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    Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet
    Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet
    Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet
    Ebook68 pages1 hour

    Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet

    By Duane L. Ostler

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    About this ebook

    Flo and Mo are not ordinary babies. Although only fourteen months old, they can use a computer, trick any mindless adult they want, and help their goofy detective father solve some of the most baffling of crimes. The only thing they struggle with is controlling the natural actions of their tiny, baby bodies. Therefore, they need to be changed and burped regularly.

    Then a mysterious girl comes to their father, claiming that her grandmother has disappeared. Soon the babies find themselves launched on a mystery that challenges even their incredible minds. In the midst of Indian attacks and kidnappings, will the babies be able to save their bumbling parents?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDuane L. Ostler
    Release dateApr 27, 2013
    ISBN9781301361557
    Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet
    Author

    Duane L. Ostler

    Duane L. Ostler was raised in Southern Idaho, and has lived in Australia, Mexico, Brazil, China, Utah, the big Island of Hawaii, and—most foreign of all—New Jersey. He practiced law for over 10 years and has a PhD in legal history. He and his wife have five children and two cats.

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      Book preview

      Detectives in Diapers - Duane L. Ostler

      DETECTIVES IN DIAPERS: THE MYSTERY OF THE AZTEC AMULET

      By Duane L. Ostler

      Published by Duane L. Ostler at Smashwords

      Discover other titles by Duane L. Ostler at Smashwords.com

      This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed solely for non-commercial purposes, and only if the book remains in its complete, original form and contains the copyright notice.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      CHAPTER ONE: Flo and Mo

      CHAPTER TWO: The Mysterious Letter

      CHAPTER THREE: A Stroller Ride to the Tool Shed

      CHAPTER FOUR: Attacked by Aztecs!

      CHAPTER FIVE: Uncle Elroy

      CHAPTER SIX: Discovery of a Tunnel

      CHAPTER SEVEN: Captured!

      CHAPTER EIGHT: Flo and Mo Take Charge

      CHAPTER NINE: A Year's Supply of Diapers

      CHAPTER ONE

      Flo and Mo

      It was a typical day in the typical neighborhood of Muddy Heights. Mrs. McGruder, who lived on the corner of Itch Street, let out her twenty-five pound tabby cat, 'Dinky,' for his morning prowl. Mr. Trilp, who lived next door to Mrs. McGruder, hastily called in his Chihuahua 'Brutus' from the backyard to save him from death at the claws of Dinky.

      Mrs. Finster went on her morning jog--thirty laps around her house carrying a fifty pound backpack full of rocks. It was part of her plan to lose 100 pounds while still eating all the chocolate she wanted. (Her wheezing could be heard for a three block radius). Her tidy house sat next to a shabby-looking two story house mid-way down the street.

      On the other side of the shabby two story house, Mr. Rockhart went out to work in his garden. Like always, he was muttering under his breath about every evil under the sun, from aphids to the lousy neighbors I've got on this lousy street. His angriest muttering was reserved for his most-hated neighbors, the Flitz's in the shabby two-story house next door.

      But in the shabby two story house itself, completely unaware of the muttering and the wheezing that was taking place on either side of her, Mrs. Flitz walked into the nursery. She was carrying her twin babies. First there was Flo, a pudgy, fourteen-month-old girl who had a fat little face with a double chin. And then there was Mo, a pudgier fourteen-month-old boy, who had been born just twenty-five seconds after Flo.

      Mrs. Flitz plopped both babies into their playpen like she was dropping goey cake batter into a mixing bowl. Not that Mrs. Flitz was careless with her babies. Indeed, she loved them dearly. But she had read somewhere that the proper way to put a baby into a playpen was to 'plop' them rather gently, since it was supposed to be good for their spinal development.

      There you are, sweetie-ums! she chirped in a rather annoying, high-pitched voice. She looked tenderly at her pudgy offspring. Time for an hour of bouncing in your playpen, while Mommy balls her eyes out watching her favorite soap opera, 'The Emotional Minefield!' She smiled a sticky-sweet smile at them, and they cooed adoringly in return. Then she turned and disappeared into the next room where they heard her switch on the TV and grab a box of kleenex that would be entirely used up during the show.

      The babies stopped cooing, and looked at each other. Mo rolled his eyes at Flo. And then he did something that no normal fourteen-month-old baby would ever do. He talked to his sister in his mind, using that unique mental telepathy that sometimes develops between twins. And it was obvious his mental development had far surpassed the normal baby stage.

      I think she permanently damaged my spinal development on that plop! he said rather gruffly.

      But she means well, responded Flo in defense of their mother, through the same mental telepathy.

      Yes, I suppose so, sighed Mo. But I wish she hadn't read that dratted article on 'plopping' by Dr. Stringbrain. The man's a looney, but of course Mum lapped it all up. Now we get painfully plopped all day long!

      You shouldn't talk that way about mama! responded Flo rather sharply. Her brain may be a bit scrambled in many respects, but she is a top-rate Mother, generally speaking.

      True enough, agreed Mo. At least she feeds us cookie dough and merangue pie, because of that weird baby nutrition article by Dr. Goofgil. But I sometimes wish she didn't believe EVERYTHING she reads about baby development.

      Why don't we go see what Dada's up to? said Flo, in an obvious effort to change the subject. She crawled over to the corner of the playpen and reached behind one of the slats. With a quick twist, she had it lose, as well as the one next to it. She lifted it up and there was just enough space for each of them to crawl under it.

      One good thing about Mama, said Flo as Mo crawled through the opening, she never checks the playpen very carefully.

      Even if she did, she wouldn't find our secret exit, said Mo. It's so well hidden no one would find it, unless they had an IQ roughly equal to ours.

      "Now don't start on that IQ kick

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