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The Everafter
The Everafter
The Everafter
Ebook209 pages2 hours

The Everafter

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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About this ebook

Madison Stanton doesn't know where she is or how she got there. But she does know this—she is dead. And alone, in a vast, dark space. The only company she has in this place are luminescent objects that turn out to be all the things Maddy lost while she was alive. And soon she discovers that with these artifacts, she can reexperience—and sometimes even change—moments from her life.

Her first kiss.

A trip to Disney World.

Her sister's wedding.

A disastrous sleepover.

In reliving these moments, Maddy learns illuminating and sometimes frightening truths about her life—and death.

This is a haunting and ultimately hopeful novel about the beauty of even the most insignificant moments—and the strength of true love even beyond death.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateSep 29, 2009
ISBN9780061964572
Author

Amy Huntley

Amy Huntley says that a colleague's musings were the spark that inspired The Everafter: "I've always had a tendency to attach myself to the objects of my life, so when one of my friends said something like, 'Wouldn't it be funny if all those things you lost turned up after you were dead, just when you didn't need them anymore?' it got me thinking. But I wanted to believe there would be a purpose to their reappearance. As the story evolved, I realized that Madison's quest to make peace with moving on to the Everafter is really the same battle that everyone goes through as they grow and become someone new." Amy lives with her daughter in Michigan, where she is a teacher of high school English.

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Rating: 3.890977536842106 out of 5 stars
4/5

133 ratings17 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    We are taken along with Madison as she tries to find herself using items she lost during her life. Madison also tries to discover how she died by going back to various events and times in her life. This book works on oh so many levels and the author lives in Michigan!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was skeptical from the get go. Beautiful covers sometimes are trying to make up for less-than impressive insides, for one thing. Then, the first couple of pages were very bleh. Just couldn't get interested.At some point, it got slightly more interesting. The characters started to have a tad more depth, and I actually found a reason to like Maddy. She's clumsy and anxious and always loses things, and I really like how much she hates change and how attached she gets to objects. I'm exactly the same way, so Maddy ended up being rather relateable and likeable. The whole concept is pretty cool too. Lost things connecting you to the life you've lost. I really started to get into it and was having a ball trying to figure out how she died, how this realm worked, what happened to everyone else, etc.But... the ending fell flat for me. Didn't like it. It wasn't super realistic to me. The whole time different things had gotten built up and I was just waiting for a really gruesome and tragic ending... And I mean, that's what I got. But for some reason it just... didn't quite work for me.Plus, what the heck happened to Cozy????
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Madison Stanton doesn't know where she is or how she got there. But is sure of one thing - she is dead. She's alone, in a vast, dark space (a/k/a "is" - because it just "is") - and the only things around her are objects that turn out to be things that Maddy lost while she was alive.Through some quick thinking - she soon discovers that by grabbing hold of these items, she can re-experience—and sometimes even change—moments from her life.Her first kiss. A trip to Disney World. Her sister's wedding. A disastrous sleepover.In reliving these moments, Maddy learns illuminating and sometimes frightening truths about her life—and death.This story was hauntingly beautiful - it was just one of those books that once your done with it, you put it down, and then will think about it over and over again.I loved Ms. Huntley's take on the after-life. A dark space with objects that you lost and being able to relive those moments - possibly even altering an event... just genius. Through these instances we learn of Maddy's life - her family, friends, boyfriend. You really get to know and love Maddy, and you are saddened since you know from the start that she is dead. There are also some wonderful supporting characters, her boyfriend, Gabe, her best friend Sandra.But what really made this book fantastic was the suspense - I mean, the pages were flying as I quickly devoured this in the hopes of finding out exactly what caused Maddy's death. How she got where she is? Why she was there? And boy, was I caught off guard with the ending. It was heartbreaking.This is a haunting but ultimately hopeful novel that makes you appreciate the things we take for granted in our daily lives and will leave you pondering life after death. This was a wonderful debut for Ms. Huntley and one that I highly recommend.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5

