A Tombstone as My Crown Fool a King, King a Fool

Love

CHAPTER 1

ORIGINS

Coming from off the top of my human mind; so, I can go inside my soul. Once now, I imagined about the thunder and at the light beside this sound. I amused myself over the fact of their presence being associated with the earth and what is the rain. The whole process of the rain falling to the earth; I likened to a laboriously complicated and intense task unto me. Then I looked out into the rain accompanied by the super combustible sound of the earth, appropriately identified as the sound of the thunder. I imagined the thunder combating with some unknown force of the earth that exists beyond the scope of even scientific imagination. These are forces comfortably dwelling in a realm exceeding past the eye of mankind. The forces are attempting to conceal from man, their unique mode of operation and function.

I then felt the response of the earth regarding the meaning of the thunder, and about the light sided with sound, along with the rain. The earth telling me at one time she could complete this process; of replenishing the entire earth from deep inside of her. She then expresses much more to me. She has embraced the struggle of life, fighting against the negative forces. The earth is also confessing unto me. They all are one. The earth and thunder, along with the light sided with sound, and what is the rain. I had once assumed them as being totally separate and apart. I also had assumed that to work together. They had to extend a great amount of effort to complete their function. I now have exceeded my past summation of this so very a natural process. I want to gain a conclusion into my reasoning of this great event, in order to better understand the functions, of their habitual communion with the earth.

I have only now become aware to the possibility of a more natural concept, than I had ever realized. All the while the Rain is springing to the earth as if leaping into her arms. The earth is so much a willing consumer of the rain, sometimes gulping the rain down ravenously. The rain is so giving to her. The whole process can then build upon the demonstration, with the earth replenishing her-self in the rain. This natural event can turn into a crescendo of a designed plan concealing the depth of their relationship. The positive forces of the power of the earth are revealed! These forces are now combined together as the rain, along with the thunder; and rarely sometimes, then with precision does the lightning strikes! Their power together can be seen, felt and notably heard. I later felt as well as imagined. All of this must be a ritualistic dance of the earth herself. She is designed like this to nourish herself through a willful process all on her own. This could be a process, whose meaning and intent is born from love. The process is so natural existing without effort just like the sun.

This is our sun. That is shining on the grass and the trees. Making them both grow effortlessly. My rational mind is now aware coming into focus with this form of reality. I look at all of this to persuade the man inside of me; to explain him-self, somewhat reluctantly as only love. The whole equation is giving equality to all of its elements, equaling itself out on all sides creating unity and balance. Yet, my own equation is unbalanced and unnatural. My life has been diminished by something inhibiting my ability, to function naturally and be real.

A creation of love is revealed to me, to explain Love. Love is revealed. Relating love unto who I am; at this very moment, in an event I call my existence. The very earth herself is demonstrating the oneness of the process of love unto my mind, healing me. I am a creation made from the earth. However, some of her movements are being restricted by what has fallen, to hinder the process of spreading rain evenly over the whole mass of her. The process of spreading love unto my whole body and life also has been beleaguered and hindered as well, and within this my domain of existence. The clock on the wall stopped keeping the correct time, a very long time ago.

As a matter of fact; it never kept the correct time, now that I look at the matter as a whole part of something. This reoccurring function which also advances itself is known unto me as time. I now preclude often to myself, almost daily that somehow I have lost a day. However, on closer interpretation it has been years, decades or possibly even centuries.

The pangs I have of not loving myself; as, I relate it to what has happened in this world connected to my life. My own involvement I cannot shun. And now I am able to reflect upon the whole matter: looking at my willing participation in the destruction of my own environment. It is chilling to my every sensation. After Living my life in a manner that reflects the correlation of my existence to a demonstration in ineptitude. These reflections stem from a mirror casting what it is before my eyes into my sight. I now see myself as a shadow cast to exist outside of this social environmental system on the earth. I now perceive more carefully everything that is worthy. I ask myself the question what is pertinent, enriching unto all human life. My attempt is to somehow make it all seem real, in order to understand somehow what is really happening.

