Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Unavailable
    Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
    Unavailable
    Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
    Unavailable
    Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
    Ebook318 pages3 hours

    Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

    By Leanne Shirtliffe

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    Hilarious true stories of raising twins from the author of the Ironic Mom blog: “Shirtliffe is awesome and so is this book.” —Jenny Lawson
     
    When Leanne Shirtliffe and her husband, Chris, discovered she was pregnant with twins while they were living abroad in Bangkok, they cried laughing. Then they just cried. And finally, they got on with the incredible, hilarious adventure of raising two kids in Asia’s city of sin.
     
    In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe explores the hazards of everyday life with children, recounting her time as a parent in both Thailand and North American suburbia with humor and touching insight. Even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she comes to realize she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for their therapy fund. And possibly her own.
     
    “Comic gold.” —Publishers Weekly
     
    “Witty commentary on the common ups and downs of being a new parent, times two.” —Kirkus Reviews
     
    “Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the trials and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!”—Elizabeth Boyle
     
    “Laugh-out-loud-funny. I swear, she’s living in my house and taking notes.” —Jill Smokler
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherOpen Road Integrated Media
    Release dateNov 3, 2015
    ISBN9781634509251
    Unavailable
    Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

    Read more from Leanne Shirtliffe

    Related to Don't Lick the Minivan

    Related ebooks

    Relationships For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Queen Of Common Sense.

      Dec 10, 2020

      Queen Of Common Sense.
      9 min read

    • Article

      Parent Opinions

      Mar 3, 2022

      Parent Opinions
      8 min read

    • Article

      When You Need The Money

      Oct 1, 2021

      When You Need The Money
      7 min read

    • Article

      The Happiness Course

      Apr 14, 2021

      JUST as Family and Friends Divided had become Friends Reunited and the wretched Trump era laid to rest, Harry and Meghan gave their Oprah interview and a whole new Grand Canyon opened up again. This chasm really surprised me because my team was aston

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Creative Hero’s Journey: 5 Reasons You Should Write Your Book, Paint Your Picture, Sing Your Song

      Dec 9, 2021

      Estimated reading time: 10 minutes — I used to be a professional disease hunter, a board-certified surgical pathologist. I was the M.D. in a white coat who stared at your skin (or breast, brain or bone, etc.) biopsy under the microscope and let your

      6 min read

    • Article

      The Unlikely Minimalist

      Jun 3, 2020

      The Unlikely Minimalist
      8 min read

    • Article

      Minimalist

      Jun 3, 2020

      Minimalist
      8 min read

    • Article

      When You Need The Money

      Oct 1, 2021

      When You Need The Money
      7 min read

    • Article

      Liane Moriarty

      Nov 26, 2018

      The best-selling author of Big Little Lies on her new book, sibling rivalry and unhealthy obsession along the path to wellness

      2 min read

    • Article

      Penny For Your Thoughts

      Aug 26, 2020

      Penny For Your Thoughts
      3 min read

    • Article

      Cool Dads: Tough Times Edition

      Jul 3, 2022

      Cool Dads: Tough Times Edition
      7 min read

    • Article

      What I Deserve

      Apr 13, 2022

      IN THE past two years I have opened a bookstore while keeping my day job; finished a novel draft and written another novel draft; grieved the death of a friend, and another friend; started and stopped multiple vitamin regimens; watched my mother slip

      8 min read

    • Article

      Virginia Ironside

      Jul 27, 2022

      Q I’ve read all the publicity around Emma Thompson’s film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande and gather it’s about an older woman finding a young man who teaches her how to have an orgasm. I’ve never had an orgasm in my life and I’d love to experience good

      3 min read

    • Article

      No One Wants To Hear Your Whole Life Story

      Jun 18, 2019

      The bad news about memoir: Nobody wants to read your life story. The good news: That means you don’t have to write your life story. Once you start a memoir with the glorious moment you were born, planning to sail onward through early childhood and th

