There Goes Tokyo!

THERE GOES TOKYO!

A Smashing Celebration of Kaiju Eiga

a.k.a. A Fan’s Love of Giant Monster Movies

MICHAEL E. GRANT

Copyright © 2013 Michael E. Grant

www.latenighthorrors.com

Cover copyright © 2013 Derek Chiodo, http://www.ecovermakers.com

Copy editing by: http://www.ebookeditingpro.com

ebook formatting by: http://www.52novels.com

This book is a series of humorous reviews and reflections of movies focusing on giant monsters. The author assumes no ownership of names, characters, places, and incidents discussed in this work. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author, unless it becomes a matter of global importance pertaining to a Kaiju attack or a possible invasion from the populace of Planet X, Kilaak, or Seatopia.

All Pagodas were destroyed during the writing of this book.

Edition: October 2013

ISBN-13: 978-0615896465

ISBN-10: 0615896464

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

PRAISE FOR THERE GOES TOKYO!

My husband thinks he is funny. He also enjoys movies with giant monsters. I do not think my husband is funny, nor do I enjoy movies about giant monsters. Read this book and undoubtedly you will agree with one of us.

-Mrs. Grant, Author’s Wife

Hey Pal, don’t be a stinking rat! Read this book, baby!

-Glenn Amer, Ambassador to Planet X

Any serious fan of Kaiju Eiga knows he is NOT called Godzilla! He is Gojira! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this!

-BIGKaijuFan1138, Internet Nerd

Never have men in rubber suits delivered so much pleasure to one man.

-The Grants, Author’s Parents

You idiots! I command you to read this book! You will obey my orders! Read!

-Dr. Who, International Judas

This is a good book. Now I understand what all the late night shouting has been about. I thought I was missing a football game. By the way, I need my rake and hose back.

-Bob Cooper, Author’s Neighbor

If you ever tuned in for an afternoon movie on commercial TV simply to be amazed by giant monsters and the conflicts and destruction they engaged in…

…this book is dedicated to you.

You have your fear which might become reality,

and you have Godzilla which is reality.

-Steve Martin (played by Raymond Burr)

Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

History shows again and again,

how nature points up the folly of men.

-Blue Oyster Cult

Godzilla!

Up from the depths,

thirty stories high,

breathing fire,

his head in the sky,

Godzilla!

Godzilla!!

Godzilla!!!

-Hanna Barbera

Godzilla, cartoon theme song

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

GODZILLA KING OF THE MONSTERS!

GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN

RODAN

MOTHRA

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA

MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA

GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER

GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO

FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD

WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS

GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER

SON OF GODZILLA

KING KONG ESCAPES

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS

GODZILLA’S REVENGE

GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER

GODZILLA VS. GIGAN

GODZILLA VS. MEGALON

GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA

TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA

AMERICAN KAIJU EIGA BONUS

KING KONG (1933)

THEM

KING KONG (1976)

AFTERWARD

LATE NIGHT HORRORS POSTER CONTEST

TWO SELECTIONS FROM… IN 666 WORDS

TWO SELECTIONS FROM… READ AND DIE!

A SELECTION FROM…LATE NIGHT HORRORS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

KAIJU

From the Japanese for strange beast

Common English translation is giant monster when referring to the cinema of Japan

KAIJU EIGA

Giant Monster Movie!

INTRODUCTION:

KAIJU FOR ME! KAIJU FOR YOU!

Fair warning inside this book you will find countless deaths, incalculable destruction, dubious acting, and giant monsters galore!

From the age of five until fifteen (1975-85), I lived in the greatest period in American history to experience "Godzilla Movies" on television. During this ten-year stretch my television had numerous options to gateway me into the ever-expanding world of Kaiju Eiga: Creature Feature (Saturday afternoon), Monster Week (several times a year on weekday afternoon movies), and Chiller Theater (Friday midnight). There was no shortage of giant monsters in my home.

However as I entered my teens in the later 1980s fewer giant monster movies made it to the television airwaves in my area. As time progressed I began to forget my love for Kaiju Eiga. Then, a few years ago, a conversation with a friend rekindled my passion. The conversation went something like this:

Friend: Hey did you ever see the Godzilla movie where he talked?

Me: Godzilla talked? You mean growled.

