How to be a Man Magnet: Secrets to Attracting the Men of Your Dreams

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1. BE A MAN MAGNET IN THE MAKING

Get in the driver’s seat of your dating life

Remember that awkward first date with Mr. Nothing in Common? And how about the Nice, but no dice guy who wasn’t quite worth the makeup and blow-dry?

Then boom! Along comes someone you’re finally into, but you’re left wondering if you’ll hear back from him for date #2. It’s exhausting!

I get it. I’ve been there. Many times.

Dating can be tough! But the reality is, it doesn’t have to be.

Ever notice you enjoy things you’re good at? Well, I’m going to help you get good at dating. Man Magnet good. This is not to suggest you go out and become a serial dater. Who has time for that? The goal is to get to a place where you can actually begin to enjoy the process of dating.

By learning some simple but effective tricks of the trade, you’ll not only have your choice of men, you may even wonder why you were so concerned about settling down in the first place!

Remember this, ladies:

Happily ever after doesn’t start when you get married. It starts when you enjoy being who you are, single or not. The key is learning to love yourself before you combine your fabulous life with that of your future partner.

Plus, you have to be ready to attract someone worthy of you. And you’re about to learn how to do it with ease!

After all, nothing is more unattractive than a woman who lacks confidence in herself ― and her dating life. Insecurity is unsexy. Neediness is not becoming. If you’re up late at night wondering why your prince hasn’t come along yet, the truth is, you need to focus on what you may be doing wrong.

What, you ask? It all starts with how you think. Your mind might be long overdue for a dating tune-up. Relax, it’s not as complicated as it sounds.

To find out what thoughts might be holding you back and take your first step toward becoming a Man Magnet, try this easy exercise:

Circle any of these statements you agree with:

Certain guys are out of my league.

A good-looking guy can get any girl he wants.

Men just try to sleep with me and don’t care about what’s on the inside.

I’ll never like the good guys.

I can’t find a guy that knows me like my ex did.

As soon as I open up he runs scared.

I can’t find a guy that lives up to my checklist.

I’m not a model so I don’t have top choice in men.

Men don’t seem to understand me.

I’ll just have to settle for whoever picks me.

I try so hard to please men I date.

If he’s good on paper he’s good enough for me.

Love is always enough.

I’m over 30 and single so I’m not as desirable to men.

I never meet men.

I don’t go to bars anymore so I’ll never meet anyone.

Guys always talk to my friends before me.

I’m not getting any younger so I don’t want to waste time.

My friends are all settling down so I better hurry and find someone.

What if I told you that you wouldn’t agree with even one of these statements once you’ve read this book? It’s true. You’ll become more confident, see things for how they really could and will be, and wonder why you thought that way in the first place.

This isn’t to say you’ll become a badass bitch on wheels. Quite the contrary.

It’s a fact. Guys first seek out women they’re attracted to, but they chase and marry the confident, cool chicks. And those cool girls are not hopeless with hang-ups.

So let’s get down to business and knock out the negative thoughts one by one!

Take a look at which of the above statements worry you. Now write them down. Don’t be embarrassed, ladies. You don’t have to show the list to anyone. It’s our little secret.

Now think about how you’d feel if your gorgeous, intelligent, social friend, who gets any guy she wants, complained about these things to you. Would it seem a little ridiculous? How could SHE doubt herself? Wouldn’t you reassure her that she’s just overreacting?

It’s time to reassure yourself, as if you were your gorgeous, intelligent friend. Think about how senseless and hopeless these limiting thoughts sound. Then cross them out one by one. You have no use for them anymore.

Great! Now let go of these silly excuses and permanently erase them from your thinking if you can. (Like those sci-fi mind erasers!) Because after you finish reading this book, you’ll be the one who gets all the guys and positive thoughts like these will replace your old mental roadblocks:

There are great men everywhere.

I have my choice in men.

I’m the full package and any man would be lucky to capture my attention.

I connect with many men, but I know what I want in a life partnership.

I can spot red flags right away and don’t waste my time with these men.

I know Mr. Right from Mr. Right Now.

When a guy happens to talk to my friend instead of me, it doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m happy for her and will talk to the one that’s right for me.

Some of my friends have settled down and when my turn comes, I’ll be ready. I’ll enjoy my freedom now, living my life to the fullest until I choose my partner in crime.

I dress to impress and take care of my body so I look and feel my best in any situation though I’m not trying to compete with models.

Dating can be fun even when he’s not the one.

I have a life outside my dating life.

When a relationship ends, it’s not the end of my love life. It’s called a break up because it’s broken.

A great relationship won’t always lead to marriage. Many other factors are key, including timing.

