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    Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies: Commonsense Ideas on How to Get Along Better with the Important People in Your Life
    Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies: Commonsense Ideas on How to Get Along Better with the Important People in Your Life
    Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies: Commonsense Ideas on How to Get Along Better with the Important People in Your Life
    Ebook155 pages1 hour

    Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies: Commonsense Ideas on How to Get Along Better with the Important People in Your Life

    By Paul E. Heacock

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    About this ebook

    This book is an accurate synthesis of a treasure chest of scholarly work. It is written in an honest and conversational style. It is the product of significant insight. Paul Heacock is, indeed, a town father who will raise global well-being. Maria Hunt, PhD Professor of Psychology, Avila University

    Paul has a great memory for humorous anecdotes...they bring home the points.Paula Kay, W. Kay and Associates

    Very well written and extremely easy to understand and implement. To me, this is the BASIC training for life skills and reminds me in many ways of my experience in military basic training. If we wanted to survive basic, all of the trainees in my flight had to work together or suffer the consequences, meaning we had to put our differences aside and make it work.Danny Walker, Chief Master Sergeant (retired), Air National Guard

    I enjoyed reading this book. It reminded me of concepts I had forgotten and I also learned some new things. I really liked the examples and good use of humor and anecdotes.Jim Temme, Author, Trainer, Speaker and Consultant

    It was a pleasure reading BASIC Leadership and Relationship Strategies and giving thought to the excellent content. The examples and stories really add clarity and color to the material.Dave Wine, President and CEO MutualAid eXchange

    This labor of love is very thought provoking and right on point. An excellent job capturing the core of leadership development.Bob Gibson, President and CEO (retired), Medical Protective

    "This is a great summary of Paul's life, what he has learned, how he actually lives. Indeed, it's a great reflection on a life well lived. A good guide for all.Cary Phillips, President and Founder, CP1 Consulting, LCC

    Enjoy the read. If youre young, applying these concepts can immediately better your life and relationships. If you are in the middle of your working life, application of these ideas will make the remainder of your career and relationships more fulfilling. Even if youre mature like Paul and me, applying these great ideas to your relationships will significantly enhance the golden years.Dale Hotze, Managing Director, AFM International

    A readily comprehensible how-to for managing others, but as importantly, managing oneself. Contains wisdom anyone can access, whether one plans on becoming a leader of industry or just a better counselor, teacher, or parent. - US Review of Books

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTrafford Publishing
    Release dateMar 18, 2014
    ISBN9781490730219
    Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies: Commonsense Ideas on How to Get Along Better with the Important People in Your Life
    Author

    Paul E. Heacock

    Paul Heacock lives with his wife, Janis, in Overland Park, Kansas. He retired from full-time work on January 1, 2014, and now offers keynote presentations and facilitates training on financial literacy as well as BASIC leadership and relationship strategies.

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      Book preview

      Basic Relationship and Leadership Strategies - Paul E. Heacock

      Copyright 2014 Paul E. Heacock.

      Illustrated by Bob Dinkins

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

      ISBN: 978-1-4907-3019-6 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4907-3021-9 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2014905013

      Heacock, Paul 1945–

      BASIC Relationship and Leadership Strategies/Paul E. Heacock p. cm.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

