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Woman's Water, Man's Fire: The Metaphysics of Love, Sex and Relationship
Woman's Water, Man's Fire: The Metaphysics of Love, Sex and Relationship
Woman's Water, Man's Fire: The Metaphysics of Love, Sex and Relationship
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Woman's Water, Man's Fire: The Metaphysics of Love, Sex and Relationship

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You've seen the news. You may have experienced some level of it in your relationship or someone close to you has experienced it. How can two people go from loving relationship to relationship failure? Is your relationship destined to fail? Is there a biological determinate to the success or failure of your relationship? Is your relationship cycle mirroring your sexual cycle?
What is the biology of your hormonal relationship with each other? Are you releasing your energy in a way that allows your relationship to only go so far? Has your sexual biology predetermined your success or failure in your relationship? Are you ready to take greater responsibility for the success of your relationship? Do you need a blueprint or a plan to help you create it?
"Woman's Water, Man's Fire" connects the dots between the universal laws of our existence and the landmarks that map out our relationship success or failure. If you could prevent your next relationship failure by changing how you approached it would you? If you could anticipate your relationship problems before they became a problem, would that be of value to you? Do you need greater clarity on what is going on when two people are relating?
Do you want to know how to change your sexual cycle to match your relationship goals? If so, get this book. What if you could keep the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship going indefinitely? If you have ever wanted greater insight into love, sex and relationships then get this book.
A Woman's Water, Man's Fire connects the dots between the following landmarks in relationships that influence each other: Nutrition, Nurturing, Sex, Hormonal depletion, Emotional instability, Stress, Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, Bi-polar, Drugs, Alcohol, Prescription Drugs, Dependency, Resistance, Violence, Suicide.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherBookBaby
Release dateOct 24, 2018
ISBN9781543952407
Woman's Water, Man's Fire: The Metaphysics of Love, Sex and Relationship

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    Woman's Water, Man's Fire - Anusha Amen-Ra

    perfection.

    We used to fix stuff when they broke, including relationships.

    "When your child poos on your lap, do you cut off your thigh?

    Is it not a bath you give them, and the poo you wash off?"

    Today, it seems no one has patience for imperfection.

    We no longer fix broken stuff anymore. It’s often cheaper to

    discard and just buy a new one. But people are not stuff.

    They have feelings. They hurt. They bleed. They love.

    It’s hypocritical to expect perfection of others when we

    know we are imperfect ourselves.

    —Nana Kofi Acquah

    I come from the old school. When something broke you fixed it. As a result, I have done my own car maintenance and repair for years. Through patience and my belief in myself I have come to understand complex systems and to develop the capability to explain them to others, whether it was guided missile systems, medical laboratory procedures, drug interactions or dark field microscopy. It takes patience to understand a complex system and even more to fix it when it breaks. Now everything is the throwaway culture. Use it once and discard it. If it breaks buy another one. As a child my father impressed upon me the idea that any problem could be solved if you spent enough time trying to figure it out. Because of its biological energy matrix one of the most complex systems to understand is that of relationship. And when it breaks. Can it be fixed? Can you create a relationship in such a way that when it undergoes stress and strain it collapses on itself and gets stronger?

    I grew up in a traditional family, and as a result had a desire to be in relationship growing up - perhaps wanting to imitate my parents’ seemingly great marriage. My father was in the military and my mother was a traditional homemaker. I was married at 26 and divorced at 30. At the time, I really wanted there to be a better way of relating to a woman, but I didn’t really understand what I was doing wrong. Now, many years later, I realize that the problem was in my own understanding of myself and the trap of my ego. Having a deficiency of hormones and the lack of understanding of the universal laws by which we are all governed.

    I completed my first draft of this book twenty years ago -. At that time I had formulated my ideas around creating successful relationships which I began to practice. This after a marriage failure, and after the experience of a similar pattern I observed in relationships and my desire to create them more successfully. At that time, I saw my relationship failures as a problem to be solved. I went about trying to figure them and myself out. Immediately after finishing the book and at the end of a relationship I had an opportunity to open a Holistic Healing Center in San Francisco. I had gone through a series of events that led me to this opportunity. I had initially had a vision for creating a Holistic Healing Center in 1991, after working with my oldest brother who had issues with addiction. I had also had issues with my own health as well that led me in search of holistic alternative to my problems. Eventually I was able to develop a protocol for supporting people who had issues with substance abuse. This program lasted for about 20 years. I developed a comprehensive approach to finding an alternative solution to drugs, alcohol and prescription medications. During this time, I was able to see the correlation between peoples’ issues with their feelings and emotions, their depression and their use of substances and the subsequent interventions used by doctors to deal with them.

