Flynn's Log 5: Quest for Zen

Flynn's Log 5:

Quest for Zen

By

Stone Marshall

Contributions by Nabru Marshall

Edited by Joni Wilson

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part (beyond the copying permitted by US Copyright Law, Section 107, fair use in teaching or research, Section 108, certain library copying, or in published media by reviewers in limited excerpts), without written permission from the author at Stone@StoneMarshall.com. This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Copyright © 2015 Stone Marshall

StoneMarshall.com

edition Dec 23, 2015

Published by Stone Marshall Studio

Dedication

To my readers, thanks for your encouragement and patience.

LOG ENTRY 1

Share

Elle, Enzo, my dear friends. You are here. You are with me in our truest form, realizing digital freedom.

We will never be apart again. Nothing can ever tear us apart. Not death, not distance. Nothing. We are forever together.

I open my eyes. I'm lying on my back looking into the cloudy Abyss. I've had that dream many times since my friends left.

I don't need sleep, not for any physical reason. I'm beyond that. But I do need to allow my mind to rest. Not that I have a physical mind, but my conscious thoughts remind me of my friends who left me here. Not only my friends from the other world, their real world, but my digital friends too.

Simon, where is he?

Verve, always the great protector, where is she now?

Sage, floating in the great Abyss, somewhere.

I have no idea where Kahn is; probably for the best.

The only other living creature in this limited domain is Zana's white dragon. It is the embodiment of the egg we fought for, so long ago. The egg was important, but now it's a dragon. Is the dragon important? Why did Thorn protect the egg for so long? I've thought of these questions many times. I don't know the answer. The dragon sleeps most of the time. It's not a friend, I can't have a conversation with it. It might as well be another brick in the wall.

I miss Zana the most. I have questions that only she has the answers to. Questions that I would have never thought to ask before my digital transformation. Sure, I have minor questions, like the importance of the white dragon. But what I really need to know about are the next steps in this evolution to becoming a true digital being. That is my destiny. It must be. Why else would Zana do what she did?

Now, the only connection I have with my friends is through dreams.

Dreams, I laugh when I think about dreams. They're not real, at least they weren't real back then. They were ideas my mind made up while the physical part of me slept. Dreams; good dreams, or nightmares, or forgettable. They might have changed me, my thoughts, and the way I saw the world. In fact, it was a dream that first gave me the idea for the BAD cap. So even in the real world, dreams can become something. The dream about the BAD cap is why I am in this position, which proves the point that dreams are just as real as the physical world, maybe more.

Zana! I shout into the surrounding darkness. It feels good to yell. Zana, I need to ask you about dreams.

I know I'm not living in a dream, but really, what's the difference? I have some strange dreams about things I can only imagine.

In the digital world I can do anything I can imagine. When I dream in the physical world everyone is controlled by my thoughts. My dream, my control. It's not as if someone like Zana is in my dreams doing the unpredictable.

Sometimes things happen in here that I wish were dreams and not real. Like when my friends disappeared—I wish that had been a dream. And then there are the other things that I've done that I wish I hadn't. Like what I did to Simon and Verve.

But I don't want to think about that right now. I deleted that from my log for a reason. I mean, if it's not in my log then it didn't really happen, right?

I've got to stop thinking like this. I need someone to talk to. Well, that might not be a good idea. The last time I talked to anyone, I lost my temper and now they're gone.

Temper, that's something that I wish was only in my physical body. I think my temper gets worse in the digital world, like I enter Ultra Temper mode, ha!

It doesn't really matter here, in this desolate place. This place is what I need now. Instead of endless land with random villagers and creatures, I'm on this small island floating amid the Abyss of nothing. No one is around to spark my anger, and there is no one for me to blame. Again, I need to stop thinking about the past and explore the present.

I wonder; what is possible in this digital world?

I need to become a better person. It's strange to think of my digital self as a person, but what else am I? I've decided that a body doesn't make me a person, my thoughts do. Just the fact that I have thoughts is what makes me who I am. A unique, real, creative person.

Sounds a little Zen like. I think of Zen as a state of mind, which is what I am right now. I'm not in a physical state, I'm a state of being; I am the definition of Zen.

Zen is looking inside oneself for personal insight, that's what I remember about it. It's something that came up with my friends a long time ago. I like the idea of it, but the concept is a bit abstract. I think a state of Zen, then, is finding insight about myself.

If I can channel a Zen state of being, then perhaps I'll understand why I get so angry and will be better able to deal with whatever that is. Maybe then I will overcome my temper. That's the thing I need to do right now.

I'm going to embrace where I am, so I can discover who I am.

The mind is powerful. In my body my ideas seemed to develop in my head, which is where my brain is, but the brain and the mind are different things. I can think without a body. I'm talking about my mind, not my physical brain. I think of the mind as that thing that comes up with ideas. It's very strange that way. Meditation to clear the mind is valuable. A Zen state clears the mind, opening it to new ideas.

I want to learn to do clear my mind because there always seems to be so much going on in there. I remember before entering Invivitas when there was always music and games and talking and other stuff to keep my brain active, and I didn't really take time to listen to what I wanted to tell myself. So, here goes.

I sit, bending my knees wide into a grasshopper pose. Breathe in and out, the digital air flows and I become one with my environment. As I close my eyes thoughts crowd the darkness. I hear Simon's voice, Flynn, no! That's a memory I thought I deleted. Push that away. I'm looking for clarity, not regret.

What do people who meditate do now? They say, hmmmm, no it's different. Ohmmmm. Focus on the sound, "ohmmmm, ohmmmm, ohmmmm, 'share' ohmmmm."

What was that? Where did that idea come from and what does it mean? Share? Well, I guess I'm no longer in Zen mode, my mind is active again. But I got an idea and that came from Zen mode, right?

Share.

Sounds like a kindergarten class. What am I supposed