My Best Friend Is the Little Mermaid

Chapter One

Going Overboard

Hi. My name is Calandine Undercurrent, I’m one of those people who don’t care to describe themselves, so I’ll skip all that and just let you draw your own conclusions as this story progresses. But still, there are some things you need to know, so let me get to the heart of the matter, or the pearl of the oyster, as we like to say.

Firstly, I’m a mermaid. I live in the waters of the Atlantic ocean—one of the four great oceans of the world, you know—and if you don’t know than…that’s why I’m telling you. I live with my family in a deep section of the ocean called Bubbly Springs. My family consists of two little sisters—Meanna and Daphne (affectionately called trouble) and my parents, Dad and Merm—ha, that’s a little under-the-sea humor for you, sorry.

Now, before this whole mess began there was only one person in my life besides my family who was of any real importance to me, and that was my best friend, Abby. Now before I jump right into the tidal wave that is Abatina Jetstream, I should tell you a little more about my life so that you fully realize just how much it was turned upside down. Bear with me as this mermaid’s tail begins and I shift in and out of the past tense…

You may recall me referring to my two sisters as trouble, but to be fair they take after me. There was a time when I was known for making waves, rocking the boat if you will. There are still records of a few of these incidents, most of which I am inclined to deny for one reason: My life goal has always been to study magic with the Sea-Dragons.

Let me explain. As you probably have noticed there is a shortage of magic in this world, particularly in humans. Humans stopped believing in magic and magical creatures years ago, in fact the last great human magic user was Merlin, and it is my shared theory that he had some fairy blood in him. Anyway, my point is that you’d think that as rare and precious as magic is that those creatures still blessed to be able to use it would be way into it. Sadly, this is not the case. Many mers have taken to leading nearly magic-less, dull, normal, and shamefully human lives. Though every mer possesses inborn magical powers, it is their choice to develop them or ignore them. In fish-school we learn the fundamentals of magic, simple and useful spells helpful in everyday life. Once we complete the basic courses we can then continue our training, if we so wish, by enrolling in advanced magic classes. If we take well to that then it’s an almost guaranteed future in college level magic, learning the kind of spells that you need a license and/or a degree to perform legally; this all leads up to a career in magic that is currently an all too open field. But for the select few, the most serious mergicians, there is an even higher calling, and that is an apprenticeship with the Sea-Dragons. The Sea-Dragons hold all the secrets to mer-magic, their libraries contain every spell ever written, and they alone know the secrets of unlocking them. Becoming an apprentice to the Sea-Dragons is not a path chosen lightly, and only a handful have ever made it, but those who have learn magic beyond imagining. The Sea-Dragons don’t choose just any mer, so it helps to have a clean record. You have to show that you’re serious about magic; you have to study hard and excel as a spell caster. That’s the trouble with magic for an unprivileged like me—magic is restricted to the spells you known, and spells are carefully guarded. Even the most promising and talented young spell caster is left doing first grade spelling, unless they have connections. There are ways of getting spells without earning them, if you’re rich you can buy them, but you’d better be willing to pay. Or you can take your chances by trying to steal information from the Sea-Dragons, but I don’t recommend that. Your best bet is to go treasure hunting and find yourself a discarded spell book, but that’s about as likely as finding pearl in a bed of oysters. Of course, if none of the previous are an option, there’s one more way. If you’re looking for that one-time spell, if you’re not picky about learning the spell yourself, or about who casts it, if you’re really, really desperate, then you turn to the dark stuff. I’m talking about black-market magic; I’m talking about Sea-witches. Sea-witches operate without a degree, they have spells (most likely stolen) that they will perform for you for a cost, but be warned: sometimes the cost is a lot more than you bargained for…

Alright, back to me. I decided at an early age that magic was my calling, and when I choose to do something, I do it right, which is why I have made it my goal to become a Sea-Dragon’s apprentice. At 16, soon enough to be 17, I was more serious than ever, I’d long abandoned my trouble making ways and took to focusing all my energy into being the best student I could be. Well, school is all well and good but then comes summer, that’s the time priorities begin to shift, sometimes without your consent.