    Over those years I also had relationships that I entered which all lasted for various lengths of time. While I felt I had a good idea of what relationship success was, I still felt more research on my part needed to be done. I have through this time observed myself and my partners’ behaviors and have seen the correlation between our hormones and our relationships. I have also observed the relationships of the guests who came to our Residential Treatment Center. Helping our guests to deconstruct their shattered lives and failed relationships was an important aspect to their healing. In my last relationship I observed my partner go through her hormonal changes, which ended in her going through menopause. I observed her change in behavior as well. Once that occurred I was able to draw a more complete picture of what was going on in relation to those cycles. I first became aware of the stark difference in energy between men and women when I was around 30 years old, while looking for answers as to why I was so sexually challenged in relationships. Why, for instance, I would lose interest in the person shortly after having sex with them. I was fortunate enough to find the answers in Taoists and Tantric Sexual Energy Channeling through books on the subject. Once my sexual energy performance improved, I realized that it also helped me in having a much more positive attitude towards the women I was in relationships with. Before learning this practice my relationships sexually with women could be compared to eating my food fast. And although I found myself full at the end of the meal, I realized that slowing down made the meal much more enjoyable. Likewise having the traditional sexual relationships I had with my partners, I found that when I was able to channel my energy in a different way I was able to enjoy the experience more. It made me have a more consistently positive attitude in my relationships. The experience over time proved to be one of an upward trajectory instead of the crashing feelings I would experience inevitably in relationships. I continued throughout this time to develop more understanding and began to achieve more success in my relationships as a result.

    So essentially this book has taken me over 30 years of research and development. I believe my observations, understandings and practices have given me greater understanding and have given me more of a complete picture of relationships. These two understandings - the nature of energy flow and the nature of sexual energy flow - have also enabled me to have more successful relationships.

    My aim now is meant to connect the dots between the dynamics of relationships, love, sex, emotions, stress, depression, anxiety and hormonal depletion and our interventions of drugs, alcohol and prescription medications - and their effects on relationship success or failure. Our program for success for our guests at our Treatment Center was based on Self Help, Self-Development, Self-Love, Self-Protection and Self Mastery. I realized that one of the main issues of going to Treatment Centers or any institution and the issues of substance use disorder is that people run the risk of becoming institutionalized and dependent. In fact, I believe this dependency is one of the reasons that those approaches don’t work and only have a marginal success rate. The responsibility for our health and success in life falls squarely on our own shoulders. When you become institutionalized it means you don’t have the capability to do things without the institution being there. So, I wanted to give people more of a sense of their power and show them that they have the power to create the success that they want, provided they have a good plan. In counseling people about their relationships, or even in discussing my own relationship with others I have always asked, What is your plan for a successful relationship? Most people, even after explaining it, didn’t seem to get it. This is also why I have written this book. It is meant to be a blueprint for creating success. It’s also meant to give people a document to help reinforce their need for s a program based on Self Help, Self-Development, Self- Love, Self-Protection and Self Mastery.

    While we were able to help many people coming through our Center, I realized that at the core of people’s issues with substances were their issues with relationships. Having developed an understanding of my own issues of hormonal depletion and that of my partners and of our guests, I have now developed a working model for success in relationships that I believe can support people as they come together to create the goal of successfully relating to each other.

    At the time of the first writing of this book in the mid 90’s, the use of psychics was popular in seeking help in relationships.

    Now there seems to be less use of psychics and more people seeing therapists, counselors, coaches and doctors to help us deal with our issues arising out of our relationships. All the issues of emotions, stress, depression, anxiety and subsequent interventions must all now be considered when formulating a plan for becoming ONE in relationships. But one thing is clear. In order to become ONE in relationships we must have a better understanding of ourselves as individuals first. I hope this document will provide a starting point for a greater conversation about how we balance out the energy between a woman’s water and a man’s fire to experience ourselves as ONE.

    My advice when reading this book is to empty your mind of your preconceived ideas about relationships. You should also empty your mind of preconceived ideas and beliefs that could stop you from looking at relationships with a new eye. This book is more about your awareness and less about your beliefs, ideas, thoughts, opinions about relationships.

    As you begin to read the book my advice also is to start from the beginning chapter until the end. Once you get to the end put the book down, let it marinate then read the book again from the last chapter to the first. I have given you this understanding from the top down. But when we normally get in relationship we normally do it from the bottom up. Once you read up the Tree it will give you the flow of where you are at to where you are going. From the greatest differentiation to the highest unification of becoming ONE. This will help you as your awareness grows about the alchemical process that occurs in relationship between water and fire and the metaphysics of love, sex and relationship.

    Chapter 1

    Introduction

    What is a woman? What is a man? Do we really know or understand who and what we are? Do we know and understand what we are doing in relation to each other?

    Relationship and Commitment

    Relationships are probably the most compelling subject that adults engage in. And I would argue at the foundation of the most basic institution of our society. As essential as it is and as integral to our lives, our families and communities that it is it seems unclear as to how it is all created, sustained and fulfilled. How do we know when we are in a relationship? At what point does a relationship start? At what point does it end?

    Is it when you first meet? The first date? The first time you have sex? What constitutes a relationship? Is it the point at which you get married? The point at which you make a commitment to each other? And what does it mean to make a commitment to each other? These are all questions not easily understood or agreed upon by all. When a commitment is made, who is making the commitment? Is it our personality, our ego? Is it our soul? How long does a commitment last? Are we making a commitment for the rest of our lives? Until our feelings change? What part of us is making this commitment? I often hear people - usually women -say that the guy would not make a commitment. He didn’t offer to marry her. Or put a ring on her finger signifying a commitment had been made.

