Nothing Is Lost in the Spirit

All Rights Reserved © 2001 by Cynthia Graham-Ward

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Authors Choice Press

an imprint of iUniverse, Inc.

For information address:

iUniverse

2021 Pine Lake Road, Suite 100

Lincoln, NE 68512

www.iuniverse.com

ISBN: 0-595-18301-8

ISBN: 978-1-4759-0184-9 (ebook)

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Loneliness

Friendship Alert

Patience

But I want My Way

WhenYou Give

We Did Not Choose Our Families

Are We Still Little Girls?

Spending Time with the Elders

Every Situation Does Have a Spiritual Side

Food For Thought For The Reader

Dedication

I would like to thank the Creator Almighty for surrounding my life, And My ancestors whose shoulders I stand on daily. And To the Queen of Queens of my life, My mothers—The winds beneath my wings—My mother, the Late R. Pearl Graham And My Grandmother, the Late Mattie Alston

Acknowledgments

Without apologies for my lengthy acknowledgements, I begin with my daughter, Cyrenthia—Thank you for your patience and believing in this project.

To the Graham family—Thank you for stepping back to allow me to do the things that were important to me and many thanks for your support.

To my sister Juanita Graham—Look ahead to the Creator’s golden path that awaits you.

Special Acknowledgments—To My nephew Ev’ Ready (Shelby Antonio Graham). You transcended unto our ancestors before this project was in print. I know you have nurtured this project from above. I’ll love you forever. Thanks for pushing me to keep writing.

Winifred Rogers (Winnie)—My dear sister friend; you left this world too soon. Rest in Peace. You’ve brought such joy into to my life. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

To my cousin Cathy Johnson—Your soft, kind and wonderful spirit makes you the beautiful person that you are. Thanks for all of your help with my writing projects. You have always been very supportive not only to me, but the family unconditionally.

To Willa Rawlins—Thank you for being a wonderful second mother, grandmother, and dear friend. You have been such an inspiration in my life. You’ve always believed in me. You are surely a true modeled elder.

To my nephews and nieces—Aaron Smith, Gregory Smith, Patrice

Nixon and Latia Nixon Keep your hands in the Creator’s hands and keep pressing forward.

To Pat and James Benton—I appreciate everything you’ve done for my daughter. Thank you for standing in as second parents to her, nurturing her, guiding her in a loving way that has helped her to grow into a nice young lady. With your help, she has come from a strong African Village.

To Donna Evans, Cindy (Wasia) Pettiway-Jackson, Paulette Johnson, Dr. L. Guarino, Candice Sang, Dawud Rasul, R. Majied, Pat Wrazz, Kathy Wilson, Rita Christopher, Robyn Dickey, William Hagans, Pat Andres, Jacqueline O’Bryant, Yvonne Alston, O. Merced, Nancy Mercardo, Toni Foskey, Rich Onque and Barbara Burroughs—I appreciate your encouragement, patience, love and support on this project.

To the (Wisdom Mothers) in my life—Claudine Cartwright, Ester Darling, Willa Mae Graham-Lawson, Helen Jones, Omi Saide Ali, Reatha Kendricks and Donna Newman—You have come on my path to nurture, guide and teach. Thank you for your honesty, and sharing your personal experiences with me so that I may stride with strength.

To Jeannette Graham, Kenyetta Mosley and Frankie Kelly; Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this project before the production stages.

Thank you—Herb Way Photography for my photograph.

Cindy Pettiway Jackson, the art work for the front jacket cover of this book is wonderful. Thank you for your hard work.

Paulette Johnson, your technical support has helped this project to come forward. Thank you for your ideas, humor and patience.

I would like to extend a special thank you to Ali A. Q. Derricotte for your input with your mother on the cover of this book. Good luck at Delaware State.

Tracy Thompson, Author of Black Coffee—Although we never physically met, thank you for your honesty and taking time to speak with me. Your encouragement has helped me to try this project again. I enjoyed reading your book and look forward to your future projects.

To friends co-workers and associates that uttered words of encouragement for this writing project—Thank you.

Many thanks to the iUniverse family for the enlightening experience while having this book published.

Prologue

Anima and Baset, friends for many years, consider themselves as sisters. Both women were raised in Northern New Jersey. However, before the girls reached high school, Anima’s parents moved to South Orange, a town not to far away. They managed to stay in contact with each other into their adulthood years. Now at ages forty one and forty two, the women always call each other to solve whatever problems arise, or they just merely talk about any subject that surfaces. Most times it’s done with humor.