The total event slowly has begun to touch upon a concept complete with shocking and painful revelations. The whole magnitude of it all is now cutting to the very core of my existence. The shedding of the water from my eyes is painful and relevant to my every emotion. The pain is moving me to become apparent with the lost meaning, by me of love. What has fallen also is inhibiting me from aligning myself with the love inside of those who love me. I have also denied myself the love of those whom have loved me, people who I still love, and once loved, and also those who I think I love.

The earth is so much a part of me. And I consider I am a unique part of her. Although, I have to confess I have separated myself and lost the concept of the meaning of love. I mean the remarkable demonstration of the earth replenishing her-self in the rain is a demonstration of one love. I now understand the process as a natural marker revealed like a sign. The purity of the design process is involved with my own natural self being in direct association with the earth. Through this realistic involvement I have associated our union. Yet, I am alone within my space to exist in, confined with capable restraints. I can hardly breathe the air, assigned my configuration in this space I occupy. Formidable and once forbidden educated images of feelings, whose task it is to design a method of restricting true feelings. From being able to combine and attain the ability to feel the origins of feelings, as they relate to humankind. The origin of emotion and feelings thought to be associated only with what is from the earth. The origin of feelings and emotions is defining what it is, to define a concept relating to all existence bridging the universe. Thus, I have likened the knowledge to an oracle filling in the gaps, establishing a pathway into and beyond the heavens.

I have to restructure or locate the path to attain true love and more notably to me justice. I use this conceptual analogy of my understanding to express myself at a time. While, I am in a high state of awareness focused on the total perception of my being. The potentiality of finally having a desire to go after what I believe in, presented like a picture. I am informing myself of how I began at this time in my life. A time when I remembered when I started to crawl again, slowly stand again then walk, and then quickly begin again to run, and then finally fly. I will always remember this time.

(Beginning on July 5th to August 9th 2013.) I have retained access unto what I term is my lost sensation finding my real groove. I want to thank the men and women of the entire U. S. army who demonstrated love to me. When I didn’t even know how; to love myself, carrying me figuratively on your backs? I want to thank you for the service and support you provide to the world, sacrificing life and love for so many. And I felt your courage willing to face any challenge. I have gained the ability to find my lost soul. It was a difficult task walking amongst the ruins. The scent of death perched atop a dead tree filling in the skyline. I have gained the spiritual courage. I need to accompany me journeying thru a broken life. The fact I share the brunt of breaking and not building; what needed maintenance, my existence. As I have already stated is chilling to my every sensation. And I am becoming able to somehow gain the desire to turn around in my nightmares, making them just dreams. The pains of my actions come along with the occurrences of evil. They are a constant reminder. The pain can be intense at times. I have decided upon giving myself a reprieve from the madness. Time is once again my only ally. I wed my existence with the orchestrator of time. Time is all I have, and with time being only a moment combining with another moment. I can now see faint images of a more favorable existence. In an existence where time is now telling, revealing the truth. My total awareness now involved with an urgent sense to express my opinion. And phrase my opinion in a manner that displays understanding truth and reality. I am aligned with time at this exact moment; as a symbol of a weapon being primed and tested to reintroduce reason and understanding on every level. I feel like I have chosen my partner well.

And I give thanks to GOD for being able to make a sound decision, at such a perilous time in my life. I know that I am in a position to become unconquerable by the demons. These demons have remained with me for so long. Resurfacing with the twilight their lights only a flicker now at what was once my position. Their presence is mostly just an annoyance, I ignore. Rather than letting it too become something of substance. That will hinder my attempt of relating unto you. At this moment in time, I have made concerning you, my beloved. I have chosen this moment in time concerning you, my beloved. This is a special time in all of our existence.

TAKING ANGELS BLACK

In the perfect pursuit of understanding,

Wisdom and knowledge

They created the very first college.

The first shall be last.

And the last shall be first.

For the wisdom of GOD

Should only one thirst.

This is the main reason

To excel in every class

And remain on task.

So, only instruct them

With a perspicacious Teacher

Traversing the depths

And perils of an adventive journey

To the center mass of the earth

Unto a continent of mankind’s birth.

Breathing real-life dreams

Weaving thru the unseen hype

Of melodramatic scenes.

Surviving by impossible ways and means

To reach and teach a people

Of his or her own equal

To remember those of old

And not just concentrate on the sequel.

A people eon upon eon’s years old.

