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    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay)
    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay)
    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay)
    Ebook100 pages50 minutes

    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay)

    By Dan Gutman and Mike Dietz

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    About this ebook

    Funny Boy faces his biggest threat yet—a plaque attack!
    Funny Boy’s super-powered sense of humor has saved the world from airsick aliens, bubble-brained barbers, and a chain of chitchatting cheeses. It’s even won him the love of his life: Tupper Camembert. But this riddle-flinging superhero’s work is far from over. When the president of the United States is summoned for a cleaning with Dr. Denny the dentist, he knows something is wrong—he doesn’t even have an appointment! This is a job for Funny Boy, who must once again use every joke in his arsenal to destroy the evil dentist villain and his hygienist henchmen. But does Funny Boy know enough dentist jokes to save the planet from an invasion of plaque? This ebook features an illustrated biography of Dan Gutman including rare images from the author’s personal collection.

    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay) is the 4th book in Funny Boy, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherOpen Road Media
    Release dateDec 4, 2012
    ISBN9781453261156
    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay)
    Author

    Dan Gutman

    Dan Gutman is the New York Times bestselling author of the Genius Files series; the Baseball Card Adventure series, which has sold more than 1.5 million copies around the world; and the My Weird School series, which has sold more than 35 million copies. Thanks to his many fans who voted in their classrooms, Dan has received nineteen state book awards and ninety-two state book award nominations. He lives in New York City with his wife. You can visit him online at dangutman.com.

    Read more from Dan Gutman

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    • 5/5
      Wow when it said funny boy it really meant. FUNNY. I loved all his jokes he gave me a few to tell to my family! I can’t wait to read the next funny boy book!!!

    Book preview

    Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay) - Dan Gutman

    CHAPTER 1

    tooth

    THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK. THAT’S WHY IT’S NUMBER 1. IT PROBABLY THINKS IT’S THE BEST CHAPTER, AND GOES AROUND TELLING ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS HOW GOOD IT IS. ARROGANT JERK!

    Perhaps I should introduce myself.

    Self, I would like you to meet Funny Boy.

    Oh, wait. Sorry! Maybe instead of introducing myself to myself (which serves no purpose at all) I should introduce myself to you. That would make much more sense.

    FunnyBoy04_p008.tif

    I, Funny Boy, was born on the planet Crouton, which is about the size of Uranus. The planet, that is. Crouton is shaped like a loaf of bread. In fact, my home planet is made of bread, and is quite tasty when toasted, with a little butter and strawberry jam. Yum!

    Crouton is 160,000 million light years away in the Magellanic Cloud Galaxy. How far is that? It’s so far away that we don’t even have a McDonald’s on the whole planet. That’s far!

    Thank God for Taco Bell!

    In case you’re wondering (or even if you’re not) I am nine years old, or 3,287 in Croutonian years. You see, Crouton makes one revolution around the sun every day. My planet spins so fast, the centrifugal force makes it almost impossible to keep anything on a table, which always makes mealtime an adventure. Every time you put a plate on the table, it goes flying off and hits the ceiling. So does the table, for that matter. But we solved that problem. We eat on the ceiling.

    But I digress, whatever that means.

    When I was a little boy, I made the tragic mistake of shooting a spitball at my brother Bronk. Instead of grounding me, my parents did the opposite—they put me in a rocket ship and sent me to Earth. I considered this a bit of an overreaction, but what do I know about parenting skills?

    Fortunately, my parents put my dog Punchline in the rocket with me and aimed it toward the Milky Way, even though I personally prefer Snickers. When Punch and I entered the Earth’s atmosphere, we were amazed to discover that Punch could not only talk, but could also sing all the songs from the classic Broadway show West Side Story.

    Even more remarkable, my sense of humor, which was already highly developed on Crouton, had become enhanced to the point that it was now a superpower. On Earth, I could effortlessly come up with an endless series of jokes, puns, riddles and one-liners. Like this one . . .

    Q: What did one eye say to the other?

    A: Between you and me, something smells.

    Something about Earth’s atmosphere had made me hilarious.

    FunnyBoy04_p011.tif

    STOP! TURN BACK! IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO DITCH THIS AND READ THAT BOOK THAT WON THE NEWBERY AWARD.

    My spaceship crash-landed near San Antonio, Texas, just as Punch was singing I Feel Pretty. In an amazing stroke of luck, we smashed through the roof of an underwear factory. Tons of Fruit of the Looms cushioned our fall and enabled Punch and me to survive the impact. We also received free underwear for life.

    Or I did, anyway. Punch prefers to parade around underwearless. She is, after all, a dog. On Crouton as on Earth, dogs do not wear underwear. But they do wear wristwatches. Why would a dog wear a wristwatch, you ask?

    To tell time, of course!

    When Punch and I landed in the underwear factory, we were discovered by a kindly underwear inspector named Bob Foster who became my foster father, whether he wanted to or not. He took us home against his will, and we became one big happy family, except for Bob, who wishes we would leave already.

    Earth had been very, very good to me, and I wanted to do something to help my adopted planet. But what could I do? I had nothing except the clothes on

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