Learn Yourself: A Manual for the Mind

For years, I had pain in my shoulder. I tried painkillers, a chiropractor, and stretches, but nothing helped. Then, one day, I realized I was tensing my shoulder without realizing it. I relaxed the muscles, and eventually the pain left.

I'd become consciously aware of a subconscious habit, and it saved me from pain. Cool.

Sometimes we do the same thing mentally, by subconsciously causing ourselves problems without realizing it. In this sense, we are our own worst enemies. But, it doesn't have to be that way. As I'd relaxed my shoulder and stopped hurting myself, we can do the same thing with our minds.

This book can help the reader to that end.

GREETINGS!

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Aaron Garrison, and you have not heard of me. I have no college education. I have no credentials. I have no string of acronyms after my name. I am, simply, a man. Though, I am a man whose choices and circumstances have forced him to learn his mind. It is this knowledge which I share with you now.

We are, indeed, our own worst enemies. I learned this after years of living in perpetual illness, during which my mind became an enemy to itself. My illness's most destructive effects were not the physical symptoms themselves, but the mental and perceptual effects which the illness produced. In fact, these mental effects would prove to be more damaging than the illness which bred them, creating some irony. However, this became apparent only after years of self-inflicted suffering.

The only way I survived this inner war was to become consciously aware of my mind and its subconscious behavior, a sink-or-swim scenario if there ever was one. In this book, you will find the information and techniques which enabled me to survive myself, presented in ways anyone can understand and apply in daily life.

First, one thing needs to be made clear: a person does not need to be sick to be harmed by their own mind. Even healthy, everyone possesses a subconscious which is potentially self-destructive. Yes, sickness forced me to learn my mind, but sickness did not create my problems in the first place. As it were, I had always functioned without self-awareness, in which my actions were based primarily on illogical urges and impulses from my subconscious. This lack of awareness was the primary problem, and though it was both a contributor to my illness and was aggravated by my illness, the problem predated my illness. My unawareness was, unknown to me, lifelong.

What the illness did do was amplify my flawed thinking to the point that I couldn't ignore it. Then, I was forced to correct it, or cease to function.

What follows is how I learned myself, offered to the reader in hopes that they might learn far easier than I did.

Section I

To walk, you must first crawl.

Chapter 1: Terminology

Before anything else, I must explain how to read this book. This is so we are speaking the same language, as to establish a sound understanding of what I will be describing. Such understanding is very important on the reader's part. Otherwise, there can arise a confusion of terms and meanings, where, for instance, you and I may define the same word very differently.

Know that this book is written in an especially broad and longwinded format. This is intentional, to ensure a higher degree of accuracy. By using such an explanatory format, I hope to communicate explicit meanings and descriptions, as to best avoid any misunderstanding or misconception. Patience is required when reading this form of writing, but it is rewarded with better comprehension on the reader's part.

In short, the book is written this way so that you may understand. I would rather this book not be read at all, than be read and misunderstood.

Thus, this first chapter is dedicated to explaining the terminology used in the rest of the book.

THE CONSCIOUS AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS

The first terms to be discussed are the conscious mind and the subconscious mind.

These are large terms, like most psychology. But, a basic definition is this: the conscious mind is the top of the mind, being the thoughts and feelings a person has ready access to; while the subconscious is what lies beneath the topside mind, being the thoughts and feelings most people do not have ready access to.

Picture a pyramid. At the very top of this pyramid is a capstone. The capstone is very small, comprising only a fraction of the entire pyramid. The pyramid is the mind, and the capstone is the conscious part of it, with the rest being the subconscious. Yes, the subconscious is that large.

Put simply, the conscious mind is what someone thinks, and the subconscious is what manufactures those thoughts. In this way, the mind can be compared to a car: the conscious mind is the going, and the subconscious is what makes it go. The same could be said of the mind's complexity: from the outside, a car and its purpose may seem uncomplicated; but, once you see the engine and the car's other inner workings, that illusion of simplicity is dispelled.

