Ten Secrets to a Balanced Successful & Happy Life

10 SECRETS

TO A BALANCED SUCCESSFUL & HAPPY LIFE

Chandru Gidwani

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© 2012 by Chandru Gidwani. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/29/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8859-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-8057-5 (ebook)

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Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgements

Understanding Balance,

Success & Happiness

SECRET # 1

BUILD CHARACTER

SECRET # 2

DEVELOP A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE (PMA)

SECRET # 3

CREATE HARMONY IN HUMAN RELATIONS

SECRET # 4

LEAD

SECRET # 5

EXERCISE THE POWER TO CHOOSE

SECRET # 6

MASTER SELF-MANAGEMENT

SECRET # 7

MANAGE STRESS

SECRET # 8

PRACTICE THE LAW OF GIVING

SECRET # 9

CULTIVATE THE POWER OF YOUR

SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND

SECRET # 10

BELIEVE IN GOD—

THE POWER OF FAITH & PRAYER

PRACTICAL EXERCISES FOR

SELF-DEVELOPMENT

Self-Evaluation

Dedicated to

JAI AMBE MAA

Foreword

The success of my first book The Treasure Imperishable has prompted my venture with this book. Born to a broadminded Hindu family, my siblings and I were taught that however one addressed the Almighty—as God, Jesus Christ, Bhagwan, Satguru or Allah, it all meant the same. We were exposed to various religious philosophies and in our youth we attended Satsangs and discourses by Sadhu Vaswani and Dada Jashan Vaswani. We also attended religious gatherings of Sufi Sai Nasir Fakir, Meher Baba, Dr. Rochaldas, Dada Hari, Dada Tejumal and Dada Mulchand. Their message of the universal need for love and consideration at all levels of human relations, from individual to global concerns, transcends all religious and cultural boundaries. All these men are luminaries in their own right and in my opinion, nothing short of sainthood.

Thanks to my parents, I was also exposed to books by internationally acclaimed gurus of self-development. The works of authors like Norman Vincent Peale, who wrote numerous books on positive thinking, and Dale Carnegie, famous for his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, among countless others left an indelible impression on my tender mind.

This background, combined with my engineering degree and scientific bent of mind, and the exposure I have had to management training at institutes like the Bombay Productivity Council, National Institute for Training & Industrial Engineering, Central Labor Institute have helped me to view life from varied perspectives. My participation in Dr. Bharat Chandra’s Winners workshop and the RYB program helped me to re-charge my batteries, in preparation for the publication of this book which has been a mission.

Since self-development is a subject very close to my heart, I have studied books, articles and writings of a great number of philosophers and psychologists. I believe there is no limit to the amount one can improve the quality of one’s life. A thousand mile journey begins with a single step. Admission of ignorance is often a first step in our education. I have aimed to condense what I have learned and experienced in this ‘capsule’ of a book. The presentation of complex concepts in an easy to understand and concise manner has helped further my own understanding and I sincerely hope to it helps those who read this book.

Many who achieve an incredible degree of outward success struggle with an inner hunger for healthy relationships with people even in their own family. Success and happiness mean different things to different people. In order to try to understand their meaning in totality, I have included different perspectives on success and happiness so readers may arrive at their own personal definitions. Balance in life is integral to peak performance in all spheres. As such, the importance of creating, finding and maintaining balance cannot be underestimated. I have found that an attitude of acceptance contributes to a personal sense of balance and harmony, but cultivating peace of mind in today’s world of strife and struggle is challenging. The most basic objective of this book is to help its readers channel their energy to constructive personal growth to make their lives more meaningful. I must admit that I personally still struggle with some of what I have shared in this book, but the struggle is worthwhile and fulfilling. It gives meaning to my life and enables me to love, to serve and to try again.

Perhaps this captures the sentiment best:

We shall not cease from exploration,

And at the end of all our exploring,

Will be to arrive where we started,

And know the place for the first time . . .

-T. S. Elliot

I would like to dedicate this book to making a difference in people’s lives.

With friendly good wishes and a sincere God bless, I remain,

Yours cordially,

Chandru Gidwani

Acknowledgements

It is said that there are two ways of shedding light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects. As a mirror I have tried to reflect the light of over 60 candles—the well acclaimed authors of books on topics ranging from philosophy and religion, business and management to self-development.

Grateful acknowledgement is made to all the luminaries whose inspirational quotes have been used from works which will live on for hundreds of years to come. I seek pardon from the authors i have not been able to credit.

I wish to especially thank my parents Sh. Mulchand Gidwani & Smt. Savitri Gidwani who inculcated in us a strong value system as a proof of their firm belief that Character itself is a fortune. Also,

–   To my late brother Mahesh (Sonu) for putting me on the right track during my childhood days.

