The Thinking Man
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The Thinking Man - Stephen J. Fernbach
Me
Mornings
Mornings are never a good time for me
When the world beckons my call.
I’d rather sleep until eleven
And stare endlessly at the wall.
My alarm clock is something to laugh at and punch
Even if my fiancé and mother beg me to wake up
I say I’d rather wait until lunch.
Somehow, I managed to make a living anyway
With a flexible boss who looks the other way
As long as I am showered and clean
More often than not
And I get most of the work done
Without putting my supervisor on the spot.
I know that this is no way to run an airline
But in this computerized age
You can keep your own hours
And still get to your destination.
So please forgive me if I am habitually tardy
In the afternoon, I am energetic, conscientious
And the life of the party
I’m Making My Postman Rich
Here’s to those online offers,
Those midnight soft selling pitches
That lead me into temptation
Because they sound like a new innovation.
I am taking money that should have been saved
And tossing it in my debtor’s ditch
While I endlessly keep on making my postman rich.
‘Tis true that I never find the time
To read all the magazines
That I order
Which stack up under my desk
And declare me a mad hoarder.
You see that I love buying things online
With a swipe of my finger tip,
I can get anything I desire
And avoid the department store trip.
Packages pile up at my front door
And every evening becomes a holiday
When I return from work
Except when my mother arrives
And tells me I am going berserk.
So let me warn you
That there are consequences
To inconspicuous consumption
At twelve AM.
Because your