It occurred in the summer of this my blissful and sweet 16th year. It began on a day like any other… no, correction—it began on a day that began like any other. I and my best friend Abatina were sitting in a particularly beautiful spot where the sun managed to gleam all the way down through the water and cast rainbows all over our pale, glistening skin. Now before Abatina even speaks, let me tell you a little bit about her. Abatina Jetstream is an extremely rich, pretty, popular, girly, vain, fickle, fashionable, flattering, and flirtatious young mermaid. She is also extremely annoying, not because of any of the aforementioned qualities, but simply because she is impossible to dislike. You see for all of her arguably shallow-pond qualities she is also incredibly sweet, bubbly, energetic, friendly, generous, and just plain sickeningly sugar-coated from her infectious laugh to her contagious smile; it’s really quite revolting. There are three classes of merfolk in this ocean and Abatina is at the crest of the wave. Though she is not in fact King Neptune’s daughter, her father (who happens to work for the king), and pretty much everyone else, treats her like a princess. She is high tide above mid-currents like me, and fathoms away from the unfortunate bottom-feeders, but there is another thing to like about Abatina, she has had every opportunity to be spoiled, and yet there is not a stuck-up or snobbish bone in her tailfin. Alright, now you’re informed of, though most likely not prepared for, Abatina, so… back to the story.

I hope I get a tan. Abatina said as she spread out her arms into the reflecting sunlight. Mers have very sensitive skin; most mers are quite pale, unless like Abatina they spend too much time in sun-heated water. That summer she sucked up every sun-spot we could find, because humans are known for having bronzed skin and it was Abatina’s goal in life to be as human as possible; thus is her tragic fault.

Of course you do, I replied fanning my tail to bring cooler water around my face, but your hair will bleach out too, and then you’ll look like an old merwoman.

Abatina tossed her hair over her shoulder. I’m not worried. she stated confidently, exaggerating her vanity. I rolled my eyes knowing deep down how proud she really was of that dull blonde hair. Most mermaids who are considered blonde really have golden hair, but Abatina’s hair lacked that mermaidian surge of color, it was rather humanoid, and she loved it.

So now you’re aware of the tragedy, the roots of this whole mess, Abatina was obsessed with humans. I watched Abatina bake in the sun and shook my head, You’re finished frying now, I teased, Would you like to be served with or without a side of chips?

Abatina opened one previously shut eye and smiled at me. Just wait until you see how stylish I will be… she remarked.

Yeah, I countered, In human style. You and your obsession, I’m just waiting for the day you cut your tail in half. Okay, so I don’t care for humans, they’re rude! They either insult us by saying we don’t exist, or they spread lies about us being some horrible mutant creatures, that put all our energy into luring them to a watery grave—yeah, like we’d waste our time and effort on them.

Abby’s eyes turned all dreamy, I don’t think I’d go to such extremes, she reassured. But if I did have legs, she added, the first thing I’d do is take a long walk on those sun-soaked sandy shores right above our heads…

I crossed my arms, unimpressed. While you’re up there you could get a job as a travel agent Miss Sun-soaked shores. Why would you want golden beaches when you can have rainbow reefs?

She shrugged and glanced down at her twitching tail. I just want more…

I watched her carefully waiting for her to break into song, she continued to stare down at her fins; I couldn’t help noticing that she was more serious about this than usual. "What more could you possibly get, Princess Abby? I questioned, attempting to lighten the mood. I shouldered her playfully and she smiled, but she still looked far away. Besides, I added finally, certain it would dismiss all human talk, Humans have no magic, whatsoever…"—that ended any interest in the surface world for me.

Abatina looked up at me finally, Oh, drown your magic! she snapped jokingly, though there was an edge to her tone. You sound like, Cereus. Cereus is Abatina’s brother, and though they are twins, they were not very close at all, which kept me from knowing anything about him, or having to spend time with him. There are better things than magic, she stated, but it sounded like madness to me. Abatina sighed, as I shook my head, clearly unconvinced. Well, not everyone thinks like you do, Cali. She added.

Story of my life, I replied wearily and we both laughed, all talk of humans dispelled at least for that moment as we fell silent. We sat side by side basking in the glow of the sun-touched, scintillating water. Ah, these were the days, I closed my eyes, but just as I did somewhere far above the high tide, in the blue sky a cloud shifted, and the sun spot disappeared.

Good Reef. Abby moaned, What does a maid have to do to get a little sun around here! I laughed but inwardly something tensed, Abatina’s human obsession seemed to be elevating. I had thought it would be a passing phase but it instead it seemed to be consuming her.

