The Ultimate Men's Retirement Guide to Mental, Financial, Physical and Sexual Health (& Fun)

I’m never retiring. Everyone I knew who did died within a year.

As I approached and passed 65, these words from a neighbor raised the question of whether to retire at all. Answering yes based on less work and more play only raised more questions:

How will I pay for retirement?

Will I run out of money before I die?

How do I figure out how much money is enough?

How should my money be invested to make it last while minimizing taxes?

What about spending the house to make ends meet?

Is it better to start Social Security at 66 or wait until 70?

How do I figure out Medicare, Medigap and that drug doughnut hole?

What will I do to fill all those hours now spent working, without driving my wife crazy?

How can I stay healthy in retirement?

How can I lose some of those pounds gained over the years?

How can I keep the pounds off without starving?

Can I control my cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar without drugs?

Can exercise and weight training prevent me from becoming frail?

What about sex?

Is sex, good sex, even better sex, still possible as the years go by?

How can I make the rest of my life less stressful, more peaceful?

What end of life plans should I make now?

If you are asking yourself these questions, this is the book for you. Based on my own extensive research in answering them, using my training and experience as both an engineer and a lawyer, I’ve come to real world conclusions that can answer these fears/concerns/questions. I was looking for one book that addressed all my concerns without all that research but could not find one. The more research I compiled, the more guys a little younger than me asked if they could borrow it. I realized they wanted a one-stop solution to retirement planning. So I wrote this book to help them avoid all the work I’d put into putting this guide together.

With that in mind, I made it easy to find things in this book. It is divided into broad Steps relating to mental preparation, money, health, sex, Social Security/Medicare and end game planning. Each Step is broken into Chapters and some Chapters into subchapters so you can pinpoint what you are looking for. Look in the Table of Contents for what you want and just touch the screen or click on it (for a PC, you may have to use ctrl + click) to go right there. A glossary of terms at the back explains terms used in the book and identifies the Chapters where they are used.

To help you focus on the issues depending on how close you are to retirement, there are Countdown Checklists, also with reference to the Chapters for items in the Checklists.

To help you get financially fit for retirement, there are work sheets for Net Worth in a format I devised to see at a glance asset allocation, tax impact and order of asset drawdown.

For physical health there is a Slo-Mo Substitution weight loss program I devised that works without starving (I dropped 30 pounds and kept it off) and a realistic exercise program.

In short, this is your training guide to a happy, healthy, active, sexually satisfied and financially secure retirement. I say training because you should not wait until the day of retirement to begin, any more than waiting until game day to start training. Do not worry if your plan is not perfect; it will change as things change. But as the Army taught me, even a bad plan well executed is far better than no plan at all.

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CHAPTER 1, LOOKING UNDER THE HOOD

Here is how to use this book. Step One, Getting Excited About Retirement, covers how to make your retirement fun, interesting and fulfilling.

Step Two, Fueling Your Retirement (Don’t run Out of Money) is about how to fund all your plans. Its Chapters cover how to talk about money with your partner, avoiding financial catastrophes, determining your Nut (minimum annual expenses) and your Number (minimum investments to cover the Nut), extracting money from your house, allocating your investments among fixed investments (bonds and various types of annuities) and equities (stocks), tax planning and different ways to draw down your investments.

Step Three, Body Work For Physical Health And Fitness is about how to be sure you have the health and long life to enjoy all your great plans. It covers why fat is so unhealthy, how to determine how much you have and how much you should lose. Other Chapters describe a Slo-Mo Substitution and exercise approach to shed the pounds and avoid frailty.

Step Four, Getting Back Your Sexual Mojo covers the emotional and health aspects of sex, how to talk about sex, how ED drugs work and how to use them, and ways to enhance sex for both you and your partner.

Step Five, More Tune Up Tips To Keep You Healthy covers cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, screening tests, vitamin supplements, dental health and senior moments.

Step Six, When To Start Social Security And Figuring Out Medicare covers not only when to start Social Security, but also some strategies to switch back and forth between spousal and personal benefits. The Medicare Chapters are a guide to navigating the intricacies of Medicare, including Parts A, B, D, Medigap insurance and Advantage Plans.

Step Seven, A Little Philosophy, A Few Last Things includes some life lessons to help reduce stress and make life more peaceful and planning for aging and the end of life.

Check out the Appendices at the back. There is a Glossary of financial, medical and legal terms so you don’t need a dictionary when reading this book. I also included my Health Care Advance Directive and Health Care Proxy that I compiled from various legal sources to cover any issues that may arise.