Now add three of your own new positive statements below to replace the negative ones above. It’s okay if you’re not ready yet. When you finish this book you’ll have way more than three and will have experienced them first hand!

Exercise: Replace three of your limiting thoughts circled above with the way you wish you could see things:

(If you’re having trouble, think about what you would say to comfort a friend in the same situation.)

1.) ___________________________________________

2.) ____________________________________________

3.) ____________________________________________

Great! Anytime you find yourself reverting back to your old, negative thoughts, put down the quart of ice cream and instead just pull out your list and mine to retrain your brain.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Here’s how it works.

When you start thinking this way, you’ll start acting this way. And that, in turn, will bring about much better results! Then your new results will reinforce these new beliefs. Bam! You’re on your way!

Your new life as a Man Magnet

As a Man Magnet, your new life will be fun! You’ll laugh more. Date more. Have more social plans.

And you certainly won’t be wasting your time on bad dates.

As a matter of fact, even dates with the wrong guy will go well. You’ll meet people everywhere you go. Men will ask you out all the time and ask their friends who you are and stew over how to track you down.

In essence, you’ll be the one in the driver’s seat. You’ll be a wanted woman!

But you won’t lead – at least not yet. (More on that later.) Whether it appears this way or not, you’re the one making the calls – even if you’re not initiating the phone calls.

It’s perfectly fine to be picky. You won’t need to worry about if he likes you or not or if he’s going to call after a date. You’ll feel confident that if you two hit it off, your phone will be lighting up the next day.

So if you’re ready to be a Man Magnet, you’ll want to complete this next assignment. But don’t worry; this homework is fun. And it’s designed to help you land your dream guy!

Exercise: Describe what your new life as a Man Magnet will be like. How will things be better? What would you like to accomplish as a result of reading this book?

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Well done! Now let’s get started!

Character traits of a Man Magnet

Confident

Makes the best of situations

Likes her body

Has a positive and optimistic yet realistic outlook on life

Is able to identify her likes and dislikes

Reads current events

Keeps her priorities in line but goes with the flow

Compassionate

Happy and fulfilled

Has a childlike curiosity

Finds the good in people

Has a willingness to open her heart

A friend and companion

Intelligent

Has goals and hobbies

Enjoys her life

Lives in the moment, learns from the past

Maintains close relationships and acquaintances

Gives of herself without expecting return favors

Does not get taken advantage of because she has boundaries

Open-minded

Fun and lighthearted

Sensual and sexy

Handles difficult situations with class and integrity

Has a sense of humor

Takes care of herself but is not selfish

Mature

Humble

Is appreciative and puts things in perspective

Is independent yet appreciates what others have to offer

Wants the best for others

Is analytical, not judgmental

Has standards

Does not waste energy, instead shifts her focus

Bounces back from breakups and life’s challenges

Is respectful and considerate and expects it in return

A constant work in progress, always trying to improve

Flirtatious & social

Networker & trendsetter

Takes downtime when she needs to recharge

Is real, can be herself

Relate to any of these characteristics so far? You’re on your way! Even learning a few of them can change your life in a big way.

Become a character you’d read about

Think about your favorite female character in a book or movie you love. (As long as it’s not porn. Those characters are only good at one thing!)

She probably has something interesting or unique about her that makes you want to know more about her life. After all, you wouldn’t read a book about some girl who sits on her couch and stares at the wall would you? Characters in books and movies have defining characteristics that help us understand who they are, how they think, and how they react to various situations.

And similarly, there are so many things that make you – you. It might be your quirkiness or your sense of humor. Or perhaps it’s your sensitivity or your knowledge on a particular topic. Or maybe you have a certain innocence or curiosity about you. Or maybe you just go nuts for boy bands. No matter what it is, embrace your character. Live it. Own it!

Keep in mind; this book isn’t about trying to get you to be something you’re not. Not everyone is meant to be the life of the party nor wants to be. It’s about becoming your best self to attract the best that life has to offer, including finding meaningful connections and everlasting love!

How good does it feel when someone notices something amazing or intriguing about you and compliments you on it? You may not have even noticed it before.

Now get ready to do something you might not have done for quite some time – or ever. Compliment yourself!

Yep. Do it! This is no time for modesty, ladies.

These are things that men may ask you about or notice about you in passing or on a date. And they’re things you portray to the world wherever you go. So let’s stay focused on the positive!

