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    Enthralled
    Enthralled
    Enthralled
    Ebook1,304 pages18 hours

    Enthralled

    By Pamela Ann

    3.5/5

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    About this ebook

    A five-book box set. 

    Three full-length novels are packed with possessive Alpha men. These sexy stories are filled with love, lust, tension and agony--with heated passion that grips into your soul. It's a roller coaster ride that will leave you elated. Breathless. Enticed.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPamela Ann
    Release dateNov 3, 2017
    ISBN9781540120113
    Enthralled
    Author

    Pamela Ann

    is a New York Times and USA Today Best Selling Author. She studied Fashion Marketing in United Kingdom and has a degree in Business. She has a penchant for pastries, dogs, renaissance paintings, steamy angst-filled novels and traveling.  Get personal notification through your email when Pamela Ann has something new coming out. Join in on special two-chapter previews for upcoming releases, giveaways, current promos, announcements & more. SUBSCRIBE FOR THE NEWSLETTER HERE: http://eepurl.com/PnuMj YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW HER... Website: http://pamelaannbooks.com Blog: http://pamelaannbooks.blogspot.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pamela.annauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/PamelaAnnAuthor  

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      Book preview

      Enthralled - Pamela Ann

      ENTHRALLED

      ENTHRALLED

      A BOX SET

      Pamela Ann

      Contents

      BOOK LIST

      Unapologetic

      Quote

      Prologue

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      //

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Chapter 7

      Chapter 8

      //

      Chapter 9

      Chapter 10

      Chapter 11

      Chapter 12

      Chapter 13

      Chapter 14

      //

      Chapter 15

      //

      Chapter 16

      Chapter 17

      Chapter 18

      //

      Chapter 19

      Chapter 20

      //

      Chapter 21

      Chapter 22

      Chapter 23

      Chapter 24

      Chapter 25

      Unapologetic Series

      Untitled

      Chasing Beautiful

      Dedication

      Chapter 26

      Chapter 27

      Chapter 28

      Chapter 29

      Chapter 30

      Chapter 31

      Chapter 32

      Chapter 33

      Chapter 34

      Chapter 35

      Chapter 36

      Chapter 37

      Chapter 38

      Chapter 39

      Chapter 40

      Chapter 41

      Chapter 42

      Chapter 43

      Chapter 44

      Chapter 45

      Chapter 46

      Chapter 47

      Chapter 48

      Chapter 49

      Chapter 50

      Chapter 51

      Chapter 52

      Chapter 53

      Chapter 54

      Chapter 55

      Chapter 56

      Chapter 57

      Chapter 58

      Chapter 59

      Untitled

      Untitled

      Chasing Imperfection

      60. Blake

      61. Sienna

      62. Blake

      Bartered

      Bartered

      Acknowledgments

      63. Hugo

      64. Hugo

      65. Hugo

      66. Hugo

      67. Isobel

      68. Hugo

      69. Isobel

      70. Isobel

      71. Isobel

      72. Hugo

      73. Isobel

      74. Isobel

      75. Isobel

      76. Hugo

      77. Isobel

      78. Isobel

      79. Hugo

      80. Isobel

      81. Isobel

      82. Isobel

      83. Isobel

      84. Hugo

      85. Isobel

      86. Isobel

      87. Hugo

      88. Isobel

      89. Isobel

      The Encounter Trilogy

      Signup

      Lily’s Mistake

      Acknowledgments

      To my family, thank you for everything

      Prologue

      1

      Break

      2

      Break

      3

      4

      5

      6

      7

      Break

      8

      Break

      9

      Break

      10

      Break

      Break

      11

      12

      13

      Break

      14

      Break

      Break

      15

      Break

      16

      17

      Break

      Break

      18

      Break

      Break

      19

      Break

      20

      Break

      21

      22

      Break

      Break

      23

      Break

      24

      Break

      25

      Break

      26

      Break

      Break

      27

      Epilogue

      Lily’s Mistake Order

      Scornfully Yours

      Untitled

      Prologue

      Untitled

      Untitled

      Chapter 90

      Untitled

      Chapter 91

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      Chapter 92

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      Chapter 93

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      Chapter 94

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      Chapter 95

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      Chapter 96

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      Chapter 97

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      Chapter 98

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      Chapter 99

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      Chapter 100

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      Chapter 101

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      Chapter 102

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      Chapter 103

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      Chapter 104

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      Chapter 105

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      Chapter 106

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      Chapter 107

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      Chapter 108

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      Chapter 109

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      Chapter 110

      Untitled

      Chapter 111

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      Chapter 112

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      Chapter 113

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      Chapter 114

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      Chapter 115

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      Chapter 116

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      Chapter 117

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      Chapter 118

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      Chapter 119

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      Chapter 120

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      Chapter 121

      Untitled

      Also by Pamela Ann

      BOOK LIST

      UNAPOLOGETIC

      CHASING BEAUTIFUL

      BARTERED

      LILY’S MISTA

      SCORNFULLY YOURS

      Unapologetic

      synopsis

      River Ellis was a whirlwind of an experience when life was monotonously bland, harshly unforgiving and unequivocally foul. He showed me a world that wasn’t gray, nor black or white. We were bright and colorful, purely unadorned and raw, stripped of superficial perceptions of life.

      He was my childhood friend. My lover. My partner. I loved and worshipped him with entirety, with every pulse. With every bated breath in my body, I was his and he was mine. We burned brighter than the sun, and together, we clashed, fell, and soared. Together, we made the perfect harmony.

      Then everything changed the moment he decided to chase his dream. While he became riveted in Hollywood’s glittery façade, I found myself alone, whereas he lived his life to the fullest. I became the shadow of his past, dimming in the sunlight that we once orbited and gravitated. Gradually, as time passed, the inevitable happened. Then darkness completely filled my life, cloaking me and embracing me when I became fragile and utterly broken, teaching me the hardest lesson of all.

      It’s better to have loved with my all and having had the chance to know what it’s like to find something so beautiful than endure a lifetime of never knowing it at all.

