Dating, Courtship and Betrothal: Sorting Out Marriage Matters With Bible Principles
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About this ebook
Dating, Courtship and Betrothal: Sorting Out Marriage Matters With Bible Principles is a book whose time has come. The book is written from a Christian perspective that takes the Bible quite seriously. If you are looking for answers from the Scriptures, this book may be just what you are wanting.
In addition to searching the Scriptures for answers in this matter, the author has raised his children to practice the Bible as well. Through that process many of the details of these matters were hammered out through practical experience. This book is not just theories, it is practical. In this book you will find clear and concise definitions that will allow you to sort out the practice you are involved in, whether dating, courtship, betrothal or an arranged marriage.
Today when a young man or young lady are looking for a spouse they are often presented with only one way to get to marriage, dating. However the dating method of finding a spouse is relatively new from a historical perspective. Many having seen the problems that have come out of the dating lifestyle have been searching for another way. Some have moved to courtship and found that though it does help negate some of the serious side effects of the dating lifestyle, it still leaves doors of destruction open.
Others have looked to the Bible for answers and seen the practice of betrothal. This method is often misunderstood and interpreted by supporters and detractors alike as being simply an arranged marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth of how the Bible portrays this practice. In this book, the author lays out the different practices and helps the reader take off their cultural glasses and view things for how they are. He then presents a Biblical alternative to the way things are.
The chapter titles in this book include...
The Surest Way to Destroy Your Marriage
The Sin of Defrauding
The Dangers of Defrauding
Deliverance from Defrauding
Three Stages of Life
Evaluating the Culture
Four Ways of Getting to the Marriage Altar
What is the Perspective of God's Word
God's Will in Each Stage of Life
Three Bible Principles: Principle Number One
Principle Number Two
Principle Number Three
The Three Principles Applied
If you are interested in following the Bible and avoiding the impure relationships that often come out of the dating culture, you will find this book a breath of fresh air.
Douglas Hammett
Douglas Hammett has been in the gospel ministry for almost 40 years. He has been involved in many areas of ministry, often covering several areas at the same time. Those areas include Pastor, Church Planter, Staff Evangelist, College Professor and President, Author, Life/Ministry Coach, and Missionary. He has traveled extensively on mission trips around the world as well as preaching for Bible, Missions and Revival Conferences. He has a heart for God's people and desires especially to help preachers advance their ministry for Christ whether in the United States, or on the foreign field. He served for over 20 years as Senior Pastor of the Lehigh Valley Baptist Church in Emmaus, PA. Then in October, 2010, he moved to Botswana, Africa to serve there as a missionary. Pastor Hammett and his wife, Beverly, have 4 children and 7 grandchildren.
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Dating, Courtship and Betrothal - Douglas Hammett
Dating, Courtship and Betrothal
Sorting Our Marriage Matters with Bible Principles
By Douglas Hammett
Copyright 2013 Douglas Hammett
Smashwords Edition
All scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, King James Version.
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Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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Table of Contents
Chapter One: The Surest Way to Destroy Your Marriage
Chapter Two: The Sin of Defrauding
Chapter Three: The Dangers of Defrauding
Chapter Four: Deliverance from Defrauding
Chapter Five: Three Stages of Life
Chapter Six: Evaluating the Culture
Chapter Seven: Four Ways of Getting to the Marriage Altar
Chapter Eight: What is the Perspective of God’s Word
Chapter Nine: God’s Will in Each Stage of Life
Chapter Ten: Three Bible Principles
Chapter Eleven: Principle Number Two
Chapter Twelve: Principle Number Three
Chapter Thirteen: The Three Principles Applied
About the Author
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Note from the Author:
This book is a compilation of several sermons preached in our church on the subject of dating, defrauding, and marriage. I hope you find it informative and helpful. The issue of how you get to the marriage altar is very important. God has given us His way in the Word of God. If you have any questions, my contact information is at the end of this book.
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Chapter One
The Surest Way to Destroy Your Future Marriage
When you look at the title of this chapter, you might think it a little strange. I realize that anyone in their right mind does not desire to destroy their marriage—whether present or future. Hopefully you want to avoid that at all costs. But that is what many young people in our world today are doing.
Therefore this is a very key subject for many of your lives, especially the young people that are looking towards marriage someday. It is also important for parents who desire to raise their children and point them in a right direction. If you are past all those stages, you still ought to be concerned about younger people that you can influence—whether in your church or in your neighborhood or in your family.
George Barna recently published a troubling survey. He found that 27% of marriages where both the husband and wife claim to be a Christian end in divorce. In that same survey he showed that Roman Catholics have a lower percentage than those who claim to be Christians, and atheists have a much lower divorce rate at only 21%. As God’s people, we should be upset at these figures.
I believe the reason for these disturbing statistics is because there is something that is wrong today—in the Christian community, in our churches, in our Bible colleges—and it is destroying families and marriages. I just want to warn you that this is a very unusual topic—but if you will examine it carefully, I think you will agree that it is Biblical and it is needed in our society today.
"Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.
For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus.
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.
Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the gentiles which know not God.
That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.
For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.
He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit." (First Thessalonians 4:1-8)
Let’s look at these verses and see what Paul is teaching us here. Paul had only spent about four weeks in the city of Thessalonica, and yet in the time that he was there, he taught them how they should live—not only by mouth but by example.
Verses One through Three
In verse one he says they should be walking in a way that pleases God. That is how our Christian life should be. We should be more concerned about pleasing God than we are about pleasing anyone else.
Paul states in verses two and three that while he was with them there in Thessalonica, he taught them the commandments of Jesus Christ. One of those commandments was that they were to abstain from fornication, and they were to live a life of sanctification and honor. The word sanctification simply means holiness. God wants us as Christian to live a holy life—but it is not always easy.
If you look around our nation—on the television, on the billboards, on the radio, in the periodicals in the store—in all these you see moral impurity. It is everywhere in our society today. Sadly, in many independent Baptist churches, immorality reigns. Thankfully, we are not as bad as the world—but we like to look at how bad the world is and stay a few steps behind them. And we will be OK with one another—but not OK with God.
Verse Four
If you want to abstain from fornication, God gives you the answer on how it is possible. The word vessel is talking about the body in which you live. You need to know how to control your own body.
But First Peter chapter three also says that the wife you marry is a vessel. The Bible also talks about two people becoming one flesh when they marry. So this verse is not just talking about how to possess my own vessel—how to operate within my own body—but it is also referring to the vessel that I acquire through marriage: my wife. This verse is teaching us about marriage.
God’s Word teaches us that there is a holy way to go about getting a wife and getting to the marriage altar. And most of us did not get there in sanctification and honor. If we are honest about it, we would have to admit that the way we went about getting married was not a holy way.
No one ever taught me how to go about getting married in a holy way, so I just did what everyone else did. I used my own wisdom and my own ways, and sprinkled a little Bible in with it. And I think most people looking at my wife and I would say, Oh, aren’t they a wonderful Christian couple? They look so good.
But we did not get to the marriage altar in a way that could be called a holy way.
In