Mealtime Solutions For Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage

Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler

The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage

Ann Douglas

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Praise

Medical Disclaimer

Dedication

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Introduction

Chapter 1: What’s on Tap? In Praise of the Liquid Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

Chapter 2: That Lovin’ Spoonful: Introducing Solids

Chapter 3: Mr. Spaghetti Head: Added Tastes and Textures for Baby

Chapter 4: Your Top Toddler Mealtime Mysteries Solved

Chapter 5: The Discriminating Diner: Feeding Your Preschooler

Chapter 6: Dining in and Dining out

Chapter 7: No More Food Fights

Chapter 8: When Your Child Is Sick

Food Tools

Appendix A: Directory of Organizations

Appendix B: Directory of On-line Resources

Appendix C: Further Reading

Copyright

About the Publisher

Praise for Ann Douglas’ Mother of All series:

Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler

For sleep deprived Moms desperate to emerge from a bleary-eyed state of newborn or toddler exhaustion, help has arrived from parenting guru Ann Douglas.

—Stacy DeBroff, author of The Mom Book: 4278 Tips from Moms for Moms and the founder of MomCentral.com

A one-stop, no-guilt answer book on sleep where *every* bleary-eyed parent can find wise, rational advice on any sleep issue from A to ZZZZZs.

—Paula Spence, contributing editor to Parenting and Baby Talk magazines

The Mother of All Baby Books

With humor, sensitivity, an easy, no jargon style, and a million ‘extras’ that the leading baby books on the shelves don’t cover, Ann Douglas holds nothing back. Finally, a baby book written for women of my generation!

—M. Sara Rosenthal, author of The Breastfeeding Sourcebook, and founder of www.sarahealth.com

"The Mother of All Baby Books provides excellent advice for topics that are easily overlooked during the pregnancy/baby adventure. The real life examples do a superb job supporting these topics in addition to giving you creative ideas on how you can implement these helpful suggestions into your life."

—Sandra Gookin, co-author of Parenting For Dummies, and Parenting For Dummies, 2nd Edition

The Mother of All Parenting Books

This book has all the answers that are missing from other parenting books! It’s honest, complete, well researched . . . and not preachy. Finally, a book I can hand to parents with confidence that they will not end up feeling guilty.

—Dr. Cathryn Tobin, author of The Parent’s Problem Solver

The Mother of All Parenting Books is a comprehensive guidebook designed to help moms and dads cope with the day-to-day demands of parenting. Because this very practical book is written in an easy-to-read, parent-friendly style, it is the kind of book parents can turn to again and again.

—Nancy Samalin, best-selling author of four parenting books including Loving Your Child is Not Enough and Loving Without Spoiling

Medical Disclaimer

This book is designed to provide you with general information about some of the general food, nutrition, and mealtime behavior problems that babies, toddlers, and preschoolers may experience as well as some general health and medical conditions that may contribute to those problems. It does not contain medical advice. Rather, it is intended to provide information so that you can be a more informed health consumer and parent.

This book is not intended to provide a complete or exhaustive treatment of this subject, nor is it a substitute for advice from your physician, who knows you and your child best. Seek medical attention promptly for any specific medical condition or problem that your child may have and do not administer medication to your child without obtaining medical advice.

All efforts were made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication as of the original date of writing. The author and the publisher expressly disclaim any responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained herein. While the parties believe that the contents of this publication are accurate, a licensed medical practitioner should be consulted in the event that medical advice is desired.

The information contained in this book does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement with respect to any company or product.

TO NEIL:

For reasons too numerous to put into a dedication.

Thank you for your ongoing love and support.

Acknowledgments

Back when this book was just at the recipe stage, I sent an e-mail out asking for parents who might be interested in being interviewed for a book on babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and food. It didn’t take long for that e-mail to take on a life of its own. Thanks to a wonderful boost from the National Association of Mothers’ Centers (www.motherscenters.org), who were kind enough to tell their members that I was looking for parents to interview for this book and its sister book, Sleeptime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler: The Ultimate No Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage, my in-box soon overflowed with e-mails from parents who were eager to tell me what they had learned around the dinner table that might be helpful to other parents who were struggling in the mealtime trenches.