I glanced upward, the water was getting darker, and so was Abatina’s mood. I think there’s a storm coming, I said, a pretty bad one by the look of the water.

I looked over at Abatina to see that she was frowning. Storms are so boring from down here. she muttered, crossing her arms sulkily, and then just like that an idea shot into her head. I saw her brighten instantly and I knew something was wrong. You know what would make me feel better? she questioned, batting her eyelashes at me manipulatively.

"I think the better question is: do I want to know. I corrected, but she just continued to bat her eyelashes at me. I took a deep breath preparing myself for the worst, alright, what?"

Abatina hopped up and down, grabbing my arm in excitement, Let’s go to the surface! she squealed. She yanked me sideways trying to pull me off into her new scheme. I resisted; I’d been expecting something like this. Come on, she coaxed, Weren’t you just saying the other day that you’re looking for excitement this summer?—A ‘break from the ordinary’ as you put it? . . .

Ah, using my own words against me! Don’t get me wrong, I liked a visit to the surface as much as the next mer, but with all of Abatina’s human talk, I didn’t think it was the best idea. The last thing I wanted to do was feed her obsession. So I tried an excuse: Our parents will be worried if we’re late, especially if they know there’s a storm coming…

We’ll beat the storm! Abatina cut in before I could finish my argument. We’ll just pop in for a quick visit. She was very self-assured, but that wasn’t the same thing as reassuring. Confidence is one of Abby’s strong suits, wisdom, however, was not.

I considered her pretty, pleading face and the excitement that was building in my tailfin. It’d been a while since we’d surfaced; a while since we’d witnessed the danger and exhilaration of a storm. I sighed, Alright, a quick visit. I surrendered; I guess wisdom wasn’t my strong suit either…

I enjoyed the swim up to the surface more than I should have, considering that I knew full well how stupid it was to go up there without telling anyone, and plus, the higher we swam the more obvious it was that we weren’t beating the storm, we were arriving in the middle of it.

Two heads broke the surface, we both gasped in the strange empty air. The sky over head was black and stormy, like a midnight reflection cast on choppy water. The sun had disappeared. There was no light except for the flashes that came by lightning as it cracked like whips through the raging sky. The lightning was followed by thunder, a drumroll announcing the approaching storm, and then rain made its appearance, chilling and sharp. Abatina covered her ears against the thunder, but I didn’t move. My eyes were locked on the sky; it was magnificent and terrifying.

I was so preoccupied with the display that I didn’t notice the wave behind us, rising fifty finlengths above our heads. It would have carried us half-way across the Atlantic if Abatina hadn’t grabbed my arm, and dove under it. No sooner did we get safely underneath it, before the undertow swept us up above the surface again.

We should get out of here, I coughed into the rain-logged air, before the waves catch us. I practically had to yell over the noise of said waves but Abatina didn’t hear me anyway, her attention was elsewhere, pulled off to sea. I grabbed her arm, Abby…

Look! she cried suddenly. She was pointing somewhere past me. I turned to look. There I saw, in the not-too-far distance, a mammoth ship bouncing around on the waves like a cork. We both stared in horror as it tipped this way and that; water splashing up on deck, people—humans,screaming…

More reason to get out of here, I said, pulling her arm, the ship was being carried toward us.

Abatina wouldn’t move, I know that boat! She exclaimed, That’s the King’s boat! Another wave washed over us pulling us down under the sea where we could catch our breath. There was a beach right above Bubbly Springs, an island, and on that island there was a castle. That much I knew; we came to look at it on days when it wasn’t obscured by the storm. However I didn’t know that the ship in front of us belonged to that King on that island and I didn’t want to know why, or how, Abatina did; I just wanted to get out of the storm alive.

I kept my hand firmly on Abatina’s arm to keep her from getting to the surface again. We’re going home. I stated firmly.

Abatina squirmed like a fish in a net, but the humans, she insisted, they’re in danger!

"That’s their problem. I replied sharply, And if you haven’t noticed, so are we."

"But we can swim." she retorted. She yanked away from me and darted to the surface, I had no choice but to follow.