Remember that the Table of Contents is interactive. It has lots of Chapters and subchapter headings so you can go right to any topic by clicking on it or touching it. (For a PC, you may have to use ctrl + click.) Feel free to skip any topics (like Step Seven on sex) where you already have enough expertise. Then again, as I discovered, even an old dog can learn a few new tricks.

If you want to approach your planning by how many years you are away from retirement, use the Countdown Checklists below, which are cross referenced back to the Chapters.

Countdown to Retirement Checklists

5 YEARS BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Draft will. (You need this for accidental death, even if you are healthy now) (Chapter 40)

___ Draft health care directive and health care proxy (Chapter 40 and Appendix 2)

___ Draft Activity (Bucket) Lists (Chapter 2)

___ Prepare rough budgets for your Bucket List (Chapters 2 & 5)

___ Make first pass at projected Number for investments at retirement and compare sum of Social Security and pensions and withdrawal of 5% of investments to budgets. Do iterations until they roughly match (or are at least in the same ball park). (Chapters 6 & 7)

___ Set allocations for investments (Chapter 9)

___ If you don’t have it, get long term health care insurance (Chapter 4)

___ Get an annual physical, start exercising (Chapters 17 & 18) and losing weight (Chapters 14-18)

4 YEARS BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Repeat year 5 list

___ Check your performance against BMI or body fat or waist or weight goals (Chapter 13)

___ Get your blood pressure (Chapter 30) and cholesterol (Chapter 29) down

___ Have your blood sugar checked (Chapter 31). Sometimes you can get it checked for free when you give blood.

___ Start doing some things on your Bucket List (Chapter 2)

___ Rebalance your investments per year 5 allocations. Consider small changes toward retirement allocations. (Chapter 9)

___ Keep maxing out your contributions to your 401(k) or IRA

___ Do something to cut your Nut. (Chapter 7)

___ Start accelerating reduction of debt, including your mortgage (Chapter 7 and its subchapter Don’t Bet on Debt)

___ Improve your sex life (Step Four)

3 YEARS BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Repeat year 4 list

___ Get really serious about quitting smoking (Chapter 11), losing weight or lowering BMI (Chapters 13 - 15), and exercising (Chapters 17 & 18)

___ Work on implementing Life Lessons to reduce stress. (Chapter 39)

___ Start reallocating investments toward retirement mix (Chapter 9)

___ Review your Bucket List options. (Chapter 2) Any checked off or at least started? What are you waiting for?

2 YEARS BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Repeat year 3 list

___ Recheck your budget (Chapter 5), how to pay for it (Chapters 6, 7 and 9) and make a net worth statement (Chapter 9)

___ Continue to reallocate investments (Chapter 9)

___ Investigate ideas for where you want to live in retirement and take a vacation there.

___ Start building cash reserve for 1-2 years of retirement, to avoid having to sell in a down market. (Chapter 9)

1 YEAR BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Repeat year 2 list

___ Revisit and revise your bucket list options (Chapter 2)

___ Try a vacation or two from your list to build the anticipation of retirement

___ Start lessons to learn something new, join an organization, subscribe to performing arts groups or get season tickets for your favorite team. If you have the tickets you will go.

___ Continue to build cash reserve for first year or two of retirement (Chapter 6 & 9)

___ Reallocate balance sheet among cash, taxable, tax-free, tax deferred (Chapter 9)

___ Create a detailed Bare Bones Budget (Nut) (Chapter 5)

___ Make this your Budget Year to decide how much you really need in retirement. Practice spending as if retired, reducing your Nut by discounts and other strategies like shopping in your closet for clothes (Chapter 7)

SIX MONTH PERIOD BEFORE RETIREMENT

___ Decide on when you and your mate want to take Social Security (Chapter 37).

___ Notify Social Security up to four months in advance to set up benefit payments.

___ Decide on whether to set up annuities to help cover the Nut. (Chapter 9)

___ Begin investigating Medicare A, B, D, Medigap, drug and Advantage Plans (Chapter 38)

____ Notify Medicare if you want to start coverage. Select Medigap, Drug plans or Advantage. (Chapter 38)

___ Plan that first vacation after retirement to start things with a bang.

RETIREMENT: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU MADE IT.