      It made me fathom that such beauty shouldn’t be held on to. You shouldn’t choke it, stifling it until life drained away. Instead, you had to let go, set it free, and let it ride the waves so other people could experience that one of a kind rapturous, profound mystery as I once had.

      Love was blinding and beautiful, but it also was a casualty. And after the tumultuous breakdown I had, I’m earnestly devoted in avoiding it at all cost.

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      Digital Edition

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

      All rights reserved. This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      All rights reserved.

      Copyright © 2017 by Pamela Ann

      To my sister,

      Thank you.

      Your first love isn’t always the first person you kiss,

      or the first person you date.

      Your first love is the person you will always compare everyone to.

      The person that you will never truly get over, even when you’ve convinced yourself you’ve moved on.

      Unknown

      Prologue

      Ten years ago…

      Being unwanted was a sufferance I was familiar with. It hounded me from the moment I was born and every waking moment since. No one really wanted me—not even my parents. My mother was so aghast that she took her own life—dying was much more a comfort than taking care of the baby she bore .

      As a child, I learned how to mask my emotions. Though shattered and broken inside, the mask I wore protected me from inquisitive eyes, especially from those who lavished on inflicting pain. Even though I was only eleven years old, I had learned that showing emotions made people uncomfortable, fickle, and they would use it to their advantage, as a weapon against you. In the end, it was best to stay guarded, grounded, and unmoved from the madness of my environment. It was what I did best, the unperturbed, emotionless Cara Quinn.

      Hello, I’m Mattie, and this is my husband Tony. You’ll be living with us from now on.

      Hesitant with this new acquaintance, I glanced toward Lisa, the social worker, who gave me a warm encouraging smile.

      Hello, I murmured back as I scrutinized the middle-aged woman. She had a warm smile, as did her husband, but they all had that warm and sunny façade in the beginning, so I was holding my reservation.

      This had been the third home I had been transferred to. A place where kids who weren’t adopted came to for a last chance of normalcy of what they call home.

      Even at the tender age of eleven, I knew adults couldn’t be trusted. The last home proved that. Had it not been for Lisa’s prying and poking, the abuse would have continued. It was a horror of a place where the wife turned a blind eye on her husband’s rage and sadistic tendencies. She had once reasoned that had I not been in the picture, she would be the one on the firing line. Therefore, it had been better me to get the beating than ruin her delicate face. It had been the main and sole reason she had taken me in—to save herself.

      We prepared lunch for your arrival, sweetheart, Mattie interrupted my thoughts as she took hold of my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze before guiding me toward the living room where she had placed a small feast on the glass coffee table.

      I quietly ate my mac and cheese while Lisa and the Shaws discussed me. This was a process I was so accustomed to that I became immune to it. So, while they chatted, I was lost in thought, before a small boy waved at me from out of nowhere, sporting an infectious smile from the across the room. Then he quickly disappeared out in the garden. I assumed the other kids were out playing as well because, coming from the squeals and laughter, they seemed to be having great fun. As the fun grew louder out back, Mattie Shaw encouraged me to step outside and join them while they finished up the paperwork.

      The woman seemed so sincere that I was a little shocked to find myself walking toward the garden. The kid I saw earlier spotted me immediately, hastily gunning toward where I rigidly stood, awkward and unsure.

      I’m River. He showed perfectly even teeth with a dimple on his left cheek. Will you be my new playmate?

      I wasn’t much of a friendly person, and I liked keeping to myself, but for some odd inexplicable reason, I somehow didn’t want to disappoint and ignore him.

      I don’t play well with other kids.

      It had happened after I had gotten bullied and blamed for all the other kids’ faults. Somehow, the adults never believed me when I reasoned that I didn’t cause broken furniture, setting the playhouse on fire, or stealing money from their wallets. I had done none of those, yet I had gotten all the blame. River looked like he would be the same type of troublesome kid that would get me moved to another home. You see, kids got very territorial when they felt threatened if the administrator or the foster parents became keen on the new kid.

      Two boys and one girl, who were also in the backyard, didn’t come over and introduce themselves as River had. Instead, they warily watched me, studying me like a new animal in the kingdom.

      Withdrawing from their austere faces, I went back inside without bothering to say good-bye to any of them, including River.

      While the adults busied themselves, I politely asked where my new room would be. Lisa had previously informed me that I would be sharing a room with another girl, so that mean-looking kid would be my roommate. Hopefully, she would stay out of my way, because I abhorred drama and the nauseating squeals of pubescent teens.

      After a short description of where my room was located, I carried the small duffel bag in my hand that consisted of all of my belongings. Stopping at the opened door, I glanced about the peach colored room. The size was bigger than what I was used to, the ambiance warm and inviting. Mrs. Shaw even had rainbow decals on the walls to make the room bright and welcoming.

      I strode toward the opposite side of the room where the plainly laid out lavender colored bed was situated against the wall. The other girl’s bed had all sorts of dolls on it. I found myself staring at it, wondering why girls bothered playing with dolls. They were eerie and ordinary. Why waste time on something boring?

      Drawing my eyes away from the display of girly stuff, I placed my bag on the bed and began to pull my clothes out. Piece by piece, I hung them while tiptoeing on a chair, when I lost my balance and roughly landed flat on the floor.

      I heard River enter the room, yet I was too ashamed to meet his gaze. My eyes watered, but I steeled myself from shedding any tears. It was my first day here, and if they witnessed how weak I was by proving that I was a crybaby, I wouldn’t last long.

      The thought of moving again made me ill. And for some reason, after witnessing how Mattie and Tony interacted with the other kids, their concern and warmth seemed sincere enough. I wanted to be a part of that, even just for a little while before I was moved again.

      Unexpectedly, River sat next to me on the floor then set his little, dirty hand on mine. I’ll hold your hand until you’re okay.

      For a kid, he was different. I never thought I could be friends with anyone, but it seemed I found one in him.

      Thank you for being so kind to me. Shyly glancing at him, my stomach felt warm when I saw that particular dimple of his when he broke into a smile.