Friend: No he talked – he spoke English.

Me: Really?

Friend: Remember the one where he flew?

Me: You mean where he drop-kicked Megalon?

Friend: No! Godzilla flew. He used his fire to fly. Like a plane!

Me: Wow, I’m not sure I saw that one.

Friend: I’m loaning you my tapes. You have to watch them again.

That moment changed my life and sparked a renewed appreciation for Kaiju Eiga. But I find it sad that people in 2013 do not have great access to the movies I will cover in this collection (thank goodness for those old VHS tapes). Currently the vast Instant-Demand Library of Netflix only has three – three!–Kaiju monster movies ready for instant viewing! My local Red Box is a Kaiju void! As for video stores…they’re going extinct faster than a Japanese Pagoda during a Kaiju attack!

My reviews in this book will allow the reader to come with me and experience a Kaiju Eiga journey of epic proportions. While it may seem as though I am mocking these movies, it should be noted that I am a die hard fan of any movie that involves giant monster mayhem.1 Be warned, spoilers run rampant in each review, as I feel it is more important to remind people that plot details are of secondary importance when compared to my three rules of Kaiju Eiga.

Kaiju Rule 1 – Monsters must destroy things for your entertainment.

Kaiju Rule 2 – Laughing out loud is mandatory.

Kaiju Rule 3 – You must be entertained at all times.

In my research (finding and repeatedly watching each movie) I was forced to make the decision of how much insider information the reader would appreciate. I erred on the side of technology. If people want to learn vast details about the production history or the background of the actors, this information is readily accessible through your computer, tablet, or phone. My mission is solely to guide you through the debris-strewn destruction of Tokyo and beyond the slopes of Monsterland Island, in the hopes that somewhere along this path you will develop or reawaken an appreciation for Kaiju Eiga.

All of the Japanese movies I summarize in this collection will be from what is referred to as the Showa series (movies made before the death of Emperor Hirohito). This era of Godzilla movie was, for the most part, family friendly. These were the movies that made it to the various TV creature-feature broadcasts which had sadly faded away by the mid 1980s. But in their prime, what thrills there were whenever the new TV Guide was delivered and a fan could furiously flip the pages searching for any weekly offerings involving giant monsters and cities being left in a fiery wake.

That said, let’s see what Kaiju is rising out of the darkest ocean depths and swimming from Monsterland Island to cause all of mankind to tremble in fear…and remember in the basic American simplification of those three Kaiju Rules: let’s laugh, have fun, and watch some shit blow up.

GODZILLA:

KING

OF THE

MONSTERS!

If he saw a monster, he’s had too much sake.

If you’re at all interested in Kaiju Eiga, then it’s time to start our journey. We really should begin with the granddaddy of them all: from Toho studios comes the 1956 classic, Godzilla: King of the Monsters!1 Now, right off the bat I know there will be fanboys out there crying, "No Mike, Godzilla came out in Japan in 1954! And, the movie was called Gojira!" If you’re that person I will now direct you to go back a few pages and immerse yourself in this book’s well written introduction.

And for the rest…we proceed…

Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is the birth place of Kaiju and the starting point of the Showa Era which is the focus of this book. It is also a great movie, but, oddly, the one Godzilla film I was not a fan of as a youth. After being deluged with many of the later Godzilla movies, this film was quite a shock to my young brain when I tuned in only to be greeted by an unsettling, somber movie delivered in the equally unsettling visual art form known as black and white! Seriously, the most vivid memory I have of my first exposure to this movie was walking across the living room, hitting the side of our TV, and then turning the dial (yes, I am that old) back-and-forth to different channels to make sure the color setting wasn’t malfunctioning. Had I been a few years older I most likely would have followed this up by picking up the phone and dialing our local WXYZ station and informing them, You are accidentally showing the four o’clock movie in…(ack)…black and white! Fix this promptly or I shall ask my parents to remove our antenna so we can stop watching all of your free programming!

