Hood Knock Life

Prologue

Close and lock the damn door! Hurry up! yelled Jermaine at Tasha as he rushed past her to their bedroom.

What the hell you done went and did now Jermaine? You always up to some bullshit! she yelled as she closed the door and walked into the bedroom. She watched as he threw money into a gray duffel bag and into a secret door in the floor of their closet. He then started to flush crack rocks and weed down the toilet before he turned around to face her.

I got out of bed because I wanted to know why mommy and daddy were arguing this time. They were always fussing and I just wanted them to get along for once. Just as I was about to go down the hallway I heard a bunch of police sirens and saw flashing lights outside of my window. Our house was surrounded! I rushed back into my room but left the door cracked so that I could peek out.

Jermaine Jamison, come out with your hands up! said the police officer through what sounded like a bullhorn.

Oh hell nah, see Jermaine, I knew this was some bullshit! How you gon’ bring this drama to the place where our son lays his head? What kind of man are you? Wait, I’ll tell you what kind of man you are; a sorry ass one! I can’t believe I kept thinking that you were going to change when clearly that doesn’t seem to be an option for you! I heard mommy yell at daddy as they walked down the hall.

Tasha, how ’bout you shut the fuck up while I try to figure this shit out, damn! I don’t need you naggin’ me right now! he yelled as he looked out the window.

I’m not nagging Jermaine I’m just trying to be fucking realistic. And what are you trying to figure out? Our house is surrounded by the Charleston County Police Department and our son is asleep in the next room. Do you really think you’re gon’ make it out of here alive Jermaine? Be a man and just turn yourself in. Do it for our son. I would rather his father be in prison than dead and if you go out there thinkin’ you Superman that’s exactly what you’ll be. Dead and the last thing I want is gun shots waking up Bryson. What will he think if he sees you laying out in our yard dead? she said while sobbing in daddy's chest.

I watched as daddy held mommy. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and then he kissed her on the forehead. He started walking back down the hallway towards my room so I ran and jumped back into my bed so that he wouldn't know that I was awake.

Jermaine Jamison, for the last time, please come out with your hands up or we're coming in! yelled the police officer again.

I watched from under my sheets as daddy opened my bedroom door and whispered I love you son. I hope you’ll grow up to be a better man than I was.

He closed my door and walked out. I heard mommy still crying as daddy walked out the front door and turned himself in to the police. I ran to my window and watched as they slammed him against the car and searched him. Then they handcuffed him, threw him in the back of the squad car and drove away.

I remember my mom crying all night and I sat wondering what was going on. When would I see my daddy again? Why did the police take him away and who was going to teach me how to box now? I then started to cry because where I'm from when the police pick up your daddy he doesn't come back for a long time and that’s if he comes back at all. His voice floated around in my mind Be a better man than me son. Could I?

That was the last memory I had of my dad and I was just four years old. I was yet another little black boy who had lost his daddy to the streets; left without a dad to teach him how to be a man. I would soon realize that I would have to find a way to survive in this jungle because the streets had no mercy.

Bryson

12 years later...

Push Kenya push. I said as I watched my baby's mother give birth to our son. After nine months of waiting I was ready to see how he would look. Would he have my nose? His mother's complexion? My attitude? Unlike most teenage fathers I was in a place to financially support him and his mother. They wouldn’t want for anything as long as I was around. Me and Kenya weren’t always on the best of terms but there was nothing that I wouldn’t do for her and my son. She was the first girl who wanted me for me and since her parents turned their back on her I was really all that she had.

I am pushing Bryson! Shut the hell up, this is all your fault in the first place! screamed Kenya in pain.

I looked down at her. She had sweat dripping down her face and her hair was pressed against her forehead. She never looked more beautiful to me than at this moment even if she wasn’t too fond of me at the moment. Come on baby it's not going to be that much longer. Keep pushing, I said as I wiped the sweat from her forehead and stroked her hand.

That's right Kenya just one more big push and you will have his head out. said the doctor.