      You’re family now, so we always have to look out for each other, he stated softly, like it was something to believe in, something to fight for.

      I sat there, gazing around at my new surroundings and, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere.

      Chapter One

      Tonight had been much more of a success than I had ever anticipated. All the waitressing and odd jobs I had to work, sacrificing ungodly hours just to get by living in this expensive city while chasing my ambition had finally come to fruition .

      The night air was crisp, still, and dangerously inviting. It cleared my senses from the stifled surroundings I had been in moments before. Heaving out a breath of relief, I stared at the darkened hills surrounding me as images of my struggles flashed before my very eyes, leaving a yearning for something I had lost. This was my dream come to life. Yet, it didn’t feel as good as I had imagined. It should have been sweet, triumphant even, but somehow, it lacked those gratifying aspects.

      The stellar reviews for the online streaming show was plentiful, but as much as I wanted the praises, I didn’t know how to handle it. Obviously, it wasn’t a mammoth success compared to blockbuster films. However, shows with well-thought-out plots and an outstanding cast were being recognized through the recent years more than ever. Not to mention, it was an amazing platform to show one’s craft and potential.

      I was lucky to have been casted in Clover, surrounded by people with like-minded souls. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I was happy, enthralled. Amongst it all, however, I couldn’t deny the blatant fact that something was amiss.

      Feeling beyond dejected, I considered heading back inside to rejoin the party, when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck spring to life. This meant one thing and one thing only.

      He had finally found me. He was here.

      We were entwined in almost psychic ways. And God help me, after two years of absence, the pull was just as powerful as I had remembered.

      Biting back a disgruntled groan, I remained unmoving, composed and immobile, waiting with bated breath for him to break the charged silence that seemed to choke the life out of me.

      Cara Quinn, I’ve found you at last. Congrats on the new show, by the way.

      Ah, Satan had definitively arrived.

      I had often wondered how long it would take him to seek me out once those promotional billboards were plastered all over Sunset Boulevard. It didn’t surprise me that he had shown up for the show’s party. This was, after all, his oyster, and I had just stepped into it. His glittering jungle of beauty, vanity, and narcissism.

      River Ellis was Hollywood’s newly minted favorite bachelor. Dangerously handsome with his dark looks, equipped with a chiseled body and a stellar ability to act with profound complexity. Not to mention, he could sing in a deep, throaty voice that went straight into one’s soul. He was the ultimate package, so it wasn’t a shock that he had made it in this industry without breaking a stride.

      His supporting role in a major production film was his huge breakout into the star he was today. He simply had it in him. He was born for this acting lifestyle; whereas I, it had to be thoroughly developed through drama classes. And of course, with the help of Mrs. Newell.

      Nevertheless, he was just River to me. The man I grew up with in a group home, the one who had protected me when I was bullied, the one who I had loved with my entirety yet had let me down in all ways possible. And he was one of the reasons I came here … just so I could prove my worth, to him and to myself.

      Pressing my lips together, I spun to face the man I had loved with no rhyme nor reason once upon a time. River Ellis still looked gorgeously lethal, but I knew better.

      Instead of the usual heart palpitation and breathlessness I was so accustomed to whenever we were together, this time around, I felt nothing. My heart didn’t jump for joy. It was cold, cold as ice, though I could swear that, if he kept roving those hawk eyes all over me, I would thaw out.

      Why bother coming here at all? If you’re here to taunt or mock me, I’m not in the mood. I wanted to easily dismiss him so he could leave me be. Knowing how the man functioned, though, he wasn’t going away just because I shooed him off. No, this man was as stubborn as they came. Just like Satan, he was sinful, just as deceiving, and ruthless to the core.

      Through the blanket of darkness, I could see his eyes peruse me, studying me with blistering intensity, like I was some unique specimen. My daring black cutout dress made me feel naked when those laser-like eyes roamed over my body.

      They did say success sometimes makes people bitchy. Don’t let it get to your head, Cara. You’re better than that.

      His distasteful retort didn’t rile me up. It left me more guarded.

      Thanks for the lecture, but I must get back inside, I said while giving him a death glare. Enjoy the party.

      River’s dark eyes sought me out. I could feel his anger vibrating against the energy between us. It was charged, as suffocating as it was threatening. I came back for you, Cara, but you were gone, he hissed out between clenched teeth. You up and left without warning.

      Why? I wanted to interrupt, but I didn’t bother. Whatever for? Why make the effort? After he had strung me along for a future that had never happened, I saw no point harping on the past. Life was less complicated without him in it. And I wanted it to stay that way. If he had any designs in keeping me in his life while he pranced around tinsel town, hopping from one bed to the next, he could think again. I had no desire in being part of his long list of harem.

      You’ve congratulated me, and I thank you for that, but honestly, River, I have nothing else to say to you. Goodnight. I gestured for him to step aside, meaning to walk away from him, but he hastily grasped my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

      You can dismiss me all you like, but you can’t run from me forever. I’ve found you after almost two years without hearing from you, Cara. Don’t be stupid to think that I’m easily going to let you go. No. Not this time. Never again.

      I wasn’t his property. I could do as I pleased. Those days were long gone. He had me, and what had he done? He royally messed it up like any playboy would. Idiot me had eaten up whatever promises he had thrown my way. That naive girl had long since died, along with our wretched memories.

      Recalling how he had mistreated me stung to no end. For some time, I had been relieved to have escaped them—him. Now it seemed that it was time to face the tune of my past.

      Scrutinizing him with pure and unreserved disdain, I stood my ground and found strength to fight fire with fire. Not let me go, River? I questioned with disbelief. I’m with Parker now. I’ve replaced you, just as you thoughtlessly did me.

      His grip on my arm tightened, clearly stung by my words. No matter what you think and believe, I’ve never forgotten you, Cara. Not for a moment … Not by any means.

      If his purpose was to disarm me, he had better try again.

      It’s much too late for any of that.