Baset age forty two, is a financial controller at a large corporation. She is good at what she does, and the company not only trusts her, but relies on her because she gets the job done, and is a stickler for meeting deadlines.

Although she’s forty two, she maintained her youthful appearance. She’s five foot four inches tall and most times she wears business attire. At other times, depending on her mood, one might see her hips sway through the office hallway as her loosely fit African clothes imitates the movement of the ocean.

Her hair is thinly locked to the shoulders. Again, it depends on her mood; sometimes she wears her hair loose, other times she ties her hair back. Her leisure time is spent with her family. She’s married with three children, a girl age seven, as well as two sons, ages five and twenty five. Her sister friend, Anima, pops in her life on a regular basis.

Anima, age forty one, is an assistant to a CEO in a different corporation. She manages the human resource aspect of her company.

Although she likes her job, her goal is to open a chain of African boutique shops throughout the Metropolitan area.

Anima, who wears her hair in extended braids, is also married. She has one daughter, age seven, and a fifteen year old son. She’s five foot seven inches tall. Most times she’s quiet unless she’s around family members, or Baset, her close friend. Anima’s wardrobe is very versatile. Her closet is filled with African clothes, business suits, jeans and sneakers. As Anima reached for her telephone at one thirty in the morning, she figured it would be Baset, which it was. She yawned, as her friend gave her a command. Hello…Anima. Wake up! Define spirit. Anima, slightly irritated, rolled onto her side, and repositioned the telephone to her ear. Define what?

After Anima took a look at her clock, she felt she’d better come up with an answer for Baset if she wanted to get some rest. Anima felt it would take Baset to call her at wee hours of the morning with a question of that nature. I don’t know Bast. What do you think it means?

Once Anima had an over all stretch, she then appeared to be more interested in Baset’s question. Baset this is a hard question. She hesitated, and then asked, Remember that old saying? Nothing is lost in the spirit? Wonder what that means? Anima answered, don’t know. Baset continued to think as she searched for an answer.

Uhm.let’s see. Spirit. Spirit. Maybe ghost, super natural, angels, individual, a soul of some sort, or maybe a person. Oh! Oh! I got it! It really means matter that you can’t see or something. Okay good night! Baset thought Anima really was going to hang up on her. Wait Anima! Don’t hang up. Both women giggled.

Baset explained that she’d been thinking about reasons why people really existed, which led her to think of different situations that occurred in life. Then she mentioned that she was tired of people not getting along with others. Anima interrupted her to ask exactly what she’d meant. Baset used her work place as an example.

There’s a young woman that worked in the public relations’ department in the same building where I work, but it’s a different company. She works for a Caucasian male and female as well as an African American woman. She told me terrible stories of how her office operated on a daily basis. One incident that Bast mentioned, really struck a nerve in Anima. As Baset told it, when the male asked this woman to hand him something, he’d never say thank you. The African American employer constantly stood at her desk while chewing food, burped and never excused herself. The other woman, would call the office, while in the field, she’d hang up and never say thank you or good bye.

Anima interrupted, either humans have gone mad or maybe people are not communicating. Baset…did she ever speak to them about their rudeness? I asked her the same thing. She said she did, but the response to the never saying thank you was, ‘oh, I haven’t noticed.’ The response to the chewing and burping was, ‘do I really do that?’ with a chuckle. The response to the hanging up without courtesy was, ‘never noticed.’ But the ironic thing is, she said the people in the office with higher education didn’t associate or respect the other workers if they did not have their degree, or a management title.

What? Anima shook her head in disgust, and asked, does this lady have a degree? I think she’s finishing up her Bachelor’s degree now. Well hopefully as she climbs the ladder of success, she won’t forget to be kind to others. Good point Anima. Anima proceeded.

L A C K O F C O N S I D E R A T I O N is what some people problems are. You know what Baset? I had some things happen to me on a job once. I remember coming home from work one day feeling terrible because some women in the office did not like me. They used to stand over my desk and sneeze while the others laughed. I used to get so angry, but I didn’t show it. Then my thoughts were, no one can have your power unless you give it to them. Baset questioned, well how did you handle that particular situation?

"Maybe I didn’t handle it in the best way, but I