Dads Just Want to Have Pun!
By Josh Kilen
()
About this ebook
Do you love puns, bad jokes, and humor that only Dads, and Dads-in-Training, can appreciate? From terrible puns to tall tales that will have your audience groaning with laughter, this book has everything you need to tell awfully funny jokes.
If you’re a Dad, you will love it. If you’re a child, you will grow wiser and more wonderful in your father’s eyes with each terrible but hilarious joke you tell him.
Do yourself a favor, get this book and become the life of the party, an instant wit, and possibly your father’s favorite child.
Josh Kilen
Josh began writing books at age 8 and hasn't stopped telling stories. He has written more than 30 books across several genres, from children's books to business non-fiction.
Read more from Josh Kilen
Social Joy: A Quick, Easy Guide to Social Media for Writers, Artists, and Other Creatives Who Hate Marketing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSocial Joy: A Quick, Easy Guide to Social Media for Authors, Artists, and Other Creative Types Who Hate Marketing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSean Ryanis & The Impossible Chase Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWalking the Narrow Road: Weekly Marketing and Spiritual Devotionals for Christians in Buisness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShadow of Atlantis Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Superhero Chronicles: Birth of Moonlight Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJust a Little Apocalypse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIn the Beginning: The First Four Tell Me A Story Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChore-Awesome: How to Get Your Kids To Do Chores Without Asking Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGo Write Now: How to Escape the Tyranny of Big Publishers and Become a Successful Publishing Author Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related to Dads Just Want to Have Pun!
Related ebooks
Punny Puns - The Ultimate Collection Of Awfully Funny, Clever & Witty Puns Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Word Play Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJokes Every Man Should Know Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Really Good 'Really Bad Dad Jokes' Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Laughter Still Is the Best Medicine: Our Most Hilarious Jokes, Gags, and Cartoons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Super Dad Jokes: Over 500 Super Bad Dad Jokes for Every Joke Book Hero, the Perfect Father's Day Gift! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5joke bank - Popular Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHardcore Humor.....Your Phd In Dirty Jokes & Kickass Insults Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings300 Best Jokes: Dirty One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 2) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings687 One-Liner Jokes Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5969 Great Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings40 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 6 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings40 of the Most Hilarious Dirty Jokes Ever Volume 2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBest Jokes: For Adults Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Father's Day Gift! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDad Jokes: The Punniest Joke Book Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Die Laughing: Killer Jokes for Newly Old Folks Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Absurdly Big Adult Joke Book Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Funny Jokes Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5F for Effort: More of the Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings100+ Insults Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Funniest Five Thousand Jokes, Part 1 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/51001 Kids' Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pimpology: The 48 Laws of the Game Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shipped Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing to See Here: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Dads Just Want to Have Pun!
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Dads Just Want to Have Pun! - Josh Kilen
Introduction
Dads love puns. As a man becomes a father, he is forced to accept that he loves cheesy wordplay. Dads also love that awkward moment after saying a truly awful pun, and before his child’s realization that he or she has been assaulted by a terrible joke. I know that’s what happened with me.
A Dad’s love of puns doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not like my son was born and suddenly I started shouting punny lines at the nurse and doctor. It’s not a virus. But it might be a slowly infecting disease, passed down from father to male child throughout history. One day I groaned at puns, and before I knew it I was laughing at them and making my own.
I’ve accepted it now.
This book is a celebration of puns, jokes, and humor that only Dads can appreciate. If you’re a Dad, you will love it. If you’re a child, you will grow wiser and more wonderful in your father’s eyes with each terrible but hilarious joke you tell. I know they say they love you unconditionally, and all the kids equally... but jokes help. Trust me.
So, do your Dad a solid. Give him this book that he’ll probably put in the bathroom and read while he poops. He’ll howl with laughter and torture you with Dad puns for the next year. But at least you’ll be his favorite.
35 Amazing
Jokes and Puns
––––––––
- 1 -
Mario Pazzoli, a famous Italian chef, died recently of a terminal illness. Although he pastaway, he will be remembered fonduly. At his funeral, his brother gave a beautiful eulogy. He said, You Cannoli do so much to save your loved ones. Now Mario is just a pizza history.
- 2 -
I had to quit my job as a personal trainer. I’m just too scrawny. I gave them my too weak notice.
- 3 -
Cindy the Cow was so pleased to receive a very prestigious award that recognized her for being outstanding in her field.
- 4 -
An elementary school teacher in Los Angeles asks her class who their favorite basketball team is. All the students say the Lakers, but one little girl says hers is the Warriors.
Why are you a Warriors fan?
the teacher asks.
Because my Mom is a Warriors fan, and my Dad is a Warriors fan!
the girl replies.
The teacher said, Well you shouldn’t just follow what your parents think. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron?
The girl says, Then I’d be a Lakers fan!
- 5 -
A bacterium stolls into a restaurant, and walks straight back into the kitchen, ignoring everyone’s inquisitive looks.
Once in the back, the head chef looks over and sees him. Hey, you can’t be back here! Employees only.
The bacteria nods and says, It’s okay, I’m staph.
- 6 -
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, How much for a drink?
To which the bartender replies, For you, no charge.
- 7 -
A German man travels to Poland. Once he gets to the border, he is stopped by Polish Immigration.
Occupation?
they ask him.
No, just a holiday.
- 8 -
A British man leaves on vacation to Australia. Once he arrives, the customs guard asks him, Do you have any criminal record?
The British man looks a bit worried and responds, I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that was still required.
- 9 -
What did 8 say to 3?
WE’RE GETTING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL! JUST HOLD ON!
- 10-
What did the O say to the Q?
Put that thing away!
- 11 -
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt
- 12 -
A man walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat. Before he orders a his food, a waiter comes by and places a bowl of tortilla chips in front of him.
Before the man can reach for a chip, they say, Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.
The man is shocked, but tries to ignore the chips and orders a soda. The chips say, Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You’re a very smart man.
Starting to freak out, the guy says to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to