      Once upon a time, hearing him utter those words would have made me run back to him in a heartbeat, but a lot of time had passed. Now, I could honestly admit that I was immune to his empty promises. That was all he could ever offer me, nothing more.

      I need to get back inside. Parker will be looking for me soon.

      He looked perplexed as he held his breath, staring down at my determined face. He was so close I could feel the warmth from his body, slowly breaking down my barriers. His sex appeal was unparalleled. He radiated potent sex, and as much as I hated to confess it, he still affected me. Undoubtedly, he was still the sexiest man I had ever gazed upon. At that slight admission, an unwelcomed tremor zinged all over my body. Ugh, not now. Damn hormones.

      Meet me sometime later, just this once … to talk. Nothing more, I promise. His voice was low and steady, while his body was in complete restraint, trying to hold back from something. It reminded me of a caged animal; ready to pounce.

      And why would I be so stupid as to do that? Talk? He meant closure, right? Surely, I could handle finally closing the lid on my past? But I wasn’t too sure, not when he could demand my body’s attention by simply gazing at me.

      "Because we owe it to each other, and to the seven years of love and friendship we shared, he stated resolutely, with an acute emphasis on the word love," as though I were too dense not to comprehend.

      Oh yeah, love. He spoke so freely of the word that I thought he knew what it entailed. Apparently not.

      River was going to dredge up everything—the good, the bad, and the downright rotten. I sensed it. I knew him enough to know that he wouldn’t hold anything back.

      What would he try to prove? I worriedly wondered. He had been the one to leave the relationship. Although he wouldn’t fully admit it, he had mentally checked out the moment he selfishly began choosing decisions that affected the both of us. Ones that had left me in tatters, emotionally unstable and physically insecure. I’d had no one—no parents, no family to speak of—so for him to stab at the very core of my instability made me realize that being his side piece wasn’t going to cut it. I’d had to save myself, and that was what I did. And now that I had accomplished it, here he was, marching back into my domain and threatening to ruin the fine threads that held me together.

      River never did like rejection, and I could bet my life that this weighed heavily on his ego.

      Though he was being emotionally manipulative, if this would get him to leave me alone, then I would meet with him. One must face and slay their demons at some point in their life. This was my chance. Besides, deep down, I knew I had prepared myself for this very moment.

      I comforted myself that I was truly done with him. As long as I kept that in mind, I was safe from River Ellis’s selfish grasp. Top it off with the fact that Parker and I had just begun dating, I didn’t need the ghost of my past ruining anything with my new budding relationship. Knowing how River was, it would be wise to settle scores with him now than let this fester to a point where it would be difficult for me to read him. There were shades of his anger I was familiar with, and right this instant, I could see that as long as I held my ground, his intentions, good or bad, were going nowhere.

      Fine then. Where do you want to meet?

      Give me your number; I’ll text it to you.

      The last thing I needed was for him to get ahold of my number, yet I begrudgingly gave him each digit at a time as he keyed in my information with furrowed brows.

      It’s in the valley. It’s about half an hour drive from here. Take a cab or even Uber, but don’t you dare get behind the wheel. You’re beyond the legal alcohol limit.

      My breath gave it away, though I wasn’t even drunk. I was so sober I could count backward. Regardless, I wasn’t going to argue. My nerves wouldn’t dare allow me to drive. Calm was my exterior, but internally, I was all sorts of chaos deep inside.

      Disconnecting from his penetrating, dark eyes, I glanced around at the throng of people happily chatting away, unaware of my discomfort.

      Just as I was about to revert my gaze back to the unyielding man next to me, Parker came out, eyes scanning the outside crowd on the patio. The second he found me in an intimate conversation with River, his face contorted in blatant confusion.

      I smiled nervously at my curious and impatient boyfriend, hoping to ease some of the tension written all over him before I gestured that I would join him in a moment. Then, reverting my attention back to the man next to me, I gave him an impertinent look.

      I’ll be there at half past midnight or so.

      River’s eyes were glued on where Parker stood, looking deadly. Come alone, Cara, he vehemently gritted out. And don’t keep me waiting.

      Calling the shots now, was he? I would arrive on my own terms. I wasn’t going to do his bidding. Never again.

      I have to go, I reiterated before giving him a last deadpan look. I’ll arrive whenever I fancy. No one tells me what to do. And with those parting words, I sashayed away from him and back into Parker’s arms.

      Chapter Two

      Parker and I didn’t leave the party until midnight. And just as anticipated, he was curious as to why River Ellis sought me. I quickly told him that I previously met his acquaintance, but Parker wasn’t easily convinced. And the more he pressured me about the subject, the more reluctant I was in divulging. He felt threatened, maybe jealous even, and I understood his feelings. He had every right to it. Nevertheless, the right time to address it wasn’t now. Firstly, I had to close this chapter before making things more serious with Parker .

      He and I had barely begun dating a month ago. I admit I was still getting accustomed to dating again. Pressuring me wouldn’t do him any favors. Call it defensive mechanism, but I wasn’t going to immediately open up when he and I were still in the process of getting to know one another. My barriers were tightly secured, and my guard was almost impenetrable. If he wanted to be with me, Parker needed to understand that it would take time for me to come around. Hopefully, he was patient enough to wait for me.

      He wasn’t the first man I had dated after River, but apart from the rest of the lot, Parker actually was the closest man whom I felt I could have a real relationship with. So, I obviously wouldn’t want to lose him, but I wasn’t ready to reveal myself and the gargantuan baggage that followed me around, either.

      It took every ounce of persuasion to have Parker not join me inside my apartment when he dropped me off. His persistence to take it to the next level had been more apparent lately. Rushing into physical intimacy wasn’t something I planned. However, I believe that once tonight was through, I would be more pliable to the idea.

      Ridding my life of River wouldn’t be a hardship. We needed closure; that was all. His dating life was colorful like a kaleidoscope. He had all the ripe pickings to whomever he fancied, and I doubted he had any inclination in making that bright, sparkly life dulled by rekindling things with me. Therefore, I had nothing to worry about on that front … Or so I reassured myself with.