Here's an example to distinguish between the conscious and the subconscious minds. A man sees a woman and finds her attractive. This would be the man's topside, conscious thought: that he finds this particular woman attractive. It seems simple enough, until you consider the subconscious thoughts and feelings which lie behind the man judging this woman attractive. These would include: the man's personal preferences of what constitutes attractive; the man's mood at the time; the man's physical and hormonal processes; and the man's various inhibitions and their influence. The components of his conscious thought would also extend to his sexuality, even going so far as to why he's attracted to women in the first place – all in all, an enormous amount of thoughts, feelings, memories, and influences, going back to early childhood. Yet, all this subconscious processing culminates in a single, straightforward thought: This woman is attractive. It evokes the pyramid illustration above, with the tiny capstone of conscious thought lying above the vast expanse of the subconscious.

In the end, the man's judgment of attractiveness would be his perception of the woman, which brings us to our next term.

PERCEPTION

Perception is someone's personal, individual way of seeing things. As I use perception, it could be compared with the ego, or the I, or whatever term you personally use to refer to your individuality.

Perception is, somehow or another, involved in most every mental process. It includes how someone sees themselves, others, and the outside world, as well as what is being said, done, or not done in that world. Everyone's perception is at least slightly different; sometimes, it is very different, to the extent of two people seeing the same thing wholly differently. In art classes, students are shown an object and told to paint it, after which the paintings will be radically different than one another. This discrepancy illustrates perception, where each painter sees something different in their mind, perhaps to the point of being unique to the individual.

Though, this description isn't saying much, for it can be very hard to grasp the concept of perception. To really understand perception in a total way, someone must see through another person's eyes and then compare that perception with their own. Since this is impossible, great amounts of time and experience are necessary to become truly aware of perception and its massive, far-reaching effects on thinking.

Let's go back to the man who judged a woman attractive. In this case, his finding the woman attractive is his perception of her, because this is how she appears in his eyes. However, once again, the man's conscious perception is only a fraction of what is occurring in his mind, for great amounts of subconscious processing are responsible for his judgment. Remember all the subconscious thoughts, feelings, memories, and influences listed above? These apply to the man's perception, also, with all these parts coming together to create a special picture in his mind. Ultimately, this mental picture determines how he sees the outside world, and gives way to his conscious thought of This woman is attractive. A basic breakdown of his judgment would be: subconscious processing -> creation of perception -> conscious thought. This process is very important to understand, as explained in future chapters.

To demonstrate perception further, let's consider a second man. This man sees the very same woman as the first, but he does not find her attractive. Why? Because the man perceives her differently. Which is to say, even though the woman is identical physically, in the outside world, she is different in the second man's mind, in his inner world. The second man is far different than the first, having been raised in another country and family. Therefore, the second man defines attractive differently than the first, because his subconscious mind processes the woman in a markedly different way, based on his preferences and other variables. All this comes together to create a completely different perception in the second man's mind, despite his observing the exact same woman.

As for which perception is right, the answer is: both and neither, since each perception is no more or less valid than the other – the perceptions are subjective, in other words.

Which brings up the next two terms: subjective thinking and objective thinking.

SUBJECTIVE AND OBJECTIVE THINKING

These two relate very much to perception.

In the dictionary, subjective is defined as relating to the nature of an object as it is known in the mind, as distinct from the object itself; while objective is existing independent of thought or an observer, as part of reality. Thus, subjective thinking would refer to someone's individual perception and inner reality, and objective thinking would refer to that which resides in outer reality, independent of anyone's thoughts or perceptions. To think subjectively would be to focus on how something exists in the mind, based on subconscious factors like those that led the man to judge the woman attractive. To think objectively, then, would be to suspend those personal preferences while judging the woman's attractiveness, therefore allowing it to be calculated on other, more universal factors.

In short, the subjective is what someone thinks they see, and the objective is what's actually there.

THOUGHT PROCESSES

A thought process is just as the name suggests: a series of mental actions and reactions which result in a completed thought. A person's thought processes are what could be collectively known as thinking, in the sense of thought having to be processed in some fashion.

