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    Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders
    Ebook96 pages1 hour

    Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders

    By Bathroom Readers' Institute

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    About this ebook

    The famouser they are, the funnier they fall!

    Oops, they did it again. Whether it’s Tom Cruise going berserk on Oprah’s couch, Taylor Swift ending a relationship just so she can write a song, or Jennifer Lawrence falling at the Oscars—twice, when celebrities get involved, goofs are bound to happen. And those goofs take center stage in Showbiz Blunders, which includes several BRI classics along with some all-new hijinks from today’s (and yesterday’s) dimmest stars. So get ready to feel superior to folks who make way too much money as you read about…

     

    • Kooky stars: Shia LaBeouf apologizes for plagiarism via plagiarized statements and Tara Reid ponders where whale sharks come from

    • How to get fired from your own TV show
    • Hollywood’s biggest bombs: Jack and Jill, From Justin to Kelly, Battlefield Earth, and more
    • John Wayne as Genghis Kahn, possibly the most questionable casting decision ever
    • The day Johnny Cash accidentally burned down a forest
    • The fake reality of reality television
    • How the movie The Beach destroyed the beach it was filmed on
    • Eye-rolling movie bloopers—like digital watches in the Edwardian era

    • And the award goes to…oops!

    And much, much more!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPortable Press
    Release dateJul 15, 2015
    ISBN9781626862463
    Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders
    Author

    Bathroom Readers' Institute

    The Bathroom Readers' Institute is a tight-knit group of loyal and skilled writers, researchers, and editors who have been working as a team for years. The BRI understands the habits of a very special market—Throne Sitters—and devotes itself to providing amazing facts and conversation pieces.

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      Book preview

      Uncle John's Facts to Go Show Biz Blunders - Bathroom Readers' Institute

      COME ON DOWN!

      Let’s begin with deep thoughts from the highbrow world of television game shows.

      Jack Barry: What do you want to be when you grow up?

      Kid: A game show host.

      Barry: Oh, you mean like me?

      Kid: No, like Bob Barker.

      —Joker Joker Joker

      It’s not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I’m in a bad mood?

      —Vanna White

      Contestant: I’d like to buy a vowel, Regis.

      Regis Philbin: I think you mean lifeline.

      Contestant: Yeah, that.

      —Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

      Anne Robinson: Rob, do you still think I’m sexy?

      Rob Schneider: Yes, I do.

      Anne Robinson: Good, because I still think you’re stupid.

      —The Weakest Link

      Lisa, from where I’m standing, you have some nice prizes.

      —Ken Ober, Remote Control

      Richard Dawson: Name a fruit that begins with A.

      Contestant: Orange.

      —Family Feud

      Richard Dawson: Name the first article of clothing that you take off when you get home from work.

      Female Contestant: My underwear.

      Richard Dawson: Next question, what time do you get off work?

      —Family Feud

      I’d like to buy an owl.

      —Contestant on Wheel of Fortune

      A contestant on Wheel of Fortune had gotten all of the letters but one in the following puzzle:

      _T TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

      Contestant: I’d like to solve.

      Pat Sajak: This shouldn’t be too hard. Go ahead.

      Contestant: E.T. takes one to know one.

      Sajak: Uhh…really?

      Hugh Hefner and Bing Crosby had ancestors on the Mayflower.

      KOOKY STARS

      Celebrities say—and do—the weirdest things.

      SWIFT RETRIBUTION

      Aside from her Grammy-winning music, Taylor Swift is best known for having flings with famous guys (as Teen.com puts it, She’s practically dated all of young Hollywood) and then writing songs about it. Swift even told Rolling Stone, The only love worth being in is the love worth singing about. That sentiment is clear in her third and fourth albums, Speak Now (2010) and Red (2012), both of which contain a slew of celebrity-breakup songs. On Speak Now, she croons about her relationships with singers Joe Jonas, John Mayer, and Adam Young, as well as actor Taylor Lautner. There’s also a revenge song possibly aimed at the actress who became Joe Jonas’s new girlfriend. Red has tracks about Swift’s ex-boyfriends Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, and Conor Kennedy. Yet in 2013, the starlet told Vanity Fair, Since 2010 I have dated exactly two people. Was it poor math skills, or a pointed jab at those she deemed not worthy to count? You be the judge.

      TRANSFUSION CONFUSION

      Legend has it that Keith Richards once had his blood replaced with clean blood at a Swiss clinic to beat an addiction to heroin. Richards has admitted to heroin addiction and has made several attempts to break it over the years. In 1973, some accounts say, he did receive some sort of dialysis-type treatment to filter his blood, but the idea of getting a blood change to treat an addiction isn’t medically possible. So how’d the rumor spread? Richards admits he started it himself: Someone asked me how I cleaned up, so I told them I went to Switzerland and had my blood completely changed. I was just fooling around. I opened my jacket and said, ‘How do you like my blood change?’ That’s all it was, a joke. I was (bleep)ing sick of answering that question. So I gave them a story.

      A DEAD SLEEP

      Don’t you just love hearing about phobias of the rich and famous? Taphophobia, the fear of being buried alive, has plagued many luminaries, including writer Edgar Allen Poe, composer Frédéric-François Chopin, president George Washington, and author Hans Christian Andersen. Andersen, in fact, was so fearful that he made a sign that he set at the side of his bed when he retired for the night. The sign said he only looked dead.

      THE JUMP SEEN ’ROUND THE WORLD

      Tom Cruise’s odd behavior during his interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005 earned the #2 spot on the show’s top-25 best moments. Giddy with joy over his new love for Katie Holmes, he repeatedly grabbed Oprah Winfrey’s hands and shook her body, and also got down on one knee, punched the floor, and jumped on her couch—twice. Many called it a celebrity meltdown. Years later, VH1 recapped the event and declared, Never again would he be dreamboat Tom Cruise, universally beloved celebrity. He…will remain the overly intense guy who either must be hiding something or has lost the ability to act like a regular person. Winfrey defended him, saying, I thought it was an expression of delightful exuberance and love that any woman…would be thrilled to have her man jump on a sofa in love with her. A few weeks after the Oprah episode, Cruise and Holmes announced their engagement; they divorced in 2012.

      HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

      In his book about how people deal with their loved ones getting cancer, Hugh Grant recounted his relationship with his dying mother. Like a good son, he stayed by her side during her final days, but then…I got bored and went back to tormenting her. My personal favorite being secretly activating her hospital bed so that the head and legs both lifted to put her in an amusing jack-knife position. I blow-dried her hair on the day before she died, which was frankly not the success I had hoped for, and which may—I now concede—have finished her off.

      Iron Butterfly was scheduled to play at Woodstock…but didn’t, because they got stuck at

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