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    What to Do
    What to Do
    What to Do
    Ebook92 pages3 hours

    What to Do

    By Pablo Katchadjian

    3/5

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    About this ebook

    A nameless narrator and his friend Alberto move through a constantly morphing continuum of dream-like situations while discussing philosophy, literature, and war. The impossible question of an enormous student in a lecture hall at an English university sets off a series of alternate paths that open before them like a fan. In taverns, boats, and plazas, the two protagonists discuss John Donne, Lawrence of Arabia, and Lenin with English students, a group of young and old women, and eight hundred drinkers, all the while being dropped from one strange place into the next. A remarkable work of refined surreal comedy. 
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDalkey Archive Press
    Release dateDec 29, 2016
    ISBN9781628971996
    What to Do
    Author

    Pablo Katchadjian

    Pablo Katchadjian was born in Buenos Aires in 1977. He is the author of three novels—What To Do, Thanks, and Total Freedom—and a wide array of short stories, poems, and essays. His artistic collaborations include an operatic adaptation of his work alongside the composer Lucas Fagin.

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    • 3/5
      You could imagine Pablo Katchadjian’s What To Do as narrating the dreams of Lars Iyer’s two philosophy professors from his extravagantly silly trilogy of novels – Spurious, Dogma and Exodus. It has the tense humour of commedia dell’ arte, a complex improvisation built on a multiplying set of objects and scenarios.In Katchadjian’s dream sequence narrative, multiple dreams within dreams reverberate like a two-voice sonata as the nameless narrator and his companion Alberto play a rhythmic association game with themes and counter-themes. Each of the dreams carries an individual signature but there are recurrent themes of humiliation, lack of communication, death and anxiety.As in dreams, there is no conclusion, just a sense upon awakening of the instability of identity. What To Do isn’t incoherent and I suspect if I mapped out the cyclical dream elements I might find an underlying structure; the outcome of each episode moves in gradations to the ministructure of the next. The novel’s ninety-nine pages are best read in a single sitting, perhaps as an indulgent bracer between other books.

    Book preview

    What to Do - Pablo Katchadjian

    1

    Alberto and I are giving a lecture at an English university when a student, in an aggressive tone, asks: "When philosophers speak, is what they say true or is it a double?" Alberto and I look at each other, somewhat anxious for not having understood the question. Alberto reacts first; he steps forward and responds that it’s impossible to know. The student, dissatisfied with this response, stands up (he’s eight feet tall), approaches Alberto, grabs him, and stuffs him into his mouth. But although this looks dangerous, not only do the students and I laugh, but Alberto, with half his body inside the student’s mouth, also laughs and says: It’s fine, it’s fine. Then, Alberto and I are suddenly in a plaza. An old man is feeding a flock of pigeons. Alberto approaches the old man and I get a bad feeling and want to stop him, but for some reason I can’t. Before Alberto reaches him, the old man somehow becomes a pigeon and tries to fly, but can’t. Alberto splints his wings and tells him that he’ll get better soon, that his problem is very normal. The old man looks happy. Then we’re suddenly in a restroom in a nightclub. For some reason, we’re in the women’s restroom. Five very pretty, well-dressed girls enter, sweaty from dancing so much. Alberto, up to something, approaches one of them, who seems to be very drunk or on drugs, and throws himself on top of her; from what I can see, she lets him do what he wants, although it’s not exactly clear what it is that he wants to do, because he only rubs himself against her as if his body itches; she responds in the same manner, and so it looks like they’re mutually scratching themselves. The other four approach me and suddenly the five of us are doing something that doesn’t make sense. It’s as if the scene were censored. Then I notice that the girls are old women; simultaneously, I hear Alberto talking to the drunk girl about Léon Bloy. He tells her that he wanted to be a saint and suffered because he couldn’t. He goes over the part where Véronique has all of her teeth pulled out and, although he remains still, it looks as if he wants to pull this girl’s teeth out. I grab him by the hood of his jacket and drag him outside of the restroom. It seems like Alberto is made of rags, he’s very light.

    2

    Alberto and I go to a toy store to pick out a gift for his nephew. Alberto grabs a broom and tells me: This is what I want. He buys it; when we go outside, it’s pouring. We stay under the toy store’s awning, but the space keeps filling up in a striking manner making us more and more uncomfortable. As if we were in a box, we’re pushed upwards by people who keep accumulating underneath us. When we reach the top, right before falling, we’re suddenly teaching in an English university. Alberto is explaining the meter of Lear’s limericks and somehow manages to relate everything to Lawrence of Arabia. I interrupt him to explain what Graves had to say about Lear, but Alberto gives me a look and whispers in my ear: Don’t brag, it’s not necessary. For some reason, what he says doesn’t bother me and I take it as sound advice that he can also apply to himself. A student stands up and asks why anarchists placed bombs in restaurants. Alberto begins to explain; meanwhile, the student grows taller until he reaches the ceiling. Alberto doesn’t realize the danger we’re in and, very focused, talks about Saint Isidore’s Etymologiae. To avoid having the tall student stuff him into his mouth again, I grab Alberto by the hood of his jacket and take him out of there. Suddenly we’re in a bank; Alberto wants to sell a broom (which isn’t the same one he bought before although he thinks it is). We reach the counter and Alberto explains his problem to the teller. She’s naked but Alberto doesn’t seem to notice. I try pointing this out but he scowls while motioning with his hand. I don’t know how the transaction turns out, but afterwards Alberto seems like he’s made of rags. I try moving him but only succeed in making him blink.

    3

    Alberto and I are in some kind of empty lot. About ten English students arrive and take their places as if we were in a classroom. Now it looks like we’re in a classroom in an English university. I’m explaining one of Boethius’s ideas, but Alberto interrupts me. The students get angry at him because, so they say, they’re interested in what I’m teaching. But Alberto keeps interrupting and when he gets some words in, half the students listen to him and the other half insist that I keep talking. The situation keeps worsening until we’re suddenly in a shoe-repair shop. Alberto gives his black boots to the cobbler and asks him to replace the heel. The cobbler does it in ten seconds and brags about his agility, saying: Ten seconds! Ten seconds! Alberto puts his boots on, but one heel is four inches higher than the other one. I tell Alberto that he won’t be able to walk like that, but he doesn’t understand the problem. Alberto pays the cobbler and we leave. Suddenly we’re in a wine cellar. I see that there are about eight hundred people drinking wine. Alberto and I serve

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