    The premise of this reminds me of a YA book I'd recommend to fans of this, Heaven Looks a Lot Like the Mall by Wendy Mass.
    ................
    And now that I've read this, I'd recommend you skip it and go straight to Mass's book.  This was a story about how a girl comes to terms with her death.  The other characters served her growth, but weren't fully developed.  Well, she wasn't really either, tbh.  And what's up with the subplot about Dana?  That made no sense and should have been excised by the editor.  Of course, then the book would have been too short to publish.  The book wasn't hard to enjoy while reading, but after I'm done, and thinking about it, I like it less and less.

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    When Madison wakes up, she knows she is dead. You can tell this from the first line of the story, "I'm dead." Despite this, she does not know how or why she died, just knows that she is just... dead. It is a very original take on life after death. In this book, readers are shown random parts of her life, some significant, others not so much. So the reader sees what Madison sees, to be exact. How Madison finds these random scenes in her life is very unique, which is from lost items. The secondary characters were great. From Gabe to her friend Saundra with a mother whose mental health is rapidly declining. Madison's older sister was an enjoyable character, also. Gabe and Madison's romance, which is an important part of the story, was okay in a sense, but I didn't see much of the importance of it, only little pieces. The suspense in this book, I found interesting in which we find out how she died. And once we do, I didn't really expect it at all as it was very shocking and all the while surprising. The ending was anticlimatic in a way, especially with all the tension building up in one of her memories. I'm not exactly sure if I'm disappointed in this or think it's fine. It certainly depends. Everafter is a book that is certainly different. And I look forward to reading more from this author.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    When I first read the book blurb I wavered over whether this was a book I wanted to read or not. I finally decided I had to know what happened to Madison and what would she discover in this “Is”. At the beginning of the book Madison “wakes” not knowing who she is or where she is but she does know she’s dead. In this "Is" Madison has no body, she is just a being that can move through this space she occupies. As she explores she comes across what seem like random objects. As she figures out how to trigger each object she begins to realize they are all objects she has lost at some point in life and they can take her back to that point in her life.The style in which the story is written is certainly unique. For the most part each chapter takes you back to a point in time where Madison lost one of her belongings. As you begin to put together the bits and pieces of her life you slowly get to know her, her boyfriend, Gabe, and her best friend, Sandra. At first it was a little jarring as you would jump from Madison at 16 years old to Madison at 2 years old but it all starts coming together in a way that will grab the reader and not let you go and will eventually lead you to how Madison died.The main reason I give this only a 3 is while it's an interesting concept and it grabbed me by the end I was thinking to myself "that's it?". Somehow the ending was very anti-climatic for me. It wraps up too abruptly and after harping about how attached Madison is to objects I don't see the journey that teaches her to let go.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    When 17-year-old Madison wakes up, she knows she’s dead. She’s in an unfamiliar world of nothingness that’s punctuated by the ghostly appearance of objects that appear to be things she lost back when she was alive. Madison realizes that the objects can take her back to when she lost the objects, when she can relive those scenes or even change the way things turned out. The more Madison revisits her past and figures out what she’s capable of here in the Afterlife, the closer she gets to the truth of her death, which she is sure involves her beloved boyfriend, Gabe.THE EVERAFTER is a truly original take on life after death, but it doesn’t quite live up to its high potential, with underdeveloped characters, a complex but slow-moving plot, and an anticlimactic ending.In one sense, a work of fiction is only as good as the sum of its parts, and readers only know of the characters what is essential. THE EVERAFTER takes this literally, as the character of Madison is shown to us readers via a series of seemingly random scenes from her life, some of which have more significance than others. It’s a different way of approaching telling a story, and it may or may not work for you. For me, it didn’t really help me better understand Maddy, which was disappointing.The concept presented in THE EVERAFTER is very unique, but I’m always cautious about exciting-sounding ideas with mediocre execution, which is what this book turned out to be for me. Gabe and Maddy’s romance, which is supposed to be an important part of the story, felt underdeveloped and unfamiliar to me, and I never really connected with any of the characters, nor believed in the ending, which was shocking, but not necessarily in a good way.Still, fans of Gabrielle Zevin’s ELSEWHERE and Alice Sebold’s THE LOVELY BONES may find this book interesting and hard to put down.