___ Enjoy the time you have for yourself and family.

___ Start working down your Activity Lists (Chapter 2).

___ If you get the sudden urge to work, follow my brother Wayne’s advice: Sit down until the urge passes.

___ Work on your serenity as well as your health and pleasure. (Chapter 39)

___ Stay connected with people. Your religious center is very good for this, as is any volunteer organization.

___ If you think you want to move, try renting for 3-6 months before selling the old house

___ Monitor the first year’s spending and compare to your budget. See if you covered your Bare Bones Budget (Nut) by Social Security, pensions and 4% or 5% withdrawal. If not, find ways to reduce the Nut (Chapter 7) or consider a two-phase plan. (Chapter 10)

____ Rerun the Monte Carlo analysis annually to be sure your money will not run out; readjust withdrawals if needed.

____ At least annually, reallocate your investments. (Chapter 9)

___ As you get older with fewer years for your money to cover, consider raising the withdrawal percentage. (Chapter 10)

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STEP ONE: GETTING EXCITED ABOUT RETIREMENT

The first and most important step is to get excited about retirement, not depressed. You should be as excited as when you are buying a new car. Here’s how.

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CHAPTER 2, BUCKET THAT LIST

Let’s start with that cliché bucket list. When working and raising children, there is not enough time to worry much about extra leisure activities or enough extra energy to do them. As my retired brother Wayne told me, until you retire you do not realize how wound up you are all the time from your job. But in retirement there have to be activities to fill the hours and a good reason to get up in the morning. Waking up with an empty day and nothing to do that excites you is a sure prescription to get depressed, sick and age fast. As part of my job as a patent litigator, I had occasion to interview men who had retired. I recall one who had been a research scientist and had written brilliant technical papers. Two years after retirement he was sitting in a darkened, unkempt house and having difficulty focusing on a conversation. Another retired man I met was heavily involved with collecting barber shop quartet music and supplying it free to singers around the country. He had a youthful enthusiasm and zest for life.

Which guy do you want to be? The retired guy who wanders about the house waiting for something to break so he has a project to occupy his time? Or the guy who wakes up in the morning excited about the day? Obviously, choose the second. Your mate will also be thankful you have planned for retirement activities before retiring. A common complaint wives make is that their retired husbands just hover near them, asking what she is doing and micromanaging her chores when all he really wants is something to do himself. Take charge and be your own guide to your days.

The point is not that there is one perfect set of retirement activities for everyone. But there is one perfect set for YOU. And if you think that there is no rush, plenty of time to do everything, try this exercise a retired guy showed me. Get a tape measure and pull it out to your life expectancy, say 83 (one inch = one year) if you are now 65. Now put your finger on your age. Look at how much is gone and how little is left. Change your mind? The guy who showed me this tape measure demo sold his business and retired at 55 after someone else showed it to him.

Make the list NOW. Put it on paper. What were your dreams in your youth or middle age that never came to be? What excites you? What are you curious about? What would you like to do to give back? If you have a hard time coming up with ideas that excite you, check out volunteer opportunities complied by AARP (come on guys, AARP is cheap to join, has a good magazine and gives you lots of discounts on stuff). Or go to an adventure travel convention and collect brochures. Buy a travel magazine and circle all those numbers on the postcard inside to receive brochures on lots of places. Talk to friends about their travels. Look at catalogs of local adult education courses.

Some things might have a prerequisite, such as certification for SCUBA diving, a license for motorcycling, a racing license for local tracks, a pilot license for flying. If you have always wanted to try something like that, start the process NOW. And if the activities require a certain level of fitness you lack, start to get in shape now as well. (See, Chapters 17 and 18)

You can include two types of things in the list. The first type is one time things, like travel to a particular country or destination or a one-off activity like rafting the Grand Canyon. (Yes, it is as good as they say.) The second type is ongoing activities, like improving your golf game or guitar playing or learning to fly or fly fish or gardening or writing or painting or woodworking. If you have a spouse or significant other, the travels are best discussed together because it is more fun to travel together than alone, and to share the memories after. If she is not interested, at least you have staked out your territory of what you intend to do. The learning activities are more yours to decide alone, since they tend not to intrude as much on someone else.

There are various ways to prioritize the list; level of physical fitness needed might be one. This approach does not apply to some activities, like having reading as your passion. If reading is your thing, you can still add things to your list like asking your local librarian for a great books list, or maybe teaching reading as a teacher’s assistant or tutor at a local school. There really is something for everyone.

Another way to prioritize is to segregate the activities into different Lists by expense to help the financial analysis in Chapter 5. What I call the Bare Bones Budget (Bicycle) List has activities that are free or have only nominal cost. The Realistic Optimist (Chevy) List adds things of medium cost. The Sky Is the Limit (Ferrari) List is the blowout, no holds barred wish list. It will give you incentive to save more and reduce your other minimum annual expenses (your Nut) to