Though a thought process may involve other, individual thoughts, these are distinguished from the final, finished thought. For instance, when deciding whether you're hungry or not, your mind will gather information relevant to the decision (how empty your stomach is, when you last ate, if it's appropriate to eat now), then process these individual thoughts into an answer to the original question, as either a yes or a no.

The actual thought process could be seen as a pathway in the mind, in which a task (such as determining hunger) will activate the pathway and trigger the smaller, individual thought processes necessary to fulfill that task. These secondary processes could be seen as loops and side-streets branching from the main process's pathway. Some thought processes we are born with, such as how to breathe or cry; others we learn as we grow and develop. Also, some thought processes have multiple, general uses, such as how to pick up an object, which could as easily be used to throw a baseball as it could to bite into an apple. On the other hand, some processes are more specialized and unique, such as that used for choosing clothes to wear. Then, a specialized pathway would activate and work through its predetermined route, gathering clothing-specific information such as which clothes were worn yesterday and what sort of activities are to be performed in the new clothes. Finally, the process will conclude, a decision will be made, and clothes will be chosen.

Much could be said about thought processes, including how to enhance and alter them, or how they physically affect the brain and its activity. These subjects will be addressed later in the book.

COMPROMISED STATE

A compromised state is any state of mind in which a person's thinking has been sufficiently distorted against actual reality.

This term is used very broadly, and could describe any number of conditions, for there are a great many ways to become compromised. For instance, a person could become compromised by an illness or other physical health problem, for these can reflect on thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. Or, a compromised state could arise from being stressed or upset. Bad weather, unpleasant work, boredom, anxiety, fear – all these can contribute to an altered state of mind, and, if such negative factors accumulate, they will eventually tip the scales until the person's thinking is compromised against reality.

Conversely, a normal, balanced state is one in which thinking is less distorted, so that feelings and perceptions are more attuned to actual, objective reality – so that someone may see what is. That is the ultimate metric used to determine a compromised state: is a person's thinking aligned with reality, or contrary to it?

AWARENESS AND UNAWARENESS

The next terms to be defined are awareness and unawareness.

I use these in the traditional sense, though I refer to them in regards to how they relate to the mind. In short, what someone is aware of can be defined as what they consciously know, in terms of the thoughts and feelings available to the conscious mind; meanwhile, what someone is unaware of refers to that known only subconsciously (or not at all). Returning to the example of the man who finds a woman attractive, his awareness would be limited to his conscious thought of This woman is attractive, while he would, for the most part, be unaware of the huge amount of subconscious perceptions and processing which brought that thought about. Another example would be a young child who picks up a sharp object for the first time, cutting their hand – because the child was unaware of the object's sharpness (and, perhaps, the very concept of sharpness).

The example of the attractive woman would involve unawareness due to the barrier between the man's conscious and subconscious minds. The example of the child would involve unawareness due to an outright lack of knowledge. However, in the end, the result is the same: unawareness of something that is real, be it subconscious thoughts or dangerous objects.

CONSCIOUS AWARENESS

Now, the last, and most important, term: conscious awareness. This is defined as being consciously aware of thinking and behavior, including that previously known only subconsciously (or not at all).

This concept draws on all the terms introduced thus far, as they all relate to conscious awareness in some fashion. Also, the term implies something fascinating: that the line separating the conscious and subconscious is not fixed. That is to say, that the line may be lowered, so that more thinking is done consciously instead of subconsciously. Be it subconscious perceptions, preferences, and influences, or subjective thinking when objective thinking is needed, or the gigantic repository of thoughts locked in the subconscious – we can become consciously aware of them all.

CHAPTER SUMMARY

In this chapter, the reader was introduced to a handful of the terms necessary to comprehend the rest of this book. These included:

The conscious mind and the subconscious mind, which are the top and the bottom minds, respectively.

Perception, which is someone's personal, unique way of seeing themselves, others, and the outside world.

Subjective and objective thinking, which involve thinking based on personal, mental factors rather than external, universal factors.

Thought processes, which are mental pathways used to perform tasks and calculations.

A compromised state, which is any state of mind in which thoughts and perceptions are vastly distorted against actual reality.

Awareness and unawareness, which is what someone knows, and that known either subconsciously or not at all.