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book had a recommendation from Gabrielle Zevin on the cover which made me have to pick it up and read the back to see what it was about. I am glad I did. What a completely different take on the afterlife (compared with Elsewhere). The narration on the audiobook was really good (although the baby chapter was a bit hard to listen to). Basically, the idea was that when you lose your life you go to this place that Maddy calls "is." It is blackness, but in this blackness are the things we lose throughout our life. Using these things, Maddy visits her memories or rather her life and can change her life in the form of a ghost. As a reader, you are along for the ride. She does not know how she dies, and either do we. It really is a mystery that is wonderful as all the pieces fit together. A small book that is worth the read, especially for those of us that like to contemplate afterlife.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a fascinating novel about a 17 year old girl who has died, and is re-experiencing scenes from her life as she lingers in The Everafter. She finds herself surrounded by various objects that she has lost and she learns to use them to go back and find out what has happened to her. Haunting and beautifully written.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Every once in a while, you find a book that changes part of you. That sticks with you long after you read it. That was The Everafter for me. I found myself so emotionally invested in this story. It's starts with Madison. Madison knows she is dead, but doesn't know how. She is in this unknown place she starts calling "Is". She soon discovers "Is" is filled with items, lost items from her life. She can use these things to go back to the moments in her life where she lost them. It was an emotional roller-coaster ride going through these moments in Madison's life. I love how Huntley wrote it to where the reader is discovering everything the same time that Madison is rediscovering it. It doesn't take long to see how important Gabe was in Madison's life. I loved the memories that included Gabe. He was such a sweet boyfriend. This book just showed how the little, insignificant moments build up into shaping the person you are. This is a book about death, but I didn't find it depressing. I found it profounding and it made me stop and think about what may lie in store for us in the afterlife. The ending was poetically done. I cried during the epilogue. I think it was the perfect epilogue that gave me the closure I needed.It is rare for me to find something so different and unique than the norm in the YA world. This was a truly beautiful story. Huntley is a fantastic writer. What an awesome debut for her. I can't wait to see what else she will come out with. So if you haven't read this epic tale yet, put it on the top of your pile now!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Summary:The only thing Madison Stanton knows is that she’s dead and in a dark nothingness she has named 'Is'. After being confronted with a sweatshirt and other items in 'Is', Madison realizes that these items are from her past and reliving her memories of them might just lead her to answers about her past and how she died.Use and appropriateness in a HS classroom: While many young adult novels seem to steer fairly clear of the topic of death, 'The Everafter' collides with it, creating an emotional roller coaster that makes the reader feel as if they are personally involved in the story. This is a very accessible and compelling novel that any lover of reading, or reading-shy teen (especially teenage girls) would want to read from cover-to-cover as fast as possible. The Everafter is very appropriate for teens because it confronts the topic of personal loss and the choices and sacrifices everybody makes in day-to-day life, as well as the outcomes of those choices. This is a unique topic that hasn’t been overly explored in the YAL market and the way it is used in the book is perfect and will encourage students to rethink the little things in life that can make a big difference.