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    Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats!
    Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats!
    Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats!
    Ebook35 pages21 minutes

    Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats!

    By Paul Stevens

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    About this ebook

    The title says it all...

    A humorous look at what a rat invasion did to my wife and how she dealt with it.

    [Article 2749 words – 5 pages]

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPaul Stevens
    Release dateMar 6, 2013
    ISBN9781301029853
    Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats!
    Author

    Paul Stevens

    There is a favorite line from my novella Dinner Party For Eight in which Angela asks Harry:“What do you think I am?”Harry considered this for a moment. What was she actually?“Well I suppose you are a very beautiful cook.”So if I have to answer the same question what am I actually? I would also need to consider this for a moment. I would like to say I’m an ex astronaut, have more degrees than a thermometer, have competed in the Tour de France without any EPO, surfed Teahupoo in Tahiti and emerged unscathed, sailed round the world, am an ace Alpine skier, am a member of Mensa, have a beauty queen wife and gorgeous kids, and started my own corporation which has listed on NASDAQ. I could go on but like Arnold Schwarzenegger I don’t want to boast.Well to be honest, I have gone some of the way towards all those things. I do have a letter from Wernher von Braun, I do have three degrees in Physics, I have flown in a jet plane (Emirates Air), I do cycle the mega steep hills here where I live but unfortunately can’t get EPO anywhere, I am a keen surfer who has almost managed to break his neck, I am an ocean going skipper and I did own my own yacht though if it was me I wouldn’t sail with me as captain, I do ski but you need to get out of the way, I do have a beautiful wife (though her agreeing to marry me has to be my biggest piece of luck ever) and two great kids, I do have my own software business but no stock exchanges alas and I would like to take the Mensa test but I’m pretty sure I would fail and then I wouldn’t be able to live with that so I would rather rationalize. I live in that sapphire city – Cape Town.

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      Book preview

      Oh No! Don't Tell Me I've Got Rats! - Paul Stevens

      Oh No! Don’t Tell Me I’ve Got Rats!

      All Rights Reserved © 2012 Paul Stevens

      An Article in Steve’s LOL! Series

      Smashwords Edition

      Oh No! Don’t Tell Me I’ve Got Rats! – Also By This Author

      Oh No! Don’t Tell Me I’ve Got Rats!

      You know before I started writing this article I did a bit of research into this whole topic of rats. You see we had a rat invasion in our home and my sweet, loving, beautiful wife basically went berserk. But more about that later. Look, I don’t like rats any more than the next person. But I felt I had to delve into this subject to see why she has such a terrible phobia of this particular creature.

      But even I was horrified about what came up. There are presently 7 billion people in the world. And of course, at the moment, the Homo Sapiens is the dominant species. But is it going to last? I ask that because I discovered there are an estimated 5 billion rats in the world, though exactly how many no one knows. The numbers are really only being kept down by determined efforts by humans to eradicate them. But that’s pretty scary don’t you think? This population could so easily get out of control and we, human beings, would be fighting a horrible rearguard battle which probably we will lose in the end. It’s not just that there are so many of them, it’s that they breed copiously, are intelligent as anything, and tougher than nails. One nuclear war and you and I will be long gone but the rats will thrive. They probably can even feed on radiation. In New York

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