      Pressed for time, I hadn’t bothered changing when I requested for a ride to pick me up. Enclosed in my scarcely decorated one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica, I stood in the middle of the living room, terrified out of my wits. My heart ached as I tried to squash the memories that endangered to overrule my senses.

      No, I angrily hissed out. No tears, damn you.

      Letting out a sigh, I took a moment to gain my composure, reassuring myself with the truth—that this man had his multiple-layered array of cakes and he ate it with gusto, without a thought of repercussions or what his actions would eventually do to me. The only thing I could do was think positive thoughts. Once tonight was over, River would have no right to hound my conscience any longer.

      I, alone, can set the path to my future and my own happiness. River can’t take that away from me, too.

      On a mission to calm my nerves, I went into the kitchen and made myself a whiskey sour; reinforcements to amp my courage were always welcomed. The strong, sweet and sour drink would encourage my disheartened circumstance.

      The Uber driver dropped me off at the location River had texted me. After murmuring my thanks to the kind driver, I paused, catching my breath, as I stood outside the pavement, exhilarated and unsure of what to do next.

      His home was in a secluded and quiet neighborhood, a complete distinction from life in the city where everything and anything was correlated to tinsel town. It made me wonder why he chose to live away from it all. I supposed the Spanish villa with its abundant rows of vibrant hydrangeas would entice anyone to live here. It stung to realize that he chose my favorite flowers to adorn his beautiful home.

      Bastard, I muttered under my breath while my eyes heated at the very sight of them. If there was any doubt, rest assured, I loathed every ounce of the man.

      For so long, I had rehearsed this scenario in my mind, but it never quite played out this way—with me seeking him out on his own turf. My hands became clammy as my thoughts procured each god-awful scenario in my head. Tough he might be, but he had never laid a finger on me, not to hurt me.

      I recalled those dark, penetrating eyes flaying my soul, accusing. He would demand answers, and give them, I shall … even if rehashing the past threatened to undo the very fine stitching I had sewn in my once fragile, shattered heart.

      Treading onto the massively flattened stone pathway leading toward the entrance to his home, I then hastily pressed the doorbell before I convinced myself to walk away and wish him hell-bound.

      Cara, he breathlessly greeted upon opening the door.

      Dressed in black drawstring linen pants and the same colored muscle shirt, he was perfectly equipped for a fun night of torture. His hair was wet, freshly out of shower, smelling clean, overpowering my senses with his scented skin, seizing my inhibitions for a moment. It was the very same cologne I had gifted him when he had turned sixteen. He hadn’t worn anything else since, apparently. Or maybe he was using every weapon at his disposal, I spitefully considered. After all, lust was a powerful tool to make one at an advantage. And the asshat knew what to use against me. Well, he could think again. His sexual prowess be damned.

      It was a brilliant idea that I didn’t change into something drab and remained in the same garment I had donned earlier. The tiny black dress perfectly matched his shameless intent. I knew him well enough to know that he intended to seduce me; play me for a lovesick fool. No more.

      He hadn’t changed; still beyond predictable. While I, on the other hand, this new Cara, would give him a run for his money. If I played my cards right, I could very well walk out of here unscathed.

      Come on in. He gestured, stepping aside to let me in, probing eyes trained on me.

      Not meeting his inquisitive gaze, I held my breath, bracing myself as I crossed the threshold.

      Upon closing the door behind me, his blatant gawking became too much to bear.

      Stop staring at me like that! I fumed, striking him with a venomous glare. I could very well slap him, but I didn’t want him to realize that he was breaking through to me. He was already unbearable, and we had just begun. What the hell!

      I haven’t seen you in years; what do you expect me to do, Cara? Kiss you, perhaps? River asked as he tauntingly arched his brow at me. Before I could quip a retort, he broke into a smile. It’s good to know that you’re still all fire, petal. I’ve always admired that about you.

      Petal. The cheek!

      Don’t you dare call me that! I’m not your petal. I’m not your anything. Not for a long time. And never again.

      Insulted, River took a few steps and stood at full-height, forbidding, domineering with his trained eyes on me like a hawk to its prey. You’re going to make this hard, aren’t you? You know just how I like it, Cara. He was measuring how far he could goad me, but I wasn’t going to cave to his wretched tactics.

      His words lingered, making me shudder at the thought of him taking me, right here, up against the wall, as he gripped my hips to meet his eager thrusts. It was how he took me the last time I saw him, silencing my tears with his kisses and believing that sex would cure the hollowness in my heart. It was a monumental moment because it was then that I had realized that sex wasn’t enough anymore. It was, when I had quietly said my good-bye, unbeknownst to him.

      You tremble. I haven’t even begun, he murmured, eyes longingly dropping to my lips, lingering, contemplating.

      I could feel the heat permeating from him. It was pulling me, pulling us like a magnet.

      These lips kissed another man tonight. Something broke inside me when I saw that. There was undeniable sadness in his tone. Did you know that the broken shards of a heart could still shatter even more into a tiny million pieces? Mine did after watching you with him. It drove me insane. I didn’t know jealousy until I saw you with another man.

      There was such conviction in his tone that I almost believed him. Almost.

      How long was he there spying on me before he finally made himself known?

      You pretend like you’ve been living a life of a saint. It took you a week after seeing me that last time to resume seeing Hailey Mavis again, and yet you speak of heartbreak? Don’t think me a fool, River. Give me some credit. I was in love, not stupid. Was there a difference? My stupid mind retorted. I doubted it.

      It was all contracted, just a pretend, as I have elaborated and explained to you before. Nothing happened with her. Well, not back then, anyway, he reasoned with the same lies he had fed me until I couldn’t take it and vomited all of his deceit.

      Contracted, probably. But there was something more. I knew it. My gut sensed it, and it had never failed me before. Something had been developing between them, and even if it weren’t physical, I knew enough that he had some sort of attachment to her. My instincts hadn’t been very far off, and in the end, he had proved me right.