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I really enjoyed this book. To be honest, I expected it to be more about the supernatural stuff, though. Not that I was disappointed - I thought the entire story was very intriguing. Not many young adult authors create a story about experiencing what happens after death. Interesting theory, too, that after death, one would end up in a dark void with a chance to go back and change their life through lost ghost objects. I also really like the ending. Personally, it really bothers me when the author leaves their readers hanging and there won't be a sequel, but that was not the case with The Everafter - almost nothing went unanswered. Not only that, but I like the way the ending plays out, what happens. It's a story well worth reading, one that makes you think about one of life's greatest mysteries and all the little things in life that may seem insignificant, but actually matter a great deal. I know this is shallow, but I love the cover, too. :)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Madison is dead and surrounded in space by glowing objects - objects that she lost during her lifetime that can take her back to the scene where (and when) she lost them. Will they eventually lead her to understanding the cause of her death and the meaning of her life?When I first read the summary for this one, I knew I had to read it. I loved the premise, but couldn't fathom how Author Huntley could actually make it work. But oh does she! The structure she has set up of Madison being able to "jump" to certain moments of her life gives us ample opportunity to really get to know Madison and the people that are central to telling her story - her sister, her best friend Sandra who is terrorized by her unstable mother, her boyfriend Gabe (and his ex-girlfriend Dana), and a former friend Tammy. Madison visits seemingly random scenes from her life, but they all fit together like a puzzle to help her (and us) solve the mystery of her death - leading to a surprising and bittersweet ending that really packs a punch.What I probably liked best about the novel was the philosophical subtext. Huntley has some very intriguing ideas about the coexistance of life and death - a scene from Madison's childhood where she and her friends play with a ouijia board is especially spooky in this context. I also appreciated the inclusion of a few Emily Dickenson's poems and discussion thereof. It definitely made me want to dig out my volumes of her poetry again.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Loss, death, life, searching, and a little poetry. The Everafter is a compelling tale about a girl that is suddenly in "Is" without a body. She can't remember anything, but in this space before her she recognizes objects she has lost throughout her lifetime. Using them to revist her life, she goes on a journey through her afterlife to try to reconnect to herself and figure out what happened to her. The story is told in a really unique style, though there are plenty of aspects that remain a mystery. The story of Madison is beautiful and realistic, heartbreaking even. When she felt lonliness, I felt it, too. While it was a short novel, I don't think it needed any more length. The character development was there because the connections between the main characters and the others were so strong that that was all that was needed. I really didn't see the end coming, but as tragic as it was it was sweet in its own way.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What a weird, melancholy, thoughtful, hopeful little book. I don't want to go much into what the book is about. You can read the plot summary as well as I could, and I think to know more would fundamentally change the reading experience. Part of what I think makes this book really work is that the reader is having the same experiences, almost exactly, as Maddie. We know as much as she knows at the start, which is almost nothing. Everything she figures out is new information for everyone.I've read a few reviews of this book on GoodReads, and I'm kind of stumped about why so many people find this book depressing. I mean, it's sad. Sure. Tragic, even. Reading a story narrated by a dead girl. But death is a thing. We will all have to deal with it eventually. It's the only thing that everyone living has in common, and Amy Huntley has managed to write a story that encourages the reader to look at it dispassionately. We're not wallowing in the sadness of Maddie's death with this book. We're learning about the importance of her life. I find that inherently hopeful, even though the story is sometimes sad. It's a quirky book. Not for everyone, but there's some beauty here. Chalk up another success for Project TBR!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    There is so much to like about this poignant little novel about life, death, loss, and love. It had hooked me from the first sentence and swept me along until I found myself at the end in one sitting. I have a passive interest in theoretical physics, and so I especially enjoyed the quantum theory that was woven into the story. Okay, so maybe most high school chemistry teachers aren't going to launch into a lecture on wave-particle duality, but I still ate it up.

