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    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse
    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse
    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse
    Ebook114 pages50 minutes

    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse

    By John Lithgow

    3/5

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    About this ebook

    New York Times Bestseller!

    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse is Volume 1 of a satirical poetry collection from award-winning actor and bestselling author John Lithgow. Chronicling the last few raucous years in American politics, Lithgow takes readers verse by verse through the history of Donald Trump's presidency.

    • Lampoons the likes of Betsy DeVos, William Barr, Rudy Giuliani, and dozens more.
    • Illustrated from cover to cover with Lithgow's never-before-seen line drawings.
    • Draws inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, and even Mother Goose.
    • Great for fans of A Very Stable Genius by Mike Luckovich, Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams, and The Donald J. Trump Presidential Twitter Library by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.

    The poems collected in Dumpty draw inspiration from A. A. Milne, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Mother Goose, and many more.

    A feat of laugh-out-loud lyrical storytelling, this timely volume is bound to bring joy to poetry lovers, political junkies, and Lithgow fans alike.

    Audio edition read by the author.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherChronicle Books Digital
    Release dateOct 22, 2019
    ISBN9781797201405
    Dumpty: The Age of Trump in Verse
    Author

    John Lithgow

    John Lithgow is an award-winning actor who has starred on stage, film, and television. A New York Times bestselling author of eight books for children, he lives in New York and Los Angeles.

    Read more from John Lithgow

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    Reviews for Dumpty

    3/5

    67 ratings13 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Brilliant! Entertaining! True! Mr. Lithgow has nailed! Ive always loved his portrayal of characters in movies but truly I regret being unaware of his talents as a writer! I'm a fan forever!
    • 5/5
      Great way to forget the nonsense
      Hopefully moving forward
      Enjoyed
    • 5/5
      Totally funny and very truthful. I loved it. Well worth your time.

      10 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Classic. Frightening. Heartbreaking in its truth. Backed by a quick, relevant summary of the persons named in each poem.

      4 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Says what everyone's thinking. I usually don't like Lithgow but he nails this.

      4 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This book was amazing. Though I wish it didn’t exist because that would mean we’d have a different President.

      5 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      It’s amazing how humour can take the bite out of a travesty! Well done JL!

      9 people found this helpful

    • 1/5
      it says this book was suggested by the editors...good to know only deranged liberals work for scribd...going to cancel for sure...but on the book: these people need to just shut up already...we get it, you're still whining and crying because you didn't get to ruin the country with Hillary...its really sad..it was always sad. just grow up and face the fact that Trump won 30 states. This is America, you might want to leave because it will never be the cess pool you want it to be.

      10 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Hilarious. I loved every second of it. What is needed for our time!

      6 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      A witty parody of poems that explores our political times.

      5 people found this helpful

    • 1/5
      Just a totally garbage book. Trendy and dull. Not funny.

      6 people found this helpful

    • 1/5
      Awful he wasted his time. nor relevant nor accurate. Just hateful.

      4 people found this helpful

    • 1/5
      Dull drivel, written for a dull audience. Avoid like the plague is my advice!

      3 people found this helpful

    Book preview

    Dumpty - John Lithgow

    Author

    INTRODUCTION

    I always knew I’d be preaching to the choir. Slap the title DUMPTY on a book of political humor and your bias is glaringly obvious. From the beginning I have intended these verses for people who oppose our current president, hoping to briefly yank them out of their chronic depression at his persistent grip on executive power.

    But I’m a professional actor as well as an amateur satirist. When I act, I never restrict myself to preaching to the choir. I want to please everybody. I try to make audiences laugh, cry, or scream and to occasionally make them think. I’m an equal opportunity entertainer: if I’m onstage and you’re out front, I’m your man.

    Alas, with political humor, pleasing everybody is impossible. Show your bias and you’re guaranteed to piss off half the crowd. So as an introduction to my first book of political satire, let me briefly turn away from the choir and address myself to all you Friends of Dumpty out there. You FODs may have already judged my book by its cover and refused to even open it, but if you’re reading these words, read on: I’m talking to you.

    My dear fellow citizens,

    Though I myself can’t fathom it, I acknowledge your sincere devotion to Dumpty, that strange, splenetic man. I see you on TV, laughing, cheering, and chanting at his rallies. You stand in line beforehand for hours on end, primed for the time of your lives. In your eyes, Dumpty’s bullying is courage, his bigotry is patriotism, his vulgarity is authenticity, his cruelty is unbridled fun. Your support for him springs from sheer infatuation, and like most infatuations, it’s incomprehensible to everyone else. It’s certainly incomprehensible to me.

    But let me ask you a few questions, and promise that you’ll answer truthfully:

    Given that Dumpty is such a crude, paranoid, petulant, cowardly, vicious liar, con man, and crook, would you want to work in an office where he was in charge? Would you want to join his downtrodden White House staff or the weird cast of characters in his cabinet? Would you want him to invest your life savings for you? Would you want to sit next to him at a dinner party, picnic, or sporting event? Would you want to carpool or (God forbid!) drive cross-country with him? Would you hire him to babysit your toddler or fix him up with your best friend’s daughter? Would you ask him to speak at your own memorial service?

    If you answer no to all of these questions (and how could you not?) then why in the world would you entrust your country’s future and the future of this fragile planet to him? Pause for a moment and contemplate your own contradictory leanings.

    Crazy, right?

    Now. Hopefully I’ve jostled your state of mind just enough for you to take a peek at my poems. Don’t worry: if you honestly think that my politics stink and I flout your redoubtable strictures, then kick off your shoes, mix your favorite drink, screw the words, and just look at the pictures.

    JL, June 9, 2019

    TRUMPTY DUMPTY

    Trumpty Dumpty wanted a wall

    To stir up a rabid political brawl.

    His Republican rivals, both feckless and stodgy,

    Succumbed in the end to his rank demagogy.

    Dumpty’s wall made no earthly sense,

    A boondoggle built at enormous expense.

    But he promised, in speeches despotic and shrill,

    He’d make certain that

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