Stutter Boy
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About this ebook
When a traumatic experience in grade school opens the eyes of Aaron Thomas to his life as someone who stutters, he finds himself on two distinct journeys. One is an imaginative quest to battle his inner doubts and fears and to uncover the reason behind his existence as Stutter Boy. The other is an adventure navigating through elementary and high school facing the real challenges—and also enjoying certain triumphs—of living with stuttering. Throughout Aaron's childhood and teenage years, both journeys run parallel to each other and lead him to discover his true identity and purpose, changing his life forever.
Stutter Boy takes readers inside the mind of someone who stutters and shows that we are at our best when we share with others our personal testimonies of trials and triumphs, as one person’s impediment can be another person’s gift.
Eric J. Garner
Eric J. Garner graduated from Morehouse College in 2005 with a B.A. in English and completed the M.S. in Publishing Program at Pace University in 2007. He is one of the estimated 67 million people in the world who stutter. He is the author of the blog The Fig Tree Pages, a devotional blog that illustrates themes and lessons from the Bible in short story form. The Fig Tree Pages can be found at www.ericjgarner.org.
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Stutter Boy - Eric J. Garner
Stutter Boy
By Eric J. Garner
Copyright © 2013 by Eric J. Garner
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without written permission from the author.
www.ericjgarner.org
Contents
1. The Discovery
2. The Cage
3. Growing Pains
4. The Escape
5. Revelations
6. The Light
7. Preparation
8. The Desert
9. Redemption
10. The Mission
About the Author
Moses said to the Lord, O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.
The Lord said to him, Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.
—Exodus 4:10–12
1
The Discovery
Walking into the packed gymnasium at Union Academy, I was filled with a sense of excitement. The first day of school was always a big deal for me because it signified the beginning of a new phase in my young life. Although I was returning to the same school, the start of second grade made me feel as if I was embarking on a new adventure. A new teacher, new classroom, possible new classmates, and opportunities to discuss with my buddies the new seasons of our favorite cartoons—as well as new video games—were all reasons to be enthused about what the new school year had in store. I looked forward to seeing my classmates and comparing stories about the summer, but first I needed to find where my buddies were located in the gymnasium.
With the entire elementary school population jammed onto the basketball court, kids from grades one through five were huddled in their assigned sections awaiting the school bell and directions from teachers for how to proceed with the first day of school. I wandered amidst the sea of kids, looking for the sign stand that read 2nd Grade.
Slightly hunched over, I struggled to carry my backpack that appeared to weigh more than my short and scrawny body. Steadying the massive weight on my back by gripping the straps over my shoulders, I desperately hoped to find the sign soon.
I was relieved to see some familiar faces of a few girls in my class. Although I had made it to my class’s section, I did not yet see any of my buddies. Feeling in the spirit of what I felt would be second grade camaraderie, I approached the group of girls. They were gathered together having a conversation, so I stood behind the huddle hoping to get one of the girls’ attention. Feeling a bit awkward, but eager to talk to someone about the new school year, I waited until one of the girls finally looked up at me.
With eye contact established, I smiled, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to join the group’s conversation.
Hi, L…L…L…isa.
The girls’ entire conversation stopped, and those with their backs to me turned around.
With all eyes on me, I continued to say, How ww…ww…wwwaas…your bbbrrr…eak?
The group of girls giggled as if I had told them a secret joke. My smile quickly disappeared. Lisa’s face cast a cold expression, suggesting she would not answer my question kindly.
Come on, talk, Stutter Boy,
she said callously.
The girls’ giggles turned to laughs and I felt my body’s temperature rise. A multitude of words raced through my mind and quickly tried to form themselves in response.
Lisa continued her attack. This time, in a mocking voice, she said, T…T…Talk, Stut…Stut…Stutter Boy.
With a response now forged in my mind, I attempted to speak, but the words were stuck. I tried as hard as I could, but the words would not escape my mouth. Frustrated and embarrassed, I could only stand there and accept their hurtful laughs. The weight of my backpack now feeling unbearable, I trudged away from the scene to try and find my buddies.
That day I was introduced to a part of me I initially wished never existed. I was seven years old and my speech impediment had never been pointed out to me in a negative way. But at that moment in front of giggling schoolgirls, I was exposed as Stutter Boy, a boy who struggled to talk and express himself the way he wanted. Those two words Stutter
and Boy
plugged into my mind, and my eyes were opened to the rocky road that lay ahead of me in my life.
I realized that in a world contingent on verbal communication, I could not speak like everyone else. I would never know what it was like to talk normal,
to let words flow freely without impediment. No longer would thoughts of video games and cartoons hold priority in my mind. Instead, a majority of my childhood would be spent figuring out how to cope and exist in a world of verbal confinement and isolation. I felt trapped in a cage created by my own inability to speak what I wanted, when I wanted, or how I wanted.
To me, I was Aaron Thomas, a bright and friendly kid with a lot to say, but to the rest of the world, I was Stutter Boy. With these two realities wedged in my mind, I began to embark on two distinct journeys. One would be an imaginative quest to battle my inner doubts and fears and to uncover the reason behind the existence of the Stutter Boy in me. The other would be an adventure navigating through elementary school and high school facing the real challenges—and also enjoying certain triumphs—of living with stuttering. Throughout my childhood and teenage years, both journeys would run parallel to each other and lead me to discover my true identity and purpose, and change my life forever.
2
The Cage
Surrounded by darkness, only a thin beam of light peered through what looked to be a peephole in a wall across from me. Seated on the ground with my back against a concrete wall, I wondered where I was. I rose from the ground and blindly began to feel my way around the mysterious, dark space. With outstretched arms and hands, I took five steps to the right and felt a wall. I took