Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?
    Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?
    Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?
    Ebook319 pages4 hours

    Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?

    By Casey Maxwell Clair and Jeffrey W. Whiting

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Happily Ever After isn't working for you--but why? This surprisingly effective new approach to dating from Casey Maxwell Clair identifies the ways people keep themselves single, sometimes without even realizing it--and what they can do to find the loves of their lives.

    After ending a painful five-year affair, author Casey Maxwell Clair came to the surprising realization that being married isn't the only way potential partners make themselves unavailable. In fact, men and women can be emotionally, legally, and sexually unavailable for happy, healthy relationships in dozens of ways. Casey Clair's new book, Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?, is filled with startling revelations and indispensable advice on how to conquer this all-too-common dilemma.

    Through real-life examples and interviews you'll learn how to:

    *Identify behavioral patterns that can be obstacles to a committed relationship

    *Ask the questions that will reveal the true nature of someone's intentions

    *Eliminate the "unavailable" ones in all their many disguises

    *Identify the ways men and women sabotage their own relationships and discover a whole new approach to dating

    *Find new ways of understanding yourself that will help you to find the kind of relationship you're looking for

    Casey found her true love by following the principles presented in this book. It changed her life, and it can change yours too.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Publishers
    Release dateDec 31, 2013
    ISBN9781466861459
    Still Single: Are You Making Yourself Unavailable When You Don't Want to Be?
    Author

    Casey Maxwell Clair

    Casey Maxwell Clair has worked in the entertainment industry for over twenty years. She began her career designing major motion picture campaigns, and subsequently served as the Director of Advertising for both Warner Bros. and ABC Motion Pictures, as well as the Vice President of Advertising and Promotions for CBS Television Network. A successful comedy writer and television producer for the last decade, Clair lives in Los Angeles with her fiancé, producer and screenwriter Christopher Beaumont. She has two grown daughters.

    Related to Still Single

    Related ebooks

    Relationships For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Femme Fatale

      Oct 12, 2018

      Femme Fatale
      3 min read

    • Article

      6 quick CONFIDENCE boosters

      Sep 13, 2018

      6 quick CONFIDENCE boosters
      4 min read

    • Article

      Career WHAT’S NEW

      Feb 9, 2020

      Career WHAT’S NEW
      1 min read

    • Article

      Is Being A B***h Really So Bad?

      Feb 23, 2021

      A 19-year-old relationship guidebook that urges women to be ‘bitches’ has become a bestseller, after going viral among young women on the social media app TikTok. Why Men Love Bitches advises women to transform themselves ‘from doormat to dream girl

      1 min read

    • Article

      Time To Feel, Heal And Grow

      Aug 11, 2020

      WE HAVE LEARNED a lot about our relationships during lockdown, both with our loved ones and ourselves. I have had highs and lows in equal measure, but now that some normality has returned, I have started to realise that the enforced pause was good fo

      1 min read

    • Article

      Be The Best At Breaking Up

      Jan 13, 2020

      Be The Best At Breaking Up
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Art Of Love And Money

      Aug 8, 2017

      Words LIZ MCLARDY Money seems more likely to infect our relationships with fights, fears and shame than to spark joy. But money shouldn’t be the greatest cause for breakups and marriage breakdowns. How you choose to approach your co-financial life ca

      7 min read

    • Article

      Girl Talk

      Jan 24, 2020

      Girl Talk
      1 min read

    • Article

      3 Ways To Build Sexual Confidence

      Nov 3, 2020

      Recall three recent times you’ve felt positive about your bedroom body. What were you saying to yourself? Repeat those words over and over as you make love. Ask your partner to tell you three occasions he’s adored being intimate with you. Ask what h

      1 min read

    • Article

      Headcase

      Apr 19, 2021

      Headcase
      2 min read

    • Article

      I Charge For Cuddles

      Jun 13, 2019

      I Charge For Cuddles
      3 min read

    • Article

      Kate Baer Poet Author Mother

      Jun 2, 2022

      Kate Baer Poet Author Mother
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Incurable Optimist

      Sep 11, 2019

      The Incurable Optimist
      8 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Still Single

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Still Single - Casey Maxwell Clair

      PART I

      Who’s Unavailable?

      IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM

      They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

      —ANDY WARHOL

      When you’re convinced there’s nothing you want more in this world than to be in a wonderful, loving relationship, it’s almost impossible to believe that you could be the one who’s stopping you. But, all too often, it’s true.

      As I mentioned in my introduction, the episode that forced me to look at my life and reassess the way I approached relationships, was a shameful affair with a married man. The whole time I was having the affair, I told myself that we were star-crossed lovers, just unlucky to have met at the wrong time. (Not very original, but neither, in the end, is infidelity. It’s called cheating for a reason; we cheat ourselves as well as the other person.) Now I know that I chose David because there was no chance of ever being in a relationship with him. Not only was he married, he was also incredibly wrong for me. I wonder what on earth I would have done if he had actually left his wife and we had gotten together. Our values were different. Our interests were different. So, what was the attraction? I came to realize that, by picking David, I was fulfilling a subconscious desire not to be in a loving relationship. That was our unspoken agreement. He wouldn’t leave his wife and I wouldn’t leave him, because then I would be available for a real relationship. Just as he chose me because he was unable to have a real, complete relationship with his wife, I chose him in order to avoid a real relationship with an available man. As I said, we cheat ourselves as much as we cheat on another person.

      In the case of David and me, our pathologies fit perfectly for a very long time. We were both unavailable and unaware that we wanted to be. To this day I don’t know what David’s true agenda was and, I suspect, neither does he. If we had ever had those types of conversations, then we would have had the beginnings of a real relationship, wouldn’t we? And we certainly couldn’t have that. I only found the strength to dig deep and discover my own motivation after my heartache and shame sent me in search of the self-destructive patterns in my life. David certainly wasn’t my first unavailable relationship, only the most obvious and painful one. After my seventeen-year marriage to a man who repeatedly cheated on me, I couldn’t believe that I had managed to become involved in a similar type of triangle.

      It took a long time to even see my patterns. I had dated such different types of men, or so I thought. The more diverse your dating history is, the harder it is to identify a pattern. The truth is, you don’t need to be aware of the dynamics for the agreement to work—but it demands your awareness to make a change.

      Step One in determining whether you are unavailable or not is to take an inventory of your own history. (There will be much talk of lists and inventories in this book. They can be tough at times, but they can also be incredibly useful in that they force you to think, write, and focus on the true nature of your patterns.) Think about this; if your relationships include a year with a workaholic who never had time for you, another year with someone who lived clear across the country, and an additional year with a person who was waiting for his children to grow up, you would’ve spent three years not getting what you want—unless what you want is to stay single!

      Remember, I’m not talking about dating for fun. If that’s what you’re doing, then, by all means, date all kinds of different people and enjoy the ride. But you may not find intimacy. What I’m talking about in this book is the search for a healthy and meaningful relationship. Not that that shouldn’t be fun, but along with the fun comes the responsibility of awareness.

      In the following pages I will try to profile some types you should watch out for. Keep in mind, like most rules or guidelines, there are always exceptions. These are intended to be signposts that inspire new insights into your

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1