      5 min read

    • Article

      Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

      Dec 11, 2023

      Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
      9 min read

    • Article

      Balancing Act: My Kids Are On Vacation Without Me. It's Lovely And Terrible

      Aug 28, 2018

      "I just read that whole thing start-to-finish," my husband marveled. It wasn't "Middlemarch." It was a Tribune column about the 1968 Democratic National Convention. But he read it, start-to-finish, on a Sunday morning, which is normally a whirlwind o

      3 min read

    • Article

      A Truthteller’s Toolkit

      Apr 25, 2020

      Once upon a time, a writer might contact an agent and confess their desire to publish an essay collection. And once upon a time, an agent might have resisted an urge to laugh in the writer’s face. As a form, essays had fallen out of favor, hard, and

      8 min read

    • Article

      The First Laugh

      Oct 9, 2023

      The First Laugh
      7 min read

    • Article

      Family Ties

      May 2, 2021

      Family Ties
      4 min read

    • Article

      After-effects

      Feb 9, 2021

      After-effects
      12 min read

    • Article

      Table Talk

      Jun 1, 2019

      Table Talk
      9 min read

    • Article

      A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling

      Dec 16, 2017

      I don’t think I’ve read another book so deft in transmitting both the desire and the violence that are bound up in the production of knowledge. The post A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling appeared first on The Millions.

      8 min read

    • Article

      Planting Seeds

      Jan 4, 2024

      Planting Seeds
      6 min read

    Reviews for Don't Lick the Minivan

    4/5

    4 ratings1 review

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      A truly beautiful mix of laughter and love This is the kind of parent I want to hang with. She obviously loves her children beyond reason, but is frank about how hard and boring it is at times. Even the more Sappy (her word, not mine) passages are fabulous. Real, sweet, yet never ever what I would consider sappy Yup this one made the JR Staff Pick - it is my duty to help out those new parents who want to buy What to Expect When You're Expecting - and get them to buy something more practical (trust me just get those parenting books that help you with the medical stuff and than just buy parenting books like this that make you laugh - that will help you more. Trust your instincts people, love your child and believe in yourself - that makes all the difference) Oh yeah and don't do everything for them, they need to learn to do things themselves (When I worked in a college library I saw what happens when mom and dad did everything for them -- they have no idea how to survive) She understands what its like to be a parent after "working for a living" Impressed with the fact that she breastfed even though she had Mastitis - I totally feel like a wimp now LOL! Loved all her stories about living in Thailand Really respected her decision to mention she had postpartum depression but doesn't go into detail. As some of you know I suffered the same fate and don't want to burden or remember that horrible darkness but I too am not ashamed Halloween Candy - yup we are simpatico on this one and the Santa Clause as discipline routine Makes you feel like you are not alone - and if you are a parent, you know how important this isThe Not So Good Stuff She made me snort with laughter on Calgary Transit and people stared (Yup not in TTC territory anymore where people are used to weirdos laughing out loud in public and they don't stare at youFavorite Quotes/Passages" Parenting Tip: Keep your household well stocked with these items essential to newborns: diapers, wipes, alcohol, alcohol, and alcohol""Being parents, we boarded early so we could keep our babies cooped up in an enclosed space even longer. As we sat on the tarmac, we watched innocent passengers struggle down the aisle to our row, recheck their boarding passes in disbelief, and wonder what they did to get such bad karma.""Parenting Tip: When you ask your children a question, the reply "nothing" means they're guilty. Either investigate or hide.""I smiled, wondering how many times Canada's Prime Minister had been compared to a Ken doll."Who Should/Shouldn't Read Fans of Kathy Buckworth will eat this up Every parent or expectant parent should read this - this is real folks, not those holier than thou textbook parenting books that make you feel like you are the worst parent in the world (BTW that I also totally threw out 6 months into my first child's life)4.75 Dewey'sI purchased a copy of this because I met the author and after talking to her figured anything she wrote would appeal to me - yup right again