Those problems of a young child in the Midwest pale when compared to the symbolic message displayed on my television as the people of Japan rightly dealt with the atomic devastation of their country by focusing on the aftermath and the subsequent birth of a giant irradiated prehistoric lizard. Over repeated viewings, it became obvious to me how US filmmakers inserted American actor Raymond Burr throughout the Japanese movie. I’m guessing if this version ever aired in Japan that nation soon had a new source of national derision as America soiled their powerful message movie with a second-class actor.2

Eighty-four minutes of celluloid history created a franchise that would last forever (and give birth to at least one great book whose sole purpose is admiration for Kaiju Eiga). The movie begins with reporter Steve Martin (not so much the wild and crazy guy variety) stopping off in Japan. Luckily, he brought his cigarettes and pipe, since our main protagonist will spend more time smoking than having a participatory role in the action and destruction that take place all around him. At varying spots throughout the movie Martin does have time to contact his editor at the United World News, in Chicago, to relay some of the information he’s recorded.

I view these moments much like in an episode of the classic television show Kolchak: The Night Stalker when Carl Kolchak would contact his editor with stories about vampires, werewolves, and mummies. Inevitably his editor would blow up at him and tell him he was out of his mind. Here, though, Martin seems to carry more clout, although his reporting and interviewing skills leave a lot to be desired. It’s doubtful his skills are showcased in any college-level journalism courses. Steve Martin is no Woodward and Bernstein, but he’s at least confident enough in his own abilities to deliver lines like, Terrible sea of fire engulfs all…sign it ‘Steve Martin.’ You want to talk about balls the size of…well, Godzilla. Martin always makes it clear to the editor that, Crazy shit is going down and I stand by my story, so be sure my name is attached at all times. I’m guessing the Pulitzer that year was pretty much locked up after the debris was cleared and people could actually find the Pulitzer.

Martin is in Japan for a social visit. Impeccable timing, since Godzilla will be dropping by shortly for his own social visit. While at this point the people of Japan don’t know who Godzilla is, everyone knows Steve Martin (and not just because he sings that King Tut song). Steve is in town to visit his good friends, Dr. Yamane, Emiko, Ogata, and the semi-mysterious Dr. Serizawa. Of these good friends, none appear to want to share actual screen time with Martin in fact, they regularly face away from the camera only allowing us views of the backs of their heads. Eye contact and line of site be damned, even when a meaningful conversation is expected.3

No sooner has Martin pulled out his pipe in the land of the Rising Sun than a bevy of cargo ships burst into flame. Not only do they catch fire, they sink like a bowling ball, ignoring all scientific theories of buoyancy. Martin gets wind of the story and heads to Odo Island just as a powerful ocean storm strikes. To give you an idea of the intensity of this typhoon, it’s strong enough to interrupt Martin as he lies in his tent-bed smoking. The storm brings rain, wind, and lightning, but there seems to be an added bonus. Loud thundering pounding footsteps? Perhaps a roar? Martin’s coverage of the storm sums it up as, It was more than rain, wind, and lightning.4

We’re now about twenty-eight minutes into the movie. The controlling interest at Toho knew it was time for a reveal, lest the audience think this movie was merely about casual reporting, freak island storms, and boating disasters. The occupants of Odo Island run from their village up into the mountains, where they are greeted by everyone’s first view of Godzilla: King of the Monsters! People scream, people run, and Steve Martin knows that he’s stumbled onto the story of a lifetime. It’s big and terrible and more frightening than I thought possible.5

It’s clear the United World News is sitting on a big scoop. The movie handles this well, in spite of Godzilla being – a man in a rubber suit6, using solid editing to enhance the sense of awe and menace of the surroundings.

Luckily, the Japanese military isn’t really interested in explanations. They immediately set their fleet into full action and depth charge the hell out of the ocean where Godzilla was last sighted. The montage footage is taken from a military film reel. It made me curious whether it was from World War II or simply film of naval exercises but I wasn’t curious enough to research the matter, I mean, I’m watching Godzilla: King of the Monsters!7

One doctor, however, states that his fear is that Godzilla was spawned from Spandium-90 and the repeated use of H-Bombs. That’s pretty much the only acknowledgement of this sort of thing in the American version of the movie: however, I’m betting the Japanese version, Gojira8 is littered with references to the amounts of American-induced atomic radiation that contaminated their country.