      I’m sure it didn’t take you long to remedy that problem. A lump of bile rose in the back of my throat. The thought of them together, to this day, still made me sick to my stomach. "My heart was never in question. It remained with you. It remains with you, he vehemently swore. Nothing’s changed for me, Cara."

      No. I indignantly shook my head in repulsion. He was just saying the right things so he could trap me back into his mangled ugly web of lies.

      All my life, people had let me down time and time again. It was a mistake to trust him and believe he was any different from the people who had abandoned and left me because I wasn’t good enough to be loved. My mother took her own life because she couldn’t stand the sight of me. My father had up and left the country when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. My relatives thought I was an inconvenience, so they had handed me over to social services without a second thought.

      It took me forever to give my heart to him, and in the end, what did he do? He proved that he was just like them—rotten to the core.

      Hiding my damaged heart and the painful echoes from a lifetime of neglect that I had harbored ever since childhood, I blankly stared at the man whom I once thought the world of. Do you honestly think that’ll change things, River? I hatefully spat at him. Fully ensconced in loathing and wrath, I longed to hurt him further, but violence would simply worsen things. I’ve moved on. I’m over your brooding, self-centered playboy persona. Above all, you taught me that there are far better options out there.

      A guttural sound vibrated off him. Oh, so Parker Haynes is better than me, is that it? He began to move, slowly circling me, commanding, menacing. How long have you even known this guy? A few weeks? Months? We both know, Cara, that no man can love you the way I do.

      Arrogant, overbearing fucker. I wasn’t going to buy into his intimidating tactics.

      Halting his tracks, we stood side by side, a breadth away from touching. I could feel his hot breath teasing the skin on my neck, but I determinedly gazed ahead, eyes penetrating, seeing nothing but him.

      Does he even know you’re with me? His low voice was measured, almost seductive.

      Did he really think he had some importance in my life? Just because he had reached stardom, I was far from star struck. On the contrary, his name hadn’t crossed my lips again until tonight.

      Why should he know about you, River? As far as everyone I know is concerned, you’re nothing but a stranger to me. And that was how he should remain. A phantom from my past.

      My response made him ground his teeth, trying his damnedest to contain his fury. Is that what I am to you now, Cara? He leaned closer, taking a whiff of my scent and making me hyperaware of his proximity. A stranger?

      You were my world … but I died the moment you betrayed me. It doesn’t matter. I had mourned him as though he truly had died. For a year, I struggled to get it together. And the moment I did, I made a vow never to look back. Tonight was an exception, yet it wasn’t an excuse to let him lull me into stupidity.

      Firmly cupping my chin, he made me look at him. The second our eyes clashed, I immediately felt bereft, beyond troubled when I saw the evident pain that was unguardedly expressed in his dark, mesmerizing eyes.

      It matters to me. It matters a whole lot.

      Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I licked my lips as tremors ran over me. What do you want from me, River?

      Searching my depths, his lips parted while his eyes flickered back and forth, probing for some certainty, inching closer to me, to my heart. You. Just you, again and again until my last breath.

      I was immediately transported to a time when those words of promise whispered out of my own lips before I gave myself to him for the first time at the age of seventeen.

      Numb from the immense wave of sadness, I felt the back of my eyes begin to sting, threatening to form tears. We’re done. We’ve been done. Let’s end this amicably. Stop bringing up the old times; it’s all in the past.

      His hold of my chin tightened, face inching closer until his nose almost grazed mine. Is it, he softly spoke against my lips slightly, brushing it with his, ever really over?

      If River dared kiss me, my knees would harshly meet his golden twin nuggets. I would injure it until he was black and blue.

      Yes, it’s really fucking over, in case the part where I shut you out of my life for the past two years wasn’t clear enough for you, River. Spare me the nostalgia. I find it nauseating. Stop being hell-bent on trying something with me because it’s OVER. Nothing you say or do will ever change it. I need you to quit it because I came here for closure and to have the good-bye that we never had. You just have to stop—

      I’m still in love with you; is that so hard understand? he violently declared, eyes sparking fire, charging the air between us with tension that was almost suffocating. I love you, Cara, he stated again. And again.

      I sort of laughed at his face with a bubbling hysteria threatening to break free. That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. Scoffing, I peered at him in disbelief. You fucked your way around when you left. How can you claim to love me when you’ve bed hopped from bimbos to bombshells? Though I had cut him out of my life, a sickening, sadistic side of me managed to follow every woman he had dated and been linked to since.

      "You broke up with me. You left without a word, without even a warning. I was devastated when you walked away. I didn’t see it coming … The women who came after that, I guess, was my way of coping."

      He had the gall. What a poor excuse for whoring around. If he had ever loved me as much as he claimed, he would have figured out a way to fight for me. Instead, he chose to console his penis.

      I’m sure it was, I bitterly derided.

      Admit it, Cara; isn’t that exactly the same thing with what you’re doing with Parker Haynes? he chided, like we were now even.

      I wanted to gouge his eyes out.

      How dare you! Parker’s not like you. I made sure of that before giving in to him.

      From what I gathered, your relationship has barely started. And basing from what I know of you in the past, it’ll take another year for you to give in, Cara … Or am I mistaken on that perception, too?

      This was an opportunity for me to prove just how much I wanted him to continue on the path he has been on for months on end, without me in it. "I am with him. And no, Parker didn’t need to wait a year to have me, because he’s everything that I’ve ever wanted." It was a harmless white lie. River didn’t have to know every aspect of my relationship with Parker. It was none of his business.

      River thought otherwise.

      Horror, agony, mixed with disbelief crossed his befallen face. He looked as though I had physically injured him. And when my gaze fell, I saw his hand shake. I wasn’t sure if that was from anger or shock, but in all the years I had known him, I hadn’t seen him this shaken.

      Had you not run away, we’d be married today. We said two years, remember? A faint smile formed on his lips before he bore those saddened eyes on me again. His eyes misted as he longingly searched my face. All those promises … The vow you gave to me … he whispered. I have to hear it, Cara. I have to see it come out of your lips. You have to tell me you don’t love me anymore.