I moved from Kenya's side to see my son enter the world. I watched as his small little head poked out of his mom and his shoulders followed. I watched as he took his first breath and started to cry. His screams started off soft but then they got stronger. He had a pair of lungs on him but most importantly he was perfect. I cut his umbilical cord with the scissors and watched as the doctors cleaned him off and weighed him. Our son was finally here. I was so excited I could barely keep the smile off of my face.  I walked back up to Kenya and kissed her. You did it baby! You did it! I love you so much. Thanks for giving me my son. You’re the best girl in the world. I know I don’t tell you that often but you really are.

I love you too Bryson. she said as she stroked my cheek. How does he look?

He's every bit as cute as his mother, I said to her as I kissed her again.

The nurse then brought our son over to us. Bryson Tremaine Jamison Jr. was born 6 pounds and 5 ounces. He was the most perfect baby in the world with his small fingers and toes. He had my brown complexion and his mother's almond shaped eyes, and cute button nose. Most importantly, he was healthy. I watched as Kenya held him and talked softly to him. I've never seen anything like it. I pulled out my phone and took a picture and uploaded it to Facebook and Instagram to let the whole world know that my family was complete. I knew a few girls would be jealous but who gave a fuck. They weren't important right now. This was a happy moment and this was my family. My small little peace in this crazy world.

Baby, do you want to hold your son? Kenya asked.

Yeah, I said as I picked up his small little body and placed him in my arms. I sat down in the chair and looked down into my son's face. Hey Junior, I'm your daddy and that beautiful woman over there dozing off is your mommy. We both love you very much son and we will be the best parents that we can be to you. I want you to know that I will always be there for you. I'm never going to abandon you or your mom. I got your back always son. I love you.

I started to rock him gently. His eyes were closed and he looked as if he didn’t have a care in the world. And in a way he didn’t. There was no place I would rather be in that moment. The nurse handed me a bottle and showed me the proper way to feed him. He sucked it down as if it was his last meal before falling back asleep. I laughed and looked over at Kenya who had fallen back asleep. This indeed was the moment I’d like to live in forever.

Tasha

I walked down the hospital hallway with a teddy bear and some flowers in my hand. I was excited about seeing my grandson but not too thrilled about my son being a teenage father. When he and Kenya told me that they were having a baby I was upset at first but eventually just accepted it because this was my first grandbaby. Although I was upset, I was happy that there would be someone little around for me to spoil. I just hoped that this baby would help Bryson straighten up his life. That he would get off those streets and get a real job because he was headed one of two places, prison or the grave. I walked into Kenya's room and saw that she was resting peacefully. Bryson was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed talking softly to his son. I stared for a moment because he looked just like his father. Dark brown, a chiseled chin, broad shoulders, and a head full of dark waves. They could go for twins except Bryson had a slight scar over his eye from when he fell off his bicycle when he was six.  He decided that he was ready to go without the training wheels and fell over on the sidewalk. He cried like a baby and was upset because I promised that I wouldn’t let him go but soon he got over it and two days later he was flying on his bicycle up and down the road.

Hey son, I said as I walked closer to him. He was so into his son that he didn’t even notice me. How is the baby?

He jumped a little bit but then he flashed that million dollar smile that could melt anyone's heart. Hey mom, he's fine. He's a healthy baby boy 6 pounds and 5 ounces.

I bought him a little teddy bear and Kenya some flowers, I said as I went to place the flowers on the stand by the bed and sat the teddy bear beside it.

Thanks mom I know she will appreciate them because she had a long day. The labor was really rough on her.  Do you want to hold Junior? he asked as he stood up and placed him in my arms.

I'm sure she had a long day son, child birth ain’t easy and it’s a lot of stress on your body. It’s hard when your old and I can only imagine it being harder if you’re younger. Then again you men wouldn’t understand that because you don’t have to deal with it, I said as I sat in the chair with my grandson. Oh my goodness Bryson! He is so handsome. He’s such a beautiful little boy. He reminds me of you when you were first born. So small and innocent. I can't wait to spoil him rotten.