Because those parents’ voices are the heart and soul of the books in The Mother of All Solutions™ series—along with the books’ sister series, The Mother of All® Books series—it only seems fitting to give those parents star-billing. So a huge thank you goes out to the following moms and dads for sharing so much of their lives with me:

Carolyn Amantea, Pam Aziz, Erin Bailey, Pam Baribeault, Doris S. Bauer, Christina Beemans, Karen Bester, Lidia Bhaskar, Tanys Bingham, Susan Blackmer, Erin Branchflower, Rowan Bupp, Karyn Byrne, Lora Carinci-Provenzano, Brandy Carrelli, Chris M. Casalo, Jodi Cecchi, Lolita Chakravarti, Helen Chanfat, Tracy Clark, Lisa Clarke, Jessica Corey-Butler, KJ Dell’Antonia, Aura Delorme, Kelly Demcher, Sharon DeVellis, Jennifer Dodds, Stephanie Dolejsi, Danielle Donders, Natalie Donders, Elisabeth Doyle, Lisa D’Souza, Jamie Duckworth, Kathy Dudych, Lori Eisen, Kimberly Ellery, Anna Epp, Naomi Epstein, Amanda Farris, Barbara Fauvelle, Christine Fiorini, Kristy Frais, Bonnie Frampton Faust, Trudy A. Kelly Forsythe, Dawn Friedman, Jacqueline Goicoechea, Marla Good, Jenn Goodwin, Sarah Gratta, Stacey Greenberg, Cynthia Grimm, Joanne Guerard, Tracie Gustavsen, Barb Haines, Clare Harkin, Natasha Hartley, Rachel Hartman, Cheri Hearty, Jennifer Henderson, David Henley, Jenny Henley, Patti Hermes, Kelli Herold, Christine Hibbard, Julie Hornick-Martyk, Monica Hoyle, Brenda Hubbard, Heather Hudson, Chantal Hutchison, Sue Hunt, Gillian Hutchison Perry, Mary Ierullo, Olga Ingrahm, Nancy Irvin, Ali James, Nikita Jameson, Bonnie Jarvis, Shelley Jonker, Kelli Kemery, Jenna Kern-Rugile, Kari Kiazyk, Suzanne King, Mary Lynn Kitaura, Joan Kogan, Michelle Kogan, Shaila Klosterman, Janine Lake, Robyn Lampman, Jennifer Lee, Josée Leon, Karen Marie Lindsey, Kimberley Lok, Melanie Lopez, Carolyn Loy, Rowena Luk, Kira Lyttik, Patricia Marrero, Sheena Martin, Sarah Masterson, Karen Mazza, Wendy MacDonald, Shana McEachren, Melissa McEathron, Lisa MacLachlan, Amber McInnis, Shelagh McIntyre, Sharleen McKinnon, Kathleen Meckley, Trina Medves, Suzanne Meyers, Michelle R. Milczanowski, Rebecca Mills, Fiona Miyoshi, Laura Morrison, Corinna Mulligan, Patrizia Murrero, Chelsea Nash Wolfe, Lesley Marian Neilson, Sharon Newton, Emily O’Brien, Tami O’Dette, Kerri Paquette, Amish Parikh, Gail Parikh, Julie Pellerin, Jennifer Penick, Brenda Petersen, Michele K. Petick, Kirsty Phillips, Maria Phillips, Sarah Phillips, Stephanie Phoenix, Michelle Podnar, Jen Polk, Stefania Pomponi Butler, Lauren Proto, Keri Puglisi, Pearl Quan, Tracy Woodman-Raymond, Di Linh Reichman, Sarah Richards, Rebecca Richman, Amanda Roberts, Samantha Robinson, Judy Roche, Lisa Romeo, Lorna Ronald, Elizabeth Russell, Judith Santoro, Kris Schellekens, Dianne Scott, Christine Silliphant, Leslie Solomonian, Alyssa Slansky, Christopher Smith, Denise Smith, Marie Stone, Janine Straf, Ana Stranaghan, Kathy Succee, Susan Suh, Reanna Sutton, Cathleen Takahashi, Winnie Tam, Britton Taylor, Dana Taylor, Monica Taylor, Shannon Taylor, Laura Tedesco, Christine Tiernan, Jaime Trtik, Andrea Trump, Lisa Vallier, Claire Wafer, Sarah Waite, Pamela Wiktorski, Michelle Williamson, Christine Willson, Sue Wilson, Karen Winton, Amy Wadsworth, Marina Wolanski, Ellery Wood, Tracy Woodman-Raymond

Thank you all.