We popped up together, I gasped when I saw how far the ship had drifted; it was nearly in front of us now. At that rate I knew it would only take a few more colossal waves before it would be dashed against the beach; that was if it didn’t fall apart before then… Abatina and I watched in frozen shock as the ship lurched against an oncoming wave, nearly capsizing. Then the ship righted itself again only to be tossed by another wave in the opposite direction, nearly flipping it over. Abatina whimpered beside me. As the ship rocked I saw one single, finless, un-gilled, human body tumble out of the ship and plummet into the waves.

We have to help him! Abatina’s screech was already an echo as I turned to face her. She was already moving towards the ship. I was too dumbstruck to protest; I couldn’t just let him drown, even if he was a human…

We scaled over the water like dolphins, slicing through the waves with our tails, our adrenaline fighting the current and the undertow, and any sense we previously had. I tried to keep my eye on the spot where the sailor had gone down, but with the waves crashing all around us it was hard to tell.

Abatina darted ahead of me just as I caught up to her. Recklessly, she shot above the waves and did a perfect nose dive right into an oncoming wave. I held back, waiting for her to resurface, treading the waves to keep my head up and trying to spot the sailor. My gills needed water. A wave splashed up into my face but only succeeded to choke me. Abatina still didn’t resurface; there was no sign of her, or the sailor. My mind churned worse than the storm—what if the wave had knocked her out? What if she was being swept out to sea? Abatina! I shrieked into the storm, Abatina! . . .

Something dark darted below the surface a few fin-lengths in front of me, catching my eye. Without hesitation I dove for it and my gills filled with delicious water just as I collided with Abatina and the sailor she was struggling to rescue. I found him. she said, as if it weren’t obvious. He’s unconscious; we have to get him to the beach…

Feeling half unconscious myself, I threw the human’s limp arm around my neck. Then let’s get him there. I replied, Fast.

Together we pushed to the surface making sure the sailor’s head was above water, in case he felt like breathing anytime soon. We paddled forward ignoring the waves at our back, pushing toward shore. Maybe you’ve heard stories about half-drowned sailors being rescued by beautiful mermaids; well, it’s a lot harder than it sounds.

As we neared the beach the waves got rougher, we couldn’t just let them carry us in, not unless we wanted to get to the beach in one piece. We had to ride the traitorous waves as gently as possible for our sakes, and for the sake of the puny human. We glided along the salty wall of water… we were nearly there, one final push, and then… we reached the shore! We skimmed the beach, getting a mouthful of sand for our troubles.

We scrambled up the beach, which would have been a lot easier if we had legs and we weren’t carrying a 200-pound sailor-boy. We dragged him to where the waves couldn’t reach him, and then all three of us collapsed in the sand. I sat panting for water as Abatina squealed beside me; I glanced over at her only to watch the flimsy human flop listlessly onto his side. He’s not breathing! Abatina cried. Well, so what? Neither was I at that point. What do we do! she panicked.

I faced the sailor with little sympathy after going through all the trouble to drag him to safety. You have your stupid air! I hollered at him, Now, Breathe! . . . I slapped his face but it didn’t help. Abatina whimpered helplessly. Well… get the water out of him. I instructed.

Abatina leaned over him, her blonde hair falling in her face, How?! She wondered desperately.

I threw my hands up in distress. Suck it out of him! I cried, praying to Neptune that it would work. Without even questioning me for a second Abatina did it. She laid her mouth on his and inhaled deeply, drawing out all the water from his lungs and looking, for all the ocean, like she was kissing him.

The human’s chest caved in as the water came out; Abatina pulled away to give him room. We both stared at him, waiting for him to breathe, but he didn’t. I quickly grew impatient; Abatina began to whimper again. I was fed up, but just as I was about to try slapping him again, his body lurched, and he made a terrible gasping sound, right before he started breathing.

You’re brilliant! Abatina exclaimed, throwing her arms around me. I was too relieved to respond, but I was thrilled, really. Abatina released me and turned her attention back to the human as he coughed up the remaining water in his lungs, burying his face in the sand as he did.

I glanced around, watching him breathe only made me crave water more. I noticed that the storm seemed to be passing, and in the distance I could see that the ship had managed to stay afloat. Abatina, I said, We should go, before he gets back in his right mind and notices that we’re mermaids. Just as I said this, the man finished coughing, and then his ragged shoulders collapsed and he went limp again, pressing his nose in the dirt. Now was our chance to get away. Abatina gently flipped the sailor onto his back. His eyes were shut and he was out again, but at least he was breathing normally. He’ll be fine, I said, he probably lives up somewhere near the castle. The rest of the sailors will find him when they dock.