    This is one of the best novels I have read in recent memory. It makes me want to better myself, live life to the fullest, and remember that even if I have regrets, each one of them have shaped me into who I am today.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    In life Madison Stanton has an obsessive attachment to items. In death, she finds objects that solicit memories of life and the thoughts, feelings of the people, vividly transport her back as though she were still in the occurrence.Aware she has passed over, she simply is not sure what the afterlife holds. In a domino like progression, she finds that if she attempts to change the outcome of the original occurrence, a new different path is presented.Seeking for answers, she longs to know how she died. She finds vague memories, but not enough details to know the outcome.Finally, at the end of the book she is visited by her boyfriend and learns the sad items that triggered her ending.Now, she has a new beginning in the Everafter.In reading reviews, I think others liked this book more than I did. While the premise is original, I thought there was a lack of substance.

Book preview

The Everafter - Amy Huntley

is

I’M DEAD.

Not my-parents-told-me-to-be-home-by-twelve-and-it’s-two-o’clock-now dead. Just dead. Literally.

I think.

I can’t feel a body anymore. No hunger—not even a stomach. No fingers to wiggle, no feet to tap.

So I pretty much have to assume that I’m…gone?

No. I can’t be gone because I’m here.

I won’t say that I’ve passed on or passed away. I don’t remember passing anything on the way here. For that matter, I don’t remember dying, either. There’s some saying about people dying of curiosity. But I’m just curious about how I died.

Curious and…frightened. This place—wherever it is—surrounds me with vibrations. It just…Is.

Loneliness and mystery hum through me. I feel like I just woke up in a dark room that has no clock. And even worse: no people. Where is everyone I knew when I was alive? Who are they, and do they miss me? What if I’m in hell? Maybe instead of fire and brimstone, hell is just the feeling of loneliness. I don’t remember much about being alive. I don’t even remember my name. But loneliness being hell? That much I remember.

Ahead I see a bright pinprick of light. It seems my only chance for company. The prospect of reaching that light has replaced the throbbing ache of loneliness with a quivering hope.

I attempt to move toward the light, but the space that is…Is…cloaks me in thick, clinging darkness. It sticks to me like a disgustingly damp pair of jeans two sizes too small. I fight it out with Is, pushing against its boundaries, discovering I can get the bubble around me to expand if I try hard enough. But just as my space begins to grow, a cloud of loneliness surrounds me. I discover there’s a reason the dead are stuffed into cozy coffins and small urns. This large empty space I’ve created makes me feel even more isolated.

I stop pushing against the boundaries of Is, and it shrinks into a small bubble again. All the energy that is me beats comfortably against the boundaries. Now that I am dead, I guess I have a soulbeat instead of a heartbeat.

Maybe some time passes. Maybe it doesn’t. Hard to tell in this place. But one way or the other, I discover the problem with small, safe places.

They’re boring.

I can’t decide if my curiosity or my fear is the stronger emotion. And I don’t quite understand how I can be feeling both if I’m dead. They chase each other around, circulating and percolating in me. Haunting me.

How is that possible? I mean, if I’m the one who’s dead, how can something be haunting me? I’m supposed to be the one doing the haunting.

Finally, curiosity chases fear to the perimeter. It’s time to explore.

Not that there’s much to investigate. Just that bright pinprick of light.

I push against Is and expand the bubble of my space again. This time I discover I can intensify my soulbeat until it fills the bubble’s space with energy. I ride the pulse of my soulbeat into the ever-expanding bubble as I approach the light.

It is a ring glowing in the dark. It shines against the midnight black of space like an X-ray. An image of a bracelet. What is it doing here?

As I get closer to the bracelet, I find myself floating right through the glowing circle of light. Photons scatter everywhere. I feel less lonely somehow with all this light swirling around me.

And because I can see now that there are more pinpricks of light.

They are little stars amid my dark existence, scattered across space at great distances. A spoon. A pair of socks, hair clips, pieces of paper, peas, a cell phone, keys, flowers, a handbag, a doll’s shoe. More and more. They are artifacts of a life.

Mine?

I don’t know why, but they seem to link me to all the people I sense I should be with.

I find still more: beads, photographs, a ring, a baby’s rattle, and—how odd—a pair of underwear.

All these images are company at last.

But I need them to be closer together so I can spend time with all of them at once. Is there a way to click and drag them onto a desktop-sized space?

No. Apparently Is hasn’t picked up on the whole wireless concept yet, and I will have to go to the ends of the Universe to find all my companions. I’d better start now if—

My trip has already come to an abrupt halt. I’ve hit the next object. It’s a sweatshirt, and I can’t bear the idea of moving on and leaving it behind.