Next, I would like to thank the book’s technical reviewers for their incredibly thorough, detailed, and thoughtful comments on the book’s manuscript:

• Laura Devine, RN, a nurse and family educator with the Ontario Early Years Centre in Peterborough, Ontario, and the mother of four fabulous preteen and teenage boys;

• Marla Good, an editorial consultant and the proud mother of two-year-old Josephine (who, seemingly determined to prove to the world that not all toddlers hate vegetables, adopted a sweet potato as a special friend during the writing of this book);

• Skylar Hill-Jackson, founder of Baby and Me Fitness, an organization that has been offering innovative health and fitness programs to mothers and babies in Toronto for over 20 years, including highly popular workshops on making natural baby foods, and the mother of two daughters and a son;

• Cathy L. Kerr, MA, an early childhood consultant who works with children who have special needs (including feeding issues) and the mother of two school-age daughters;

• Wendy Reingold, RD, a registered dietitian in private practice who gave birth to twins halfway through the writing of this book—and who nonetheless managed to review chapters and breast-feed those babies without missing a beat. (Wendy, I am speechless.)

I would also like to thank the hard-working staff of Wiley Canada, especially my publisher Jennifer Smith, who is just as skilled an author cheerleader as she is a publishing dynamo; my editors Joan Whitman (who exited stage left to have baby number two after Chapter One) and Valerie Ahwee and Leah Fairbank (who proved to be totally delightful understudies); project manager Liz McCurdy and project coordinator Pam Vokey (who have totally earned a place in the Extreme Patience Hall of Fame as a result of their hard work on this book and its twin); and marketing and publicity gurus Terry Palmer, Christiane Cote, Robin Dutta-Roy, Erin Kelly, Sarah Trimble, Meghan Brousseau et al. (who inspire me with their energy and enthusiasm). Thanks also to Sharon Foster of Sharon Foster Design, who is literally The Mother of All Designers (she gives my books’ covers their snazzy looks) and Kathryn Adams, The Mother of All Illustrators (she draws the tiny illustrations that makes the sidebars dance off the page). And Pat Loi—The Mother of All Interior Text Designers—thank you for finding a way to squish extra words onto the page (and in a way that doesn’t make it obvious that you’re doing that kind of squishing). Bravo!

Just a few more thank yous and I’ll wrap this up before you start having flashbacks to Oscar Night: I need to thank Sekoiaa Lake and Lisa Clarke for their behind-the-scenes administrative help and research assistance; my agent Ed Knappman, of New England Publishing Associates, for being an all-round great person; my trademark attorney Valerie G. Edward, B.Arts.Sci., LLB, ditto; my posse of virtual cheerleaders (a.k.a. blogging buddies), the various long-suffering friends and family members who phoned or e-mailed me to offer support, encouragement, or the incentive of coffee/lunch/dinner/fun once I finished the book. (Clearly, they figured the carrot approach was more fitting than the stick approach, given the subject matter of this book.) Finally, I’d like to extend an extra special thank you to my eight-year-old son, Ian, who has been waiting patiently for me to finish this book so that we can do some cooking together. (I’m not the best cook when I’m in book-writing mode. I don’t like to bring my laptop to the kitchen, and if I head back to my desk when something’s on the stove, well, let’s just say that’s a recipe for disaster.) But there’s no need to worry about me writing books for a while—not while this one’s fresh out of the oven. For now, I’m going to breathe in the scent of a freshly completed manuscript. It’s one of the best smells in the world.

About the Author

Ann Douglas is an award-winning pregnancy and parenting author. She is the author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books, The Mother of All Baby Books, The Mother of All Toddler Books, The Mother of All Parenting Books, and The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers (all part of the award-winning

The Mother of All® Books series) as well as the two debut titles in the newly launched The Mother of All™ Solutions series: Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage. She is also the co-author of other highly popular titles in the pregnancy and parenting category, including The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby and Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss (both co-authored with John R. Sussman, MD) and Choosing Childcare for Dummies®.

Ann delivers keynote addresses at parenting and health conferences across North America; teaches online pregnancy courses through WebMD.com, is an Expert Mom with ClubMom.com, delivers parenting workshops through the Ella Centre for Pregnancy and Parenting and workplace-based parenting training through Lifespeak Inc; serves as a member of the National Advisory Board for Invest in Kids; and is the president of Page One Productions Inc., an award-winning marketing and communications firm that specializes in mom-to-mom communications.

Ann writes columns for Conceive Magazine, Glow, and CanadianLiving.com and is a regular contributor to numerous other pregnancy and parenting publications. She is frequently quoted in such publications as Parenting, Parents, Fit Pregnancy, American Baby, Working Mother, and Canadian Living and is a popular radio, TV, and online chat guest.