After this small bombardment the military has clearly won and Godzilla is dead. So Steve Martin heads back to Tokyo to reconnect with his friends. There’s eye-patch wearing Dr. Serizawa, the typical scientist who only has eye for his work. Serizawa has overlooked beautiful Emiko for too long, and she’s drifted toward strong-fellow Ogata. In a last-ditch effort to win back Emiko’s love, Serizawa tosses a small disc-invention into a fish tank, but instead of sighing in awe and appreciation for his work, she screams in horror. The effect of this disc is never displayed, however it’s dangerous enough that Serizawa wears gloves while he handles the device. Except then he doesn’t remove his gloves, not even when Emiko runs into his arms and he protectively holds her.

Now, I have had extensive Blood Borne Pathogen training, and I know for a fact that in a laboratory you need to take those gloves off and dispose of them in a proper fashion. Otherwise scientists would be tossing devices into fish tanks and then eating a sandwich or taking a piss, and then who knows what’s ending up in their Albacore or on their glans? Perhaps Emiko left Serizawa after his demonstration of poor laboratory safety methods?

Meanwhile, there’s a lot happening in Tokyo, but nothing that Martin can really lock his reporting chops into. We mainly see him smoke his pipe and long for a real juicy story that’s going to make this entire trip worthwhile and allow him to write it off as work related on his taxes.

Godzilla solves all of Martin’s problems.

I know you’re saying, Wait a minute Mike, you said the military killed Godzilla. Yeah, well turns out I was wrong. Because if they had succeeded then Godzilla: King of the Monsters! would only be about forty-eight minutes long. That would be unacceptable, and definitely not worthy of the exclamation marks we are required to use when referring to the movie.

So, one night Godzilla lumbers out of Tokyo Harbor: he’s decided it’s time to show Japan who’s the new boss. Godzilla destroys some dock area and a few power lines. Then, in a colossal mess of poor scheduling, the Japan Rail train happens to drive past, and Godzilla pays homage to King Kong by assuring the destruction of any form of mass transit that passes within his reach. Godzilla didn’t make the rules, but damned if he doesn’t live by them.

This is a nice scene, and works surprisingly well, thanks to the black-and-white imagery. The shadows help hide wirework, and Godzilla is pretty scary, being a cross between a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a fire breathing dragon. Although people mock men in monster costumes, the scene works because it has a realism in movement and destruction that the stop motion effects of King Kong could not deliver. The Godzilla presented in this movie reaches a level of fright that future versions were unable (or unwilling) to attempt.

Here’s the problem now facing Japan in the movie: they didn’t get the memo that they are dealing with Godzilla: King of the Monsters! The military is mobilizing again, and this time thrilling music accompanies the procession. I get excited when I hear that music, but Kaiju tend to become equally infuriated thus guaranteeing destruction levels to match the bass (or as Spinal Tap would say, Turning it up to ‘11.’) Once those tanks and jets are all in position, Godzilla rises out of the bay again to teach another harsh lesson to the Land of the Rising Sun.

A prehistoric monster the Japanese call Godzilla is walking out of Tokyo Bay. He’s as tall as a thirty-story building! That’s Steve Martin handling the play-by-play as some serious shit goes down. Had Blue Oyster Cult been formed in 1956, this would have been the ideal time for the lyrics Oh no! There goes Tokyo! to be playing in the background. Much like when Arnold Schwarzenegger stopped off at a Los Angeles police station in The Terminator, Godzilla isn’t fucking around anymore.9 There’s stomping, smashing, and the coup de grace when Godzilla huffs out some acid, followed by his trademark radioactive breath. Martin’s on the microphone, Neither man nor his machines can stop this creature! Probably not his most descriptive reporting, but I’m sure the editors at the United World News will punch it up with some adjectives to sell more copies.

Godzilla’s not done by damn sight. As the fire and explosions spread across town, a whole gaggle of Japanese reporters and photographers have massed together on a radio tower to see who can get the best view of this disaster. Luckily, Godzilla aims to help each of them score primo pictures and first-hand accounts. In what is arguably the best-ever illustration of how flash photography provokes animals, Godzilla brings down the entire tower! There’s a neat on-board viewpoint that shows the tipping and eventual plummet of each of these screaming newshounds as they meet their death. If these eager beavers had followed the lead of veteran Steve Martin they might have avoided Godzilla’s wrath.