I quickly realized that Abatina was paying no attention whatsoever to me. Instead she was leaning over the sailor, just staring like he was the most fascinating thing ever. To me he looked like a drowned rat. And then she touched him, on purpose! She slipped her fingers into his dull, curly brown hair. He’s so handsome, she murmured. I took another look at him; he was young, a few years older than us at most, and he was alright looking, for a human.

I shrugged. Abby, we’ve got to go; the other sailors can probably see us from here…

Still, she paid no attention; still, she ran her fingers through his mop of hair. Look, she instructed, pulling it back off his forehead to reveal a gold ringlet set around his brow.

I leaned in to inspect it closer, realizing that there was also a gaudy ring on his index finger. Then I noticed that his clothes, no matter how torn up they were, were not the clothes of a normal sailor. Neptune, I breathed shaking my head as it hit me.

He’s a prince, Abatina said unnecessarily, "The prince… He doesn’t live near the castle; he lives in the castle…" She reached out her hand to touch him again, but I batted it away.

Leave him be! I scolded, now I was really beginning to worry, a prince? What if he remembered what happened? What if he decreed it to all his people? What if he put a price on our heads? I glanced around, suddenly paranoid, my tail tingled. It was still dark, but in that moment I swore I saw a figure standing down on the beach far to our left. I grabbed Abatina’s arm, We’re going. I commanded. I had to drag her away.

Wait! she cried jumping back to the prince’s side, I don’t want him to forget me… I watched in horror as she slipped off one of her sea glass rings and slid it onto his pinky.

I grabbed her arm again, this time sure not to let go. Well, he’d better not remember this. I muttered. We made our way down the beach with Abby glancing back at every second. Soon we were swept back into the waves, water never tasted so good.

The way back down to Bubbly Springs was torture. Abby is always a chatterbox, but that trip set records. The worst part was knowing that now she would never get over her human obsession. That was amazing! She gushed as we headed home.

Amazing! I echoed sarcastically, unable to shake the uneasy feeling that tingled in my tailfin.

Chapter Two

The Calm After The Storm

By the time I got home after our little pleasure cruise, it was dark, not because of the storm, but because it was late, I was a few minutes past my curfew. Hi, Starfish! my mom greeted as I casually swam through the door; she didn’t seem to notice that I was late, but she did notice my bedraggled appearance. Where have you been? she questioned looking me up and down.

Normally, my parents permitted a trip to the surface, as long as, you know, I kept away from the shore, and away from boats, as long as I avoided storms, and most of all avoided humans… I winced slightly, We went to the surface. I admitted.

Mom frowned slightly, You and Abatina? I hope you outswam the storm.

We tried to, I replied with a laugh, hoping my jocularity would throw her off, but her frown only deepened.

"Sometimes I think you’ll swim right back into being troublemaker numero uno. She said shaking her head. But since you were so incredibly diligent all this last fish-school year, I’ll let this one slide. I smiled guiltily and she smiled back at me. Tomorrow stay at the mall," she ordered before kissing me goodnight.

I swam to my room and collapsed on my sponge bed heaving a sigh of relief. I had about half-a-second to relax before there was a knock at my door. It was an unnecessary knock, because, before I could even reply the door swung open and my youngest sister Meanna came swimming right in. I sat up, looked at her, and then collapsed on my bed again. Swimming. I sighed.

Meanna is ten years old, and if she wasn’t so sinkin’ adorable I’d be forced to yell at her for barging in on me like that. Hey, Cali, how’ve you been? she questioned.

"I’ve been better," I replied honestly.

She folded her arms and inspected me, You get in trouble for being late?

Yeah, I’m grounded for the next week. I lied.

Really?

No, not really, I snapped, Now leave me alone! I obviously didn’t mean it, or at least she didn’t think so. She swam over, sat on my bed, and started bouncing up and down.

Don’t you want to know what I did today? she asked making my adventure seem insignificant. I shrugged, which was a good enough answer for her. Okay, so I was at the playground, she began, and Joque that little brat was there. He said that he was smarter than me, that he was getting moved a grade ahead in fish school because he was so smart… She got side-tracked and paused, that can’t really happen can it? It can’t can it?

Meanna, point. I reminded.