Giving credence to the prophecy

Of how they would be serrated

From their land then sold.

Stripped of self given no humanity

And with their dignity purchased,

Stolen and bought.

They are then improperly taught

Of the things in a foreign land, to be sought.

The curtain shielding their soul

Now ripped and pleated.

Only in the fold of the curtain

Can their true secret of greatness be told.

Read from an ancient scroll,

Torn from the pages of a lost and great book,

Then run amuck and led asunder.

They are now given over to every blunder

And for every reason why do they ponder

Over great distances have they wandered.

Chronologically documenting their journey

Thru the ebbs & flows of this man’s existence.

In A world circulating in a perpetual state

From a given point up to this date.

Making certain events to occur and reoccur.

With The naked eye, filtering thru time in a blur.

To capture the exact moment

A Childs mind begins to stir.

Then to hold up high before the stars and the moon looking down upon the earth,

And give witness to the beauty of Black Birth.

ALL PRAISE TO THE MOST HIGH GOD

I want to go another place with you at this moment into a time that can be seen felt and even heard. Spending a short time in a place, where I was raised and conceived into what has become my existence. Existing inside of a life lacking the essentials to grasp what is my-self, in order to conquer my mortal and immortal enemies. The place of ground where an individual is born can sometimes have special appeal. This place can give a significant meaning to the identification of the individual. This will allow one to hold somewhat of a luster in their heart for the place. I have no such feelings anymore for the place of my birth. I see it for what it is in relation to me. A cursed part of the earth blood soaked with tears reeling inside of me hiding a covered madness. I only yearn for the souls of the people who love me and who I love, and also who GOD loves. I felt like on that very part of this earth, where I was raised and lived. The ground itself had been poisoned and set against me. The earth yielded none of her essential ingredients, or any of the elements necessary, for me to develop the correct meaning of life. This is where my life began. And even though I did not bring into this life of mine; any of the wrong made prevalent at the time of my birth. It stated to me that it had a valid reason to include wrong, structuring the prevalent obstacles against me to exist. I also did not help myself with my actions some so painful. Born out of a confused reality with a difficulty to understand rating inserting only zeros and no one is exempt from being fitted with the mask, which covers up and hides the insanity. My mind lulled and dulled; broken off needles placed into my skull, transforming a creation of light into a nightmarish scene of darkness. Yet, I will try as best as I can; bringing into focus the obstacles against me, in order to be felt. For, understanding and reason will evade you on this matter of that I am sure. There does exist an in-depth reason, sort of like implicating light into a darkened room of a house, with no electricity. It came against me like a frightened part of the fire. It shattered down my image as a man always attempting to break into my thoughts. I will always maintain my love, for most nearly all of the people in Albany, Ga., even the ones who I think I love. My own actions became associated and tied with the madness placed inside of my life to implement the removal of my light; most prevalent were the actions of my drug abuse, which began to show in me signs of madness. Mutually relating my being to the horrific events chained to my existence. I had become the things which haunted and consumed me beloved. I was a most degrading spectacle of humanity. I was reduced to unimaginable and unspeakable acts to attain a chemical substance. I used drugs to escape from my feelings.

Unknowingly, I was laying the foundation for an inescapable, Impenetrable and internally deep prison inside of myself. I ventured into the tortured ruins of not just myself, but of a once mighty people. My pain only became deeper burying me alive. Beloved, I also would like to mention that I feel very deeply. So in order to escape from my feelings I had to travel unto an inconceivable and impenetrable depth. It is a place void of understanding for humanity giving my mind no apparent reason to have associated my life, with the evil of such a place. I allowed it to breathe death inside of my body. There is only one reason the place exist. It is to capture and rid love from life in its’ alive state. The old phrase in too deep not quite deep enough. I was down there. At the same time the very essence of evil was orchestrating an even deeper pit to contain my very soul. Into this scene I was cast as most likely to either transform or disintegrate. Each fate equally designed to facilitate and further along a plan. I call it the utter obliteration of a man as he was created, by GOD.

The color of a man’s skin is still carrying a lot of weight as to the circumstances. A black man will encounter in this life. Then there is a system perpetuating itself moving thru time facilitating the distribution of insufficient truth, with false emphasis on key topics. This is done to alienate and not form the recoupment of a once mighty people. I feel like I need to say that, since it is a fact.