But, wait! Before Martin can reach for his next tobacco fix, Godzilla has turned his insatiable anger on the very building where our American eye-witness is relaying all of these exciting details. This is it, George! Steve Martin signing off from Tokyo, Japan! And with those heroic words the ceiling collapses on Martin.

With the American down for the count, Godzilla has time for one final bridge flip, delivered in real fuck you-style to the people of Japan. I think everyone can agree that this was totally unnecessary.

The survivors of this rampage are taken to over-crowded medical facilities where they are first tested with Geiger counters before being given a space on the floor. Steve Martin passes his radiation test and meets Emiko who (in a painfully awkward exchange at 1:01:00) decides to fill in the details of what, exactly, Dr. Serizawa was up to all those scenes back, when he dropped his device into the fish tank.

The device is called an Oxygen Destroyer, and it is capable of removing all the O from H20. It works like the world’s worst Alka-Seltzer. All of the fish inside that tank were quickly dissolved. However, I did notice that a large amount of water still remained in the tank. If all the oxygen had been removed then instead of water this tank should simply be filled with H2. Now I’m not a scientist but H2 is simply a molecule of hydrogen and it really shouldn’t look like water. But maybe the Mythbusters can tackle this item for us–we’ve still got Godzilla to deal with.

Fish in Dr. Serizawa’s possession have a shorter shelf life than the critters in the tanks at Red Lobster on Good Friday. With nothing more to prove and his love life in disarray, Dr. Serizawa is talked into using his device on Godzilla. A boat is readied, Dr. Serizawa, Ogata, and Emiko are front and center to wage an assault on Godzilla. Steve Martin is along for the ride, observing from the sidelines as our faithful reporter-hero has been trained to do. Dr. Serizawa dons a heavy diving bell suit and descends into Tokyo Bay looking for Godzilla. The Oxygen Destroyer is activated as Godzilla awakens from his nap and approaches over some underwater hills. Dr. Serizawa’s only faithful love is the science of invention, so he cuts his safety line and embraces the Oxygen Destroyer as Godzilla moves in for the kill. Much like the active ingredient in Scrubbing Bubbles, the bubbles do the scrubbing so the people of Japan don’t have to.

Godzilla’s skin is dissolved…and then his bones melt away, as Steve Martin finalizes his Story of the Century…

People of the World, Godzilla is dead!

Final Thoughts

Just that fast, the movie is over! Apparently in 1956 cleaning out a theater and ushering in the next audience took the place of fussy production-value details like allowing a movie to conclude with any form of dramatic pacing. This abrupt end becomes a staple of pretty much all Kaiju Eiga. Once the monster has been vanquished, don’t blink, or you’ll find that the movie has completely wrapped up and the lights have been turned on and you’re being asked to leave. (This is awkward and unsettling if you happen to be watching the movie at home…)

Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is a better movie than I remembered from my youth. As a child I was always more enamored with the Godzilla movies that included multiple monsters, or those that incorporated a vs. in the title. For a movie that essentially revolves around a man in a rubber-monster suit, Godzilla has a gravity that you seldom experience in Kaiju Eiga. Certainly the aftermath of the atomic bombs helps maintain the serious message about man’s tampering with forces beyond his control and the unforeseen calamity that may erupt years later. It’s a cryptic message that was also touched upon in Them! (See Bonus Review #2 – and, where do they get off stealing that exclamation point?) When a Kaiju-centered movie handles a gripping message this deftly, it alters the overall experience in a good way. When a Kaiju movie completely stumbles with the message and beats you over the head with it, you end up with a piece of junk called Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster.

Truly, Godzilla: King of the Monsters! is a solid movie. The laughter is solely gained from the inclusion of the extra scenes of Raymond Burr’s character (and the original filmmakers had nothing to do with that) and with his overall impotence throughout the proceedings. I am embarrassed to admit I have never seen the original Gojira. I should watch it sometime since I do own it, but my love for the Americanized version and the nostalgia it provides tend to override my need to experience the original uncut film.

With my praise of this movie complete, several questions still linger.

What happened to the fishing industry in Japan? If Serizawa’s Oxygen Destroyer removed all of the oxygen from the water, certainly enough to dissolve both Godzilla and himself, it stands to reason that millions of fish were equally killed. I would have to imagine the price of sushi went through the roof.