And, conscious awareness, this being the concept of gaining awareness of previously subconscious thoughts and behavior.

Remember these terms and how they relate to your thoughts. They will be used repeatedly in the forthcoming chapters, as the book's core aim is to teach you the differences between the conscious and subconscious minds; between your perception and that of others; between subjective and objective thinking; and between awareness and unawareness.

These concepts form the foundation of learning yourself and your mind. In the end, the goal is conscious awareness of the self, and all the power it grants.

Chapter 2: Understanding Basic Behavior

You are a machine, or so modern psychology says.

Amongst many psychologists, there is agreement that the mind operates in a mechanical fashion, acting purely on urges and impulses the machine itself does not understand – that is, that you have no real choice in your behavior. In this model of the mind, your choices are illusions, since your actions are, really, dictated by subconscious factors unknown to the human machine.

As it were, this idea is mostly true – but only if you let it be. To be a machine, you must choose to be a machine.

There are two basic ways to think and operate: subconsciously or consciously. When operating subconsciously, a person acts primarily on subconscious urges and instincts, these dictated largely by what grants pleasure or avoids pain. Conscious operation, on the other hand, acts primarily on logic, principle, and actual reality, with less emphasis on impulsive feelings and what is painful or pleasurable. In everyday life, this amounts to someone choosing between what simply feels right (subconscious) or what they have logically evaluated to be right (conscious).

There are variations between these two extremes, where someone might operate on a balance of the two. But, generally, it is one or the other which tips the scales. Sometimes, the two modes might appear identical to the outside observer, as to create an illusion of similarity; however, this is just an illusion, albeit a convincing one. Operating subconsciously or consciously may produce similar behavior, but it is what lies behind this behavior that counts.

This is the difference between being a machine or not: whether you choose to act consciously or subconsciously.

TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT

Take, for example, the need to eat. Someone living in a subconscious mode will experience this need as something which feels right. And, therefore, the person will eat, their decision beginning and ending with this reason alone: that it feels right to do so. Conversely, someone operating more consciously would feel the same urge to eat, but this person would examine that urge, then perform similar evaluation on the food in question. Only then would the more conscious person eat.

Both ways of going about eating are functional – each person can decide to eat – but what lies behind that function is vastly different. This is made apparent when considering the consequences of each person's behavior. For the less conscious person, their impulses may lead them to eating something dangerous or unhealthy, or eating too much or eating it improperly – because, so long as it feels right, they'll do it. For the more conscious person, however, they can potentially avoid these downsides, so long as their logic and reasoning are accurate enough.

As a young child, I found some berries on a plant at the park. It felt right to eat these berries, so I did. My mother witnessed this, and was quick to give me ipecac so I could vomit. The berries weren't berries at all, but poisonous bulbs. Yet, eating this poison felt right, with no question of danger. Had I been acting more consciously, I may have questioned this notion and reconsidered the unfamiliar red fruit on the shrubs.

THE CONSCIOUS MACHINE

I repeat: modern psychology's conclusion that man is a machine is not entirely wrong. Man can act like a machine, and in very much the same way as described by psychological doctrine. But, just as easily, man can reject this and act differently. The difference is the person's being consciously aware of thoughts and actions, and using logic and reason to think before acting.

Here, a distinction must be made: conscious awareness does use logic and reason, but that's not to say conscious awareness is these things. This is important to understand, because subconscious operation will, also, use logic and reason, thus making it easily confused with sensible, conscious operation. The difference, however, is that this subconscious reasoning is often skewed and subjective, unlike the more objective reasoning seen in conscious operation. That is to say, just because someone thinks they're acting logically, doesn't mean they are.

As mentioned above, someone operating subconsciously has very little choice in their actions, due to being a prisoner of subconscious urges and impulses which feel right. But, to the person, it may not seem this way at all. Such a person might think they have logical reasons to act a certain way, but these are often false, being produced by the subconscious to give an illusion of sensibility. In reality, the one true factor in determining this person's behavior is what feels right to them on a deep, subconscious level, not whatever conscious reasons they may possess to this end.