I'm sure you can't wait to spoil him mom. I wouldn't expect anything less from you. he said with a chuckle. I'm goin’ to the snack machine you want something? It’s some good stuff in the snack machines these days.

I looked at him and shook my head. I had already ate and was just ready to spend time with my grandson. When he left I gazed down at my beautiful grandson. He was a perfect little angel. I felt an immediate bond with him. I haven't felt this way since I first held Bryson in my arms sixteen years ago and it was a moment I would never forget. I knew my grandson was going to be a little charmer just like his father and his grandfather. I just hoped that he would be the one to break the curse and not fall victim to the streets. I kissed his little face and held onto his little hand. He opened his eyes a little and I smiled. I knew that I was going to love being a grandma. I heard a little stir and I realized that Kenya had woken up. Hi Kenya, how are you doing? I asked her while still rocking my grandson.

I'm doing fine Ms. Tasha. Just glad that all that pain is over. I didn’t want to take any medicine and go all natural so that I wouldn’t be out of it when Junior got here, she said with a weak smile on her face.

Yeah it is painful that's why Bryson is my one and only. I think God knew once that he was born I wouldn’t be able to handle another one like him, I said with a laugh. I stood up and walked over to her to hand her Junior. I got you some flowers. I know this hasn't been an easy process but I want you to know that I'm here for you with any help that you may need. I’m still not too happy about being an early Gorgeous Mama but I will still love and care for this little boy. Although, I will not raise him. Remember that.

Thank you Ms. Tasha I'm very grateful for everything that you've done for me. Especially since my parents turned their back on me. I still can’t believe that they kicked me out because I wouldn’t leave Bryson alone but I wanted him to be a part of his child’s life. Too bad they couldn’t see past his street boy persona like I did. You’ll never understand how grateful I truly am for taking me in the way that you did.

No problem sweetie, I would never turn my back on you when you were in need. I know that not having your parents around is hard and I was hoping that they would come around but they didn’t. Hopefully on day they will though because you will need them. But thank you for giving me such a handsome grandson even if he was quite unexpected, I said as I rubbed my grandson's little chubby cheeks.

Ms. Tasha, is being a mother hard? I’m really nervous and I think that I’m going to screw everything up. How will I know that I’m doing the right thing? What if the baby doesn’t like me? asked Kenya

I smiled and chuckled a little bit. Yes, sweetie it is very hard but it's also a very rewarding experience. I wouldn't have traded being a mother to my son for anything in the world. Even with all the problems he gives me I still love that boy to death. You don’t always get everything right. In fact you will make plenty of mistakes, become a little overprotective, but in time you find your way and it all works out. Suddenly you don’t panic as much and you really start to enjoy all parenthood has to offer. First roll, time they hold bottle, crawl, walk, and so many other things makes the struggles all worth it.

I just hope that I can be half the mom that you are. I can tell that you did a good job with Bryson. He respects you so much, even though he thinks that being a man is being out on the streets, she replied.

I smiled. Yeah but sometimes all you have to do is trust what you instilled in them and hope that they find their way back and I know that eventually he will. The more I push him though the more he’s going to want to be out on the streets but that’s why I’m just making small little hints.

We sat and chatted for a while then Bryson finally came back into the room. He had an armful of plain potato chips, cookies, a grape soda, and a ham and cheese sandwich. He had a piece of Snicker’s hanging out of his mouth and it looked as if he was smoking a cigarette. He still looked like such a little boy and it's just hard imagining my son as a dad and being responsible for another person. He still had a lot of growing up to do and I wanted to talk to him about that but now wasn't the place or time. Now was the time to celebrate the birth of his son. I watched as he flopped down on the other chair with his hat turned backwards and opened a bag of chips. I had to smile because no matter what he was still my baby and even if I didn't agree with his choices I would always be there for him no matter what the circumstances.

Mom, I know you said you didn't want anything but I got you your favorite chips. I didn’t want to eat in front of you without you having anything to snack on to, he said as he tossed me a bag of hot fries.

