Tales for the Perfect Child
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About this ebook
Ruby is reliable (kinda).
Arthur is careful (sorta).
Harry eats his carrots (though it depends on what you mean by “eat”).
And just like all perfect children, Gloria helps her mother (well, that might be an exaggeration).
As the eight deliciously wicked tales featured in this hilarious chapter book prove, it’s perfectly nice to be a perfect child—but where’s the fun in that?
Florence Parry Heide
Florence Parry Heide is the author of many acclaimed books, including Princess Hyacinth, Dillweed's Revenge, and The Shrinking of Treehorn, which was illustrated by Edward Gorey. She passed away in 2011.
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Book preview
Tales for the Perfect Child - Florence Parry Heide
Ruby
RUBY WANTED TO GO OVER to Ethel’s house to play. But Ruby’s mother said, You have to watch Clyde.
Clyde was Ruby’s baby brother. He had just learned to walk.
I don’t want to watch Clyde. I want to go over to Ethel’s house to play,
said Ruby.
Ruby’s mother was tired. She had been watching Clyde all day. You have to watch Clyde because I have to take a bubble bath,
said Ruby’s mother. She went into the bathroom.
Ruby called Ethel. I’ll be over in a minute.
Then Ruby watched Clyde.
She watched him take all of the clothes out of all of the drawers in all of the bureaus in all of the rooms.
She watched him take all of the rice and all of the flour and all of the salt and all of