I know it should make me feel warm, but its stark white glow fills me with longing. A sense of missing something—more intense than any feeling I’ve yet had—pounds through me. And suddenly I know I wasn’t meant to be here alone. I know I expected to find Gabriel waiting for me.

But who is Gabriel?

the sweatshirt

I’M NOT SURE WHY this sweatshirt fascinates me so much. Maybe it’s the missing smell. I sense that the most important thing about this sweatshirt is supposed to be its scent, but there aren’t any smells in Is. I want to put the sweatshirt on, but I’ve got no body here in Is, either.

I try to remember what it felt like to have a body, and I imagine myself pulling warm fabric over my head….

And then suddenly everything changes. Knowledge—not just some strange half memory—rips through me, scattering me across space and darkness, through nothingness and shadow. I am propelled toward harsh light. The sound of voices swells as I come closer and closer to them. Metal chairs scrape across linoleum, adding an unharmonious musical accompaniment to the voices. Flickering specks of me hover, dancing in the air, and then unite into something not quite solid yet more substantial than I have been. I have a misty almost-form.

I’m back in the world.

In a classroom. An art classroom. I recognize myself, standing at a sink a few feet away. I’m trying to get red paint off my hands. I remember this moment—junior year, second-hour art class. A sense of joy at being back in the real world courses like blood through my almost-being, but it’s strangely mixed with anger: I know that I’m about to discover that the sweatshirt is missing.

And then I know so much more. Suddenly I’m drowning in memories that take on half shapes. They fill me with panic as I founder around in them.

I know my name: Madison Stanton. I remember my mother, her deep red hair; my father, tall and playful, with a baritone that rumbles comfortingly; my house and its smell of eucalyptus; school; teachers; my best friend, Sandra; my older sister, Kristen; my pet cat, Cozy; and—oh, God—Gabriel. Gabriel whose sweatshirt I am about to lose. All these memories threaten to pull me under a tide of grief and loss.

It is the sound of my own laughter that acts as a life jacket. I float up out of the memories to focus on this moment, on myself standing at that sink. I’m laughing with Sandra. I can’t remember what about, though. I’m tempted to move closer.

But first I need to go rescue the sweatshirt. It’s about to be stolen. And I know by whom. I left it on the back of a chair—so I wouldn’t get paint on it—over on the other side of the partition that divides the room. If I can get to the sweatshirt before Dana does, maybe I can keep her from stealing it.

I try to move toward the partition but have trouble figuring out how to do it. I don’t quite have a body, so the physics of movement as I’m used to it on Earth just isn’t happening. But I’m also not merely a collection of light particles the way I’ve gotten used to being back in Is. Great. How many different states of existence can there be?

I have to figure out how to use some bizarre combination of floating and running to move. Just as I reach the partition, though, I bounce backward. Rubber-band style. The elastic that holds me to my real self over at the sink has stretched too thin. I go shooting backward almost all the way to the real me over at the sink, who’s still busy laughing. What’s the matter with her? Or should I say me? How am I supposed to refer to the living, breathing Maddy Stanton? Her seems so not me. And yet, she’s not me. She doesn’t even seem to sense that I’m here. And how am I supposed to let her know she’s being clueless about what Dana’s doing on the other side of the wall?

I try again to reach Dana, to stop her from stealing the sweatshirt. No luck. The living Maddy pulls me up short once again, only this time I get too close to her. She exerts some kind of magnetic pull on me. And then instantly I become her.

age 17

The water suddenly gets too hot on my hands. Aiya! I shriek, reaching to adjust the temperature.

Sandra turns the water off. Ever the conservationist. You’re not Lady Macbeth trying to wash bloody sins off your hands, you know.

So Sandra. Thirty seconds ago, we were laughing about the way her calc teacher got a piece of toilet paper stuck in the waist of her skirt, then came to class and taught half the hour without ever realizing it was there. Now Sandra’s making obscure references to Shakespearean tragedies.