Ann and her husband Neil have four children, ages 8 through 18. All four of her children were breastfed, but that’s about the only thing they’ve ever had in common on the food front—something that’s given Ann plenty of opportunity (and incentive) to study eating habits and mealtime behavior in her own family food laboratory.

Introduction

ODDS ARE YOUR definition of a memorable meal has evolved somewhat since you became a parent. Forget the fancy restaurant, candlelight, and romantic music: you’re more likely to note the time and date of this milestone moment (or to post a blow-by-blow re-enactment of the meal in question in your blog) if you get through an entire family dinner without a single one of your dining companions (a) threatening to go on a food strike because they hate the menu du jour; (b) taking one bite of their meal and then triumphantly announcing All done!; or (c) whining to get down from the dinner table before you’ve carried your plate to the table. And as for what’s showing up on the dinner table these days, chances are there have been some major shifts on that front, too, unless, of course, you were always in the habit of dining on such gourmet fare as strained carrots, alphabet pasta, and fishsticks. Yum!

Food Fantasies, Food Reality Check

REMEMBER WHAT MEALTIMES were like when you were a kid—how your annoying little sister used to throw hissy fits every time your mother served any meal that violated one of her dinnertime rules of engagement, and how she was allowed to get away with it? If your picky little sister was like mine, her food rules probably went something like this: (1) no food shall ever touch any other food; (2) casserole is just a fancy word for disgusting. And, do you also remember swearing that there was no way you would ever let any kid of yours pull that kind of stuff once you became a grownup?

Who knows? Maybe you even managed to carry those my kid will never be like that fantasies well into adulthood, smiling smugly to yourself as you dined with other parents and their equally picky offspring, or when you spotted people who clearly should never have been allowed to be parents as they inflicted their unruly brats on other restaurant patrons. And then you became a parent yourself and your children refused to follow your blueprint for mealtime perfection. The baby became high-chair phobic, the toddler thought it was a big joke to try to eat your dinner instead of his own, and the preschooler decided she wanted to eat only those foods that she had seen advertised on TV. How could your visions of doing this food thing right have gone so terribly wrong?

Another Book about Feeding Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers?

YOU’RE PROBABLY WONDERING why I decided to chime in with my two cents on the subject of feeding kids. It’s not as if there’s a book shortage in this particular subject. Pretty much every parenting expert, cookbook author, nutritionist, and pediatrician on the planet has ventured into this turf, and if they haven’t written a book on this subject yet, they’re probably being chased down right this second by some publisher waving a book contract. The reason is obvious: parents are hungry for information on what it takes to get kids off to a healthy start nutrition-wise. And given that today’s generation of kids are more overweight and less fit than ever before, the stakes have never been greater. But, still, that’s no excuse for writing another book unless you think you have something unique to add to the discussion, so I had to think long and hard before I agreed to write this book. What would a book in this series bring to the table that would be of unique benefit to parents and their children? What did I have to say that would help other parents grapple with this big-stakes issue? Here’s what I came up with as my reasons for tackling this project long before I ever sat down to write the first chapter of this book.

• The Mom factor. What has been missing from the bookstore shelves is a book that takes a truly mother-centered approach to the issue of feeding a young child—a book that taps into the considerable mother wisdom on this subject (after all, who knows more about feeding babies, toddlers, and preschoolers than moms) and that factors in all the worry and mother guilt that is so much a part of this issue for mothers. Just as previous generations of pregnancy books were guilty of overlooking the fact that pregnancy actually had something to do with the mom (e.g., it wasn’t all about the fetus), food books have been guilty of being so focused on solving the child’s feeding problem that they’ve forgotten to consider how breast-feeding problems, food refusal issues, and other feeding concerns affect a mother when feeding is so much a part of how mothers nurture their children. This, of course, ties into the entire childhood obesity issue, which can have its roots in the early years, and that mothers tend to feel particularly guilty about. These are important issues that deserve to be examined through the lens of motherhood.

• No one-size-fits-all solution: Rather than pretend that a one-size-fits-all mealtime solution—or variations on that same theme—will meet the needs of all parents and all children without taking into account the sometimes complex and messy variables that go into any parenting equation, this book:

• provides you with a crash course in the basics of nutrition and eating during the baby, toddler, and preschooler stages so that you can understand what is happening to your child developmentally and ensure that your food expectations of your child are both age appropriate and realistic.

• ensures that menu ideas and suggestions reflect the day-to-day realities of busy parents as well as