      That was supposed to be today? What luck. With steel determination, I spoke the words he demanded of me. I’m not in love with you, River.

      Our eyes met. Green meeting his dark, impenetrable depths. Time stood still, absorbing each other, eyes mating, challenging.

      I don’t believe you, he stated with certainty.

      Sooner or later, he would realize that I meant each word.

      I wouldn’t have moved on if I did. You know me better than anyone. There was no one in this world who knew me inside and out.

      We were best friends before we became lovers. Or is our friendship unsalvageable as well?

      His question took me aback.

      Friendship? Aghast, I wasn’t sure if he was serious. Why would you want that?

      Because you’re the only family I have.

      We had once promised that we would always have each other. No matter what happened in the future, we were each other’s emergency person. I understood that our attachment had run deep, but for him to ask such a question after the tumultuous relationship we had, I wasn’t sure how to respond. Obviously, I hadn’t expected this.

      When you’re ready, I guess. I don’t want to pressure you right now.

      He wanted to be friends? That entailed letting him in my life again. Too much had happened. The water was well under the bridge for me, but not for him.

      I’m sorry for everything, Cara. I never meant to hurt you while seeking out my dream. Someday, I hope you can forgive me. River took a step back. I’m sorry, but I need a moment.

      Dumbstruck, I barely nodded while watching him walk away in a mad rush. Where did he go? Should I take my leave since our conversation wasn’t going anywhere?

      Amidst contemplation, my curiosity got the best of me. There was no denying that this was out of my depth. He offered to salvage our friendship, but how did one rebuild that? It was like a coin; there were two sides, but it remained one. He was suggesting the impossible, yet for some reason, I wasn’t obliged to take my leave and walk away just yet.

      The only source of light came from somewhere down the hallway. However, I’d had enough illumination to grasp my surroundings. His house had all the makings of warmth and security a true home should have. Earth tones, a lot of wood adorned with just the right balance of masculinity without overpowering it.

      The heel of my stilettos echoed in my wake as I trailed farther into his home. From the living room, the doors opened toward the gardens. It was vast with the mountains in the back looming in the dark. To the left, there was a veranda with a fire pit blazing brightly. There he stood, deep in thought, staring blankly into its flames with a lit cigarette between finger and thumb.

      So, he smoked these days. Huh. What else was new with him?

      Watching his dark form, I felt myself mesmerized, enthralled at this beautiful man with the growing stubble shadowing his chiseled jaw. From this vantage, he looked dangerous, and God help me, he was sexier than any man had the right to be.

      Tight coils sprung from my abdomen, evident stirrings of arousal. In this regard, my attraction to him remained, unfailing and gravely more potent than I had ever felt before.

      Compelled, I slowly made my way toward him, unable to tear my eyes away from the sight of him.

      I didn’t think you lived this far out … knowing how busy you are these days.

      River quickly glanced at me before looking back into the distance. I have a place in Beverly Hills, but this is home; my quiet getaway from the craziness.

      You have a beautiful home. You’ve really made it happen. Embroiled with the past, a small shadow of a smile crossed my lips. Yes, I couldn’t forgive him, but I couldn’t deny how proud I was of him, either. He achieved much in the span of a few years.

      It was my first purchase after getting that first big paycheck.

      You worked hard. You deserve to have it all, I found myself saying before our gazes met and time stood still. My heart found its beat, slowly thrumming with life.

      Does he treat you well? he murmured, breaking the momentary spell we were trapped in.

      Dazed, I frowned. He was asking about Parker, wasn’t he?

      I couldn’t do this. I should go and call it a night.

      Licking my lips, I tightly held my red leather clutch. It’s getting late, I guess I’ll see you around, River Ellis.

      His eyes bore into mine, challenging me, though I wasn’t sure with what.

      I’d had enough.

      I turned my back on him, withdrawing as I retraced my steps through the house. Pulling my phone out, I sought the app to request a ride back to my place in Santa Monica. Once finished, I slid it back inside my clutch.

      Taking a deep nervous breath, I found myself in his kitchen. Then something struck me.

      I froze while all air left my body. Horrified, I was paralyzed as my eyes scanned the area, landing on framed pictures of me, of us, placed in random nooks around the kitchen. Had he just planted this? If he had, what a heartless, cruel thing to do. What was he playing at?

      Just as I was about to rush outside to demand answers, I felt his presence behind me.

      Why! I accusingly yelled at his face.

      This house was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was supposed to be our home, but you had already left. Mattie said she didn’t know where you went. Of course I didn’t believe her. Mattie was the closest thing we had to a parent, and you were close to her. She wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone. I would’ve come for you had I known where you were. For days, weeks, I waited to hear … but nothing. You left me with nothing.

      I didn’t want to be found. And I wanted to resurface once my sanity was restored, my heart glued back from the broken pieces.

      In a few strides, he closed the gap between us. We often argued and fought, but never in a million years did I consider cutting you off like that, Cara, he growled with animalistic look, seeming to restrain himself from wanting to shake me senseless. Why did you do it?

      "Because I couldn’t take how you were treating me, like some second-class doormat, a secret doormat at that. That’s why! I spat back, matching his furor. After the first movie, The Viking Mercenary, became this monster success and you became this huge actor … the gossip and the need to hide our relationship because your management forbid you to make it known, I just couldn’t deal with it. The jealousy ate me. Week after week, I would read up online, where you went, what you did, who you did it with. The truth and the lies, they all became my real."

      But I told you none of them were true! You knew how much I fucking loved you. God, I was going to marry you, Cara. How could you be so cutthroat and heartless to someone you pledged your heart to?

      Because it was the only weapon I had, and if I didn’t use it, he would have found a way to leave me sooner or later to the glamorous women surrounding him.

      I’m sorry for leaving. Quite honestly, I didn’t think it would affect you that much.

      At that point, after he had missed my birthday and called to greet me a day after, I knew it was only a matter of time before he would have dispensed of me. I did us both a favor by doing it.

