Solitude: How Doing Nothing Can Change the World

FOREWORD

It is a Saturday in July in 2015, the first day of the last week of our annual summer retreat, and the first summer without the physical presence of our beloved Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. Although our Teacher is not here, but is in the U.S receiving specialist treatment, we have once again spent the whole month together. Families from all around the world are celebrating community and enjoying the preciousness of life.

It is late in the evening and as the summer sun slowly sets, the sounds of children playing, laughing, and crying seems endless. I know soon dharma sharing will finish and, like little fluffy ducklings, children will follow their parents to their tents to dream alone for the night. There is a cool breeze out and the sky is scattered with orange and pink clouds. It is nice to sit at the foot of my makeshift bed. Some nights it is natural to reflect and even to write, a process which takes me much longer than I would like to admit and something I think only brotherly love could inspire me to consider.

I have always wondered what it means to live a meaningful life and somehow living in a hut together with my brother felt the closest I have come to it. I am not surprised he came or that my monastic brothers encouraged us to inhabit a little timber hut on the back of our walking meditation path. He is curious and fascinated by life and my monastic brothers are so trusting. But, I have since felt curious as to what went on in the depths of my brother. What did he really think, what did he learn and how has his shifting perspective stood the test of time and habit?

I myself often stop and wonder- why am I doing this? Why did I implant myself into a foreign country, into a monastic culture which oft feels strange and alien? My Australian roots, my culture, my family (other than our bright uncle who was a Jesuit) did not prepare me for the everyday life of modern Vietnamese monasticism. I imagine how perplexing it must have been for my brother, like a kind of 'Alice in Wonderland' hypnotic experience, where everything you seem to understand comes under fire. I love my brother so much more for being open to this novel experience, for embracing it wholeheartedly and for attempting to put his experience into words. I am happy that he has invited us along for this journey and that he has emerged from his solitude with a 'voice' and a 'story'. I hope his stories can be the beginning of a wider perspective, a smile, a kind word, an attempt to live in a fresher way, to use Plum Village vocab, and I hope he comes back again soon.

Br Tuy Niem (Br Nathan)

Plum Village

France

PREFACE

I never intended for this to become a book. At first I thought the idea of turning these experiences into writing for others to read was a little egotistical, like a social media post just for attention. The last thing I wanted to do was tarnish the relationships I made and the fond memories I acquired. However, it became stingingly apparent that I simply had no choice.

I was asked to write an article about my experiences living in Plum Village for three months and about the time I spent with my brother, a monk who now calls it his home. I didn’t think my writing on the topic would go any further than that, but I was overwhelmed by the response and not just from the people I met in Plum Village who I knew would find it easy to resonate with my words. I was surprised to see the positive response and mass of questions from people who I assumed would find little interest, if any at all, in the specifics of what went on inside a monastery.

This made me feel compelled to transform my meagre 1000 word article into something bigger and stronger in order to reach a new audience, an audience of people who probably need to read it the most. I know this because I was one of these people and everything I experienced in Plum Village was completely foreign to me and something I wish I learnt much earlier on in my life. I don’t intend for this to be a preaching of any kind, because that would truly tarnish my experiences, but merely words to reflect on, to think about, to question, as I did and continue to do since the first time I stepped off the plane in France.

As I was one of the people completely new to this practice and place, and because I don’t want to add to the abundance of spiritual books that only reach those who are already spiritual, I have endeavoured to write every word in a way that is authentic, raw and real. In doing so, these words transcend the practice of mindfulness and the gates of Plum Village itself and move into areas of happiness, sex and desire, consumption, alcohol and drugs, ego, envy, fear, society, community and topics we can all relate to - In the end illustrating that all along, mindfulness, impermanence, reverence, attachment, and the like, are just as relevant.

I have called in some big hitters to help me along the way: Bertrand Russel, Matthieu Ricard, Peter Singer, Alain De Botton, Jon Kabat – Zinn, Daniel Gottlieb, Alan Watts, Tom Shadyac and, of course, Thich Nhat Hanh, without whom none of this would be possible. But undoubtedly the biggest hitter was my brother, a truly great man who I was lucky enough to share three months with in a humble hut in the forest in the South of France. A man whose love, honesty and wisdom helped shape me and in turn all the words that follow.