She smiled and continued, Anyway so I said I was smarter, I told him I could do magic and he didn’t believe me. I didn’t like where this was going. So I used that teeny little secret spell you taught me last year, and… .

I sat up. The one I told you never to use?! I cried outraged.

She looked at me blankly, Was there another one?

I beat her with my pillow. "Meanna! I could get so busted for teaching my ten-year-old sister tenth grade magic!"

She looked unconcerned, He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone…

I was unimpressed, Yeah, like you promised me you’d never use that spell? I questioned rhetorically. Don’t trust the word of a ten-year-old.

Meanna rolled her eyes at me, It was just the stupid pebble spell. She mimicked the motions, opening her hand to reveal a nonexistent pebble in her palm. Little pebble in my hand; by cloud of dust, return to sand she recited in a sing-song voice, Poof.

You’re such a sea-urchin, I complained, See if I ever teach you any magic again.

She batted her hand at me unconcerned. You should have seen the look on his face, you’d have loved it.

I shook my head. If you ever do this again, Meanna, I swear I’ll drown you…

Before I could finish my threat, there was another knock at the door. Come in, Daphne! Meanna invited and I hit her with my pillow again.

My older, little sister, Daphne came swishing in. Meanna, out. She commanded. Meanna pulled a face at her but obeyed, Daphne shut the door behind her as she retreated.

Daphne smiled triumphantly and turned to me. What’s up Merfriend? She joked, flipping her auburn hair around. We all have reddish hair of various shades. Daphne’s hair is more strawberry-gold toned. Meanna’s is sort of a deep scarlet; and mine is live-wire orange. Daphne flopped onto my bed. You’ll never believe what happened today while you and Abby were gone. She began. Fourteen is a big gossip age.

I rolled my eyes, What’s it about this time, Daph?—Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood for gossip.

She replied crossing her arms, Jayla broke up with Dom yesterday, guess who she’s after now…

Who? I asked in a slightly bored tone.

Guess! She cried; I shrugged. Daphne sighed, Cereus!

No, you can’t be serious… I joked lamely, Daphne rolled her eyes; I didn’t blame her.

For real. she said earnestly, Cereus-serious. She flipped her hair in mocking imitation, ‘I love your hair, Cereus, and your jacket, Cereus’ . . . It was pathetic! He was obviously uninterested. She looked closely at me, her blue eyes rimmed with excitement, but can you imagine when Abatina finds out?

I could. Abatina Jetstream and Jayla Hightide were rivals as far back as I could remember, sandbox rivals. They were the two most popular and rich barely-17-year-old maids in Bubbly Springs. They had this constant ongoing, unspoken rivalry between them and I knew that there was no way Abatina would take kindly to Jayla coming after her twin brother, even if they weren’t particularly close. I groaned and fell back against my bed. I’ll never hear the end of this.

Daphne looked at me pityingly for a moment, but then she nearly squealed with excitement. I can’t wait to see what will happen tomorrow! She’s always been a sucker for this kind of stuff.

Yeah… I said un-emphatically, too worn to think of any other reply. I was secretly wondering if it was possible that Abatina would still be too taken with the prince tomorrow to be bothered with this new Jayla issue; I also wondered which would be worse. But either way I knew that I would be stuck listening to nonstop chatter from Abatina.

Daphne got off of my bed, her work was done. Good night, Cali she said, heading for the door. Don’t let the water bugs bite…

I waved her away teasingly, Yeah, yeah, and all that jazz, I smiled, Goodnight, Daph. She winked at me and then disappeared.

At last, I was alone. I took a deep breath and fell back against my sponge bed, and that was that; I closed my eyes and accidentally fell asleep.

* * *

I slept in late the next morning, that’s the great thing about summer vacation, no alarm clocks. My fin felt a little sore from so much swimming the day before, and everything was so fuzzy it felt like I’d dreamed it all—but no, that would be too simple.

It took me a long while to get presentable that morning; the worst part was going into the kitchen for breakfast. I swam in only to find that everyone was gone, even Mom! There was at least a note from her that said, Out to get groceries, have fun at the mall, Love Mom. There were no explanations whatsoever from the rest of my family, but when I turned on my shell phone I found out that Abatina had called me three times; I’ve since been trying to work on checking it more than once a millennium.

All three messages put together basically consisted of this: Cali, its Tina. (She preferred being called Tina, as opposed to Abby; she