      and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Trafford rev. 06/20/2014

      33164.png www.trafford.com

      North America & international

      toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

      fax: 812 355 4082

      Contents

      Guiding Wisdom

      Foreword by an Old Friend

      Foreword by a New Colleague

      Preface

      In the Beginning

      The BASIC Acronym

      An Important Personal Disclaimer

      Summary of the BASIC Strategy—Page 1

      Summary of the BASIC Strategy—Page 2

      Understand Behavior

      Abandon Any Hope of Ongoing Control over How Others Act

      People Make Conscious Decisions about Their Behavior

      Using BASIC Skills for Better Behavior Choices

      The Only Way to Get the Best of an Argument Is to Avoid It

      What Gets Rewarded Is What Gets Done

      Model the Behavior You Desire

      The 80/10/10 Rule

      Understand Behavior—Summary

      Keep Balance in Your Personal and Professional Life

      Understand What Causes Stress

      Live in the Present

      Keep Your Perspective

      Seek and Use Humor for Energy

      Balance Interpersonal and Technical Skills

      Beware of the Tyranny of the Urgent

      Don’t Confuse Activity with Results

      Don’t Be a Wandering Generality—Establish Goals

      Keep Balance in Your Personal & Professional Life—Summary

      Begin Each Circumstance Anew

      Call on Past Experiences,

      but Assess Each Circumstance Anew

      Avoid Stereotyping

      Watch for Preconceived Negative Biases

      Make the Essential Transition to Leadership

      Think of Parents as Leaders

      Begin Each Circumstance Anew—Summary

      Be Situational

      Be the Senior Partner in a Relationship

      Values and Significant Emotional Events Impact Behavior

      Different Frames of Reference Cause Different Reactions

      There Are No Absolutes—

      Flexibility Is a Sign of Maturity

      People Often Need Care Most When They Deserve It the Least

      Be Situational—Summary

      Watch the I

      Build a Strong and Positive but Balanced Self-Image

      There Is No I in Teamwork

      Build Relationships—Network

      Embrace the Big Picture

      Recognize Political and Power Forces

      Delegate at Work and Home

      Watch the I—Summary

      Improve Communication

      Practice Effective Listening

      Pick Your Words Carefully

      Remember, All of Us Are Imperfect Communicators

      Improve Communication—Summary

      Handle People with Care

      We Get Back from People What We Give Them

      People Don’t Care How Much You Know

      When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Arrives

      Be Tough on Results but Tender on People

      Attack the Problem, Not the Person

      Handle People with Care—Summary

      Use Your Common Sense

      If All Else Fails, Trust Your Common Sense

      Listen to Your Intuition

      Watch for BFOs

      Knowledge without Common Sense Is Folly

      Use Your Common Sense—Summary

      Final Thoughts

      Summary of the BASIC Strategy—Page 1

      Summary of the BASIC Strategy—Page 2

      About the Author

      Especially for Abby, my favorite (and only) grandchild. May you discover and value these BASIC strategies and commonsense principles earlier and apply them more consistently than I have.

      Abby, keep in mind the following quote from George Bernard Shaw that you asked me to put in the book just for you:

      Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

      With appreciation to all the people I worked with at General American Life Insurance Company, Frankona America Reinsurance Companies, Human Dynamics, and MutualAid eXchange.

      Also for all the people I have interacted with over the years that have helped me think through these ideas. With special thanks to Bob Dinkins, Bob Gibson, Jon Heacock, Janet Horner, Dale Hotze, Bill and Paula Kay, Cary Phillips, Jim Temme, Danny Walker, Dave Wine, and Dan Wolgemuth.

      Guiding Wisdom

      Image33333.JPG

      The greatest truths are too important to be new.

      —Somerset Maugham

      Real human freedom is the ability to pause between the events of our lives and choose how we will respond.

      —Rollo May

      What gets rewarded is what gets done.

      —Dr. Michael LeBoeuf

      What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.

      —Abraham Maslow

      Yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is the only cash you have, so spend it wisely.

      —Kay Lyons

      I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

      —Mark Twain

      Urgent things are seldom important, and important things are seldom urgent.

      —Charles Hummel

      In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy.

      —J. Paul Getty

      Every actor needs a different director at different times; it is my job to be that director.

      —Steven Spielberg

      Our frame of reference gives words meaning.

      —Unknown

      People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

      —Teddy Roosevelt

      When the student is ready, the teacher arrives.

      —Buddhist Proverb

      The average person has a lot of common sense because they haven’t used any of it yet.

      —Charley Jarvis

      Everything should be explained as simply as possible, but no simpler.

      —Albert Einstein

      Foreword by an Old Friend

      F orty-five years—not a long time in the history of modern business, but long enough to have witnessed firsthand the evolution of one of the most well-balanced and best leaders I have ever known—Paul Heacock.

      Paul and I began our professional careers together at General American Life Insurance Company in St. Louis as accountants. Actually, we were junior accountants since he didn’t have his bachelor’s degree at that time and my degree was in general business, not accounting. We mastered the technical side of insurance accounting rather quickly. Then we moved on to lead the very accounting departments that wouldn’t hire either of us as anything but apprentices.

      Even as our careers took us in different directions, we must have made the transition to leadership effectively, having both risen to senior executive positions in multinational companies and owning and operating our own successful businesses. Our success was not because of any technical knowledge we had developed, but because of the leadership and people skills we learned and applied along the way.

      We learned a lot from each other in those forty-five years. I think I got the better end of the deal, watching and learning from one of the best. He says I have changed over the years (I think he means for the better), but he has always been the same calm, patient, caring leader, the equal of which I seldom see.

      Though we have individually moved many times, I am so happy our paths have come full circle, and Paul and I are both in Kansas City as we begin retirement (that means no longer working for a paycheck). While we plan to stay busy with selected projects and raising grandchildren, we will have even more opportunities to use the BASIC Leadership and Relationship Strategies.

      Enjoy the read.

      If you’re young, applying these concepts can immediately better your life and relationships.

      If you are in the middle of your working life, application of these ideas will make the remainder of your career and relationships more fulfilling.

      Even if you’re mature like Paul and me, applying these great ideas to your relationships will significantly enhance the golden years.

      Dale Hotze

      Friend

      Foreword by a New Colleague

      I first met Paul Heacock during a company luncheon, right after I delivered the first segment of a mindfulness workshop that he references later in the book. He approached me in an unassuming, honest, and straightforward manner and said, You’re not teaching anything new here. I paused to contemplate whether he was a satisfied or dissatisfied customer and then decided to practice what I had just preached. You’re right, I said. Then with comedic timing, he returned with, "We just

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