    Relationships and what we are doing when we embark on creating them is often a path with an uncertain destination. There are no fixed rules for how they are constructed and what they look like when they are completed.

    To talk about relationships with people can bring up many issues, especially when sex is involved. In fact, many people would rather not talk about relationships and sex at all.

    They would rather just see what happens, believing that how you have a relationship and sex are all done by forces of attraction and emotions beyond their control.

    Relationships and sex have been shrouded in mystery. It seems that as a result, people in our society don’t do them very well. It’s well known the lack of success that people have in them.

    Yet they remain a big part of everyone’s attention. The failure of relationships can have one of the most devastating effects on our lives.

    Anatomy of a Failed Relationship:

    I awakened today to the morning news. Another famous person has committed suicide at the age of 55. After taking a look into the dynamics of her life it’s easy to see why this occurred. She committed suicide after leaving a note to her young teen daughter. Reports are that she and her husband were going through a divorce. At age 55 she no doubt had gone through the menopause. This would correlate with a crashing drop in her hormones as well. It was also reported that she had been treated for depression and anxiety. When you are wealthy, and you have a mental or physical problem, the first things you turn to are usually ways of self-medication and doctor prescribed medication. I believe that several factors led to her demise.

    Let’s start with her plan or lack thereof to create what she was hoping to create. What was the goal? What was the plan? Was there sufficient gas in the tank to keep their car moving towards an agreed upon goal? She must have had some deeply unresolved issues in her relationship for her to end her life in this way. When her relationship began to implode, she sought refuge in the bottle. Her depression and anxiety continued to challenge her, so it was natural for her to seek help from doctors who prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. The problem with the use of these drugs is so enormous that in and of themselves they would have challenged her in her life and relationship beyond what she realized. As they created their own debilitation giving her more depression and anxiety, dependency and resistance could be the only result. The reason is that those drugs are usually given as an open-ended prescription for depression and anxiety while at the same time creating the depression and anxiety that she was taking them for. They would create dependency- resistance which in and of itself would be enough to make a person suicidal.

    Now we can see the correlation between our physical body, our thoughts, emotions and stress and our interventions of alcohol, drugs and prescription medications, and our hormonal depletion and their relationship with love, sex, and relationships. All in the pursuit of what? Of finding love? Of fulfilling our goals in relationships? What I would like to bring to your attention is the correlation and relationship of all these aspects of ourselves. Once we can connect the dots and shine light on our path we can see more clearly, and we have more options. More options are good. We don’t create something to fail. We don’t get married so we can get a divorce. We don’t get into a relationship to get out of it. We create something to be successful. And if being successful is about having peace, love and happiness, then this discussion about how we can achieve that can be a step in the right direction.

    As humans we are creative creatures. And so it seems that in the coming together of men and women in relationships with each other, that we are coming together to create something.

    We have likely all tried our hands at attempting to create relationships, and perhaps we were not so successful with it.

    So, it is from a place of having created a less then desirable relationship that we shall begin. It’s probably from a place of chaos that we come together. Seeking answers from a chaotic situation that you have created for yourself is a great place to start.

    My interest in relationship success did not just come overnight. In fact, it has been many years in the making. After my first marriage ended I was compelled by the loss of my relationship to figure out why it ended the way that it did. This began an intense analysis of my life and why my behavior was such that it was. To be completely honest, my behavior was out of control. And, quite frankly, I didn't know why.

    I began a journey of self-discovery that led me to the bookstore for answers. Having always been someone who likes to read, books have always held answers to my questions. They were a natural alternative in search of support. It always seemed uncanny to me that whenever I had a problem I could just go to the library or bookstore, and a book that would give me the answers I needed just seemed to fall off the shelves into my hand. So, I began my journey through the numerous self-help books I found, with each one giving me further insights into myself and hopes for understanding this thing called relationship. After my divorce, my sister gave me my first book on relationships entitled The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. It was a revelation for me as I read one of the chapters The Myth of Romantic Love. I remember getting also a timely book at the end of a relationship called Love is Letting Go of Fearby Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD. This caused another revelation as he talked about the value of the present moment. There were other books I read to further my understanding into myself and into relationships. I also attended conferences and workshops on the human body and its many properties that gave me even more insight. Eventually I went on a study tour with a group called The Association for the Study of Classical African Civilizations (ASCAC), to discover the mysteries of ancient Kemet, (Egypt). I went with scholars and educators and others interested in piecing together the past in the hopes of gaining insight into the present. It was after my return and through meeting others interested in health, nutrition and spiritual growth that I continued my search for a better understanding of the mystery behind a woman’s water and a man’s fire, and the science of becoming ONE.

    Pyramids and Institution Building

    After much study into the cosmology and spirituality of the Ancient Kemetic people I began to understand how it was that this ancient culture was able to create the many

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