How did Dr. Serizawa get that eye-patch? For a mild-mannered, fish-killing scientist, Serizawa sports some real tough-guy eye-wear. Was he formerly with the military? Or is this a result of his patented bad lab etiquette? After all, you never see the good doctor put on even one set of safety glasses.

Where will Steve Martin’s globe-trotting reporting take him next? What adventures await his causal observations from the sideline? Does he turn into one of those annoying people who simply sit around the newsroom talking about Godzilla? I imagine that when Neil Armstrong took his first steps on the moon, Martin was sitting in front of a TV with the other employees at the United World News and telling everyone, That’s pretty impressive, it reminds me of the time Godzilla destroyed Tokyo and I was there to see it firsthand. Inevitably this would be met by eye rolling from his cohort who must endure this story on a weekly basis.

Finally the big question is: Will Godzilla ever return?

I feel comfortable in saying that, thanks to Dr. Serizawa’s brilliance and his personal sacrifice, the people of Japan are now safe and have nothing more to fear from any form of giant monster.

Kaiju Rule 1: Monsters must destroy things for your entertainment.

Excellent. Godzilla does a solid amount of destruction!

Kaiju Rule 2: Laughing out loud is mandatory.

Average. Although this is the most serious entry for Kaiju Eiga, chuckles can still be found thanks to Steve Martin’s interactions with people who clearly exist in another movie.

Kaiju Rule 3: You must be entertained at all times.

Excellent. There’s plenty going on with Godzilla: King of the Monsters! that even Kaiju Eiga newbies or non-fans will be entertained.

YOUR KAIJU EIGA CHECKLIST:

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS!

How accurate is the title?: Since Godzilla started the entire Kaiju Eiga genre, the title is 100% accurate. Godzilla is in the movie, and based on the damage he does he makes a strong case for both being called King of the Monsters and for claiming eternal use of all exclamation marks after the title.

Original Japanese Title: Gojira

One Sentence Synopsis: The horrors of atomic radiation spawn Godzilla, who unleashes his own brand of horror on the people of Tokyo before they successfully melt him.

Our Moral Message: The use of nuclear powered weapons may unleash disastrous monsters upon society.

Kaiju entrance: Godzilla appears over a mountainside and roars. Villagers of Odo Island stop and take many pictures, thus ensuring stereotypes that will persist for decades.

Good Kaiju: None

Bad Kaiju: Godzilla

Kaiju Timeline: First entry into Japanese Kaiju Eiga.

First line of dialogue when people see Kaiju: Look at the size of those footprints.

Kaiju firsts: Godzilla meets Tokyo. Godzilla attacks Tokyo and levels towers, buildings, the mobile military, and pretty much everything in his path. There goes Tokyo…indeed. Godzilla meets Raymond Burr (a sizable US acting import).

How bad is the situation?: It’s big and terrible and more frightening than I thought possible.

Best intended moment of the movie: Godzilla’s Tokyo attack, which levels at least fifty percent of the city and is capped with the F-U bridge flip.

Best accidental moment of the movie: Godzilla decides to take precision aim at one lone police car. The explosion kills several officers one of whom dies with a girlish scream (the Anti-Wilhelm Scream if you will). Look for it at 53:47.

Single most quotable line of dialogue: You have your fear, which might become reality, and you have Godzilla which is reality.

Best action moment: When fifty percent of Tokyo becomes property Ready to Build.

Total amount of destruction: Flaming boats sunk, wrecked train, burned tanks, radio towers toppled, electrical towers ripped low, and skyscrapers that drop faster than you can say Jenga!

Body count: Off-screen, thousands. On-screen, people get burned alive and several unwillingly plummet to their deaths or are buried under rubble. Dr. Serizawa melts. Godzilla melts.

Last line of dialogue: The menace was gone, so was a great man, but the whole world could wake up and live again.

Kaiju exit: Godzilla’s nap is ruined by the Oxygen Destroyer, which melts his skin and then dissolves his bones. Tough to bounce back from this one.

GODZILLA

RAIDS

AGAIN

Our big worry is, instead of one monster, now there are two.

It is inevitable that any time a movie studio churns out a great movie, that there is greater than a eighty-five percent chance that the immediate sequel will