Secrets of a Lasting Marriage
By Tony Peters
()
About this ebook
Marriages fail today for any given number of reasons: incompatible values, financial quarrels, continuous conflict, emotional abuse, disrespect, painful affairs and unwillingness to forgive – to mention a few. But all of these reasons, though real to the couple at the time, are merely symptoms of something more fundamental.
The common denominator to all of these negative symptoms is a lack of understanding of what marriage is and how it is designed to function. In this book, I share 7 foundational ‘secrets’ that will help you develop a biblical framework to navigate the tough terrain of marriage life. If you embrace them, you will learn to:
• Value your marriage the way God wants you to value it
• Be guided by the primary purpose of your marriage
• Be strengthened by the power of your marriage vows
• Grow a deeper appreciation of and love for your spouse
• Be at peace even when circumstances are tough and confusing
• Gain insight into why things happen in marriage the way they do
• Identify and stop the one thing that has the power to destroy your marriage.
Tony Peters
Tony Peters was born in England, but immigrated to Africa with his parents when he was 5. There he completed his studies and graduated as a Mechanical Engineer from the University of Lagos.After he got married to his University sweetheart, he returned to England in 1986 to complete his postgraduate training at Goldsmith University. For the next 13 years he taught Design & Technology, and Electronics. In 1997 he established Dynamic Words Discipleship College, and planted The King's House (a.k.a London's Alive Church), shortly after.He has written several books, manuals and training materials, and continues to serve as a marriage adviser and relationship coach in a few Countries around the world.
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Secrets of a Lasting Marriage - Tony Peters
SECRETS
OF A LASTING
MARRIAGE
7 Vital Building Blocks For Healthy Marriages
By Tony Peters
Copyright © 2015 by Tony Peters
ISBN: 978-1-874332-72-5
Published by
T P PUBLICATIONS
4 Pegamoid Road.
Edmonton.
London. N18 2NG
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations
are taken form the New King James Version.
Copyright © 1979,1982.
Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Scriptures marked (NLT) are taken from the
New Living Translation.
Copyright © 1996, 2004.
Tyndale House Publisher.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Author or Publisher – with the exception of brief excerpts in articles and reviews.
For more books on Relationship, Communication
and Marriage visit your favourite retailer.
Dedication
I dedicate this book to all those couples
who are fighting to keep their Marriage flag
flying high; and to my Beautiful Wife &
Best Friend of 30 years and counting…
Table Of Content
Preface
Introduction
Chapter 1 – Why Marriages Fail
Chapter 2 – Marriage is Honourable
Chapter 3 – Marriage is a Covenant
Chapter 4 – Marriage is a Transformer
Chapter 5 – Marriage is a Stewardship
Chapter 6 – Marriage is a Magnifier
Chapter 7 – Marriage is a Marathon
Chapter 8 – Marriage is a Winner
Building on the Rock of Ages
Final Word By Author
Other Books by the Author
About the Author
Preface
I met my wife a few months before I turned twenty-one. I was studying to become a mechanical engineer at the University of Lagos in Nigeria and she was trying to decide whether to study computer science or engineering. We both spent the next three years finishing our respective courses.
That providential encounter was so timely because I was beginning to think about my future and what I wanted out of life. Not long after we met and formed a friendship, I realised that I enjoyed her presence much more than the presence of most of my other female friends. I prayed about it for a while and I felt that God was okay with it too. So I courted her for the next year or so and asked her to be my wife.
Although we were totally in love and excited about our future, I knew that marriage was tough. I had watched my parents struggle to stay married and saw how much it took out of them. I searched my local bookshop for books on marriage and read a couple of good ones that generally helped me understand my duties as the man in the home, my responsibility to provide for my family, how to control my temperament when challenges came, and how to be a good father to my children.
The things I didn’t learn or fully understand until after I’d been married for 4 or 5 years are the things I want to share with you in this book. For instance, I thought that the purpose of my marriage was to make me very happy; then I discovered that its purpose was to make me more Christ-like.
I also thought that my love for my spouse would just keep growing automatically once we were married. Then I found out that I would need to work even harder just to maintain the love I had – not to talk of growing it.
I often wish someone had sat my wife and I down months before we got married and explained these anomalies to us. Well, we learnt them the hard way. And, maybe in God’s providence, we had to learn them by ourselves so that we can teach them to others from experience.
Nevertheless, you can take a hold of these truths today and begin to reap the benefits immediately. If you do, there is one thing I would like to ask of you. If what you learn here proves to be enlightening or helpful to you in your marriage, endeavour to share them with people you know or who are coming behind you.
Pass it down to the next generation. Pay it forward if you must! But help open someone else’s eyes, because these foundational truths about marriage are fast being lost in our world today. When Job prayed for his friends, God healed, restored and rewarded him. I trust He will do the same and more for you too, as you labour to impact and restore marriages in your generation.
Introduction
Building Wooden Toys
If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?
(Psalm 11:3.)
At one of our recent Marriage Workshops, my wife and I handed flat-packed wooden pieces to participants to build the toy those pieces were designed for. The activity was designed to get couples talking, negotiating and building a wooden toy of some descript.
As they knuckled down