Adult Jokes
By James David
3/5
()
About this ebook
Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.
This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter. We earnestly believe that our collections of hilarious jokes will displace your worries and gloom with lots of Ha-Ha’s.
James David
A prestigious author and journalist. Written more than 250 books. A freelance writer and writing is his passion.
Read more from James David
Vastu, Pyramid, Feng Shui Quiz Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Popular Jokes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Funny Jokes Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Adventure Trips of Ibn Battuta, Al-Beruni, Marco Polo & Abdur Razzaq Samarqandi Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Silly Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Children Jokes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Happier Jokes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Steve Jobs Speaks Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mother Teresa (A Brief Biography) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Evergreen Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lovers Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tales For Children Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Let's Travel In India, China, Russia & Bhutan Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related to Adult Jokes
Related ebooks
The New Adult Joke Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings300 Best Jokes: Dirty One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 2) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings300 Best Jokes: Clean One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 1) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Best Jokes on Earth Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings101 Dirty Adult Jokes! - Funny, hilarious and downright rude! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/540 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 4 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wife & Husband Jokes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Best Jokes: For Adults Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/540 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 6 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings40 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLovers Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/540 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 5 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Miscellaneous Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRaunchy Jokes for Guys Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/540 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe World’s Best Xxx Rated Joke Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAbsurdly Big Adult Joke Book Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sex Jokes: Be Naughty and Laugh Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Sex Jokes Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sexist Jokes: Be The Funny One in A Crowd Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Funniest Five Thousand Jokes, Part 2 Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sexual Bloopers: An Outrageous, Uncensored Collection of People's Most Embarrassing X-Rated Fumbles Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5100+ Insults Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hardcore Humor.....Your Phd In Dirty Jokes & Kickass Insults Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThree Hundred Quite Good Jokes. Volume One. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Dyslexic Walks Into a Bra: A compendium of the best jokes, gags and one-liners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5687 One-Liner Jokes Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Humor & Satire For You
Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5John Dies at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In a Holidaze Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Adult Jokes
5 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Adult Jokes - James David
Adult Jokes
By James David
Published by Mahesh Dutt Sharma
Smashwords Edition
© mds e-books 2014
Smashwords License Statement
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Preface
Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.
This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter. We earnestly believe that our collections of hilarious jokes will displace your worries and gloom with lots of Ha-Ha’s.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 1
A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.
After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.
The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. If neither of you objects,
the medic said, I could give it a try.
Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrust continued for several long minutes. Hey, what the hell is happening?
Change of plans,
The physician panted. I’m going to drown the little bastard!
************
One day this girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, My boyfriend bought me flowers for Valentine’s day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.
, and her friend replied, Why? Don’t you have a vase?
************
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger hugging his wife. He says, What the hell are you two doing?
His wife turns to the stranger and says, I told you he was stupid.
************
Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary’s pussy.
The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!
The waiter says, Can I help you, sir?
Gary yells, There’s a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!
The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes the spaghetti away. Mary looks over at Gary, and shaking her head, she whispers, What a hypocrite you are. You spent most of last night with your face full of hair.
Gary says, Yeah? Well, how long do you think I’d have stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there?
************
Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her Don’t walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!
Little Red started towards her grandmother’s house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he’ll suck your tits dry!
Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I’m going to suck your tits dry!
Oh no you don’t
, yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, You’re going to eat me just like the story says!
************
There were three guys that won a contest. They would get to spend a year in a room with anything they chose. The first guy loves to have sex. So they put him in a room for a year with over 200 girls to have sex with for a year.
The second guy loved to get drunk. So they put him in a room with every beer there ever was to drink for a year.
The third guy loved to smoke. So they put him in a room with every kind of cigarette there was to smoke.
Two hours later they hear the guy that loved to smoke banging on the door but they say fuck him, he’s in there for a year.
A year later they let them out. They first guy came out and he could barely walk, after how