However, into this spectacle of a cloaked reality; there underlies, an even more sinister plot. The cloak is in full tilt mode with vestiges of inconspicuous lessons learned from an event that could take away love. Is love GOD? They are still being harbored in the hearts, souls and minds of men. Displaying the ability to conceal it-self often times from an individual in plain sight. I myself carry this unseen though apparent slave caricature of myself. It can be seen mirroring my image somehow staging its own performances through my actions. I would like to interject this concept into my story. The keepers of many ancient beliefs most of them stolen and some of them interpreted to consummate a cloak. Yielding their dominance, not just over black people some say, over all people, but for certain black people. They use the same tactics every different time. A system created to maintain their master superiority complex over a black man and woman; however, it also encompasses the poor along with the native people of this land. I would like to welcome along an unmentioned and often unknowing variable to the complex equation white people. That must exist on an infinite level quelling time and reason.

There is a system of few who control many to exemplify their power, strength and courage controlling the actions of others. Their identification of power and strength is built up on top of people, churches, and religions; with a depleted slice of some of mom’s good ole apple pie.

Changing every natural concept of truth, to set up and foster in regimental doctrine authorizing their control of other regimes. They have cast all over the earth. The rabbit hole runs even deeper in this land. But the hole is where I just came from. So I can say, I am like a scared rabbit running loose amongst a pack of still hungry wolves. Also, Beloved I shouldn’t have suffered like I did, for so many years. I should have had the inner strength and fortitude to pull myself together, no matter what. It should not have lasted so long, nor should the ordeal been so bizarre. Reducing me into a degrading spectacle of a human being, not even fit for the sideshow in a circus. Although, recently I have been told; they could fit me into, not a sideshow, but something like the lesser in standards, yet greater in value due to the reduction in appeal. This gives me a sickening feeling like torment. If only I had been able to capture the concept. It is a thing conceptualized for walking on and over the souls of other people and their religious or cultural beliefs. A means of dehumanizing them, then I might have fared better. I say that I would have, had to be like the so called masters of a culture thought to be distinguished.

The racist White supremacist armed with nearly every weapon. He has been endowed with a complicated sense of arrogance. It is contrived from a burning hollow pit caused by an over inflated mind an ego. To foster and maintain a sense of dominance over even, let’s say the very universe. Taking away the reality of whatever pertains to a people in this existence. Especially if the attributes aren’t in accord with his own perception, or simply to take ownership of them, and call it his idea or his if they exceed his own. This is done to introduce himself as unconquerable even against himself. He would then instruct the others to realign the walls and the halls of truth; with his own images, even setting them in his own desired way. So, when the inevitable internal war would begin its campaign of rage and horror on my life upon the earth. I could have summoned this power, strength and courage obtained by, theft or conquest from other lands and people. Whom were instantly deemed inferior. Thus, they didn’t need it or deserve it. Setting up on high my own bronze laden perspective of what the master say is the truth of myself. Also, with the vestiges of slavery still relinquishing to him, what has already been placed into storehouses. I am still being induced by pain. Storehouses filled with nearly every precious possession ever known, to identify their truth revealing them as a once mighty people. I wonder if, I would have been able to overcome the many obstacles I encountered. If I had this understanding inside of me or simply understood that it existed. The cloak is in full tilt mode. The evil poison set loose into the neighborhoods, streets, and communities of a people to make their struggle even harder. The implementation of the war on drugs is disguised. It really is meant to be about something else that we don’t talk about.

The war on drugs is something taken from the backdrop of a lynching; where children willingly burn themselves alive to escape from themselves and him. Also, I see a thing more horrible than death leisurely take its toll on destroying people and gaining souls. This action is symbolic of sacrificing whole regions of towns offering them to what I know is a lesser god, whole generations of men women and children. Only if I Had realigned my-self with what it wanted. I could have walked on or over people not concerned with what The Most High has now shown me. I would also have acquired the remnants of a stolen power to stand with the essence of evil. Then I could cast down all other beings, to symbolize the master’s plan as the truth. I am attempting to understand every aspect of who I am in relation to this, my existence. For out of this mindset came life. I am in search of my soul. The white racist supremacist is a part of the meaning, of my life. Together we are life on the earth. I need prayer. We all need prayer. I also have my own demons. Then there is the disturbing reality that the white racist wasn’t the only one who introduced control and manipulation. I don’t need any more confusion in my existence.

