The Mindfulness Response: Inner Happiness Every Day
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About this ebook
The Mindfulness Response: Inner Happiness Every Day will give you the tools that you will need to live a life that is both enriching and meaningful. The mindfulness response technique that you will easily learn and adapt into your daily life will assist you in dealing with everyday problems that we all face as well as major issues that will eventually come your way.
Believe or not, you already have everything you need right now to bring the mindfulness response into play in your own lifeit is easier than you think to restore balance and happiness in life. Dr. Moore provides exercises, step-by-step techniques, and activities for you to begin your own mindful practice. You will quickly see results.
We cannot change everything we might wish to change in our lives. But, through a mindfulness response we can learn to accept our experiences, perceive events differently, and respond more effectively to the everyday hassles of life. If you think that this is worth ten minutes a day, please read this book!
Deborah C. Moore
Deborah C. Moore, Ph.D., is a life coach, educator, and licensed marriage and family therapist. Dr. Moore is the founder of the “The Mindfulness Response Program (MRP),”— a program designed to help people create inner happiness and well-being. MRP integrates mindful-based training for stress management and relationship development. This program empowers and motivates individuals to manage stressful life events, reach their maximum potential, and achieve important life goals. Dr. Moore was featured on CBS WFAN and WABC radio talk shows addressing stress management and coping techniques. Additionally, she serves as an adjunct professor. A retired lieutenant from the New York City Police Department, she currently practices in New York City. For more information about the author please visit www.drdebimoore.org
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The Mindfulness Response - Deborah C. Moore
Copyright © 2015 Deborah C. Moore.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Balboa Press
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1 (877) 407-4847
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2292-0 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2294-4 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2293-7 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2014917555
Balboa Press rev. date: 05/21/2015
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION
Chapter 1
MAJOR! MINOR! MINDFUL!
Chapter 2
KEEPING IT REAL: THE FACTS ABOUT STRESS
Chapter 3
DO I HAVE TO CHANT?
Chapter 4
THE MIND/BODY CONTINUUM
Chapter 5
HERE AND NOW
Chapter 6
MINDFULNESS MEDITATION
Chapter 7
IS YOUR STORY TELLING YOU?
Chapter 8
HANDLING THE EVERYDAY HASSLES OF LIFE
Chapter 9
THREE COMPONENTS FOR HEALTHY LIVING
Chapter 10
WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
Appendix A:
THOUGHT PROCESS WORKSHEET
Appendix B:
INCIDENT WORKSHEET
Appendix C:
TEN SIMPLE WAYS TO BE HAPPY
Appendix D:
FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE TO HAPPINESS
REFERENCES
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to all those seeking inner happiness.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO THANK ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO made this book possible. After years of self-neglect and neglecting important people in my life, I want to thank you for being patient with me during this process. I can honestly say I have now found balance in life and have developed inner happiness.
As a clinical therapist who has worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, I would like to thank my clients for allowing me to delve into their lives, to hear the most interesting details about their lives, and for allowing me to assist them in achieving balance and well-being, which allowed me to achieve that same balance as well. We learn from those we try to help and apply what we know and understand to ourselves. My clients have influenced me as I have influenced them. As I sat back in my chair giving out homework assignments,
I was exercising those same assignments in my life. Therapy is an exercise in risk-taking for both client and therapist. I became a model of change for my clients through the exercises I gave to them.
At times, therapists must be creative in assisting clients—thank you for allowing me to be spontaneous and creative in my approach. Creativity allowed me to become more energized, productive, and fresher in my perspective—all of which made me better able to help you.
INTRODUCTION
The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.
—Thích Nhất Hạnh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
H APPINESS IS ALL AROUND US. LOOK AT THE TREES, NOTICE THE beautiful flowers, and hear the whispers of the blowing wind. The world is sending each of us a message: All you have to do is be open to it!
I often share this perspective with new clients who have come to me for help in regaining a sense of balance in their lives. A common response is: How can I possibly be happy when I am feeling so stressed?
This book is meant to answer that question. It’s about the how of moving from feeling stressed to feeling happy and learning to appreciate all of life’s precious moments. This book is about how you can learn to embrace life’s challenges instead of avoiding them.
Most of us would agree that feeling stressed
is the polar opposite of feeling happy. Yet stress is a necessary part of life, an opportunity for human development, a key to learning, and the potential spark that ignites both growth and creativity. Properly understood, stress is an essential and potentially positive factor in countless areas of our lives. The old saying necessity is the mother of invention
could just as easily and accurately be stated: Stress is the mother of invention.
It surprises my clients to hear it, but the reality is that some truly amazing things can happen in our lives if we manage to respond constructively to stress. By the same token though, whenever we lose the ability to respond to stress constructively, we pay a price. Sometimes that price is too high.
For a number of years, I have been working with people from all walks of life, face-to-face and eye-to-eye on stress management and stress coping issues. Each person had a unique, profoundly personal experience with the daily reality of stress. That is part of the nature of stress. Each of us experiences it in our own way.
It is also in the nature of stress that it sometimes causes us to lose track of what it does to us. That is certainly the case with my clients. Usually, they come to me because they are experiencing negative outcomes in their lives, and many of those outcomes connect to stress in ways they do not yet understand and have not learned to address healthily. For instance, they may be experiencing difficulty communicating effectively with coworkers, friends, or relatives. Very often, we find that improving the ability to manage day-to-day stress also improves the person’s moment-to-moment experience of the relationship and his or her communication skills.
If you are reading these words, it is possible that you too are looking for help, guidance, and support in understanding the complex role that stress plays in your life, and you are also seeking to learn how you can achieve a sense of balance and well-being. It is possible that you too are looking for a better, more constructive way to deal with the stress you encounter in your daily life. I wrote this book because I am confident that the core principle I will be sharing with you, which I call the "mindfulness response," can help you. It has helped hundreds of my clients. More importantly, research on mindfulness training suggests that individuals who use this approach develop better health and well-being.
Believe it or not, you already have everything you need right now to bring the mindfulness response into play in your own life in a noticeable, positive way. It is easier than you think to restore balance in your own life, and although it does take a little practice, you will begin to see results quickly. That is because you can start right away with what you have here and now.
Start with What You Have
In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility.
—Victoria Moran, Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to