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    Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen
    Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen
    Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen
    Ebook54 pages27 minutes

    Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen

    By Jake Vander Ark

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    About this ebook

    There are hundreds of fantastic books about writing for hopeful authors to choose from, but most of them are boring, complicated, and bogged down by filler. This little book is brief, straight forward, and easy to understand.

    I won’t bore you with mundane grammar rules or the crap you learn in English class, but I will offer concrete suggestions on how to improve your writing. I can’t promise that you’ll be the next Stephen King, but I can guarantee that you’ll be a step above the people who don’t implement these techniques.

    This edition has twenty tips, but twenty more are on the way! All new tips will be added to the Smashwords edition free of charge. Future topics are listed below the table of contents.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJake Vander Ark
    Release dateSep 5, 2012
    ISBN9781476000893
    Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen
    Author

    Jake Vander Ark

    "I want to offend my readers. I want them to fall in love, to lose their minds, to think and feel and dream. If they're not shellshocked and hungry by the final page, I haven't done my job." Whether it's a modern-day fairytale or hardcore science fiction, Jake Vander Ark attacks every story with brutal realism and down-to-earth characters. No subject is taboo. Truth is paramount. The School of the Art Institute of Chicago influenced the experimental quirks of his stories, while his pursuits in Hollywood hammered the importance of traditional storytelling. This unique fusion of structure and innovation gave life to the most beautiful girl in the world in THE ACCIDENTAL SIREN, the gritty morality tale of LIGHTHOUSE NIGHTS, the cryptic prologue of THE BRANDYWINE PROPHET, and the mind-melting climax of THE DAY I WORE PURPLE. When Jake isn't writing, he's building rustic furniture for his small business, engaging with his readers online, and livin' it up with his wife and dogs. For writing tips, politically-incorrect rants, or TV show recommendations, check out his blog at JakeVanderArk.com.

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      Book preview

      Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen - Jake Vander Ark

      Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen

      Jake Vander Ark

      Copyright 2012 by Jake Vander Ark

      Smashwords Edition

      www.jakevanderark.com

      jake.vander.ark@gmail.com

      This edition has twenty tips, but twenty more are on the way! All new tips will be added to the Smashwords edition free of charge. Future topics are listed below the table of contents.

      PRAISE FOR THIS BOOK

      Fourteen of these tips were posted for free on Wattpad.com. In four months, they received 50,000 reads and over 700 comments:

      "This is the perfect primer for learning how to hold readers’ attention. It practices what it preaches and doesn’t waste any words. How many of us can claim that?"

      AndrewCrofts

      "I’ve been looking for some good books on writing, but they all seem to be very basic things like paragraphs and punctuation. This is pretty much exactly what I was looking for, and I’ll definitely keep these tips in mind."

      gempearl

      "You just saved my life through writing."

      teohorere_williams

      "Thanks for this! You helped me so much more than my English teacher did."

      xXxWinterxXx

      "Wow. These tips are so simple, yet I only knew the general idea of one or two of them! Great job, I’ll definitely use these!"

      Supernova888

      "I usually shun this kinda thing because they basically tell me what I think I already know, but you explained it well and got right to the point."

      EsmeTaylor

      "You’re a genius! Thank you so much for writing this, it helped me so much!"

      Xenociea

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      Extremely Simple Tips

      Screw Strunk and White! This chapter has straightforward advice for novice writers... without the bull.

      The Number One Rule: Show, Don’t Tell

      Find Original Ideas in Unoriginal Stories

      When Describing People, Tell Us What Makes Them Different

      Watch Out For Backwards Sentences

      Put the Cat In the Oven Before You Describe the Kitchen

      Murder Your Adjectives and Adverbs

      Advanced Concepts

      If you understand the basics but readers still aren’t turning the page, this chapter is for you.

      Give Every Character a Through-Line

      The Key to Powerful Flashbacks

      There’s No Secret To Great Dialogue

      Two Essential Tricks For a Spectacular

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