–   To my sister Kamal for her inputs to my collections from time to time.

–   To my wife Celine for her help in the 18 months research in preparation for the book.

–   To our son Avin, daughter-in-law Jinny and daughter Arina for their mature advice and invaluable suggestions in editing this manuscript for the book.

–   All friends who have contributed with their ideas, suggestions and articles and especially the BNC Network team.

– Father Joe, Father George and the editing department of St. Pauls Publishing, Mumbai for their positive encouragement and useful suggestions.

Understanding Balance,

Success & Happiness

The Big Picture

You must decide how to balance your life, for only you can see the big picture. Only you know what your commitments and goals are and can hear your inner voice. Learn to listen to your body and trust it. When you get restless, have on hand creative ways to rest, delight, and renew yourself. When you are working too hard, your body tells you to slow down and take a break. The same is true of play. If you are playing and get restless and distracted by thoughts of work, your sub-conscious may be telling you that it’s time to get back to work. By trying to keep the big picture in mind, you will see that work and play are both essentials of a balanced, fulfilling life. Then, when you are trying to have fun but keep thinking of work, you can work or plan for a while and again release your capacity to play.

As you enjoy more family and personal time, you will bring more productive energy, more creative thinking, and a better attitude to everything you do. You will become a better listener and will be less likely to become grumpy, pre-occupied, or impatient. Unhappiness is often the result of burnout that happens when we constantly contaminate both our work time and our playtime.

Learning to create a system with which to see your life, not as a series of notes to be played, but as a symphony to be harmonized, will help you find more time and deeper enjoyment of the time you have.

– Ann McGee-Cooper and Duane Trammell

God is Happiness

The only purpose of life is to know God.

Many people may doubt that finding God is the purpose of life;

but everyone can accept the idea that the purpose of life is to find happiness.

God is Happiness. He is Bliss. He is Love.

He is Joy that will never go away from your soul.

So why shouldn’t you try to acquire that Happiness?

– Paramhana Yogananda

A Never Ending Journey

Success is never ending because success is like the process of seed planting. Good deeds, honestly offered, immediately are transformed into fertile seeds which when planted will bear fruit!

Success is an evolution, not an overnight achievement; a journey, not a destination; an unending project, never a single, simple accomplishment that stands alone unrelated to the past and disconnected from the future. Success is a never-ending process of going through good times and bad, pleasure and pain, ups and downs, ins and outs!

Once you have reached the mountaintop, don’t stop! Until every hungry person in the world is fed; every crying person is comforted; every depressed person has cause to smile again; every discouraged person is encouraged; and every lethargic person is motivated—don’t stop possibilitizing. To whom much is given, from him much will be required, Jesus taught. Success carries with it a wonderfully heavy responsibility to use this new power as a lever to shift the world a little closer to God! Now is the time not to luxuriate, vegetate, or procrastinate, but to dedicate! Now you have a power base. Use it! Now you have influence. Wield it! Now you have success. Share it! On the peak catch a peek—a new vision, a new dream, a loftier goal! Don’t stop at the top!

– Robert Schuller

Self Motivators

Happiness is found in doing,

not merely in possessing.

Happiness is the one asset that

increases when it is given away.

Success is a journey,

not a destination.

When you arrive you should

have pride behind you,

love around you and

hope ahead of you.

On the peak catch a

peek—a new vision,

a new dream,

a loftier goal!

Don’t stop at the top.

Success is contingent upon a

higher ideal than the mere

accumulation of riches.

Balance in life will

keep you upright.

SECRET # 1

BUILD CHARACTER

The Importance of Character

11 Elements of Character

10 Guidelines to Building Self-Esteem

Abe Lincoln’s letter to his son’s headmaster

Character is power in a much higher sense than knowledge is. A mind without heart; intelligence without conduct; cleverness without goodness are powers in their own way. But they may be powers only for mischief. It is sometimes as difficult to admire them, as it is to admire the dexterity of a pickpocket, for instance.

– Samuel Smiles

The Importance of Character

–   The crown and glory of life is character. It is the noblest possession of a man. Character exercises a greater power than wealth. Character is human nature in its best form. It is moral order embodied in the individual.

Men of character are the conscience of society. Even in war, Napoleon said that the moral is ten times more powerful than the physical.

– Samuel Smiles

–   My road must be through character to power. I will try no other course. I believe that this course, though not perhaps the quickest, is the surest.

– Caning

–   Your character, the quality of your mind, your faith, and your convictions are not subject to decay. It is character that communicates most eloquently—What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

–   Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

– Helen Keller

–   Universal principles are the guidelines that govern our lives perfectly. These principles have enduring, permanent value. They are fundamental. They are essentially unarguable because they are self-evident. They are fundamental truths and under ever circumstance.

People can only experience true