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Secrets of Discipline

Secrets of Discipline

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Secrets of Discipline

Lungime:
158 pages
2 hours
Lansat:
Feb 10, 2012
ISBN:
9780968113158
Format:
Carte

Descriere

Secrets of Discipline presents the keys to effective discipline in a clear and understandable format. Learn how to raise and teach children without all the deal making, arguments and confrontations. Learn how to set appropriate limits, teach courtesy and respect, deal effectively with defiance, and prepare children for independence. Many parents and teachers are wondering what has happened to discipline in today's world. How did children end up with all of the choices and all of the power? This book is designed to help parents and teachers get back on track. It presents the basics of discipline in a clear, easy-to-understand style. Only when children are well trained and well taught do they handle their choices with respect for the rights and needs of others.
Secrets of Discipline is parent-friendly, practical, effective, and immediately applicable. -The Midwest Review
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Lansat:
Feb 10, 2012
ISBN:
9780968113158
Format:
Carte

Despre autor

Ronald Morrish has been an educator and behavior specialist since 1972. He was a teacher with the District School Board of Niagara in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada, for 26 years. During that time, he taught regular education and special education classes, was a learning resource teacher, and spent 16 years as the Board’s behavior specialist. In 1997, he became an independent consultant. In addition to presenting at conferences, Mr. Morrish provides professional development programs for teachers, and speaks to parent groups and child care providers, internationally. Mr. Morrish has written and published three books. His first book, Secrets of Discipline, which was also produced in video and DVD formats, discusses twelve keys for raising responsible children without deal-making, arguments, and confrontations. His second book, With All Due Respect, focuses on the keys for improving personal discipline skills and building effective school discipline as a team. In 2003, he published Flip Tips, a mini-book of discipline tips and helpful hints, drawn from his books and presentations. Future projects include a set of DVDs and materials to accompany With All Due Respect. Mr. Morrish’s educational background includes two undergraduate degrees, one in psychology from Queen’s University and one in education from Lakehead University, as well as a Master’s degree in education from the University of Toronto.

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Secrets of Discipline - Ronald Morrish

Author

Part I

Discipline

Gone Awry

Chapter 1

Feeling Frustrated?

Are you tired of bargaining with your children just to get a little co-operation? Are you frustrated by their lack of respect? If so, then you are not alone. Millions of parents and teachers share your concerns. They have watched children become more aggressive, and they are worried about the lack of safety in our schools and communities. They have seen the disruption in school classrooms and they are worried about the quality of education. They have witnessed the lack of respect in children and they are worried about the future.

What has happened to discipline? Could television and the movies have such a negative impact on our children? Many people think so. Others believe that social issues are to blame, including poverty, abuse, and the breakdown of the family unit. Research says that every one of these concerns plays a significant role. That’s not a surprise.

The only real surprise is that no one is investigating the most obvious source of problems. As you will soon see, many of the problems with discipline lie within discipline itself. Many of the strategies that we presently use to raise our children will not give us the kind of children we want.

Everyone agrees that we must raise our children to be responsible and co-operative. This is the only way that we can have confidence in the future of our communities. Unfortunately, today’s popular discipline will never accomplish this task. It actually encourages children to become manipulative and non-compliant. It teaches them to play life like a chess match – move and counter-move. Parents and teachers are forced to make deals with children and threaten punishment just to get a few chores done and have rules obeyed.

It doesn’t take long for adults to become so exasperated and frustrated that they feel like giving up.

Now, don’t misunderstand. This doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to raise responsible children using today’s popular discipline. After all, there are a lot of great children in the world. Obviously, some parents and teachers succeed – but it’s not easy. Even at the best of times, discipline is exhausting and everyone has days when they wonder if it’s all worthwhile. Fortunately, many of these problems can be avoided, and that’s what this book is all about.

The first step is to understand what today’s popular discipline is all about. You see, discipline keeps changing. It reflects changes in our society. During the past 40 years, discipline has gone through several dramatic transformations.

Remember When?

Until the 1960’s, discipline and obedience were considered virtually synonymous. The goal of discipline was to instill in each child a form of respect for authority that would result in the child following adult directions without question. Children were to be seen and not heard. Any form of disagreement with adult direction was labelled talking back and was dealt with accordingly.

Then we became concerned that children were overly submissive and lacked independence. As teenagers, they felt obligated to rebel against adult domination and the abuse of power. We realized that discipline had to change, so....

