Funny Epitaphs
()
Related to Funny Epitaphs
Related ebooks
Quaint Epitaphs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGleanings in Graveyards: A Collection of Curious Epitaphs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsScatalog: The #2 Bestseller! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Hocking Hills: 1900-1950 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCurious Epitaphs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNews of the Weird: Least Competent Criminals Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Not a Lot of People Know That Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHalloween Short Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGhosts on the Ohio: Tales of the Supernatural Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlown Away! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Book: Of the Most Useful-Useless Information Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBig Night Out: An Adventure Where You Decide the Outcome Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Fuck the World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dogs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNeed a Lift? Uber-Funny Confessions from a Rideshare Cabbie Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Haunted DeLand and the Ghosts of West Volusia County Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Watering Weeds Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dad Jokes Holiday Edition: Over 300 Punbelievable Holiday Jokes for the Best (Worst) Stocking Stuffer Around Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChromecast A Step by Step User Guide for Beginners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFairy Tales for Adults Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Drink Snake Blood in Vietnam: And 101 Other Things Every Interesting Man Should Know Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Happens When I'm Gone Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsModest Proposal Anthology: Interviews with Top Comedians Right Before Comedy Went Viral & Other Stuff Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGambling Strangest Moments Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShort Stories About A Deal with the Devil: What would you sacrifice for your dreams to become reality Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGhosts of Mississippi's Golden Triangle Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Can You Catch a Swamp Monster?: An Interactive Monster Hunt Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Ink That Never Stops Vol 1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Ghostly Tales of Cleveland Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Reviews for Funny Epitaphs
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Funny Epitaphs - Arthur Wentworth Eaton
The Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Epitaphs,
compiled by Arthur Wentworth Eaton
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Funny Epitaphs
Compiler: Arthur Wentworth Eaton
Release Date: May 3, 2013 [EBook #42634]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY EPITAPHS ***
Produced by Chris Curnow, Paul Clark and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
file was produced from images generously made available
by The Internet Archive)
Funny Epitaphs.
COLLECTED BY
Arthur Wentworth Eaton.
BOSTON:
The Mutual Book Company.
1902.
Copyright, 1885,
By H. H. Carter & Karrick.
Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs.
—Richard II, Act III, Scene ii.
Duncan is in his grave;
After life's fitful fever he sleeps well.
—Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii.
Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph.
—Robert Emmet.
Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd
So very much is said,
One half will never be believ'd
The other never read.
[Pg 4]
[Pg 5]
EPITAPHS ON MEN.
[Pg 6]
[Pg 7]
An old American epitaph:
Under this sod, and under these trees,
Lieth the body of Samuel Pease;
He is not in this hole, but only his pod,
He shelled out his soul and went up to God.
✠
Another version:
Under this sod, beneath these trees,
Lyeth the pod of Solomon Pease.
Pease is not here, but only his pod,
He shelled out his soul, which went straight to his God.
✠
Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell
A lying, thieving, cheating rascal;
He always lied, and now he lies,
He has no soul and cannot rise.
✠
An Irishman wrote the following oft-quoted lines for his epitaph:
Here I lays,
Paddy O'Blase;
My body quite at its aise is,
With the tip of my nose
And the points of my toes
Turned up to the roots of the daisies.
✠
In Ballyporen (Ire.) churchyard, on Teague O'Brian, written by himself:
Here I at length repose,
My spirit now at aise is;
With the tips of my toes
And the point of my nose
Turned up to the roots of the daisies.
✠
Here lies Richard Fothergill who met a violent death. He was shot by a colt's revolver, old kind, brass mounted, and of such is the kingdom of heaven.
✠
A Cornwall churchyard is enriched with the following dainty verses:
Here lies entombed one Roger Morton,
Whose sudden death was early