None-the-less had I been armed with this imperative of the master truth? Could I have even obtained the ability to seize pain and shift it unto others? I know I could have easily committed atrocities against myself and others, then calmly disengage from my feelings. I would alleviate all associations shifting to become the consummate of a cloak; out of proportion, to with what is natural. Thus, they don’t even see me coming to cause the demise of what stands in contrary to me. I can then submit them unto my indomitable will. Then with nothing being able to touch me or feel me, not even the earth when I stand upon it. I could have then been armed with the ability; to turn my feelings into a surface that exhibits a smooth slickness all of its own. I can then change into this slick surface, with nothing being able to stick to it. I would have already acquired the ability to cast down other beings likening my power to all gods. Let’s go home. But not to Africa, not just yet anyway, let us remain in my place of birth for awhile longer. The place is now a small-to-medium size town in the United States within the state of Georgia. The place is called Albany. Albany, Georgia has a different pronunciation of the name sharing it with no one. In the Deep South what is the southern parts of the United States. A place thought to be slow; but it is unknowingly, moving at the speed of light going internal with its movements. So In order to put things correctly, I must set up on high my own beliefs and perception changing what has been given to me.

For, I feel change is so very natural in this instance. Change has become a rational requirement for me. I want to align myself with what is real and natural like the earth. With that being so, I am PLAYING THE TIME CARD acknowledging the significance of the legacy, and of the relationship between the African Man and Woman, as they pertain to GOD and what is the truth. This will now allow and enable me to relate unto others on a level. I once was somewhat afraid to reveal. These thoughts I have existing inside of me. For they are different from what is taught to perceive as truth, in relation to the truth as a whole part.

I was not only ignorant and naïve to the fact and depth of the controlling parameters that exist around me in this society. But also to the existence of the many esoteric fronts that have spread themselves out to cover my community, and even other parts of the world. Thus, I have always been like a man who walked the earth somewhat afraid to how he stepped. This action of what became known as my behavior relegated me to assume the role of a follower rather than a leader. And only now do I realize; I have within my heart all the attributes of a genuine and refined leader. I can even exhibit exemplary leadership skills and abilities. My slave caricature was the prime benefactor into this reasoning of myself. Also, my family life was a contributing benefactor filled with open bouts of physical spousal abuse. These actions contained scenes of great mental anguish. They made my life harder. I became reluctant to display the method of how to stand and live in truth growing up in an unstable living environment. The required connection I needed with GOD non-apparent and a dead thing.

As a youth I allowed my circumstances to dictate the perception of my mind, instead of GOD. My growth didn’t stop. I just did not grow correctly. Thus the mind of a troubled youth became a man. The set in place system itself attacked and made life surreal for me also. The system is a concocted potion. I will talk about it later.

Albany surprisingly though did share most of the messages of truth. Albany taught me about some of my truth as a black African man. I was fortunate to have meet and been associated with my brother Tariq (not biological). I was very young when I met Tariq. He would talk about the truth of our own black African history. African history wasn’t something taught to me in school or anywhere else. I often met and listened to Tariq. When, he would speak to a group of young boys in the park or in the streets of my neighborhood. He was unusually dressed with a long shirt like robe over his clothes. But he had on pants. He had converted to Islam. He stated we were not supposed to ever learn of our ancestors. So I listened as he told us about our black African history. I was blown away, by what he told me.

I was 8 or 9 years old. When I was privy to have received of what I know now is the history and stolen legacy of a once mighty people. The manner in which I received this truth could not have been scripted and given to me any better. His words were full of passion and feeling; like tuning into the delivery method placing an emphasis on the knowledge being taught. The method I received this great knowledge was in a form. I now give notice unto. We were in the streets of our community on a positive vibe talking about our ancestors. We were attacked by war and pain preventing our love to grow properly. The spirit to embrace struggle and overcome has only now shown me the depth of the meaning of our love. We are glorious creations cast in the image, of the creator of the universe.