Think of it this way: were this person to suddenly feel differently, they would produce just as many reasons for that behavior, even if the reasons directly contradict those of moments ago. These empty reasons are known as justifications, which are used simply to satisfy the conscious mind's demands for sensibility, like props on a stage. And, so long as someone is unaware of this subconscious process, these empty reasons will feel right in every way, just as the urge or impulse behind them will feel right. Thus, the person resembles the machine predicted by modern psychology.

Here, however, we see a bit of a paradox: if conscious awareness is a choice, and someone unaware of themselves is largely incapable of choice, how does someone choose to be consciously aware? Read on.

CHAPTER SUMMARY

There are two primary modes of thinking: consciously or subconsciously. The two may resemble one another on the surface, but, in reality, they are fundamentally different.

Someone operating subconsciously acts primarily on urges and impulses which feel right, a process which can produce false but sensible-sounding reasons in the conscious mind. Someone operating consciously, on the other hand, gains the ability of logically evaluating their thinking and behavior, giving way to conscious awareness of actual reality. Thus, a consciously aware person is able to make true choices, rather than the illusion of choice created by subconscious operation.

Chapter 3: Are You Seeing What's There?

Before someone can choose to be consciously aware of their mind, they must first be able to see reality – objective reality.

Again, objective reality is that which lies outside us, universally the same to everyone. Meanwhile, subjective reality is the opposite, an inner, individual reality created by the mind's personal perceptions of itself and the outside world. Thus, the world, and someone's subjective perception of the world, might not be one in the same. This is the basic nature of perception, and this is how we can potentially see what's not there or ignore what is. Furthermore, someone must correct this discrepancy between objective and subjective reality if they are ever to begin gaining self-awareness.

It comes down to this: in our natural state, we don't see things as they are, but as what we think they are, and this is our fatal flaw. That is to say, we see only a version of the outside world – that which arises after the subconscious has processed the world's raw, unfiltered reality. This subjective, filtered version of reality is known as a person's perception. Thus, the psychological mechanism which does the filtering is what I refer to as the perceptual filter.

THE PERCEPTUAL FILTER

The mind's perceptual filter is a basic concept, yet one which can have radical effects on how we see ourselves, others, and the world.

The term is defined literally, as a mental filter working on our perceptions, which magically changes how we see things. A very important thing to realize is that the perceptual filter lies in between the mind and any sensory input received by the body, as pictured below.

Why is this so important? Because it means that we subconsciously put ourselves into everything we see, striking the world a hybrid of actual reality and what we just perceive as reality. This habit can be dangerous, perhaps fatally so. Have you ever seen one of those cartoons where a picture of a road is placed on the road, with a brick wall behind it? When someone drives into that picture, thinking it's the road, the results aren't pretty. That's what the perceptual filter can do to reality: create an illusionary picture of a road, possibly concealing a dangerous trap.

Here is an exercise to demonstrate the perceptual filter firsthand. First, skim over the block of text below.

iAl plane woekmcl kiwoma q3802,a2kl082mdk 208djmC nalkwiepoiuy/ xjiqiejkaldk;xioejr milk maldk piel urpi milk ii20akxja;kd,/xoi ur?:P; plane WKajieow ijp;aIkl;a plane jwemJIaflewwka dkkadjiwpaiwiez,d mro >iaoiwejrmlx oraopiweuripaowe milk =]\akweko3 ;lkj plane ipoua8120 2%*awioe)*^^!802094k;ao iriejka dk;xioejrm aldkwp ieurpia milk oapwii2 0akxja; plane d,/x oiur?:P;AWK pq3802,a2kl0 82mdkl208 djmcnapq3802,a2kl08 plane 2m dkl208djmcnai*)@#wo \qerio milk ad-12

Now, skim the text while picking out the word milk.

Did you ignore the other text, filtering it in search of the specified word?

Next, ignore milk and pick out the word plane. Did the effect reflect this?

This is how the perceptual filter works in regards to reality in general, filtering out some things while focusing on others, perhaps until they are all we see. Ponder this effect, for it has great implications on how you see yourself, others, and the world.

