend's boyfriend -- but the reader doesn't get much in terms of the long-term consquences. We're left to assume that it ruined the friendship, but this is never stated outright. Similarly, I found myself repeatedly wondering how exactly Cheney supported herself after apparently going on many manic shopping sprees, enduring repeated hospitalizations, and losing (or quitting) several high-powered legal jobs. Ultimately, there is a slight impression that Cheney's life is now more under control than it once was, but there are very few details explaining how this finally came to be.Overall, I recommend it as an excellent read for someone who wants to know what it feels like to be manic-depressive, but I would not recommend it as essential reading for someone who is coping with the disease, nor would I recommend it as an informational resource.