Here’s the next exercise: Give yourself 10 compliments. Real ego-boosting ones. Need a good place to start? Think of your defining characteristics, why you’re interesting and unique, or how you positively influence the world and others:

Compliment #1:

Compliment #2:

Compliment #3

Compliment #4

Compliment #5

Compliment#6

Compliment #7

Compliment #8

Compliment #9

Compliment #10

Need some help? Here are some basic examples:

I’m a good listener

I give great advice

I’m an expert in beauty products

I volunteer for charitable organizations

I’d do anything for my family

I’m a great cook

I give great massages

I find humor in almost anything

I care about other’s feelings

I’m a great dancer

I’m cute and quirky

I have a contagious laugh

I know random trivia facts

I’m great at sports

I could sell ice to an Eskimo

I’m a movie buff

I’m a fantastic friend

I’m an interesting storyteller

I have great style

I give the best restaurant recommendations

I’m close with my family

I’m adventurous

I’m successful

I’m entertaining

I’m charitable

I’m marriage material

I go nuts for boy bands

Still too modest or can’t think of anything? Call a friend or a family member and ask them to describe you. Usually they’ll provide an exaggerated version of how you see yourself. Remember, they love to brag.

Once you become comfortable with who you are and what makes you AMAZING, unique, and adorable, others will start to see it in you too! In fact, they’ll feed off your newfound positive energy and want to be around you. Guys will feel like they hit the lottery to be out with you!

Don’t forget this important Man Magnet Mantra:

The way you see yourself is the way others will see you.

Let this mantra guide your actions wherever you go. Get comfortable expressing your true self at all times. Get over trying to be what you think people want you to be. It won’t come off as authentic. You can never please everyone so you might as well start with pleasing yourself!

Let’s face it. We’re not all perfect all the time. Even those people we look up to or those who look glamorous in a movie (and even as ideal as people’s lives seem on Facebook) are not perfect at all. We just don’t see the whole picture or story. You’ve got no time for Facebook envy, ladies.

Each of us is a constant work in progress.

Here’s another exercise you can do to address things about yourself you’d like to improve on.

Think of three characteristics you’d like to change. For example, do you interpret innocent comments as personal insults? Are you impatient or insecure? Do you blame yourself when things go wrong? Do you let past experiences or hurts determine how you think current situations will pan out?

Write down three characteristics (or non rational reactions) you’d like to improve upon:

Characteristic #1:

Characteristic #2:

Characteristic #3:

Now let’s explore what we want to change. For each of these characteristics, let’s delve into why you think or respond that way.

For instance, do you interpret a man not calling you back the night you call as a lack of respect? Perhaps you respond that way because you’ve experienced a situation in the past where a guy didn’t return your call the same night and you felt uneasy about it. Did you interpret it as him not thinking or caring about you?

Maybe you wanted to figure out your schedule for the week and you were going to make time for him. You may feel that he is disrespecting your time. Or maybe you are putting out more effort than he is and feeling vulnerable about it.

Why characteristic #1

Why characteristic #2

Why characteristic #3

Now that we explored what causes you to feel a certain way that produces negative feelings within yourself and eventually outwardly to others, we can take a look at a more positive way to view and respond.

For the 3rd part of this exercise, think about how a Man Magnet would act in each of the situations you described and how you can replace this negative characteristic (or reaction).

Here’s how a Man Magnet would respond to the man who does not call her back:

Even if she is interested in a man and wants to go out with him that week, she has other things going on in her life. She also understands that he does too.

She knows that a man who is interested will call her as soon as he has the chance. If he doesn’t, then he may not find a slot in her schedule to see her that week. Sound arrogant? It’s really not. It’s reality. Embrace it.

A Man Magnet will give him a day or so to return the call and if it doesn’t come, she has her answer – even if it doesn’t come from him. She sees by his actions that she is not his top priority. He either doesn’t appreciate her worth, doesn’t feel a connection, or is not ready to date what could be the one.

There’s no need to waste energy trying to figure out what a guy was thinking. It doesn’t matter. The people that matter to her are the ones that deserve and get her energy.

Remember, a Man Magnet attracts men – she doesn’t wait for them.

She lets things evolve without pushing them. She respects herself and her time. And she understands that other people may be just as busy as she is, but even the busiest people make time for what they really want.

Now with this in mind, let’s start to bring out your inner Man Magnet. Rewrite how you’d see and handle the situations you had trouble with above, if you were a Man Magnet.

Replacement thought/action #1

Replacement thought/action #2

Replacement thought/action #3

Ever worry that if you say no to plans with a man, or don’t cut him a break, you’ll lose out on the opportunity with him or not have any other options?

Don’t do that. I’m putting up a big virtual STOP sign!

Being so eager and overly available to him doesn’t draw him any closer to you. It just gives him the opportunity to make all of his other plans and commitments first because he knows that you’ll be waiting, leaving your schedule open for him.

Wouldn’t you rather be the one he thinks of first in his week wanting to snag a spot in YOUR schedule?

I’m not saying you should play