INFLUENCE

Now, we've seen that the mind possesses something called a perceptual filter, which subconsciously alters how we see outside, objective reality. But, what determines exactly how reality is filtered? The answer: influence.

The subject of influence is very big, and will be addressed throughout this book. For now, I will define it broadly, as anything which alters someone's perception and the way it filters reality. This influence can take many, many forms, and originate from Within as well as Without. A person can be influenced by nearly anything: other people, the weather, illness, noise, emotion, environment, the written word. Often, someone's biggest influence is themselves and the components of their own mind, including things such as vested interest and psychological complexes (these to be introduced later). So long as something affects the mind in some way, it counts as an influence; and, so long as something is an influence, it can alter the perceptual filter and how a person sees things.

Also, influences need not be logical, or in any way based in reality. An influence can (and many times will) be illogical and baseless in nature, yet this lessens its effect none – because an influence influences. Illogical influences are, in fact, the chief way that someone may come to see what's not there or ignore what is. Thus, this raises an important question: if someone can be influenced to see things a certain way, how do they know if what they're seeing is objectively real, or just a mental illusion? This question is the thrust of the book.

A good example of influence is the exercise above, when I asked you to focus on a specific word within the block of text. When you did so, your mind was influenced in such a way that you perceived the block of text differently. This particular influence is called suggestion, and it is one that will be explored in-depth later on.

As it were, the many influences which create our perceptual filters are acquired throughout life. In fact, some psychologists view the mind as nothing more than an accumulation of these influences. To this I agree in part, because these influences do make up much of the mind, much like pieces of a puzzle. This is the typical manner in which someone's perceptual filter is forged: by a straightforward, chance accumulation of any number of influences acquired throughout the course of life, after which the person will see the world depending on those influences' complex interplay. In this way, a person is a prisoner of these influences, with perception dictated by them regardless of actual reality.

However, it doesn't have to be this way: a person does not have to be a prisoner of their perception and the various influences which filter it. Once consciously aware of the mind, a person is able to change their thoughts, perceptions, and whatever influences they possess, therefore bringing them closer to objective reality (and the empowerment which comes from doing so).

EGGS

Here is an example of general influence and its direct effect on the perceptual filter.

I grew up with an aversion to eggs. My aversion was not just to eating eggs, but to seeing them, touching them, smelling them – any contact with eggs. As a child and adolescent, this aversion went unquestioned, because it felt right for me to avoid eggs, though I had no idea why. Only as an adult did I pinpoint the cause: my mother had an identical aversion to eggs, and this had migrated to me over the course of my upbringing.

However, once aware of this influence, I realized how illogical it was. In fact, I had never before eaten an egg, so I really had no idea what they tasted like. Upon being confronted with this self-knowledge, I felt something shift inside of me, and, suddenly, eggs had lost their illogical appearance of ugliness and revulsion. From that point on, I ate eggs regularly.

My experience breaks down to this: my mother had unknowingly influenced me to dislike eggs, which altered my perceptual filter accordingly. Thus, it felt wrong for me to eat eggs, caused by a distorted perception of eggs – until I became consciously aware of this illogical aversion, which turned out to be completely baseless. The results were nothing less than miraculous: at once, I was able to eat all manner of eggs without hesitation – was even able to enjoy them. All because I had corrected an illogical, subconscious influence which was distorting my perceptual filter and how I saw the world.

As trivial as my experience may sound, its principle has far-reaching applications. Through the same, simple process of becoming consciously aware of perception and its subconscious influence, we can grow closer to learning ourselves and our minds, therefore shaping our subjective thoughts to be closer to objective reality.

CHAPTER SUMMARY

We've now been introduced to the mind's perceptual filter, a subconscious mechanism which shapes a person's subjective perceptions of the outside world.

In turn, this perceptual filter is shaped by influences, which are anything that make us think, feel, perceive, or behave differently. Influences may be logical, factual, and accurate; but they can just as easily be illogical and without basis in actual reality. Because of this, influences can alter a person's inner, subjective reality in such a way that it ceases to reflect outer, objective reality, creating a discrepancy between the two. The