How to Speak Your Mind: Become Assertive and Set Limits
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About this ebook
Do you say what you think, express how you feel, and ask for what you want? The way you speak immediately conveys your self-esteem. Nonassertive communication limits your professional success and leads to conflict and problems in relationships. Learning to be assertive actually raises your self-esteem, while benefiting your career, relationships, and sense of well-being.
"How to Speak Your Mind" explains what it means to be assertive, why it's important, and how to achieve it. It details all of the elements of assertive and nonverbal communication and lays out the steps to become assertive, as well as common mistakes to avoid.
Once you learn to be assertive, you're ready to establish boundaries with people. The book explains what it means to have limits and a bottom line and how to determine what yours are. The next section shows you how to go about verbalizing your boundaries in a way that will be effective.
Darlene Lancer JD LMFT
Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist. She is a relationship expert and author of "Codependency for Dummies" and "Conquering Codependency and Shame: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You," as well as five ebooks. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. She’s a sought after speaker at national conferences, in media, and to professional groups and institutions. Her articles have been published widely in professional and popular periodicals. More information about her seminars and coaching packages are available on her website, http://www.whatiscodependency.com, where you can subscribe to her blogs and get a free copy of “14 Tips for Letting Go.” Find her on http://www.youtube.com, Twitter @darlenelancer, and http://Facebook.com/codependencyrecoveryHer articles have been published widely in professional and popular periodicals. You can find her blogs at www.WhatisCodependency.com and www.Darlenelancer.com. More information about her seminars and coaching packages are available on her website, www.whatiscodependency.com.
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Reviews for How to Speak Your Mind
22 ratings3 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5gREAT BOOK. I LOVE THE INSIGHTS IT OFFERS. VERY INFORMATIONAL AND FULL OF GOOD KNOWLEDGE. I TEND TO PRACTICE SOME OF THE THINGS LISTED IN THIS BOOK TO PRACTICE IN HOPES TO BOOST MY SELF ESTEEM, AND BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE TOWARDS OTHERS, AND MYSELF.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very concise. I FEEL it is definitely worth many readings for regular reinforcement
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It is an okay book. There is some amount of practicality to the information in the book. There were however areas of incorrect grammar that was a bit off putting. But overall, it is an okay book.
Book preview
How to Speak Your Mind - Darlene Lancer JD LMFT
How to Speak Your Mind – Become Assertive and Set Limits
Darlene Lancer
©2012, 2014 Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying), recording, or otherwise – without prior permission in writing from the author.
The information in this book is intended to be educational and not for diagnosis, prescription, or treatment of any mental health disorder. Without a personal, individual, professional consultation with you, the author is unable to give you professional psychological advice. Hence, you understand that the material contained herein is general in nature, and the author disclaims any personal liability, directly or indirectly for suggestions and information in this book.
Smashwords Edition
Printed in the United States of America
Learn more at www.darlenelancer.com and www.whatiscodependency.com.
Table of Contents
How to Speak Your Mind – Become Assertive and Set Limit
What is Assertive Communication?
Why be Assertive?
Nonverbal Communication
Elements of Assertive Communication
1. Be Congruent
2. Be Courteous
3. Be Concise
4. Be Direct
5. Be Aware and Listen
6. Take positions
Learning Assertiveness
Understanding Boundaries
Why Have Boundaries
Believe You Have Rights
Establishing Boundaries
What’s Your Bottom Line?
Setting Limits
Get Support
About the Author
How to Speak Your Mind – Become Assertive and Set Limits
Communication is so important that it can make or break a relationship and is critical to success. It instantly reflects your self-esteem to listeners – for better or for worse. Speaking your mind with assertive communication commands respect, projects confidence, and inspires influence.
Communication is learned. With practice, you can learn to communicate assertively, which will raise your self-esteem and self-assurance and improve your relationships and professional performance.
What is Assertive Communication?
____________________________________________________________________________
What is Assertive Communication?
Assertive communication is respectful, direct, honest, open, non-threatening, and non-defensive. It’s neither passive, nor aggressive, and isn’t passive-aggressive. Consider your communication style. Do you usually go along with others