INTRODUCTION

You may wonder why anyone would find themselves at a place such as a monastery in the first place, yet alone a Buddhist monastery in France. I found the reasons to be many and the people there to be so vastly different in every way, shape and form.

But how I found my way there was fair to say the rarest of them all. It wasn’t because I had read a book or because I understood the advantages of meditation in everyday life and had come to try it out, for me it was entirely different. I had come to visit my brother, who happens to be a Buddhist Monk, who left Australia and the cultural expectations that come with it for the greener and vastly different pastures of Plum Village some 5 years ago.

When I arrived dazed and jet lagged from the monumental commute from Australia, including an unexpected detour somewhere in Vietnam and another night in the chaos of Paris, I had zero expectations. It was something I told myself repeatedly in order to prepare myself for what would no doubt be a hit to my senses.

There I was jumping off the train into the French summer where I met my brother the monk with the new style of clothing and the new name to boot for the very first time. What would the next three months have in store for me, if in fact I could survive the next three weeks?

You see - Plum Village, and a monastery, was always going to be a different environment for me, opposite to the life I was living and the lifestyle choices I was making back at home. In every little aspect, from the people to the food and culture, I was taking a step way out of my comfort zone.

How would monastery life sit with a serial binge drinker and advocate of free love, carnivore, social media and T.V addicted, smart phone using Australian? Would the Vietnamese monks eat me up and spit me out? Would the vegetarian diet cause undue damage to my intestine tract, would the WIFI be available to update my status, was the nearest bar close by in case I got the cravings on a Friday night? So many questions with nothing but time to get the answers, or will there be answers, or just more questions, or no questions and no answers?

Plum Village, a monastery for monks and nuns founded by the Vietnamese Zen-Master Thích Nhất Hạnh, is a beautiful place set in the equally beautiful and tranquil South of France, tucked in between flowing vineyards and fields upon fields of the brightest of yellow sunflowers. Thich Nhat Hanh, or Thay as he is affectionately known, is one of the best known and most respected Zen masters in the world, a poet, author, peace and human rights activist and founder of the engaged Buddhism movement, influential in the peace movement during the Vietnam War.

Of course I had no idea about any of this, I couldn’t tell you one of his long lists of published works, nothing about his relationship with Martin Luther King Jr., and sadly not one thing about this Buddhist community called ‘Plum Village’ that he founded in 1982 whilst in exile from his native Vietnam.

Was it arrogance that allowed me to travel across the earth to see a place that I never even googled? Was it ignorance that saw me not even pick up a book to find out about this place that my brother now called home? Was I too busy in the ‘real’ world making money and running after one thing and then the other? The answer is yes, but you see in Australia a monk is something we don’t see every day, in fact most people have very little idea, if any, about a monastery and a monk’s life. This was a fact that was strongly and continually reaffirmed by people’s ideas, views and reactions on my departure and again upon my return.

This ignorance put me in a very interesting place when I arrived in Plum Village, with no expectations and simply no background information, I was merely a spectator coming to visit the brother I hadn’t seen in over two years. This ignorance gave me both life changing insights into myself and the ability to freely dive deep into the workings of monastic life.

It is only fair you get a better picture of this naïve, ignorant and arrogant young man from Australia to give you a better idea of his levels of comfort and familiarity upon arrival. For one, I had never seen my brother in his brown robe before nor any other monks for that matter and I hadn’t lasted for more than two months without the poison of alcohol for some 12 years. I had never contemplated two months without the pleasure of some intimate female company. In other words I was well entrenched in the western world, embracing the culture and social norms of most 20 something males, except I may have just indulged and enjoyed it a touch more.

As much as I only went to France to visit my Brother, in the back of my mind, I saw the trip as a challenge, as some sort of personal experiment as to what possibly three months in a monastery away from sex, drugs, alcohol, T.V, a mobile phone and all of life’s everyday things would do to me physically, mentally and emotionally. I was also, somewhat, intrigued as to the effect it would have on my confidence, discipline and aspirations.