So, when the movie Roots appeared before my eyes touching my soul. I begin my quest for the truth. The truth of GOD and the association shared between persons of African ancestry. And of how they are so common, they are real. I found the truth about Africans who sold their brothers into slavery. This is a painful truth. But, behind his actions against his brother was an even darker force a greater evil. I found the truth of the evil perpetuated against Christ by the Romans. Yet, an even greater evil existed behind the acts of the Romans, with the Jews turning against innocence to convict the truth. I now ask myself who the early Jewish people were. They were once also called Hebrews. I now relate all of these things to my own life, and the lives of people struggling to overcome unjust circumstances. My own life was destroyed by an evil act, but behind my evil actions did an even greater evil exist to poison my existence.

The greater evil is behind evil directing every scene in the show staging a superimposed presence in all forms of life. I am past just believing in GOD. I know there is a GOD. I seek to unify my existence with The Most High GOD in all phases of my existence. Thus, I prepare for war and not peace, for to express love in this form. I must be prepared to face my death; and see the end away from this existence, and welcome death when it comes. The evil spawned upon my existence making Death seem so ordinary and trivial, because the death of this reality is eminent. Therefore, I have learned to welcome death, unafraid of its footsteps listening for its approach, but not with a state of high anticipation. I wait with an ease of comfort like a pleasant thing. The evil rendered upon my life by the facilitators of such events aiding me to attain this somewhat unusual outlook into the approaching face of death. The strength given them by society has vehemently spawned and announced their presence; to signal the demise of my abilities, to ever understand and attain the real truth.

Here is where I must emphasize the struggle I inherited. I never really forgot my association to love. I was deceived into sacrificing members of my own race, mostly the people. I loved the most. I have surmised my inability to navigate life and overcome my circumstances was mainly due to a lack of knowledge concerning the black man and woman. I was given a culture that I could not adapt into. The mistakes I made were due to my own lack of understanding of what is the truth. I don’t blame any man or woman, for none of the wrong that happened to me. There is a spiritual war going on to capture and destroy my soul. However, I now understand what the white man imposed upon the black man and woman was not slavery as defined by the word of GOD. I apologize for being wrong about some things. I give thanks unto GOD for revealing his truth to me. The thing our ancestors went through was meant to consume every human part of them, with a main emphasis on the mind. So just like you may have pity for me. I also have pity for you. For I see this thing still being perpetuated by ourselves and the white man, moving itself thru time. I simply try, sometimes with great difficulty just to adhere unto the teachings of GOD. For, the followers of Christ in order to connect with GOD have been given Euro-centric models of understanding stemming from their own interpretation. The connection people share with God is in no way restrained. (The sheep only suffer for a lack of knowledge, while on the earth) It is the presentation. It is introduced in a certain way; to obtain the means in which to interject their figure or concept into thought.

They are subtle in nature. But not in the way they are arranged. It is suggesting unto their method of control, on how to demonstrate a power to change absolute truth (the really real). All of these actions stimulate a diluting effect; that was meant to copy the wind attempting to mimic the pattern of time. There has been an introduction of principals, relating to topics outside the scope of what is original. The truth about this religion has been changed for the purpose of man, and is now interpreted to be, what is to be more acceptable. Instead, of having the desire to come together and share in the love of the Christ. We have been taught to separate everything, even our minds and most importantly love. Is love God, or is God love? Is man a God?

Seeing into the mind of a child, I whisper unto myself: I am confused and I don’t know anymore.

Thus, I am made into a fool. And no one considers the actions of a fool. Wait a moment, stop the press. The fool who has very little or no comprehension of love: is given the meaning of love? What is the meaning of this? I search into my soul for an answer. Could the meaning somehow implicate light (JAH). Suggesting He wants us to worship only Him; and not the deeds of His creation. I became ashamed of myself (mankind). And I no longer cared about my life. Soon after, I saw a storm raging with fire and flames coming from underneath the earth: opposing the rain that fell from the heavens.

I am speaking in an ancient tongue kneeling in prayer to a great king, in the conference of angelic beings. This is my prayer in consultation: (The street people are now talking.) I make an attempt to enter into the mind of a child, asking the question. What is the purpose of my soul? Do I have a soul? And if, I have a soul can I