Renegade Pinky: Poems and Prose
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About this ebook
With Renegade Pinky, author Andy Weatherwax takes us on an honest and intimate journey from the pain and isolation that accompanied his diagnosis with early onset Parkinsons disease to the profound understanding of his illness as a gift. While his poems are informed by the fear and suffering he experiences as the disease progresses they are laced with wit and joy as he explores the new quirks in his life. This collection of poetry presents his unique insights into the disease and how it affects him.
Through this heartfelt collection, Weatherwax offers a keen understanding of the challenges he faces each day with humor and more than a little irony.
* * *The individual poems in Renegade Pinky are extraordinary. As a collection, the impact is breathtaking. These poems are informed by pain, uncertainty and loss; but even as we are brought to profound intimacy with these things, we as well accompany a poet possessing great good humor, an ironic take on life and exquisite sensitivity to the revelations of nature, music, love and everyday realities. I dare you to read these poems and not be changed.
Alexandrina Sergio, author of My Daughter is a Drummer in a Rock n Roll Band
Andy Weatherwax
Andy Weatherwax is a musician, sculptor, and poet who most recently made his living as a digital marketing consultant. He retired shortly after undergoing deep brain stimulation surgery to address the symptoms of early onset Parkinson’s disease. Andy lives in the moment with his wife Josa, son Tyler, and their cats in East Hampton, Connecticut.
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Renegade Pinky - Andy Weatherwax
Copyright © 2012 by Andy Weatherwax.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-5116-5 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4759-5118-9 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4759-5117-2 (ebk)
iUniverse rev. date: 11/28/2012
This book is dedicated to Josefina and Tyler
black.jpgIn Memoriam
Steve Sinbad
Sinibaldi
and
Peter Saint Onge
Contents
FOREWORD
PART 1: POSSESSION
LOST AND FOUND
POSSESSIVE
RENEGADE PINKY
THE MASK
THANKSGIVING SNOW
WHAT GOOD ARE THESE
OLD MAN
MIND, BODY, AND ME
INDELIBLE REMINDERS
PART 2: WAITING
WAITING NOW
I NEVER REALIZED THE COMFORT A GUTTER COULD OFFER
AGROUND
DOES IT SHOW?
NO HOLIDAY
LONELINESS SITS
ANTICIPATING THE SUN
ANOTHER NIGHT
IF I DWELL ON IT
RAINING SEASON
THIS DAY GO BY
AND SO IT GOES
PART 3: DOSE TO DOSE
DOSE TO DOSE
RX MATH
RX MATH
INSURANCE COVERAGE
PROCEDURES AND PILLS
AUTHORIZATION
MEDICATION CALCULATION
DID ANYONE NOTICE?
THE NATURE OF A RELATIONSHIP
PART 4: SPARK OPTIMISTIC
THE GIFT
THREE WEEKS AND ANOTHER DAY
THERE ARE DAYS
MOST BEAUTIFULLY
PERFECTLY BLESSED
ILLNESS IS MY TEACHER
RELEASED
BRAVE, FEARFUL, FOOL
NEVER TO BE UNDONE
NO HORSESHOE REQUIRED
SPARK OPTIMISTIC
PART 5: INDEED
SORRY BUNCH
WELCOME TO THE NFL
INDEED
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
HIS NUMBER
SUNDAY MORNING IN THE VILLAGE
PRAGMATICS
PART 6: THORNS
THE JOURNEY
FEAR RIDES THE SUBWAY
VOWS
JUDGMENT
TO BE FREE
THESE DAYS, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT . . .
THE OCEAN IS MY TEACHER
EASING INTO TRAFFIC
ONLY ONE EXCEPTION
ALMOST NIRVANA
MISFORTUNE AND HEARTACHE
PART 7: BLOSSOMS
SAILING WITH STRAVINSKY
ME AND WALTER AND MY ’74 HORNET
MILES DAVIS KNOCKS BUILDINGS OVER
RED SAILING CAP
FOR YOU, I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING
CROW
BLOSSOM
THIS THOUGHT
SOMETIMES
TITLE OF THIS POEM
AFTERWORD
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE MICHAEL J. FOX FOUNDATION
COVER ART AND CHAPTER ILLUSTRATIONS
CHAPTER QUOTATIONS
FOREWORD
Michael Burgan
A friend recently said I have a man-crush on Andy Weatherwax. I was taken aback at first, even a little defensive. Then I thought about it: Well, why not? If a guy’s gotta have a man-crush, there are worse targets.
I tried to give the friend some context to understand how this crush came about. Andy and I have known each other since sixth grade. We spent countless hours together in a high school rock band. When most of our friends were away at college, we stayed, mostly, in our hometown and constantly hung out seeing movies, listening to music, talking. We spent nine weeks side by side backpacking through Europe. We have seen each other’s best and worst moments and remained friends through it all.
But more telling than the we is the he: Andy has done amazing things. Or rather, he is amazing things—things I envy. A talented musician. A self-taught Internet marketing whiz respected in his field. A skilled woodworker. An accomplished sailor. A rock sculptor and self-published author of a book documenting that work. And, as this collection of poems you’re holding shows, a writer with remarkably intelligent and honest insights into himself and poignant and wry observations of the world.
What’s not to crush about?
Renegade Pinky demonstrates, over and over again, what I now most respect about Andy. He is a man courageously confronting Parkinson’s disease. I’ve become more familiar with Parkinson’s as Andy and his loved ones have tried to grapple with its effects. I have seen the physical deterioration, with the spasms and tightening muscles and fatigue. I’ve seen less of the emotional metamorphosis, the mood swings that are a combination of the drugs and the changes in the brain chemistry the illness brings. But I have