Into the 1970’s, we followed the advice of psychologists who suggested that children should not be inhibited. Parents were supposed to unconditionally give and give to their children, demanding little in the way of chores and responsibilities. They weren’t to use the word No because it could lower a child’s self-esteem. Rudeness, anger, and defiance were to be viewed as healthy outlets for hostility and accepted as a natural part of growing up.

Then we became concerned that children were turning into spoiled brats who thought that the world should revolve around their personal rights and needs. We realized that discipline had to change, so....

We adopted the principles of behavior modification. We learned to reinforce desirable behaviors with praise and rewards. Undesirable behaviors were to be reduced or eliminated through the use of negative consequences, usually scolding or the removal of privileges. Consistency was considered a key factor in determining the success or failure of our efforts.

Then we became concerned that we were conditioning our children like we were conditioning our dogs. We felt that behavior modification was cold and impersonal. We realized that discipline had to change, so...

...we moved toward today’s popular discipline.

In the 80’s and 90’s, freedom of choice became the major social issue and constant demands were made for greater personal rights and freedoms. Child advocates argued that children should have many of the same rights and should be allowed to make more of their own choices. Supposedly, this extra freedom would prepare children for life in the modern, rapidly-changing world.

Proponents were convinced that children would learn to be responsible by experiencing the consequences of their choices. The role of adults would be to encourage good choices and discourage poor ones using the rewards and consequences they had learned for behavior modification.

This new system was referred to as behavior management. It is the system that almost every parent and teacher uses today. Open any of today’s books on discipline and you will likely be reading about these techniques.

Come Again?

Don’t worry if you find these last two stages a bit confusing. Many people do. So, before going on, let’s clarify the difference between the old system, called behavior modification, and the new one, called behavior management. With behavior modification, adults told children what to do and rewarded them for complying with the instructions. With behavior management, children are given the freedom to make their own choices and are rewarded for making good ones. Just remember the word choices and you will have the central theme of today’s popular discipline.

The problem is that somewhere along the way, we forgot to limit children to the choices that are theirs to make.

Children, granted the freedom to make their own choices, are far too liable to choose irresponsible and antisocial behavior. Many parents and teachers are now worried about the breakdown in respect for authority. They are concerned about increasing disruption in school classrooms and about the lack of safety in our schools and communities.

As you read the Secrets of Discipline you will understand how discipline has allowed these problems to develop. You will see that today’s discipline fails to teach children the skills they need to become responsible, co-operative, and productive. It also promotes a value system that is opposite to what you want to see in your children.

Some Children are Bound to Struggle

You will also understand why this system of discipline fails certain children. Impulsive children, for instance, rarely benefit from behavior management. This is one of the reasons that children labelled ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) seem to be coming out of the woodwork these days. Children from dysfunctional and neglectful homes are also likely to struggle. The same is true for underachievers. For all these children, behavior management fails to teach them the skills and attitudes required for success in the modern world. Could it be time, once again, for discipline to change?

Chapter 2

Choices, Choices, Everywhere

Today’s world is a ‘think-for-yourself’ world. Our children hear it all the time. Think for yourself. Think for yourself. Children are expected to make their own decisions and learn by experiencing the outcomes of their actions.

The Belief ...is that children will learn from their experiences and will grow up to be responsible, co-operative, and productive.

Most parents and teachers have adopted this approach. The result is that children have found themselves surrounded by choices. At home, many children are allowed to decide what to wear, how to do their hair, what to eat, and when to go to bed. Their bedrooms are often treated as private areas and neatness is often viewed as a personal concern.

The school environment is much the same. Children select their own activities. Line-ups are passé. Clothing is a personal statement and dress codes may be considered an infringement of individual rights. Students have even been given the freedom to decide on the quality of their work and the marks that they wish to earn.

Teachers readily adopted behavior management, not just because it was recommended by experts, but also because it fit well with other educational theories. During the 80’s, about the same time as behavior management came on the scene, educators embraced the discovery approach to learning. This approach was based on the premise that children learned concepts best if they discovered them on their own. Entire programs were redesigned to allow children to select their own activities. Techniques such as direct instruction and lecturing fell into disrepute. Educational goals emphasized the need to develop independent, self-motivated, and self-directed learners.

As a result, it was natural for teachers to adopt a similar approach to discipline. Behavior management is, in effect, the discovery approach to discipline.

But Wait!

Will this

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