      You didn’t think? It’s very selfish of you to believe that I didn’t care. You knew how hard it’ll be, and you promised you’d stick by me through thick and thin, remember?

      As much as I hated showing weakness, my eyes started to water as I struggled to answer him. It took a minute or so until I snapped out of my poignant trance before I opened my clutch and pulled out the promise ring he had given me before he had left to chase his dream. My heart ached at the very sight of it. I had almost forgotten about it..

      I also came here to give this back.

      River sneered, appearing offended, disgust sparkling in his eyes. It seems you don’t want anything to do with me. Why don’t you just throw it away? You’re pretty good at that.

      Why was he so reluctant to just let it go? So much had happened, and hurling insults would only make things more difficult between us.

      What did I ever do to you to hurt me this way, Cara? His voice cracked amidst all his anger, his pain emerging. For a moment, it gave me a glimpse of him, heartbroken and lost, without an answer after I had disappeared.

      He was breaking me down, directing questions as though he had some glimmer of hope that something could be recovered between us. What little hope he had garnered, I would effectively banish.

      River … I’m sorry. I had to choose me this time. No man would ever put me on my knees again like some desperate beggar dying for some of his crumbs.

      He sensed my reluctance. Gradually advancing toward me, he halted his steps before cupping my face with his large, roughened hands. I’ll forgive and forget everything if you come back to me right now, Cara. We have everything we’ve ever wanted. We’ve accomplished so much. We’re older now and wiser. We can start over again. It’ll be better this time around. I can afford whatever your heart desires. You don’t even have to work if you don’t want to. Just say the word, and I’m yours.

      Words were easy to say. Actions, on another hand, were another thing. Time had proven that he wasn’t one to always keep his promises, and as much as I loved him once, I wasn’t about to put myself on a platter again. Why would I put myself through that again? He should have protected what we had in the beginning. This wouldn’t have happened otherwise. There was so much at stake this time, and I couldn’t gamble on that, even if he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

      He had too much power over me. It was terrifying to even consider submitting to those powerfully unparalleled emotions again. Without him, I was in control of my life, my destiny. Gone was the shattered, defenseless girl. I was a woman made of sterner stuff, one who couldn’t be easily dissuaded with empty promises any longer.

      I can’t do that, River, I stated, unwavering. You’ve lost me forever.

      He was horrified, dazed, and flummoxed all at once. Bereft and rendered speechless, our gazes battled, torn between love, hate, and agony. And just when I thought we had finally reached the point of no return, the damning man dipped his head to meet my lips, kissing me senseless. Urgently. Lasciviously.

      I was a riot of emotions, completely taken aback by his hungered lips. My thoughts were simultaneously a jumble and as serene as a placid river.

      His carnal intentions left me shaken. So much so that I found myself responding. It was like my lips belonged to him, to command and savor. I had forgotten how it felt to be with him, to be in his arms, to be at his mercy. Him. Just River.

      My nails dug into his chest through his shirt, feeling unbidden and out of my depth. Fevered for his touch, I felt a rush of intoxicated yearning, quite unhinged, like a myriad made by his touch. His masculine scent and the very feel of him possessed me—my very soul. River was my home sweet hell, and it seemed he was capable of placing me where he deemed I belonged, with him, beautifully creating the fires of sins that only he and I could compose. A gluttony we never knew how to relinquish nor diminish. Fire and ice, clashing and mending. A cacophony of our own written symphony.

      Chapter Three

      Ifelt like I was being transported back to the days when my body and mind weren’t mine to command. Like a string being pulled at whatever direction he so desired. I was his as River took full control, devouring my lips, my body .

      The spell was too potent to dispel its influence on me. The moment those masculine hands travelled about my body, feeling and cupping my breasts as he lodged one of his thighs between my legs, I knew whatever convictions I had, had all but disappeared.

      Consumed by unrivaled hunger, carnal passion took precedence, and I was at his mercy. Unequivocally.

      I forgot what your touch feels like. You feel fucking amazing, I sighed, out of my mind as I gasped for air, breaking our kiss while his lips trailed down my neck, leaving specks of fiery need, branding my skin as he went further down into my nether region.

      It’ll be my pleasure to remind you, Cara. He spoke just above my parted thighs before breathing me in with a guttural sound that almost unhinged me.

      Before I could make another sound, he softly bit the soft spot atop my moistened pussy.

      What was he waiting for? I frustratingly thought as I gazed down with such fevered need it frightened me.

      River? I blinked at him.

      He slowly got to his full height, expressive eyes meeting my own. If I take you, you’ll be mine again, he said softly before leaving a chaste kiss on my lips. Just say the word. I need to hear you say it, my love.

      Sucker punched. That’s what it felt like. River just brought me down to earth in the harshest way possible. How could I let myself down so humiliatingly?

      Closing my eyes, big, hot tears sprung behind my lids. It was a moment of madness; what else could one call it? To be sure, it was lust. Nothing more. Dressing it for love would be a mistake, and I surely wasn’t going to do that.

      I can’t. I won’t. That kiss meant nothing. Nothing at all.

      I figured as much. Although, it was worth a shot. I hope you can forgive me for trying, he said through a saddened smile that seemed to tear into the very core of my being.

      It was the opposite of what I had expected of him. I hadn’t imagined he would beg or anything, but for him to not fight harder wasn’t want I had anticipated.

      Distracted, he stepped back and scanned the room. Let’s get you home, shall we? he asked.

      Nodding in response, I meekly gazed at him through my lashes. My mind seemed hell-bent on making a statement, yet my body yearned for his touch, and the memory of how he took my body made me throb and ache for more. Alas, the man had withdrawn from my reach.

      Once he retrieved his keys, he barely glanced at me as he silently guided me toward his garage. He had a black, matted-out Range with matching all-black interiors, perfectly matching the owner’s mood, no less.

      Where’s your place? he asked after the engine roared to life. His eyes were directed on the dashboard as though he would rather not look at me.

      "It’s on Santa

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