Thanks Beebe, I teased as I opened up the bag of chips. Beebe was the name I called him when he was a little boy. He loved it back then but he hated it now. He said he didn't like it because that was a little boy’s name and that he was a man now. I still loved to tease him about it though. Besides at sixteen he was hardly anybody’s man.

Mom, really? You know I go by Bryson or B now. Beebe ended when I was ten, he said as he rolled his eyes.

Yes, well you will always be Beebe to me no matter how old you get. You’ll appreciate that name again one day. I promise you that. Being grown isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, I said. I heard Kenya snickering in the background and I was hoping these two would have a chance for their son. I was going to do everything I could do to help them but one thing I wasn't going to do was be a mom to their son. I made that perfectly clear to the both of them. I was only going to be grandma. That meant that they wouldn’t be going out all the time partying and doing whatever.  Just because they were going to be living with me, didn’t mean I was going to be the designated babysitter. I did have a life of my own whether the realized it r not was on them. I looked at my watch and realized that it was almost time for me to go to work so I stood up to leave.

Okay you guys I have to leave and go to work but I will be back later to check on you three. Especially you Kenya because you look really worn out. Try to get some rest while you can because once you come home it’ll be just you and Bryson and those feedings will take a toll on you, Be good Bryson and try to help her out as much as you can, I said as I kissed Junior and hugged Kenya. I walked over to my big baby Bryson and kissed and hugged him as well.

Bye mom, sad Bryson as he started to change the channel on the TV.

Bye Ms. Tasha, said Kenya barely able to hold her eyes open as I walked out of the room

Those two have no idea what they’re in for, I mumbled to myself as I walked out of the room.

Kenya

I looked down at my son's small perfect little face. I wasn't ready to have a baby and honestly I was going to have an abortion but Bryson wanted this so much that I just went along with it. He said that being a father was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Looking down at my sleeping son I didn’t regret my decision at all even if it did cost me my parents. I didn’t expect them to turn on me the way that they did but they always were concerned about image. Having a pregnant teenage daughter didn’t fit that image. Bryson promised that he would always be there for me and Junior and I hoped that he kept that promise because I had no idea where to start or what I was doing and could only hope that I wouldn’t screw my son’s life up.

Thank God for Ms. Tasha because I knew that she would guide me as much as possible. My parents never approved of me and Bryson because they thought he was a thug whose only future was in the streets or making fertilizer in the ground but I didn't think so. I saw potential in him to do better even if no one else could. I knew that he could be so much more than he was and I was going to help him get there. I had dreams of becoming a nurse but I knew it was going to be even harder for me now. I was determined to stay on track though and make sure that all my dreams were accomplished. I wasn’t going to be another statistic. I glanced over at Bryson who was sitting in front of the TV looking at the football game. He looked so handsome with his gold and black New Orleans Saints jersey on and his black shorts. I was about to dose off when I saw the nurse walk in with one of those blood pressure machines again.

How are we doing this afternoon Ms. Walker? she asked in a sing song voice that was borderline annoying.

I'm doing okay I guess. Just a little tired. I haven’t been able to stay awake for long periods of time, I replied wishing she would go away so that I could get some more sleep.

That’s normal considering what your body went through today. You should be back to normal in just a few days. Although with a baby I’m sure that the tiredness won’t go away anytime soon, she said with a smile. I just have to press on your abdomen to make sure that your uterus is contracting back normally. She picked Junior up out of my arms and placed him in his little crib. Then she started to press roughly on my stomach.

It started to hurt a lot and I could feel the blood gushing out of me but I guess it was normal and something I would have to deal with over the next few weeks. It seemed as if it was a lot of blood though. I could feel it starting to seep though the cloth panties a little bit but I still didn’t say anything.

Okay Ms. Walker everything seems to be in order. You can get some rest now, she said as she left the room.

I waited for her to leave before I took another glance at Bryson who still hadn't moved from his same spot. His eyes