I honestly could never have foreseen the drastic and life altering effect that three months in a Buddhist monastery could have had on my life. It started with a simple Vietnamese song called ‘hey you why you running around in circles’ that resonated with me like no other song I had ever heard and led me to exploring the fine art of ‘stopping,’ of simply putting life on hold with nothing to do and nowhere to go. It was this ‘stopping’, away from life’s distractions and influences, that allowed me to look deeper and establish a greater connection with myself and others like never before.

I simply didn’t know what to expect. What unfolded over the ensuing three months just happened to be the single most profound experience of my life. I didn’t know what mindfulness was and had never sat for meditation. I rarely, if ever, shared my emotions and sufferings. I hated singing songs and hadn’t gone one week without consuming meat in my 29 years of existence. I never came for some spiritual awakening or for any deep soul searching. I simply got involved with an open mind and no expectations and not only met my brother the monk for the first time but, funnily enough, maybe met myself for the first time too.

Somewhere amongst the hundreds of beautiful people from around the globe, Thich Nhat Hanh dharma talks, dharma sharings, morning yoga sessions, slow walks through the forest and afternoon deep relaxations, I started to drop my perceptions and my well entrenched ego and began to change.

It’s interesting how three months without the usual distractions of everyday impact on your thoughts, desires, old habits and needs. I spent the bulk of my life worrying about what I was putting into my body in the shape of food but never once thought about what I was putting in my mind. It was only when the noise, constant bombardment and consumption from all angles in the shape of TV, newspapers, the internet and social media ceased that I got the chance to really connect with myself, it was this quiet and solitude that allowed me to really identify my true sufferings and my deepest aspirations.

I saw so clearly that I had perfected the art, much like many of my fellow western friends, of running after one thing then the other, material pursuits, never taking the time to think why I actually started chasing them in the first place. As teacher and Zen master Thich That Hanh says, the trick is not to run away from our suffering, but caught up in routine and the constant cycle I never had the chance to even realise what it actually was I was running away from or, in fact, to. When Brother Phap Niem sang that old Vietnamese song titled ‘Hey you why you running around in circles,’ it was like he was singing it just for me.

As I reflect back on my time in Plum Village, yes, it has been instrumental in reshaping my road ahead but it’s also fair to say that I never envisioned having such a fun and joyful time, meeting great friends from all corners of the globe, lay people and monks alike, full of laughs and good times. A new clarity emerged during morning sitting meditation bringing with it a new found awareness of my feelings and emotions throughout the entire day.

What prompted me to jump on a plane and travel across the world? This simple email that my Brother had sent me; maybe he could see me in this dangerous cycle and saw that I needed a change. Whatever his intention, this short and succinct email below would just happen to change my life forever.

"I have an idea, hear me out...

You want a mature, kind, authentic woman and the tools to love one genuinely, I know the place.

You want to relax; food is organic and close to some of the best farmers market in the world... I know the place.

A place that in the summer is visited by thousands of people each week and afterwards it is cool and calm and the bikes are free to ride on the rolling hills.

Three talks each week by a wise old man and opportunity to practice and share in mindfulness, a practice receiving more and more and more world- wide proclamation...

To spend time with the only Australian monk, and see how he lives simply and happily, and just hang out!

A time to stop and reflect and really decide where you want to put your energy, let’s face it, when in your life have you really stopped and asked the question, - what is important in my life? How shall I get it? What do I have to change? Am I really happy with this life as it is?

A job and a new location won’t make you happy, it won’t give you the tools you need to transform your life, you have to be brave and face yourself, I am doing it and it is becoming more and more wonderful each year.

I know the place and I am here waiting for you.

Listen, it seems you may need to re-direct your energy, and if you change your mind you can transform your life, come and visit me, this place is a real adventure one that could open up new doorways.

Think About It - in the least we are better with you here".

What follows are my experiences and reflections on my three months in a place called Plum Village, a Buddhist practice centre for monks and nuns in the south of France, and my time back in the ‘real world’. Back in the hustle and bustle, back in the cycle, and my experiences and challenges that inevitably came my way - how looking inside led to a new way of looking outside.

Nothing

"Our entire life has been training. The question is: training in what? This question means: training