She hands me the roll of paper towels sitting on the counter, flicking water in my face at the same time. Thanks, I say, rolling my eyes.

Sorry, she says, grinning.

We head back over to the table where we’ve left all our stuff. Time to put Gabe’s sweatshirt back on. It smells wonderful. Totally him. I’ve had it for two days. He left it at my house on Sunday, and I’ve been making good use of it ever since. Yesterday he asked for it back. Uh-unh. No way. He’s not getting it back until it’s so dirty it absolutely has to be washed. No use keeping it after it’s lost the essential Essence of Gabriel.

It’s been a good few days. I’m thinking about raiding Gabe’s dirty laundry when I have to give this sweatshirt back.

But when Sandra and I return to the table, the sweatshirt isn’t there. My book bag is still sitting on the seat of the chair—exactly where I left it. The sweatshirt should be on the back of the same chair. I glance quickly at the other chairs around the table, but it’s not sitting on the back of any of them, either.

What’s wrong? Sandra asks as I start doing a weird version of Duck Duck Goose with all the chairs, sliding each out and checking to see if the sweatshirt has somehow migrated onto its seat.

Gabe’s sweatshirt is missing, I tell her. I’m not holding out a lot of hope that she’s going to sympathize with the true extent of this tragedy. She’s been teasing me for the past two days about how my obsession with the sweatshirt is my subconscious attempt to have sex with Gabe.

It can’t be missing, she says matter-of-factly. It was on the back of the chair when we went to wash our hands.

I’m cursing myself. I took off the sweatshirt so I wouldn’t get paint on it. What’s a little paint, though, when the alternative is no sweatshirt at all? I’ve moved on to playing Duck Duck Goose with the other tables.

No sweatshirt.

There’s only one explanation for what could have happened to it. Dana.

Suddenly I’m so angry that I’m afraid I might turn into Lady Macbeth with some bloody sins to wash off my hands after all.

Sandra sees how upset I am. She grabs me by the arm. Hey, Maddy, it’ll turn up.

Dana took it. I’m sure she did. I don’t know whether to be mad that she’s trying to mess with me and Gabe, or creeped out by what she might be planning to do with it.

What do you mean, ‘do with it’? What can she do with it?

I notice that Sandra isn’t trying to reassure me that Dana hasn’t taken it.

What if she’s going to sleep in it or something?!

You mean like you do?

Such. A. Cheap. Shot. "He’s my boyfriend, I say defensively. I can’t even begin to express how horrified I am by the idea of Gabe’s ex sleeping in his sweatshirt. She can’t get over the fact that they’ve broken up, and I’m sick of it."

Sandra starts rubbing my arm. Hey, calm down. She’s not going to sleep in it. She’s over Gabe.

Hardly. She’s been a major pain ever since he dumped her and started dating me.

Sandra has known me since we were five. She can see what I’m thinking. That’s why it’s worth having a best friend. Saves on words. Seriously, she tells me, "this thing between the two of you, it’s about you and her, not about Gabe. She doesn’t want him back. She just wants to mess with you. It gives her satisfaction to make you miserable because you made her miserable when you started dating him."

I give her my best skeptical look.

She steps back, flicks her brown curly hair over her shoulder. This is a sign she means serious business. The hands even go on her hips. She’s got one of those fragile, thin builds (and, yes, I’ve been envious of that ever since we were about ten and the differences in our body types became clear to me), but she can generate presence when she wants to be taken seriously. Like now. What better way to upset you than to take something of Gabe’s from you? Then she gets to watch you go off.

Sandra nods her head over toward where Dana is standing with some other girls. Dana’s smirking in a way that—if I’m honest—actually scares me. How can someone have the look of a jack-o’-lantern and a model all at once? Look at her, Sandra says. She doesn’t have the sweatshirt, so she obviously hid it somewhere around here.

"But where? That means I can

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